Plot Twist Number 86:After the karaoke kiss chaos, word spread FAST. By first period Monday, half the school already knew. The other half had probably made fan edits.
Ivy:"We're famous now. Do we start selling merch or what?"
Me:"Let's get rich or die petty."
Plot Twist Number 87:Just when things were calming down — guess who returned to school?Maya.Yep, Zayne's salty, toxic ex.
She walked in like she owned the building, hair flipping in slow-mo, wearing sunglasses indoors like she was legally blind to other people's happiness.
Me:"Oh great, Satan's intern is back."
Plot Twist Number 88:Maya immediately cornered Zayne at his locker, dramatically sobbing about how she "still loved him" and how "a ratty drama club reject could never replace what they had."
Ivy literally choked on her snack.
Ivy:"Did she just call you a ratty drama club reject?"
Me:"Oh it's ON."
The Revenge Plan
Plot Twist Number 89:We planned the Glitter Bomb of Justice™.During lunch, Ivy snuck a packet of ultra-fine, neon-pink glitter into Maya's gym bag.
As Maya dramatically opened it to fix her lipstick, POOF — a literal cloud of glitter exploded into her face.
Plot Twist Number 90:She shrieked so loud Lucifer hissed from three classrooms away.
Plot Twist Number 91:Instead of being embarrassed, Maya tried to play it off like she meant for it to happen.
Maya:"Ugh. Pink glitter's IN this season."
Crowd:Girl, no.
The Surprise Proposal
Plot Twist Number 92:As if things weren't messy enough, Nate — still salty about losing the karaoke battle — made a scene in the cafeteria.
"Ari, I'm done hiding my feelings. Marry me."
Plot Twist Number 93:He was dead serious.Holding a ring pop.On one knee.In front of the ENTIRE SCHOOL.
Me:"Nate, bro. I'm literally 16."
Ivy:"Wait, is it strawberry flavor tho?"
Plot Twist Number 94:Zayne jumped in, snatched the ring pop and ate it.
"Over my dead body, bro."
The cafeteria lost its mind.Ivy fainted again.Lucifer knocked someone's juice off a table for no reason.
Final Tally:
Glitter bomb revenge: flawless
Nate's public proposal: unhinged
Maya's humiliation: chef's kiss
Zayne's ring pop flex: iconic
Ivy's snack count: 6
Chaos level: maximum