The Bone Circle was in full idiot mode now, stomping through Karakura Town like a pack of unseen chaos spirits. Streetlights flickered, vending machines trembled, and ducks mysteriously vanished from ponds.
Yammy, still holding his half-eaten trash-can sandwich, lumbered beside me, sniffing the air like a hound.
"Yo, boss. Which shop we hittin'?"
I glanced around, sand-colored eyes narrowing at the peaceful streets. One small convenience store glowed quietly on the corner. No customers inside. No clerk behind the counter. Perfect.
I pointed a massive finger.
"GRUAAHH."
[Translation: That one.]
Yammy's face lit up like a child about to steal his first candy bar.
"AHAHA! Leave it to me!"
Without another word, the ten-meter-tall idiot bolted forward, legs pounding against the street, and leapt straight at the shop — both fists raised.
"YAAAHOOOO—"
CRASH—ZAP
A bright flash of light exploded from the storefront as Yammy's massive body slammed into an invisible barrier. With a BOOOOM and a burst of static, he was launched back like a sack of bricks, smashing into a parked car with a loud metallic crunch.
"OWWWW! What the hell?!"
The Bone Circle froze.
A moment later, the front door of the shop slid open with a cheery ding-dong.
Out stepped a lanky man with a striped green-and-white bucket hat, spinning a cane between his fingers. Beside him, a hulking, bald man in a dark robe crossed his arms, radiating spiritual pressure like a mountain. And lastly, a small black cat with golden eyes hopped onto the railing beside them, tail flicking lazily.
My eyes widened.
Wait… I know these guys.
I stared for a long moment, brain rattling like an empty coin jar.
Who were they again? Something with hats… and buff guy… and… a smug cat?
Nothing. Total blank.
The bucket-hat man tilted his head with a sly smile.
"Yo, big guys. Any reason you're throwing yourselves at my shop in the middle of the night?"
His tone was light, but I felt the threat coiled beneath it.
The big bald dude cracked his knuckles, and the cat squinted, looking straight at me like it knew what flavor of idiot it was dealing with.
I straightened up and cleared my throat.
"GRUAH!"
[Translation: Vacation.]
Baraggan sighed deeply behind me, already floating backwards.
The Bone Circle tried to look casual, Edrad whistling badly and Nakeem pretending to tie his nonexistent shoelaces.
Bucket Hat's smirk widened.
"Uh huh. Vacation, huh?"
Before anyone could run, the bald guy — moving way faster than a man his size should — closed the gap and cracked Yammy upside the head with a fist like a cannonball.
"BWAUGH!"
Yammy flipped back onto his face with a crash.
Edrad and Yylfordt tried to run. Bad idea. The cat darted forward, tail blurring, and slapped both of them in the back of the head.
WHAP-WHAP
The entire Bone Circle got stomped in less than ten seconds.
I made the mistake of turning to bolt too late.
"Nice try, big guy."
The bucket-hat man's cane cracked me right on the forehead.
"GRAAAUHH!"
[Translation: OW, DAMMIT.]
We were left in a twitching, groaning pile.
Even Aizen (still my dog) got smacked by the cat, yelping softly as Kukkapūro jumped to safety.
The man dusted his hands off, the bald giant flexed his arms, and the cat huffed.
"Next time, use the door."
With that, the three turned, heading back inside as the store door gave another cheery ding-dong. The barrier hummed back to life.
Grimmjow arrived a moment later, crouching on a fencepost, smirking down at our wrecked forms.
"Tch… losers."
I groaned, raising a thumb.
"GRUAH…"
[Translation: Worth it.]
+4,000 EP for getting your ass kicked
Current EP: 89,25,000 / 100,000,000
Hueco Mundo would definitely hear about this.
And so would every vending machine in town.