Each stolen glance only deepened her unease.Sophie sat rigidly,her gaze fixed on the road ahead,jaw clenched as though holding back a tide of words she had no intention of releasing.There was quiet defiance in her silence.An unyielding wall that dared Annette to ask,to probe,to understand.But Annette said nothing.The weight between them was palpable,thick with shared history and unspoken resentments that neither woman dared to name.
Annette cleared her throat,the sound brittle in the charged silence."You sure she'll be there?"she asked,eyes fixed on the road but voice laced with something between skepticism and concern.
Sophie didn't look at her."Today,on saturday,she is always indoors,"she replied flatly,her voice low,guarded.
A beat passed.
Annette risked another glance."You look...tired,"she offered,the words hesitant,as if unsure whether they would be accepted as kindness or insult.
Sophie finally turned to her,her eyes sharp and shadowed."That's what happens when you live in a war zone,"she said cooly,then turned away again.
Annette gripped the wheel tighter,swallowing the response that rose in her throat.The rest of the drive unfolded in heavy silence,each woman lost in the thrum of her own thoughts,both unwilling to lower their armor.
Annette's eyes lingered on Sophie longer this time.The woman's clothes hung a little too loosely,as though her body had quietly shrunk beneath the weight of exhaustion.Faint bruises,barely concealed by makeup,A peeked from the edge of her sleeve.Her face once radiant was now marked by deepeening lines and a pallor that no amount of powder could mask.Wrinkles etched around her eyes and mouth spoke not just of age but of suffering- repeated,relentless.Beatings,perphaps .Or the slow corrosion of daily dread.
Annette said nothing,but in her chest,something twisted.She looked away,her jaw tightening as a strange heaviness settled in her chest.She has never liked Sophie never needed to but something about the quiet brokenness in her posture,the way she sat folded into herself,sparkled a flicker of something unexpected.Concern.Maybe even protectiveness.
"You don't have to keep doing this,you know,"Annettte said quietly,eyes fixed on the road but heart thudding.
Sophie didn't respond right away.She shifted slightly,the silence stretching between them like a fragile thread.
"Doing what?"she asked,though the edge in her voice had softened just slightly.
"Surviving him,"Annette replied."Like it's the only option you have."
For a moment,Sophie said nothing.But her hands,resting in her lap,trembled ever so slightly enough for Annette to notice.Enough to know her words had landed.
Sophie let out a dry,almost bitter laugh,shaking her head slowly.
I'm fine,Annette.Honestly,"she said,forcing a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes."I'm happy.There's no problem."
Annette glanced at her,catching the faint quiver in her voice -the too-quick blink that betrayed more than the words claimed.
"Right,"she murmured,not pushing further.Not yet.
But inside,she knew.Happiness didn't wear fear like a second skin.And people who were fine didn't smile like they were trying to convince themselves.
The car rolled smoothly along the winding path, the quiet interior filled with an unsettling yet contemplative atmosphere. Sophie gazed out of the window, making an effort to take in the passing dusty trees, while her thoughts swirled with a mix of emotions and reflections.
why is she really here?she thought,her jaw tightening.Is this co-parenting thing just a doorway to wiggle back into his life?
Sophie's stomach churned.
Do they text more than I know?Beyond the "How's the kid? messages-are there late-nights chats?Little flirty moments wrapped in innocent words?
She swallowed hard.
Has he ever told her he misses her?Do they laugh about things I'll never understand-jokes from a time I was never part of?
She glanced at Annette's hands on the steering wheel-steady,confident.
All these years ,I've been one holding Kinuthia together.Covering the bruises with excuses.Raising his son like my own.Enduring the silences,the sudden tempers,the indifference.And now she returns,cool as rain,and I'm supposed to just ....smile?
Her heart beat faster.
Was I ever more than a placeholder?A substitute to raise the child he made with someone else,while he kept a piece of himself stored away for her?
The car slowed as they neared the turn.
And what if she wants him back?Would he hesitate?Would he even look back at me?
Sophie crossed her arms,looking straight ahead,her face unreadable- but inside,her thoughts were unraveling.
Annette glanced sideways ,catching the way Sophie sat-rigid ,arms crossed ,jaw clenched on barbed wire.
"You okay?"she asked,her voice cautious,trying not to provoke but unable to ignore the storm brewing beside her.
Sophie didn't answer right away.She kept her gaze locked on the horizon ,lips presssed into a tight line.
"Just tired,"she muttered finally.
Annette nodded slowly,but the atmosphere didn't ease .It pressed heavier.
"It's not easy,I know,"Annette offered,eyes flicking back to the road."Balancing everthing."
Sophie let out a quiet bitter laugh."You know?she echoed.Do you?"
Annette's grip on the steering wheel tightened.
"I didn't mean-"
"Forget it,"Sophie cut in,her voice sharper now."Let's just get this over with."
A heavy silence fell again, thicker than before.
Annette didn't respond.But something in her face shifted-a flicker of guilt,or maybe regret.
The turn to Asta's aunt place was just ahead.
The car rolled to a stop just outside the compound.Before either of them could step out,the rusted gate creaked open,revealing two figures already waiting.
Asta's aunt stood tall and composed,wrappped in a patterned leso,her arms folded across her chest in that warm-but-watchful way only older women could master.Beside her,her husband-broad-shouldered and smiling-lifted a hand in greetings.
"Karibuni!"the aunt called out,already walking toward the car."We've been expecting you!"
Annette stepped out first,and immediately,the aunt's face lit up."Annette! Look at you-it's been too long!"
Sophie climbed a moment later,quietly, brushing imaginary dust off her skirt.She offered a polite smile,but it went largely unnoticed.
The aunt embraced Annette like a long lost daughter,holding her shoulders as she took her in with admiration ."You appear even more refined and beautiful than when last had the privelege of seeing you."
The uncle joined in,shaking Annette's hand enthusiastically."You haven't changed a bit!Come,come inside.You're both very welcome."
Sophie lingered by the car,her smile tightening.
Of course.The golden girl returns and suddenly,the rest of us fade to background noise,she thought bitterly.
Annette glanced back and gestured for her to come along."Sophie,"she said gently."Let's go."
Sophie nodded,masking her emotions behind a polite expression.But inside,the sting was sharp.
So this is how it starts,she thought.She takes the wheel,the attention,the air in the room and I am left clapping quietly from the sidelines.
They followed the aunt and uncle inside,the warmth of the welcome thick in the air but Sophie felt none of it.
As they stepped into the house,the scent of fried onions and old wood filled the air.The soft,colourful hum of SpongeBob SquarePants episode drifted from the sitting room,where two children sat cross-legged on a worn carpet,their eyes wide with animated wonder.
The smaller of the two-a bright-eyed boy in a faded red T-shirt -looked up first.For a split second,his face was blank,and then it lit up like a sunrise.
"Mummy!"he squeled,scrambling to his feet.
Before anyone could react,he sprinted across the room with joyful abandon,hurling himself into Sophie's arms and nearly knocking her off balance.
"You came!You really came!Did you bring me candies?"he asked,clutching her neck,eyes gleaming with innocent hope.
Sophie laughed softly,wrapping her arms around him with a tenderness that cracked something open inside her."Oh darling,I'm so sorry-I forgot this time,"she said,brushing his hair back from his forehead.
The boy's smile faltered just a little ,but he tightened his grip around her anyway,content just to have her there.
Annette stood frozen in the doorway.
She hadn't expected this-hadn't expected the boy to leap toward Sophie with such raw joy,hadn't expected to feel the pang that now pressed hard against her chest.
Her heartbeat quickened, uneven and erratic, echoing the tumult within her. Something cold and familiar twisted inside her chest, a dark reminder of loss and longing. He is supposed to be mine too, she thought sharply, a wave of despair crashing over her. Why does it feel like I'm watching a scene from a life I've been quietly written out of, an audience to my own heartache?
As she looked at Sophie, kneeling there, arms cradling a child with effortless grace, a sharp pang of envy pierced her heart. Sophie radiated a warmth and belonging that felt just out of reach, a bittersweet ache filling the space where joy should reside. Why did it feel as though she was fading into the background, cast aside while the world moved on, leaving her alone with her tangled emotions? She wanted to scream and weep, to reclaim a part of the life that felt stolen, but instead, she stood frozen, a silent witness to the happiness that felt like a distant dream.
And for a moment,Annette felt something bitter scrape against her ribs.
was I just the vessel?The begginning of something that was never meant to include me beyond biology?
The laughter of the boy echoed in the room,innocent and unware-its purity clashing painfully with the silent war playing out behind adult eyes.