--When I came to, I found myself in deep, deep darkness.
In the midst of the spreading darkness, my mind searches for change.
The endless pitch black seems to continue to the end of the world, or the world gives off a sense of claustrophobia, like a miniature garden that only stretches as far as the hand can reach.
Where am I and why am I here?
Such a question arises, but even that is strange.
I don't even know who I am to think like that.
Only the consciousness floats in emptiness, without any will being conveyed to the flesh vessel supporting it.
I was standing. My feet were on the ground. However, my feet were merging with the darkness that covered my field of vision, making even my footing quite uncertain.
--Suddenly, a change occurs in this world where darkness has spread.
The shadows begin to distort and the space in front of me begins to crack.
After just a moment of abnormality, a single figure emerged from that spot.
I think it is the shadow of a woman. And the moment I recognize it, I cannot find a name for the indescribable emotion that fills my heart.
Urged by the explosively swelling emotions, he wanted to run towards the shadow, but his feet continued to resist his will, and there was nothing he could do against the distant shadow.
Even if I want to call out to her, I don't know what to say or how to form the words.
Even though I want to cry tears of frustration, I don't know how to express my emotions.
I don't know, I don't know, I don't understand anything.
However, as if the shadow understood my thoughts, it slowly stretched out both arms and began to close the unsettled distance between us.
Their hands slowly, surely, approached each other until they could embrace each otherーー,
『--I love you.』
A sense of euphoria spread from the touch of his fingertips, and joy enveloped his entire body――
※※ ※※ ※※ ※※ ※※ ※※ ※※ ※
Subaru's consciousness traveled back in time, and the moment it entered his body, he fell spectacularly.
"Whoa?! Wh-what's wrong, big brother?!"
Looking down at Subaru, who had fallen onto the street without warning, Kadmon was on the other side of the counter, raising and lowering his hands in a panic.
Subaru's breath hitched as he fell with all his might, and he grimaced in pain from the pointless scrapes he'd caused.
"No... I just slipped."
"You slipped, or rather, you lost a leg. Are you okay with the way you stand and walk? If you've lost everything except your common sense, I can't be with you anymore."
"That's an unnecessary worry... but what do you mean, other than common sense? It sounds like I'm a scoundrel with no common sense."
"That's exactly right. Ah, but considering that he's causing trouble for a nobleman, it does seem like he's even more difficult to deal with."
He clicked his tongue in dissatisfaction at Kadmon's terrible remarks.
Suddenly, Subaru felt someone tug on his sleeve, and immediately afterwards he felt a warm wave of energy travel through his body. He turned his head towards the warmth, and,
"--Are you okay, Subaru-kun?"
As she spoke, Rem was there, placing her palm on the wound of the fallen Subaru.
The water mana that flowed from his fingers interacted with Subaru's abrasions, enhancing their healing power and stopping the bleeding.
As Subaru felt the pain fading, a thought came to his mind at the same time.
"Remu..."
"...? Yes, it's Rem."
Subaru called out her name in a weak, husky voice, and Rem tilted her head quizzically, then,
"What's wrong? You look as if you've met a dead person. There's no need to worry, Rem is right here. This is Subaru's Rem."
Unusually for her, she smiled and spoke in a joking manner.
Subaru's current haggard appearance must have looked painful to her, and her words "like meeting a dead man" were not funny at all.
Really, not at all, anything to laugh at.
"Rem, I..."
"It's difficult. I think it sounds much more like Subaru-kun when he's smiling than when he has a gloomy look on his face. So I wanted to somehow get him to smile."
Rem frowned slightly in a troubled tone. Meanwhile, Subaru's scrapes had completely healed. Having seen this, Rem nodded and said, "It's done," and tried to remove her fingers from his touch, but...
"――――"
"Subaru-kun?"
Grabbing the fingers that tried to move away, Subaru tried to stop the warmth from escaping.
Rem looked up in surprise at Subaru's forceful behavior. However, when she saw the deep emotion clearly visible on his face,
"Really, what's wrong? Subaru-kun, I'm glad that you did this to me, but if you do it out of the blue I'll be surprised."
"Thin. Small. Warm, isn't it?"
"I'm a bit worried about being small, so it's something I don't really like to be told. It's fine if it's you, Subaru-kun, but it's only natural that you feel warm towards me. --You're alive, after all."
At that one word, Subaru looked up and saw Rem.
From the front, her eyes met, and Rem's eyes were filled with affection.
"Are you worried? But Rem is here. Subaru-kun risked his life to save you. So, it's okay."
--No. That's not it.
Subaru had caused Rem to die. Killed her. Twice, mercilessly and cruelly.
The first time, perhaps fundamentally, may have been unrelated to Subaru. But the second time was different. The second time, there was absolutely no room for excuses, Rem died for Subaru.
In order to protect Subaru, in order to save Subaru, for Subaru's sake, she had used up all her life, and even after using up all her life, she had squeezed every last bit out of it, and died for Subaru.
The Rem in front of her doesn't know this.
He remembers the pain and humiliation he had been subjected to, and how he had ended up dying a cruel death.
Only Subaru knew that.
And, if the same situation were to occur again, Rem would not hesitate to try to protect Subaru in the exact same way, only to be violated in the same way and lose her life.
"――――"
Before he knew it, Subaru was clutching Rem's small hand, as if trying to hide the emotions that were trying to spill out from inside him, and bowing his head so as not to show his face.
Subaru's reaction made Rem's fingertips tremble in anxiety, wondering if she had said something to trouble Subaru. However, that only lasted for a moment. Perhaps she thought that such an attitude would only frighten Subaru more,
"It's okay. It's okay. It's okay."
Gently, as if soothing a child, she patted Subaru on the back with her free hand.
Stroking, cherishing, until Subaru was able to lift his head.
May I always be kind and love you forever.
※※ ※※ ※※ ※※ ※※ ※※ ※※ ※
"I'm sorry to bother you, but if you keep flirting here, it won't be good for business."
These were the words Kaedmon, who had been watching the scene in front of the store, said as he shooed the two away.
Normally, Subaru would have angered them by saying something like, "It doesn't matter whether we're here or not, this isn't a viable business in the first place!", but Subaru currently did not have the mental capacity to do so.
Following Rem who was holding his hand, he quickly left the place.
The shopkeeper's conscientiousness was apparent in the fact that he didn't immediately distance himself from Subaru, and at the very least didn't disrupt the situation until Subaru had calmed down, but unfortunately for Subaru, he didn't have the time to realise this.
Right now, there was only one emotion dominating Subaru's heart.
--Kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill.
There is only an overwhelming hatred that will not disappear even after death or turning back time.
Petelgeuse Romanee-Conti.
That was the name of Subaru's current fateful enemy. The worst murderer, who committed a grave sin that can never be forgiven, and massacred Rem and the villagers.
Killing that man was the mission given to Subaru right now.
"I will definitely put an end to your life...with my own hands."
I'll distort that wicked expression with my own hands. A dark joy arises in Subaru's heart as he thinks this, and a twisted smile forms on his lips that he's never seen before.
Stab, tear, crush, twist, and kill until they beg for their life.
Just thinking about it brings an uncontrollable urge to laugh to the back of my throat.
"...Subaru-kun, can I talk to you for a moment?"
But as Subaru was immersed in this pent-up ecstasy, Rem, following him half a step behind, called out to him.
Subaru stopped in his tracks at the voice and turned to Rem, asking, "What's wrong?" She stared at his face, sniffling her perfectly shaped nose,
"No… it might just be a misunderstanding, Rem. But, I feel like the… unpleasant smell coming from Subaru-kun has gotten a little stronger."
"Not a good smell, huh?"
In response to her comment, I rubbed my nose against her arm and tried to smell it, but I couldn't identify anything.
From what Rem had said, the strong smell emanating from Subaru must have been the scent of a "witch." Thinking back, there were some similar things in what Petelgeuse had said. It was a thought I had previously considered but then forgotten about,
"So, does my Return by Death have something to do with the witch...?"
Each time Subaru tries to reveal his Return by Death, the witch's presence surrounding him grows stronger.
In the Forest of Magical Beasts, I tried to use this to my advantage, but after that I was so busy that I didn't pursue it any further and left it alone.
Perhaps an unconscious aversion to drawing that conclusion was also part of the powerful power of the word "witch."
Before he could begin to think, something he had never attempted to do before, Subaru smiled at Rem, who was watching him anxiously in silence. And then,
"Don't make that weird face, Rem. It ruins your cute face and makes your future look bleak."
"I'm sorry. Rem is a worrier, so I have to..."
"Don't worry. No matter what happens, I won't change as a person, and I won't give in to that smell or whatever. On the contrary, I'll use you or do whatever I want."
Subaru didn't have many cards in his hand.
In this world, Subaru doesn't have the cards that normal people have. So, whatever characteristics he has that could make him different from others, he has to think of them as positives and make them his own.
What's with the witch's scent? In the Forest of Demonic Beasts, I managed to outwit her malice and used her to my advantage. I'll just have to do it again in the future.
Subaru's smile left Rem in silence for a moment, her eyes wandering as if she was worried about how to respond. To encourage her indecisive attitude, Subaru scratched his head and held out his hand,
"Come on, let's go. If you're worried I'm going to run away, just grab me."
"picture?"
"You'd never win if it was a test of strength, so that makes you feel safe, right?"
Rem glanced over at Subaru's face and hands as he spoke, implying he was trying to hide his embarrassment.
"yes"
Smiling, she took his hand and stood next to Subaru, not just half a step away.
And so, the two of them stood side by side and started walking. Rem looked at his clasped hands, her mouth tightly shut, and without saying a word matched her pace with Subaru's.
As he led that pitiful girl through the lower districts of the royal capital towards the noble quarter, Subaru felt the warmth of her palm - his murderous intent continuing to surge within him.
Even though their hands are joined, their hearts are facing in opposite directions.
Natsuki Subaru's heart was endlessly dark and murky, engrossed in deeper and deeper depths.
※※ ※※ ※※ ※※ ※※ ※※ ※※ ※
This was Subaru's third loop.
The first time was when the emblem was stolen on the first day of summoning.
The second loop begins with the monster incident at Roswaal Mansion.
This is the third time that this loop is related to the Witch Cult, the full picture of which is still unclear.
In this third loop, Subaru should have already died twice.
In previous loops, when he returned to death like this, he would sort out the situation up to that point and use it as fertilizer to devise a plan.
"It's a pitiful story, but..."
This time, there was a flaw in that my memories of both the first and second times were unclear.
I remember the first world only vaguely.
Subaru and Rem headed for the mansion on a dragon carriage, but were left behind along the way, so he headed for the mansion with Otto. Subaru then parted ways with Otto along the way, and arrived at the village - after that his memories are quite hazy. The only bits of information he can recall are the deaths of Rem and Ram, and that he himself died somewhere inside the mansion.
In the second world it is even worse.
She has no memory of her return, and it is only when she meets Betelgeuse that her memories begin to become clear, and the clock must be advanced to around the time of Rem's murder.
Considering the broken mental state Subaru had been in up until that point, it was perhaps inevitable, but his memories up until that point were nothing more than fragments, even smaller fragments. He was able to gather together the fragments of his memory and remember, but――
"Petelgeuse Romanee-Conti..."
It was the name of the hateful madman, and the source of all of Subaru's current motivation.
Understanding the pathetic situation he found himself in, Subaru had to dig even deeper.
In other words, he must choose the important memories from the scattered first and second memories, and break through the loop on the third try - killing Betelgeuse. To do so, he must exert his nerves to the point of burning his brain.
The first thing you need to think about is the official deadline.
The attack on the Roswaal Mansion, and the attack on the village closest to the mansion by the Witch Cultists, would likely occur around half a day after Subaru arrived in the village.
There should be no significant change in dates between the first and second worlds. Considering that in the first world, Subaru left Crusch's mansion three days after the altercation at Kadmon's shop, and it took about two days for him to return to the Mathers territory,
"The time limit is five days, or maybe four and a half days...?"
I can only grit my teeth at the lack of time.
Even though the scale of the move was so different, the time allotted was almost the same as the previous time at the mansion. In that limited time, they had to annihilate the Witch Cultists - or at least kill Petelgeuse without fail.
Once you've checked the time limit, the next step is to check what's needed to break through the loop.
Avoiding attacks on the mansion and village, annihilation of the Witch Cult, and killing Petelgeuse. These were the problems Subaru had to deal with this time.
If one were to think about it purely, all of these conditions would be met with the final one - the murder of Betelgeuse - and they would all be automatically recovered.
In other words, the condition that fate has now presented to Subaru is,
"Kill Petelgeuse."
All can be saved by killing him, the root of all evil, the vile murderer that he is.
The rules are incredibly simple and easy to understand. All you have to do is come up with the answers necessary to achieve that simple condition.
The Witch Cult led by Petelgeuse - their fighting power is not large enough to resist alone. Even Rem, who had been transformed into a demon, was ultimately killed despite being overwhelmed by her individual strength. It is unclear to what extent Petelgeuse's "invisible hand" ability is involved in this, but there is no way they could have pushed such a large problem onto her alone in the first place.
What is needed to counter a group is the power of the group.
In comparison with such violence in numbers, the power of the Mathers territory is quite low. To begin with, I have never seen its lord, Roswaal, leading a private army. Normally, a lord would have some fighting power within his own camp, but in Roswaal's case, it may be because his own ability to annihilate groups is simply too high, but it is unknown how much of that force he has accumulated.
At the very least, there was no sign of the unknown group putting up any resistance during the past two attacks. It would be best to erase this option from your mind.
No, if I think back,
"First of all, where was Roswaal during that attack...?"
Subaru hadn't seen him the first or second time.
The second time, she was present at the scene of the mansion's collapse, and the safety of three people and one animal, excluding Rem and the villagers, was unknown. However, at the very least, Roswaal overlooked the attack on the village, which was his territory, and there was no sign of him having wiped out the Witch Cultists.
The possible reasons are:
"Roswaal was immediately assassinated or ambushed, rendering him unable to fight. Or perhaps he was absent at a crucial moment when he needed to be there...?"
If it was the former, one could only sigh at the Witch Cult's thoroughness, and if it was the latter, at the awkward timing. In fact, Roswaal had been absent from the mansion during the previous incident, and was a man with a track record of not being present at crucial moments. It was not impossible.
As he remembers these things, Subaru recalls the end of the previous loop.
"That big weird thing that destroyed the mansion?"
It was a quadrupedal beast with an incredibly large body, so large that it could be mistaken for a mansion.
The sight of the cold air it spewed out around it freezing the world was overwhelming, and although it is not clear, it is likely that Subaru died from freezing to death due to the cold.
If that was one of the Witch Cult's trump cards,
"Even more so, our fighting power is far too insufficient."
Even just one battle with the Witch Cult would clearly show that Rem alone was lacking in fighting force. And with the final boss waiting behind her, it was out of the question.
Therefore, Subaru's most pressing need was strength above all else. And strength that could stand against the Witch Cult and super-large boss characters.
And Subaru had a clue about that fighting force.
it is--,
※※ ※※ ※※ ※※ ※※ ※※ ※※ ※
When Subaru and Rem returned to Crusch's mansion, it was already evening and the sun was beginning to turn a deep crimson red.
"Have you returned home?"
And it was Wilhelm who greeted the two at the gate.
After slightly bending over from a distance, he narrowed his eyes at the two of them walking close together,
"Hmm. Subaru-sama, it can't be helped that a boy has an unfaithful streak, but I personally don't approve."
"What are you talking about, Wilhelm-san? Rem is just holding my hand so I don't get lost. Right?"
"Yes, of course. Rem is very worried if we don't keep an eye on her and hold her close so she doesn't get lost. I don't think she can let her guard down even inside the mansion."
"Well, I think that's fine though..."
When Subaru responded to Wilhelm's teasing voice, Rem tightened her grip on his hand with strange stubbornness. Grinning wryly, Subaru turned his attention back to Wilhelm,
"Does it seem like someone's come to see Crusch-san again?"
The question was asked as he looked at the dragon carriage parked next to Wilhelm.
Pulling the extravagantly decorated carriage was an elegant black earth dragon, whose fur - or rather, its hard skin looked somehow glossy.
It is unclear whether it has a lineage like a horse, but at the very least it has a presence that sets it apart from any earth dragons that we have seen so far.
The driver sitting in the driver's seat was neatly dressed in formal attire, and after nodding to us, he showed no sign of making a single unnecessary noise.
Understanding the meaning of Subaru's question and gaze, Wilhelm pulled his chin in and,
"Yes, that's right. Ever since the announcement of our participation in the Royal Selection, there has been a constant stream of people requesting an audience with Crusch-sama. Although, there are also people who are invited by Crusch-sama herself."
"So they're trying to curry favor with a man who might be the future king. I'm sure that's going to be a struggle."
Having stated the facts succinctly and without bluntness, Wilhelm gave a wry smile, then, suddenly, he caught Subaru's eye and his expression tightened.
Subaru was puzzled by his attitude and wondered what was wrong with him, but
"Subaru-dono. Has something changed your mind down there?"
"Huh? What's this all of a sudden? Do I look different?"
Subaru shrugged playfully at the sharp voice and spun around on the spot. Rem, still holding his hand, was also made to spin around with him. Wilhelm closed his eyes at what was happening.
"There is darkness in your eyes. Real, genuine darkness."
Subaru came to a sudden halt and the weary smile on his face disappeared.
And what emerges from beneath the ambiguous smile is a genuine smile.
"I don't like it, Wilhelm-san. It seems like something strange has changed in me."
"It cannot be said that this is a small change. There must be some not so good reason for this dim light to reside in it. -- and I know it."
Wilhelm replied in a low voice, a faint smile playing on his lips.
There were no bright spots in the picture, only a pure, hardened emotion towards "something", and Subaru realised this in his heart.
Wilhelm was also a man who was filled with murderous intent towards something unforgivable, and it was likely that he understood Subaru just as Subaru did.
"Will you keep me away?"
From Wilhelm's point of view, Subaru's current precarious state would make him hesitate to approach his master, but Subaru was half-sure that this would not be the case.
And in fact,
"No. Subaru-sama may do as you wish. Compared to how you were just now, when you were not even trying to see anything, I find you much more pleasing now."
Wilhelm shook his head in response to Subaru's words.
Naturally, a smile similar to Wilhelm's formed on Subaru's lips. The two of them, although they didn't know the deepest recesses of each other's minds, were acquainted on the surface.
And so, the two exchanged dark smiles,
"Subaru-kun. You have a mean look on your face."
"Hehehe... It hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts! Rem, wait, it's going to get torn apart!"
Suddenly, Subaru's ear was pulled, interrupting their nasty secret conversation. Rem narrowed her eyes at Subaru, who protested,
"Please don't make Rem feel uneasy."
"Hey, hey, I thought it was extremely unusual for Rem to make a request, but it seems rather vague. Don't worry, Rem. I'll make sure everything turns out fine."
Now that Subaru knows what he needs to do, there is nothing to be anxious about.
Right now, I feel comfortable with the simplicity of knowing there is something I need to do and what I need to do to get it done.
How reassuring it is to only have to kill whoever needs to be killed.
Subaru smiles and speaks kind words.
And yet, Rem's expression only grew more emotionless as she received it, and she clenched her hands even more tightly, as if she was frightened of something.
Then, with a confused look on her face, she started to say something, but then,
"It looks like our guests are leaving."
Wilhelm suddenly turned his attention towards the mansion and muttered this, and from the other side of the gate - the front door to the Crusch mansion was opened and a person was seen walking towards him.
He was tall with long, blond, dull hair. Dressed in well-tailored formal wear and adorned with ornaments, at first glance he planted the image of a nouveau riche in Subaru's mind. He was probably around thirty years old. His first impression was that of a dissolute aristocrat who spent his money extravagantly.
The "new rich man" (provisional name) was unaware that such an image was being held, and as he approached the gate, his eyes fell on the three people gathered there,
"Oh. What an interesting group of people."
Touching his beard, which he appears to have grown for his own fashion sense, the nouveau riche commented as he gazed upon him. Subaru raised his eyebrows in confusion, as if he knew his background, and the man politely bowed to him,
"Excuse me. My name is Russell Fellow. From now on, please be aware of this. - Natsuki Subaru-sama."
"...Thank you for your kindness. By the way, can I ask how you know my name? I know this from myself, but I'm just a small-time citizen whose selling point is my lack of individuality, so I'd be embarrassed if my name became famous."
"It was just a connection. During the Royal Selection meeting, the person who introduced himself as a knight of Lady Emilia is well known. However, not many people know that this person is currently recuperating at Lady Crusch's mansion."
In response to Subaru's growing wariness, Russell responded with a light-hearted laugh, without any unpleasantness. However, the content of his words had already made Subaru even more wary, and it was clear that he was doing it on purpose, showing his nasty personality.
"Lord Russell. Did your discussion with Lady Crusch go well?"
However, as Subaru began to cast a menacing glare, Wilhelm interjected from beside him, snatching away his warning. Russell shifted his gaze from Subaru to the old man, shrugged his shoulders, and shook his head, "No."
"Lady Crusch is a harsh person. As expected, she has a sharp eye towards us and is strict. Considering what has happened up until now, it won't be that easy."
"I see, that's unfortunate. If you won't give in, it will be very difficult to get the others to agree."
"With the status of a duke and Lord Wilhelm in attendance, the conditions are more than favorable for the start of the royal selection process. …I believe he is currently calling himself Wilhelm Trias."
Calling each other by name, the two of them continue a conversation that is puzzling to Subaru.
Wilhelm tilted his chin in response to Russell's words and lowered his deeply wrinkled face.
"It would be too presumptuous for me to take my wife's family name now."
"You are also a harsh person. To those of us who cannot live that way, you are dazzling. Nevertheless, I will be rooting for you."
After giving superficial remarks to the old man with his eyes lowered, Russell headed towards his dragon carriage - which must have belonged to him. He put his foot on his own dragon carriage and gave instructions to the silent driver,
"If Lady Crusch's aim this time comes to fruition, it will be good news for us as well. It will also be the fulfilment of Lord Wilhelm's long-cherished wish. I have high hopes for it."
The carriage doors were closed, and the driver tightened the reins, setting the carriage in motion. Just like its driver, the earth dragon respected silence and drove off without a single neigh. Subaru walked up to Wilhelm, watching the carriage leave the gate.
"Wilhelm-san. The people of today are..."
"Russell Fellow. He is the abacus who manages the commercial association of the royal capital. Although his title is merely that of the head of a merchant house, he is a shrewd individual involved in the overt and undertook movements of wealth and goods in the capital. Subaru-dono, you should assume that he knows more about him than just his name."
"Ugh. I'm not excited if it's not a girl but an old man who knows."
"Hmm, I agree with that."
Responding solemnly to the joke, Wilhelm straightened up and turned to face Subaru, before prefaced with, "Now then,"
"Russell-dono will be the last visitor for today. We will go inside, but Subaru-dono, is there something else?"
In response to Wilhelm's question, Subaru scratches his head and purses his lips.
Being too understanding is not fun either, as it makes it seem like you're trying to predict what's going to happen. However, there's nothing wrong with being understanding if you think it helps you understand things quickly.
Thinking this, Subaru straightened his back in front of Wilhelm, tightened his expression, and then,
"Sorry, but I'm the last visitor today. I want to talk to Crusch-san. The topic of discussion is whether you can lend me your strength or not."