Almost three weeks into the new school year, I was sitting in the Great Hall absorbed in my new favourite pastime – Draco watching. I figured that if I was going to spend the rest of my life bonded to him, I ought to know him, so I watched. I watched as he struggled to keep our relationship platonic when his Veela side was screaming for him to court me. I watched as he sat down on the other side of the room, deliberately staying away so I could have some time alone with my friends. I watched as he held his tongue every time Ron insulted him, not wanting to hurt me. I watched as girls of all ages threw themselves at his feet, and he just pushed them away, continuing to talk to me about whatever we were discussing. I watched as he jumped around in joy after getting a letter from his mother saying that she accepted his mate and would support him through everything. I watched as he always seemed to be there when I felt down. I watched as he gave me time I so sorely needed. And I watched as he fell deeper in love with me.Yes, I know that might sound very conceited, but it was true. Draco Malfoy was slowly but surely making his way deeper into the bottomless pit that is love, and I'm afraid I was about ready to jump after him. I know what you're thinking, 'Oh, banish the thought!', but really, the bottomless pit was starting to look more and more appealing with everyday that passed. Then why didn't I take everything one step further, you might ask, and the truth is, I was scared. I was scared that if I told him he would laugh at me and say it had all been a joke, I was scared that he would leave me and I would be left alone, but most of all, I was scared that he wouldn't. I was scared that when I told him he would want to stay with me, and demand we complete the bond. And even though I felt something for him, I was not ready to go there yet. So I kept quiet.
I could tell Hermione had figured it out, she'd been trying to get me on her own by giving me the 'look' for quite some time now, but I always managed to come up with an excuse and run off. It must have annoyed her to death. However, it couldn't last forever, and as Draco and I were walking away from the Great Hall she cornered us and whisked me off into a classroom nearby, telling Draco not to worry and to go on, I would arrive in a minute. A minute my arse, a talk from Hermione took at least ten.
Sighing deeply, I sat down on the desk, swinging my feet back and forth. "What did you want?" I asked her in my most innocent tone, although we both knew exactly what she wanted, and that I knew what she wanted.
"I'm not up to playing games today, Harry." She said, glaring at me.
"I don't know what you're talking about," I tried, knowing she wouldn't buy it. She didn't.
"Cut it," she growled. "You've fallen in love with Malfoy," Oh really? How nice of you to notice.
Looking up at her I started twirling that one lock of hair hanging down the side of my face. "I might have," I shrugged, trying to sound calm, but already given away by the twirling. I really had to get over that particular nervous habit.
"And you haven't told him," Hermione stared at me accusingly, making me wince.
"He doesn't need to know."
"Are you daft? Of course he does! Have you read anything about Veela?" she exclaimed, and my face instantly jerked up to look at her. What did she know that I didn't?
"What do you mean?" I asked, half afraid of what the answer would be.
"You have accepted the bond, right?" she asked and when I nodded she continued. "By accepting the bond, you said yourself willing to be courted by Malfoy. You said yes to his advances and yes to the progressing of your bond. But you're not letting any of that happen, are you? You've told him you want to take it slow, and he has answered by keeping his distance. Well, here's a news flash for you, if he continues like this he'll most likely go into a coma by the end of the week! He needs to court you, or else I don't know what will happen. It's a wonder he has even made it this far, I've seen the look in his eyes when you're close to him. He's hurting, Harry, but he's hiding it because you said you needed distance!"
My eyes were wide and my breath stuck in my throat as I processed what Hermione had told me. In the two weeks I had spent watching Draco, how had I failed to notice this? Was I really such a horrible person that I didn't even notice when someone was hurting? As if reading my mind, Hermione answered me.
"No, Harry, you're not a horrible person. You've just had a lot on your mind, that's all." How in the world did she know what I was thinking? I had to ask.
"How did you know?"
"I know that look," she grinned. "It's the Harry Potter trademark 'it's all my fault, I'm a horrible person' look."
Smiling slightly, I sighed and hid my face in my hands. "I'm just scared," I mumbled, getting a pat on the head from Hermione. Really, sometimes I wonder if she didn't just see me as some dog.
"I know you are, and it's only natural, this is your first relationship after all, but you can't let your fear get in your way. Malfoy loves you, and he needs you to love him back. And even though you let him court you, you can still take it slow. Harry, I'm not telling you to jump into bed with him, I'm just telling you to tell him how you feel. And to let the bond advance. Let him hold your hand, kiss you on the cheek, buy you flowers. Only little things like that will help him a lot, and when you're ready for it, you can go further. Just don't let your fear be the reason Malfoy ends up in hospital, ok?"
Nodding I flashed her a small smile. "I thought you didn't like him, when did you become the manager of the Draco lovin' campaign?"
"I did some reading up on Veela," she said vaguely, and I couldn't help laughing a little. Trust Hermione to have consulted a book on how she should feel about something.
"Does that mean you're completely ok with the bond?" I asked.
"Well, yes, I'm getting there. I've noticed that he hasn't insulted any of us all week, and if he's making an effort, I can as well. And to tell you the truth, I'm happy for you. You know, the mate thing works both ways. It's not only you that is perfect for him, he is perfect for you too."
"More reading?" I grinned, and laughed out loud when she nodded sheepishly. "Good. And please, continue to tell me when I'm being stupid, ok?" She sent me a look and I blushed slightly. "Ok, when I'm being extraordinarily stupid then."
"That I can do," she smiled. "But to tell you every time you're being stupid, that would be too much for anyone, even a witch of my capacity."
"Smug bastard," I muttered teasingly and proceeded to run laughingly out of the classroom and down the hallway, with an indignant Hermione chasing me, calling me names and telling me to come back and fight like a man. Who needs enemies when you have friends like that?
Hermione chased me all the way down to my rooms, then she gave me an encouraging smile and made her way back upstairs. Most likely to the library. I took a deep breath to calm myself, then gave the password to the Lady and entered. I looked over to the couch and found Draco sitting there, reading. He seemed to do a lot of that.
"Are you ok? I didn't stay too long?" I asked, something I had made a habit of after that time he collapsed in the library.
Smiling, he shook his head. "No, it was fine." He answered, not once taking his eyes off the book. Nodding, I just stood there at the middle of the floor. As you've all picked up on by now, I had never been in a relationship before, and I was very uncertain on what to do. I mean, hello, how do you tell a person you wish to take your relationship to the next level? I knew Draco wouldn't mind, but it was still hard. And I wasn't sure how to go about it. Did I just tell him, or was there something special one did in situations like this? I had no clue. In the end I settled on walking over to the couch and sitting down. A lot closer to Draco than I usually would.
He finally looked up from the book and gulped when he saw me sitting so close. "Harry, I don't think you should –" he started, but I interrupted him by scooting closer.
"Don't think I should what?" Now he was visibly sweating and his mouth was slightly open. I was reminded of how encouraged I had been when he kissed me that first night and I was able to make him moan. I felt something akin to that now, proud that I could extract so strong reactions from him.
"Harry, don't tease," Draco's voice sounded strained and now I could see what Hermione had been talking about. It was killing him to have me so close and not being able to do anything.
"I'm not," I whispered, summoning every bit of my Gryffindor courage to lean up and kiss him softly on the mouth. His reaction was instant. He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me closer as he kissed me again and again. Somehow I wound up in his lap and he soon had his tongue inside my mouth, exploring every part of it. Not that I was complaining or anything, I was feeling more and more certain that this kissing business was something I could get used to. After a while air became an issue, and I reluctantly broke away.
"What brought on this change?" he asked, his hand rubbing circles on the small of my back. I didn't know what to answer, so I thought I'd stick to the truth. Bad idea.
"You were hurting."
His eyes instantly darkened, but I was too preoccupied with his hand on my back to notice. "You kissed me because I was hurting?" he asked, his tone was dangerously cold and I looked surprised over at him.
"Well, yes, but –" I didn't get to say anything more before he pushed me off his lap.
"I don't want your pity," he snarled and stalked out the room, leaving me to look confused after him and wonder what in the world I had said.