London's Lambeth Palace had always functioned as the official residence for the Anglican Church's Archbishop. The grounds were currently opened for sightseeing, but the inside of the building was still off limits to normal people and all information on it was off limits as well.
Simply put, no one knew what it was like inside.
The most one could do was imagine what might be inside from the historic look of the exterior. The area was wrapped in mystery and fascination, and any member of the Anglican Church that cared about social status and influence set it as their goal. Without exaggerating, it could be called a throne.
The building had nothing to do with your average person and yet no one found its absolute privacy suspicious. It also had a greater magical defense network surrounding it than even Buckingham Palace where the queen lived. Everyone from the guards to the gardeners and the cleaners were well-versed in anti-intruder close combat magic. The layout of the pillars, the patterns on the wallpaper, and even the amount of light put off by the Western lamps all held magical meaning that functioned as a single trap. The building itself was a single giant device, so an intruder could not simply avoid the traps. Everything related to the building was designed with the intent of making such a ridiculous concept a reality. Due to the specific clergyman who lived there and the idea of the iron maiden, it was sometimes sarcastically referred to as the Nail Bedroom.
Lambeth Palace was currently wrapped in the silence of the night.
There was a time difference of approximately 9 hours between Japan and England.
Much fewer personnel were there than during the day, but the actual level of security was markedly higher. It was simply made to look more lax so no one would realize that fact.
Archbishop Laura Stuart was in the bath.
"Hm hm hm hm hm hmm♪"
For those who had noble visions and aspirations about Lambeth Palace, the sight of that brightly-lit room with nothing but humming echoing through it may have utterly shocked them.
It was called a bath, but the huge space was 20 meters square. But despite that size, it was not designed as a single large bath. Several dozen small premade bathtubs were crammed into the room.
And each of those bathtubs had some function that stank of the science side. There was an electric bath, a negative ion bath, a water jet massage bath, and many others.
They had all been sent to Laura from acquaintances in Academy City, seemingly as Bon festival gifts and year-end gifts.
Currently, Laura was using both hands to hold up the skirt of her beige habit, sitting on the edge of a water jet bath, and sticking just her feet into the bathtub.
She did have basin-like baths meant to be footbaths, but Laura seemed to like sticking her feet into those water jets.
Her blonde hair, that was twice as long as she was tall, looked like a spider web with raindrops in it because the steam had washed over it, but she could easily fix that later. She was focused on the footbath for the moment.
(Nnn… Now this is happiness. Okay, after I loosen up my feet, I can warm my entire body in that electric bath.)
While Laura Stuart tried to get rid of the weariness of the day, Stiyl Magnus seemed to almost smash down the door as he suddenly charged in without knocking.
"Archbishop!!" shouted that outrageous priest who had his hair dyed red, a cigarette in his mouth, silver rings on all ten of his fingers, a barcode tattoo under his right eye, and the smell of perfume and nicotine mixed together.
Laura jumped in surprise.
Even if it was just a footbath, she had her skirt pulled up quite a bit, exposing her bare legs. Laura frantically tried to lower her skirt, but her sudden movement caused her hips to slip, sending her spilling magnificently off the edge of the bathtub she was sitting on.
A loud splash like that of a crashing wave spread through the room.
With report in hand, Stiyl paid that no heed.
"Is what this report says true!? This better not be another demonstration of your skill at being a complete moron. The words of the Archbishop can cause the world to move, so you need to be more-… Stop blowing bubbles below the water and answer me! You wrote this, didn't you!?"
In reality, she was only blowing bubbles because a water jet was blasting her in the face and she could not breathe, but Stiyl could see nothing but a woman splashing around in the bathtub with her legs spread out in an M-shape and her panties clearly visible.
With another splash, Laura forcefully brought her head out of the water.
"Wh-wh-wh-why would you suddenly charge into a lady's bath with your shoes still on, Stiyl!? And even if I am a member of the clergy…no, specifically because I am a member of the clergy, I cannot let you see me like thi-…"
"Please. Just. Answer. Me!!"
"Stop, Stiyl!! If you stab your flame sword into the water, the bath will boil!!"
Laura practically fell out of the bathtub as she escaped. In the next instant, the water did not just boil; it underwent a slight phreatic explosion. The Archbishop lay on the wet floor, opening and closing her mouth as she gasped for air. Her long, long hair was wrapped around her like a cocoon, making her look like some kind of monster.
The veins on Stiyl's temple bulged out and he said, "Please just reread this report and explain it in detail for me. I just want to get my work done with so I can get to bed. Why do I have to look after such a lonely woman?"
But Laura was not listening.
"Ah!! The bathwater is causing my habit to stick to my skin, revealing the impure lines of my body! You mustn't look, Stiyl! Turn around! I do not intend to let anyone see my underwear!!"
"…"
A crunching sound could be heard.
It was the sound of Stiyl biting through the filter of his cigarette.
"W-wait, Stiyl! If you strike me directly with your flame sword, I will burn away!!"
Laura fled and Stiyl gave chase with a flame sword in one hand.
It did not look like he would get any sleep that night either.