It's been a month since I arrived in Heaven Dou City.
The news of the Clear Sky Clan's seclusion has shaken the entire continent. For the first two weeks, it was common to see the carriages of nobles coming and going. Merchants and workers gossiped and praised the Spirit Hall for its swift retaliation after Uncle Hao's actions, claiming that anyone who would associate with spirit beasts was a sinner to humanity.
The announcement made by Spirit Hall ruined the sect's reputation entirely. The Clear Sky Clan and its martial spirit became taboo topics among social circles.
Both empires tried to pin the blame on Spirit Hall, arguing that it fabricated the story and that the Clear Sky Clan was an honorable sect that would never align with spirit beasts. Sadly, no one believed them.
To the commoners and weaker spirit masters, Spirit Hall stood on a moral pedestal far above the Clear Sky Clan or the two empires. This scandal didn't just tarnish the sect's name—it highlighted the moral gap, as if the sect itself had proven its own inferiority, not in strength, but in character.
That forced me to change my name—to become someone else.
Even though Aunt Yuehua's identity is known to the top factions, she's been ignored because of her weak spirit power. I wasn't so lucky. As the son of the Sect Master, my name is known to the top three sects, the empires, and Spirit Hall itself.
So, I became Tang Lei—a sect disciple favored by Aunt Yuehua, one she wishes to nurture.
It's a name and identity strong enough to keep away the weaker spirit masters, and insignificant enough to be ignored by the strong ones.
Still... I'm not sure how much longer I can keep this up.
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I've tried to adapt, but I can't.
Not after everything that's happened.
Father's disappointed expression. Mother's tear-streaked face as she hugged me and whispered how much she loved me. They haunt me every time I close my eyes.
I'm trying to move on, but the city won't let me. Every time I step outside my room, whether to roam the pavilion or walk the streets, all I hear are stories of the sect—reminders of my failure. Of how I froze while Father led others to safety, while Mother rushed to help Grandpa Wudi.
I'm tired.
For the past two years, it feels like the world's been out to break me. Every small happiness is followed by something worse.
And I'm scared.
Scared of failure. Scared of staying weak and stagnant.
I know I'm depressed. I can admit that. But I don't know if I want to fix it. Should I move forward?
Should I just give up?
No one would miss me. Right?
Mom... she's gone.
And Father? He probably doesn't care about a failure who couldn't even awaken the Clear Sky Hammer.
Maybe... maybe he still loves me. But he accepted Grandpa Wei's decision to abandon me so easily.
Is awakening the hammer really that important?
It doesn't matter.
The sect will be fine. The Breaking Clan will be fine. They have Tang San.
They don't need me.
I'm just a failure.
As my thoughts spiraled deeper, I felt someone wrap their arms around me from behind.
I'd been in that embrace enough times to recognize it instantly.
"Aunt Yuehua," I said, my voice hoarser than I expected.
"Xiao Long, you need to go outside. You can't stay cooped up like this. The only times you leave your room are to go to the bathroom or to roam around randomly with no destination in mind. You won't get better like this. Please," she whispered, tightening her hold.
"Thank you, Aunt Yuehua, but I'm fine. I'm just tired."
"Haven't I told you not to lie to me?" she said, her voice firm but caring. "I can see through it. I know this isn't who you want to be. Why did you choose the name Tang Lei? Was it not to honor her—your brave, selfless mother?"
The moment she said that, my restraint snapped.
"Shut up! You don't understand anything! Stop pretending you do! Leave me alone! You don't know anything! Get out! Get out now!" I screamed, jerking away from her grasp, my voice cracking.
"I'm just trying to help you!" she snapped, showing more emotion than I'd ever seen in her. "I do understand what it's like—to feel abandoned, to feel useless. That's why I know how you feel! You can't give up, not like this. I believe in you—and so did your mother. And I knew her well enough to say this: she'd be heartbroken to see you wasting away like this!"
"Stop bringing her up! Please! I just want to be alone…"
My voice fell to a whisper. My eyes twitched, but no tears came. I didn't have any left.
She tried to step closer, and I couldn't help but remember that night—when she first reached out, when she became an anchor for my broken self.
That night, I reached back.
But now?
Should I step away?
Or should I take her hand again?
Her words echoed in my head.
Tang Lei. A name I chose to honor Mom. To keep a piece of her with me, since I had nothing else left.
Maybe… maybe I can try again.
I don't need to be some savior or chosen one. I'm not the "child of destiny."
But maybe, just maybe, I can become someone she'd be proud of.
So I didn't resist.
I let Aunt Yuehua take my hand.
"You've made your decision," she said softly, smiling through tears. "I'm glad."
Before I could reply, she continued, "Now get up. We need to change your clothes. No disciple I favor will walk among nobles looking like a beggar. And we still need to—"
Her voice faded into the background as I turned to the window.
The sky seemed clearer now.
And for the first time in a long while, the fog around me felt like it might finally be lifting.
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✍️ Author's Note:
Small chapter to set up the next arc and Volume 2. I wanted to show the MC grieving and struggling, and how Tang Yuehua helped him take the first step forward. Think of it as a prologue.
No new chapters until Wednesday—finals week. Wish me luck!
🏀 Random Musings from a Newbie Author:
If you don't care about basketball, skip this.
Ahem—CAN SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK THEY'RE FEEDING THOSE BOYS IN INDIANA?!
This has been one of the best playoffs I've seen in my short life, and I'm loving every second of it.
and also, GO THUNDER!
See you in the next one.