Ran kept running, determined to distance himself from any human settlement. His murderous intent wasn't subsiding, so he had to keep moving. Running was all he could think of.
After several hours of relentless running, he stumbled over a rock and fell hard to the ground. Lying there, he covered his eyes with one hand. Only one thought haunted him, pressing in from every angle:
'Is there any... meaning to my life?'
He regretted the contract he had made with the demon. The agony of his existence weighed heavily on him, and he longed for release.
Death seemed like a preferable alternative. But even in his deepest despair, one reality held him captive: if he died now, his soul would be consumed, and he would cease to exist.
At the same time, living like this was hell.
When he had cut down the giant, the bloodlust had not been satiated. If he hadn't managed to control himself, he might have killed Dawn as well. The thought of what he could have done terrified him.
The nightmares never ceased, each one a cruel reminder of his trauma. He was becoming like that sin archdemon. He is drowning and drowning. No one to reach their hand for.
Clenching his chest, he gritted his teeth, frustration bubbling deep inside.
'I must do something about it. I can't let this go on. I have to stop it, before it's too late.'
But who could he turn to for help? He was all alone in this cruel world. Who would listen to his words, understand his suffering?
'Even now, nothing has changed. I am... all alone.'
A flash of memories crossed his mind. His half-siblings, each one filled with disdain for him. Returning to the Bloodrune estate would be futile.
He would only be used by the patriarch. His power, would be exploited to further the family's ambitions, and he would be nothing more than a tool, a weapon to be wielded in their endless struggle for power.
He couldn't go back. He'd rather die than be used as a pawn.
'I don't even know what my mother looks like.'
His mother had disappeared after giving birth to him, and he had never known anything about her except that she had briefly been with his father. It was just another bitter truth in his life.
Since childhood, he had been raised to follow the Bloodrune family's rules. He wasn't the only bastard in the family.
There were total 43 members, and among them, only 15 were legitimate children and high-ranking officials. The rest, like him, were bastards.
He had always obeyed the family's orders, taking every life-or-death test, enduring cruel training to turn him into a killing machine.
Before the mana drain, he had been a prodigy. A weapon, respected and feared by all. But when the disease had struck, everything had crumbled.
If he were to return now, the patriarch would offer him a high-ranking position. But that would come at a price. He would be used as a tool for the family's benifit, sent to kill his family's rivals, without a single thought for his own life.
He doesn't want that.
'Who could help me?'
A thought flickered in his mind.
"A shaman. Yes, maybe a shaman could help."
A glimmer of hope ignited in his chest. Perhaps they could offer him a solution, a way to escape this nightmare.
Shamans were notorious for using dark magic, and many believed they were the last practitioners of the ancient arts that demons had once used. They were outcasts, much like him.
Maybe they knew something that could help him control the bloodlust, something to stop the inevitable destruction that was creeping into his soul.
_________
He returned to Runa village, now half destroyed after the battle. To his relief, the inn was still standing.
From people's talk, he learned that Dawn Montello had been credited with saving the village, earning praise from the Skyford patriarch. He heard she would be honored by both the Skyford and Montello families next week.
'She's become quite the topic of conversation.'
Ran approached the manager and bribed him a few gold coins.
"Tell me where I can find a shaman."
The word shaman was like a forbidden word in the world. Their practice of dark magic made them pariahs in a world that had long since rejected their ways.
The innkeeper blinked in surprise but took the gold without hesitation. Leaning in, he whispered in Ran's ear.
"I heard there's one living in the slums of the next district. You should try there."
Ran nodded before waling away. Finding a shaman in the slums was hardly surprising.
They are rejected by the society and forced to live on such places. Ran could relate. He, too, had been pushed to the margins.
'Maybe they can help me.'