Man, I fucking hate dealing with other powerful criminals. It's so annoying. Cause first of all, we both bring our guys and we all have guns. And if things aren't smooth, we're always flashing guns while trying to hold back on pulling the trigger for the sake of the bag. It's ridiculous.
Today I've got to meet with the legit most powerful fuck in town, and it's annoying as shit. All I know about him is he's a Mexican Immigrant that's gotten too embroiled in our town's system. He's been a city worker, county clerk for the court. He's been a businessman, owned a McRonalds before. It's still open, his son runs it now. And of course, he's always been a gang leader. Fucker is everywhere, I swear to God.
And he likes to do the Oppressive Gang approach. Like he makes his men show up randomly to yell at me. It's how I learned people wait for you in the freezer section to catch your ass outside. They showed up while I'm looking at pizzas to tell me to meet with this fuck yesterday. It's maddening. Like, I had to block their punch with a pizza and it broke what was supposed to be my lunch pizza. Dick move, gangster.
Anyway, now I'm at this gangster's fucking house. I hate being here. Our gangs hate each other. We don't eat their food. They fuck with our shit. They put relish on my hot dog, then got mad I was offended. Like bitch, nobody likes relish. You're a dick.
Anyway, we're trying to do a rigged Arms Deal here. Basically I'm working with the government again to take out a rival. Cause I hate this fucker, he always fucks with me. He knows too much cause I dated too many girls in his gang. Fucking open up to the wrong bitches, and this dude throws shit out like it's candy to make fun of me. Like how I cried when my cat died. Fucking prick.
Anyway, we set up the deal. Now if the government is good, these guns are gonna be rigged like it's some videogame shit. You're gonna have to take my word for it, but trust me. These guns will be rigged to do absolute bullshit. Especially if I get the tricks I want.
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Alright, so it worked well in the wrong way. Good news, they got the guns. Bad news, they tried to betray me immediately and the guns got exposed as rigged. Good news? We fucking destroyed them. Bad news? They got more guys, and they still got their own guns. It's annoying as shit, but now I'm in a war. The best news is the Cops will be helping to an extent. The extent is they're against me as well. But that's fine, we can work with this.
The Cops are a better tool anyway, especially if I set the pieces right. They can legally kill a man if I set the situation perfectly. And well. This gang is known for terrible, heinous crimes. In this town, they're known as Desert Vultures. Cause they're from the desert, and they steal your organs. Heh, sick joke of mine about them. Really it's cause they feed you to vultures after they steal your organs.
So now I am at war with these Vultures. It'll be a messy game for sure. Criminal versus criminal and it's big gangs in town. It'll be pretty fucked. But the Cops are involved, which means it'll stay low key for a while. Which is my expertise, especially since I've got some allies with the Cops.
Now our board will be our hometown, Vermillion City. The city that bleeds in secret. Beneath the vague rug that is the town's vow of secrecy. All for the sake of getting away with crimes and not being made fun of.
It's a fun and spooky town board. We've got Spiritualists, Psychologists like myself, Gangsters, Musicians, and much more. It's a diverse, deadly board of bullshit I love and hate. If only our education wasn't so good. It'd be easier to manipulate people.
So this shit starts off as Psychological Warfare for fun. My play is complex and shrewd. I've been sabotaging people's guns. Just like I did with the Desert Vultures. It's to the point of madness, and it's delectable. Nobody can fire a shot at me, unless they get a gun from another Arms Dealer. And I'm the cheapest in town. So you better ride to Texas to get a gun. And worst case scenario, I'll sneak into your house and rig it.
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Lucius Dehaviell stands in the middle of a parking lot, surrounded by three men wielding medieval weapons. And Lucius is smiling with glee.
"YO, WE REALLY DOING MARTIAL WARFARE!? WE HAVEN'T DONE THIS SHIT FOR HALF A CENTURY AT LEAST!" Lucius yells happily.
"Shut up! This is serious! You're dead for fucking with everyone's guns!" Modern Samurai says angrily.
This man wears a Death Notebook t-shirt showing the main character eating an apple, black jeans, and blue shoes. He has red dyed hair, and blue eyes. He has a videogame katana. It looks like it's out of the game Oniflusha Demon Slayer.
He does an overhead swing which Lucius easily dodges with a pivot of his feet followed by a punch to the throat. Then he begins wrestling the man for his katana, and easily rips it out his hands. Then he swings it wildly a few times at the Modern Samurai, which makes him backpedal rapidly.
Lucius laughs maniacally, and admires his new katana.
"Yo, I'm about to cut you bitches up." Lucius says with cocky bloodlust.
Lucius hears the dragging of feet, and turns to see the second man doing a small jumping thrust at him with a spear made of brown wood with a steel blade. He wears a red hoodie, black pants, and black sneakers. He is a black man with a blonde afro.
Lucius sidesteps, then leaps forward with his katana with a powerful overhead slash. The Hoodie Spearman blocks with the front of his spear, then takes advantage of the momentum to swing his back end into Lucius's hip! Lucius groans with pain, and takes a few steps back.
"Alright, you're good. I don't like that. Not everyone is supposed to know tricks like that." Lucius says with nervous pain.
"Why'd you sabotage the guns?" Nunchuck Stan says angrily.
Nunchuck Stan is a 40 year old white guy that's bald wearing a white polo, blue jeans, and crocs. He wields two steel nunchucks with extreme hesitancy.
Lucius smiles sheepishly.
"Honestly, I just wanted to make life easier for me. Now I'm having fun." Lucius says happily.
Lucius lunges forward with a thrust at Nunchuck Stan, which is blocked narrowly with half of the Nunchuck. Barely missing Stan's fingers. Lucius pulls the sword to the left, and swings hard to the fight. Nunchuck Stan doesn't move fast enough, and gets cut across the stomach. Blood flies. Lucius's smile becomes even more twisted.
"Man, sometimes being a criminal is fucking delightful. Now I sabotaged the town, and we bring melee back? Oh god, what a day to be alive. I always said melee is where the skill is at." Lucius says with maniacal glee.
"You're as crazy as they say you are." Hoodie Spearman says fearfully.
"Oh, I'm the villain. That's for sure. I'm a King Villain in a city of criminals. And today the bloody battlefield is dictated by melee. Glorious melee." Lucius says with happy bloodlust. "Enough chat, let's fight." Lucius says quickly.
Lucius suddenly swings with two hands hard down, cutting through the wood of the spear. Lucius yells "Fuck yes!" Then he stabs the Hoodie Spearman in the chest, getting his blade about two inches inside him. Then he retracts the blade, and points his blade at the remaining unwounded man, the Modern Samurai.
"So you guys want to walk away alive this time?" Lucius asks with cocky kindness.
They hesitate, and look at each other nervously. Lucius chuckles sadistically as they communicate silently through fearful shuffles and flinches. Finally, in near unison they walk away from Lucius. While Lucius puts away his new katana in his trunk.
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The Town is pissed at me, go figure. And the government is mad too. I wasn't supposed to get away with sabotaging this many guns. To where we're going full melee? It's on the news, my little swordfight. Maddening, but whatever. Our town is Anarchist. They won't press charges. They'll just try to kill me again.
Now there's a new Arms Dealer in town, courtesy of the Desert Vultures. He's arming their men well enough, and it's annoying as shit. Only half a day, and my dreams of Martial Warfare are crushed once more. Ah well, at least I have a new katana now.
So now I'm carrying two automatic pistols and this katana. Along with three grenades. I'm a Arms Dealer ladies and gentleman, there's perks to this madness. But don't forget. The downside is that you're a criminal like me. It ain't all fun and games either.
Like check this shit out from the government. They want me to unlock the local Cops' guns. Which ain't good for me just yet. I need more time for chaos. But unfortunately they turned off my power, so I did what they wanted, and unlocked the Cops' guns. It's bullshit, but ah well. They warned me about my recent fight as well, but I mainly ignored it. Somebody has to officially press charges for that shit to happen, and we all love being criminals too much.
As many people as possible are keeping their locks on whether they like it or not though. But they're bypassing them. And hacking me back for it. It's irritating as hell. My own Gangsters are forcing me to unlock random fuckos guns too, which I know will bite me in the ass eventually.
So my next move with all this is to go for their arms. I need to take out the Rival Arms Dealer and deal with the Hackers. The second goal is almost impossible, so we focus on the first. God, I hate hackers. There's too many of them, and they're all too far for me to be able to fight them properly.
Now my first step is obtaining knowledge on the location of this Arms Dealer's guns. Cause we're gonna win this passively. Current strategies are as follows:
Stress the Gang and their Workers. I don't know much about where they make their money, but I know this: the gang's fucking racist. They only like people from their own country or people that marry into the gang. And I mean literally, like they suck a Mexican gangster's dick every night.
Group 2 of a series of ideas that are all grouped into one strategy: fuck up what my friend calls the Logistics of the business. Basically everything that makes the job go smoothly. I immediately realized we need to take out 3 things: Deliveries in and out of their warehouses, their workers, and their Quality Control. It'll be enough to focus on to fuck things up. And we can already start stressing their gang through interrogations to find out what we need to know.
Time for some torture sessions. Don't forget hackers. I'm a real criminal too, motherfuckers.
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Lucius walks down the street in a disguise. He's playing a street level villain today, doing his own crimes. He's approaching a hotspot for the Desert Vultures in the dead of night. Why? Placing electric bus in the area to monitor the area. And some tricks of the troll trade to manipulate the locals. Lucius has a whole backpack full of goodies. And a shit eating grin as he strolls happily towards the place.
He wears a brown hoodie with a black beanie, blue jeans, and black sneakers. He's dressed like a typical worker. Why? To blend in. He's even rubbed motor oil on his hoodie to seem more like a mechanic. People like mechanics, they fix their car. They're less likely to fuck with them. At least, Lucius thinks so.
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Alright ladies and gents, why the subterfuge on my outfit? Why the mechanic look? Cause the best way to blend in a society you barely understand in my opinion, is to look useful in a legal way. So typically I choose a mechanic cause I can fix your car. And I can actually. I can also fix your fucking gun if I felt like it, that's my main skill actually.
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Lucius reaches the spot. It's the town plaza's parking lot. Where the food trucks are at. The Desert Vultures control the center of town.
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I hate the Vultures own this place. They lean over us subtly and not so subtly when we're here. Back when I was small, they always talked shit. They'd threaten me a lot, flash guns and shit. One day they forced me to stay away. It went a bit bad that day. We almost killed each other. But the government or the town was involved. The guns were rigged. They were filled with blanks. So it was a fist fight I had to run from instead.
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Lucius begins by going to the grass by the edges of the parking lot. He digs shallow holes, and places bug mics in the ground. Then he covers the holes back up. After this, he pulls out a unique and absurd spy tool he has thanks to his government connections. Fisheye sticker cameras.
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Alright roll with me bros. So these are cameras that are literally just stickers with a fisheye camera inside. Fucking nuts right? These things are super useful. Only downside is that it's a fisheye camera which sucks. But it's useful cause I can just slap these bad boys any fucking where bros. And while I'm here, I might hack a camera or two.
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Lucius begins placing a fisheye sticker camera on every table in the parking lot. He also places them on the parking lots' safety bumpers. Concrete slabs meant to keep you from driving into another car. As if the denizen of the car couldn't just step out their car and deflate their tire.
With this deed done, Lucius leaves for now.
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I'm heading home to observe this area. I will figure out who the true workers and gangsters of the Desert Vultures are. And who are just fucking customers. Cause well. I don't want to kill a potential source of income. But a fellow criminal? Well, they say we're thick as thieves. But they're also competition. And it's kill or be killed as a criminal. Ain't no fun and games when there's more than one gang in town. We compete too hard. Our first step as gangsters is plays like this for people like me. For others. They just get fucking shot at.
I'm a Manipulator homie. I do this for more than aesthetic. It's damage control as well sometimes. Don't hurt the money, hurt the players. The money bags are playing ball at their job. We fight on the streets for our riches. That's how it's like when you're a criminal. This shit ain't a game, even when you're a manipulator like me.