[Rose's POV]
The girls were acting strangely. There was some kind of complicity between the four of them that was leaving me out of the group.
"So, what's this news you wanted to tell me?" I asked Luna and Felicia.
"Felicia got the courage to propose to me," Luna replied.
Propose as in marriage? Didn't they realize that was taboo and the Church would end up coming after them?
"Are you sure you're going to make your relationship that public?" I was happy for them, but also worried.
"We have a cover. It won't be a problem," Luna replied.
"I didn't propose marriage. I suggested we both become Mr. Matthew's concubines," Felicia added.
So that was their idea of a cover. I wouldn't judge. If they were happy with that, and knowing Mr. Matthew, he would be too, then it wasn't really any of my business.
"Congratulations, I hope you'll be happy." I tried to sound excited, but the apprehension in my voice was obvious.
"You're worried about what this means for your future?" Luna asked.
"It means either we go separate ways, or I accept Mr. Matthew's offer and work for him full time," I admitted what had been bothering me.
"You're clearly happier when you're in the kitchen with him. What would be the problem?" Felicia asked.
The problem was that this wasn't the life I had dreamed of. But I wouldn't say that out loud, because that meant revealing things from my past I hadn't shared with them yet.
"She's afraid of falling for Matthy too," Miss Lilian said.
I hadn't even noticed when she arrived.
When I remained silent, it must have become clear to everyone else that Lilian was right.
"It's not that simple," I said, trying to defend myself from their stares.
"You don't have to talk if you don't want to, but have you considered that opening up might be exactly what you need?" Miss Lilian said, taking my hands gently.
She had a scary ability to see our deepest feelings. She probably noticed things we didn't even notice ourselves.
"Great, now that you're all here, we can go." This time it was Leona who spoke, I hadn't noticed her arrive either.
"What exactly are we going to do?" I asked.
"Since Luna and Felicia are joining the group, we'll need to change some things to make everything more comfortable," Lilian replied.
Now I understood what was different about them. They had all accepted becoming Mr. Matthew's women. That was where their closeness came from.
"Are you sure you want me to come along, whatever it is we're doing?" I asked.
"Of course we want you to come. You're not one of Matthy's women, yet, but you're still part of the family," Lilian said.
We hadn't known each other for that long, but she already saw us as family?
"Alright, let's go. We've got a lot to do," Lilian commanded, and we set off.
The city wasn't big, so I didn't understand why we were taking a carriage.
"What are we doing in the artisan district?" I asked.
"The suite's gotten too small. Now that our group has grown," Lilian said.
Wait, why exactly did they need a bigger suite? They weren't seriously thinking of doing that, all together with Mr. Matthew, were they?
"Don't tell me you wouldn't want to be there with us?" she asked, seeing the expression on my face.
Lilian seemed able to read my thoughts just from my facial expressions. That was terrifying, especially because she enjoyed teasing me.
My face turned bright red. I didn't even have the courage to answer that question. Just thinking about the possibility was embarrassing enough.
"Later we also want to buy a few things, we need to break in the renovated suite in style," Lilian continued teasing.
Even the other girls got a little shy about some of the things Miss Lilian said.
"I wonder what the boys are up to," I asked, trying to change the subject.
"Matthy had no plans today, so he's probably finding an excuse to explore the city's red-light district," Lilian replied.
Luna and Felicia didn't seem to care, but Leona clearly didn't like the idea of her man possibly being with other women.
"If those two dwarfs took Mr. Matthew to a brothel, they're going to regret it," the commander said.
"You don't need to blame the dwarfs. If you're mad, take it out on Mathy," Lilian replied.
The commander was too passive when it came to men. I doubted she'd have the guts to actually scold Mr. Matthew for anything.
"And you, Rose, if you were in our shoes, would you be mad at Matthy for going to a brothel?"
Lilian seemed determined to make me consider the idea of joining their group, she wasn't even hiding it anymore.
"Me? … I don't know?" The question caught me off guard, and so did my answer.
Normally I wasn't so shy around the girls, but Miss Lilian was pushing my limits today.
I tried changing the subject again, but immediately regretted it, because I ended up giving Miss Lilian even more material to tease me with.
"What are these other things you all need to buy later?"
All three of my companions blushed immediately. Only Lilian remained unfazed. That was a bad sign.
"Lingerie, of course. We need matching sets for our upcoming 'adventures' in Matthy's bed," Lilian replied without even changing her tone.
Seriously, how could someone talk so openly about sex, worse, about menages, like that? Were all succubi like this?
The looks on the other girls' faces showed they were also getting swept along by all this.
Lilian never stopped teasing me for even a second.
We dropped the carriage off at a workshop for modifications, then headed to a women's clothing store to buy the lingerie.
I was nervous about it, knowing Miss Lilian, I wouldn't be spared. She'd probably make me buy lingerie too.
Of course, my fear came true. Before I could say anything, I was trying on lingerie with them.
"I don't have anyone to wear this for, why should I buy it?" I protested.
Lilian had picked a set that was… bold, to say the least. I didn't even have the courage to step out of the fitting room wearing just that.
"Come on already, stop being a killjoy," Lilian shouted from outside.
I took a deep breath and finally got the courage.
"Gorgeous, it's perfect on you, don't you all think?" Lilian commented.
"Your breasts are so beautiful, it's not fair," Felicia added.
I was red as a tomato. I'd never been dressed like that in front of anyone.
"Alright, you can change back. I promise I won't tease you anymore. But you are taking that lingerie with you," Lilian said.
She must have noticed that I'd hit my limit, because after that moment, she stopped pushing.
A while later, while the other girls were still trying on lingerie, she came to talk to me privately.
"Sorry if I pushed too hard today, but I wouldn't have done it if I wasn't sure that deep down, you were enjoying it," she began.
Could she really see something in me that I hadn't even seen myself?
"Don't worry, I know you didn't mean any harm," I replied.
"What are you afraid of? I've seen the way you look at Matthy while you cook together. Why not give in to that desire?"
I'd never talked to anyone about it, so I surprised myself by opening up to Lilian.
"I come from a noble family. My father was just a baron and didn't have much money," I began.
"But still bound by noble traditions, right?" she asked.
"Yes. I only had sisters, my mother died before she could give birth to a boy."
I usually avoided remembering my family, especially my mother and sisters.
"So my father arranged a marriage with the second son of another baron. He would be adopted into our family and become my father's heir."
She just kept listening as I spoke.
"Since my fiancé would be adopted into our family, my father wouldn't have to pay a dowry. I convinced him to use those resources to help marry off my two sisters."
"If you're not married now, something must have gone wrong. Your father probably couldn't offer a good enough dowry to arrange another match for you," Lilian said, and she was right.
"My father got a woman pregnant during an affair. When the child was born and turned out to be a boy, he married the woman to make the boy his legitimate heir. The other family canceled the engagement."
Talking about it wasn't easy, but Lilian had a way of making people feel safe enough to open up.
A simple hand on my shoulder and I felt comfortable continuing.
"With no money for a dowry, my father's only option was to offer me as a concubine to some high-ranking noble," I continued.
"Which probably meant you'd become some old man's sex object," Lilian said.
Again, she was right.
"That's exactly what happened. He practically sold me to a disgusting old man. I can't even stand to remember him."
"I can imagine how hard that must've been," she said, gently rubbing my shoulder.
"Back then I was obedient to my father, defying him didn't even cross my mind. But when I finally arrived at that man's house…"
The memory of that wretched old man made me freeze.
"You ran away, didn't you?" Lilian asked.
I simply nodded. She gave me a hug.
"I'm sorry. I won't tease you anymore, but if you'll allow me one piece of advice…"
She paused to look me in the eyes.
"You can't change the past, but you also don't need to let it dictate how you live your present."
I was still full of doubts, but talking to someone about my past was truly a relief.
I felt as if a heavy weight was starting to lift from my shoulders.