I felt helpless once again.
I kept working, kept smiling, kept doing everything the company asked of me. But inside, I was crumbling. The lights were too bright, the cameras too close, and my reflection in the mirror looked like a stranger. These days, it felt like I was moving through syrup, slow, heavy, and numb.
The vice president had warned me not to associate with Ezekiel anymore. Her words were sharp and final, spoken like a command I wasn't allowed to question.
But I couldn't leave it alone.
So once again, I found myself sneaking off to Serenity Hospital in secret.
I wore sunglasses that were too big for my face and a hoodie pulled low over my head. In my hand, I clutched a small bag of nutritious snacks, the only thing I could think to bring. It made me feel slightly less useless.
When I reached her room, I knocked softly.
Knock knock.
"Come in."
I opened the door and saw her again.
Rebecca Solace.
But she looked worse than before. Much worse.
Back then, she had short hair that still framed her face. Now it was gone. A thin scarf rested gently on her scalp, and her cheeks had hollowed. Her skin looked almost translucent.
My heart sank at the sight.
"Oh! It's you,"
she said with a surprised smile. Her voice was still warm and kind despite everything.
"It's been a while. You don't know how shocked I was when I saw you on television."
I walked over and placed the snacks on the table near her bed.
"Hello, Mrs. Solace. I just wanted to visit. I brought you some things that are supposed to help with recovery."
"Oh, sweetheart, you didn't have to do that."
She reached out with trembling hands and touched mine.
I pulled up a chair and sat beside her. The silence between us was heavy, but not uncomfortable. It was filled with everything we weren't saying.
She was the one to break it.
"You look even prettier than the last time I saw you."
It had been exactly nine months since I last came here. A long time.
"I can't believe you still remember me, Mrs. Solace."
"How could I not? There was no one else who visited me with as much kindness and grace as you."
I blushed at her praise.
"I didn't do anything, ma'am. I just wanted to show my thanks."
"Don't be silly. I know what you did. You helped us too. And I haven't even been able to say thank you, being stuck in this room."
"It's okay. I know what I gave wasn't much compared to what you needed."
"No, I need to thank you even more. For believing in my Zeke... Miss Saintess."
She said it like a joke, trying to lighten the mood.
I gagged at the sound of it.
I can't believe she heard about that ridiculous nickname!
She burst into laughter at my reaction.
"I see the headlines. I hear the nurses talking outside my door when they think I'm asleep."
She paused, her smile softening.
"And I hear what they say about my boy. They're turning him into something he's not. But you... you tried to defend him."
She looked at me, her eyes full of emotion.
"So I should thank you. You saw him beyond what people say. You looked for the real him. You even came to see me."
Her voice lowered.
"I'm grateful there's still someone he can trust, despite everything."
Each word she spoke filled me with guilt. I wasn't the person she believed I was. I hadn't helped him. I didn't even have the strength to fight back when the vice president slapped me. I had been consumed by fear and rejection.
"Say, Viola… can I ask you something?"
"What is it, ma'am?"
Her expression turned tender.
"Can you be a friend to Ezekiel? Someone who'll comfort him when I'm gone?"
I was startled and afraid by her words.
"Please don't say that. You're going to get better. You'll be the one taking care of Ezekiel."
She smiled faintly.
"I know my own body. Ezekiel thinks he only has me, that's why he's tried so hard to save me. But things have changed. Now there's you. You believe in him."
"No."
I suddenly stood up, shouting before I could stop myself.
I couldn't let her say those things. I didn't want her to give up on living. I wanted her to find strength to keep going, for Ezekiel's sake.
She blinked in surprise.
"Oh my, is it because you don't like my son?"
"It's not like that. I just don't think I'm the right person for that."
"Alright. I won't push you. That was a bit much of me,"
she said warmly.
I sat back down and asked if she wanted a snack.
She nodded, and I helped her. While we ate, we fell into easy conversation again. She led most of it.
I guessed she was lonely. She probably just wanted someone to talk to.
But I also enjoyed her stories. They were mostly about Ezekiel, but I didn't mind. She looked genuinely happy when she talked about him. Her eyes were so warm whenever she reminisced about their family and how happy they used to be.
Anyone who saw her would know she wasn't lying.
And slowly, I warmed up to him even more.
I even found myself thinking he was kind of cute, despite how terrifying he had seemed at first. Hearing stories about him from Rebecca made him feel real.
From that day on, I kept visiting her whenever I could. I continued helping with their medical expenses too. It wasn't out of kindness or compassion. It was guilt. Guilt that I hadn't done more to help him, guilt that I had watched him be trampled by the world.
And every time I left, I left something behind for him. A letter. A gift. A sticky note.
It was the least I could do.
I kept it up for a year. And not once did I meet him. Not even once.
Was he really that busy? Or was he avoiding me?
Either way, it was fine. I was content just admiring him from afar. I dedicated myself to supporting him. Even if I couldn't use my official account, I could still make a dummy one.
My username was ezekielsfollower101.
There, I fought like crazy to defend him, even when people bashed me for it.
I wouldn't forget about him again. He was the reason I was still alive and breathing.
I wouldn't let them tarnish my savior anymore.
Though, sometimes, I worried I was going overboard.
I had become like a fanatic, watching my idol from a distance.
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[Ezekielsfollower101 posted]
barbilat444 (replied): NO WAY. YOU'RE CRAZY.
Tung2XD (replied): ( ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°) Masochist?
lebrowny70#4 (replied): I hope you die I hope you die I hope you die I hope you die I hope you die.
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Blog Title: "Why Ezekiel Solace Should Be Executed"
Ezekielsfollower101 (replied): He looks cute in the picture you used here.
lemonezquezy882 [author] (replied): 凸( •̀_•́ )凸
alibwabwa-0wu (replied): Get out of here, you mental case!
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Blog Title: "Evidence Why Ezekiel Is Innocent of the Accusations"
Blog by Ezekielsfollower101
kittycatastrophe3 (replied): Lies. Probably made up.
Ezekielsfollower101 [author] (replied): I hired a private investigator for this. I can post the rest of the files.
lordofmystereels (replied): We don't trust this.
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Suit yourself, you m@xx#4@3#43xs!!!!!