"Alright, hit me." I quietly mutter, staring at my two cards.
Two of spades, and eight of hearts. Ten in total, a hits what I need.
The green-haired woman, a dealer, slides me another card. Flipping it over reveals a five of spades. Fifteen.
"Stand." Aza hums, seemingly content with her cards.
Ah, shit.
The dealer reveals her secret, turning it face up. It's a nine of hearts, so nineteen.
"Hah." Aza declares, throwing her cards on the table, revealing a total of twenty. She swiftly takes her share, leaning across the table in the process. She then quickly hordes the entire thing, smiling.
Damn it…
This sense of loss. It's consuming my body, slowly and slowly. Yet, a part of me wants to continue playing, despite knowing the risk. It's like I can't stop, no matter what I do.
If lose one more game, Suzui-kun's going to stay a house pet for the rest of his life! But still, I'm getting excited…
I open my mouth as I begin laughing, clenching my—
"Wait, wait, who the hell is Suzui!?"
"And why am I playing blackjack with an Eldritch god?!"
"I think the Kagekuri reference is a bigger elephant…"
A finger flings its way in the direction of the dealer.
"And who the hell is that!?"
"Substitute Soul Reaper, Kurosa–"
"My ass!!"
"Hit!" Aza yells.
"She's still playing!!"
I sigh. Making a fuss about the events unfolding right now isn't gonna make it any clearer. At this point, I haven't even noticed my new duo of cards, which add up to a fourteen.
"Hit."
"Wait, you're like, basically omniscient, can't you tell what cards the dealer has?"
"No, I would never stoop that low! That would defeat the purpose of a game, silly!"
"Oh."
Yeah, the concept of a game is mostly based on the fact that you don't know what's going to happen, leading to that surge of dopamine. I don't think Aza is the type to cheat, despite having full ability to do so. It shows that even in positions of power, those within it can still stoop lower to give the weak a 'fighting chance'.
My eyes move from my cards towards her body.
"She's peeking!!"
I sigh loudly, once again.
Well, mostly given the fact that I've gone over the limit. My cards have betrayed me, the bouts of luck emanating from my form slowly dying. I lost again.
"You can call her Lily. She's more or less my attempt of making me some company here."
Aza says, leaning over the table. Lily shuffles the cards once again. While doing so, she smiles at me, giving a small wave. Her green hair is long, flowing, accentuated by her bright yellow eyes that seem to glow. I'd be lying If I said she wasn't attractive.
I turn to Aza.
"Huh? So she's not real?"
The shuffling sounds suddenly stop for a moment, before returning. Aza gives me a concerned look for a moment before drooping down to the table.
"She might be my creation, but she'd act the same way as any girl."
"Huh. How come I never noticed her?"
Aza turns to Lily, seemingly directing my question towards her. She want's her to answer that question instead of herself.
"I was kind of nervous, to be honest." She shuffles the cards. "I'm obviously… A fake human, so seeing an actual one filled me with a sense of what I can describe as inferiority."
Despite her completely stupid joke earlier, she seems like a clear-cut, average girl. The type of girl who'd make the dumbest jokes, yet be smart all the same. Don't ask me how I've made this entire evaluation out of just one interaction alone.
I nod understandingly as Lily slides me and Aza our cards.
I've got twenty. Lucky.
"As for playing blackjack, we've been playing for the past three hours, how'd you forget already?" Aza comments, glancing at her cards.
"Yeah, now I'm remembering."
"Mhm. To be honest, as we play, I'm reading your memories of the events after we last saw each other. This way, I'll be updated on your situation without needing you to explain it."
"Hit." She adds.
"Stand." I proclaim.
"I don't know how to feel about the whole 'seeing my memories thing', but I guess it's okay." I say as the thought of what we're even playing for hit's me.
She's won again and grabs her share of chips.
"What's the score anyway?" I ask, scratching my head.
"90-4"
"Kh. What are we even playing for?"
The girl stops in her tracks for a moment, holding up a chip, dangling it in between her knuckles. The slight confusion in her face catches me offguard.
"I don't know, chips? Bragging rights?"
My eyebrow twitches.
Sensing my disdain, Aza nodes towards Lily, who swiftly takes the cards, shuffles them into place, and puts them inside her pocket. Then, with a bow, she seemingly walks away into nothingness.
By the way, we're still in that above-water-under-a-giant-floating-castle place. But somehow playing black jack there is the most out of place thing there. The table's insanely small, not to mention.
"Three hours, ugh, that's like no time in the real world. When am I gonna wake up?"
"No Idea, but I can put you to sleep if you'd like."
Suddenly, the world goes dark, pitch black. The only thing that now remains is this table, which has somehow morphed into a Tatami table. Also, somehow, we're both kneeling now.
"Wait, before that, I've got a few questions." I lean back, resting on my hands. My gaze fixates on the girl. Her white form actually contrasts fairly well with the background, something to my interest.
"Go ahead."
"Well, it's about DD. I've actually told multiple people about it, but they somehow never pry any further. It happened a while back, but for some reason, the questions lingered at the front of my head."
"It's most likely a Recreant Truth."
"?"
"It's a simple curse, one that turns the words of one that are 'true', to 'false'."
I'm obviously shocked at the existence of curses, but the functions of this one particularly pique my curiosity.
"I'm not sure I completely understand…"
"Alright, let's take this scenario: I'm capable of balancing a book on my nose. I then go ahead and tell someone that I'm capable of doing so. What the curse does is that it turns that fact into a 'lie'. The person will not believe me, even if I were to balance the book on my nose in front of them.."
"What? So you're saying no matter who I tell about my ability, they'll never believe me?"
"Yes, even if you were to recite events perfectly, and they were to happen as you said. From their perspective, it is along the lines of you saying you were a giant pink elephant. They wouldn't believe you, even if they were loyal to the point of giving their lives up to you."
A chill runs down my spine.
"Their perception is altered…" I mutter. "It doesn't matter how many times I say it, no one will ever believe me…"
"Well, don't despair. You've got me!"
"No offense, but you're…"
"Just something pretending to be human. Was that what you were going to say?"
"..."
"No offense is taken. It's completely normal to want someone like you to be around and understand what you're going through. Unfortunately, I can never understand your plights. Fundamentally, your struggles are… beneath me, in the least offensive way."
That's right, she may appear as human, act as human, but she's anything but. She's just a creature beyond comprehension, appealing to my circumstances. When it comes to empathy, I'm completely in the dark, my only source of light being an lightbulb, not the sun. I'm being tricked into feeling something towards this being.
But in a way, I'm glad she's constantly reminding me. To avoid falling in love or anything of the sort. I cannot offer the weakest parts of me to this existence. Or rather, would it have any effect regardless of whether I did?
Whatever, feelings aside, none of this matters. If I want to be the best version of myself, the strongest, then pain is only natural.
Yet…
"Is there a way?" She suddenly asks.
"What?"
"Nothing."
"Whatever, I've got a question."
"Go ahead." The girl smiles.
"How exactly do you expect me to destroy all of this world's… Celestials? I'm just one guy, and it's not like I have an entourage of people around me that'll follow me to the very end. Hell, I'm a slave."
The girl goes silent, tapping at her chin and staring into the void. Once again, she's playing up this aloof-girl persona, constantly exaggerating the most basic movements. The demeanour on my face is the exact opposite of hers.
"Kaito, why do humans value life?"
"That's a weirdly deep question to ask out of nowhere."
"Most people are not seeking truth; they are searching for comfort in illusions." She mutters.
"Quoting random philosophers doesn't make you seem smarter."
"Ah, just answer the question."
My gaze travels upwards as I sink deep into thought. Actually, I'm not. It's kind of a straightforward answer, well, at least for myself. The question itself begs for a subjective answer. Everyone has a different set of values and core principles, so asking them to answer a question that represents humanity as a whole is nearly impossible.
"Well, I think it's because you can die."
"Correct!"
She moves her hand toward me, palm open. It finally hits me that she's actually waiting for me to give her a high five. I glance at my hand, a little confused. Then awkwardly move my palm towards hers, giving her the most dead high five I've ever seen.
She then folds her arms.
"The word 'value' is usually given to things that can disappear, perhaps forever. As such, human lives hold value because they can die, hence 'ending'." She raises a finger.
"That's the keyword, 'End.'"
"Because humans' deaths serve as an end that can never be restored, they value their lives. Perhaps not all the time, but in a general sense, they do. When you 'die', you can never come back to life. Everything you possessed is lost permanently. That is what gives value to human life."
"Now, forgive me, as you might take this the wrong way. What I am going to say is based on a purely logical sense, my vision."
A dreadful feeling of what is going to be said suddenly enters my body.
"Does your life have value, Kaito?"
She says such a thing so casually.
My gaze suddenly travels down. Whether because of shame, I cannot tell.
"Human lives have value because they can be lost permanently."
"—But what about in the case of a human that can essentially return to life, with everything they lost?"
My hands grip tightly on the sleeves of my pants, the fabric creasing around my fingers.
"Again, this is a purely logical question with no intent of harming your vision of self-worth. I am not attempting to use you for any kind of selfish purpose, preying on that perception of self-worth. I am merely asking you to contemplate this question."
Her voice is cold, devoid of any emotion. The chill had spread without my knowledge, and I couldn't speak because of that lack of warmth.
"This mission I have handed you is merely a way for me to steer you in the direction of purpose. I am giving your life meaning. I know your goal, to be strong, to have power.."
She places a hand on the floor and moves her body forward towards me.
"You want to be strong, so what better way than to utilize this gift? This gift was given to you for a reason, so take advantage of that fact."
She crawls towards me.
"I am giving you a purpose, a direction to head in. I am the only one who understands you, even past the fact of not being human. I can provide you with only the truth and logistics. Things that you do not know about this world."
She's only a few inches away from me.
"Verily, thou will find this reality most pleasing."
Her left hand makes contact with my face. It's cold, too cold. Nonetheless, despite the fact that it is a cold hand, it is still touching me.
A right hand is placed onto my chest. Strange, inhuman.
Then, with a push, I slowly lay down onto the floor, my expression remaining the same. I can only stare back and contemplate the words that were previously planted into my brain to grow. Perhaps I'm in some kind of daze, forced to listen.
The only thing in my field of view is its face, staring right back. Red eyes adorn pale skin, which both glister like rubies. The silver hair cascades downwards, lightly brushing against my skin. Breathing is slightly audible as well.
The body is now seated on top of mine, with its alternative hand still against my cheek.
"I get what you're saying." I finally mutter.
The hand caresses my face slowly.
"Even if I were to object to you, I'd still end up just staring at the crossroads again. I'd have no goal."
"You understand perfectly. I am giving you purpose, while simultaneously helping you achieve your dream."
"And the best part..?"
Aza's mouth slowly trails towards my left ear. A slow collaboration of her muscles, all working in tandem to make this motion. Her breathing is even more audible now. Yet despite all this, there is no warmth whatsoever.
"It'll be easy."
She whispers in my ear.
It'll be easy.
Easy.
I'd like it to be as easy as possible.
Yeah, I hate reality. Why can't we just make our dreams come true easily? Why does it all need to be so hard?
Her head finally returns to its original position, directly above mine. Her hand slowly slides over my mouth, covering it fully. Her face then inches closer to mine, closer, closer.
"If you're ever feeling lost, Kaito, I'll be here."
Then, her lips make contact with her hands, the only thing separating my lips from hers.
And the world goes dark.
____________________________________________________________________________
Aza stared at the unconscious boy.
"A Hypocritical Narcissist." She mused, tracing her finger across his chest.
"Any creature with the most basic of morals would denounce you and call you disgusting."
"But I am not, and due to that fact, I find you incredibly interesting to watch."
____________________________________________________________________________
"I am incredibly grateful to every single one of you." Kyros bowed. His hands were at his sides.
"Especially you, Ms. Highergald. Thank you for properly explaining what I should have done with my people from the start."
The light from the sun casts a brilliant, glossy shine on the forest. As a result, the shadows of the leaves belonging to trees are spread along the ground, covering everything. A luminate color of green explodes in all directions, save for the cave entrance of course.
Right now, Kyros and Navi are standing on front of me, along with the rest of Sable Veil. Behind Sable Veil is an entire army's worth of— what's the word— Sapients. All of whom were gazing at the blue sky painted along the roof of the world with clouds lazily trotting along.
Some were crying, while some laid on the ground and hugged the grass as if it would return the gesture. Some were even dancing together and holding hands. It was needless to say that this was clearly a momentous occasion.
When I woke up from my… dream, I found myself being carried by this caravan of people on a stretcher. Apparently, they had carried me the same amount of time it took to get down to the village, which was days. I made sure that my gratitude towards them was felt, in the form of many thanks, and assisting with what little luggage they had.
But what now matters is that we're all out of that oppressive environment. These people were slaves, and deserve more than anything to see the sun again.
"It's no problem." I chuckle, scratching the back of my head.
Navi nods.
As for Kyros, he deserves a community that can hold hands together and face trials head-on. A tight-knit community that would never go against each other and would remain loyal to the very end.
The poor guy even went with us and took this several-day trip, just to see us out.
Ever since the death of Tyrox, the colosseum collapsed, along with the entire infrastructure of the goblins' way of life. The colosseum, a structure built for bloodshed and murder, was destroyed, signifying the goblin's chance to once again move past those ways.
There wasn't any grand apology from the goblins at all, but Kyros had insisted that he was confident in teaching them once again. But this time, giving them the gift of choice.
"No, it very much was a problem for you. You did not have to go out of your way to delve into such a deep hole, yet you did. You all did not have to risk your lives, but still did so."
The words make me bite my bottom lip for a moment, but not for the reason one would think.
"It makes me terribly sad that no matter what I can do for you, it will never properly represent the amount of gratitude I have."
Kors takes a step forward towards the goblin. He then places a firm hand on his shoulder.
"You can live alongside us one day to show your thankfulness. You must work hard, Kyros. You can change your people and the perception around them. Then one day, may we live in harmony together."
"To that future." I smile.
The goblin nods.
"Yes, to that future."
"..."
His gaze travels downwards.
Before returning back up, a renewed fire in his face.
"I must go now. There are many plans I have for the future."
Navi points behind him. It's into the same cave we had encountered him, sobbing in silence, in agony. He had wanted to end his life and run away from all of it. But now, he stood tall and confident, ready to face the challenges ahead. This was no longer Kyros the Goblin, only Kyros.
"Don't keep the future waiting, Kyros." Navi Highergald utters.
The goblin nods once again before turning around.
"We shall see each other one day."
Then, with a powerful step, he leaps back into the cave, waving back at his heroes. After a few moments, Kyros the Protector is gone, traveling back to his people. The rest of the world will not see him resurface for a long time, but when he does, he will be completely different.
Everyone's smiling, all happy for the goblin.
Though Me, I'm different all the same. Something is constantly scratching my brain.
Did I really help him for the right reasons? Were my intentions pure? I shake my head.
No, this all resulted in something positive at the end, so I don't have to worry about the small things like intentions. He's improving upon his people, and that's what matters.
A hand suddenly grasps my shoulder. This action prompts me to turn my head around. The stranger is none other than Wall, whose got the whitest smile I've ever seen on anyone before. Stiyl stands next to him with his hands on his waist. A smile is still present, yes, but not to the same pedigree as his contemporary.
"Well, Liddy, we'll both be heading out!" The white-haired man declares.
Something different catches my eye. On his neck is an unfamiliar accessory that was not there previously. As my head moves down, it picks up on a completely different outfit on him. The most prevalent color is a powerful white, accented with a strong gold. As for Stiyl, the main color is also white, accented with a deep purple.
Their outfits are seemingly knightly in nature, yet have an equal amount of loose fabric. Wall's got an open half cape with a strange gold insignia in the form of a shield, covering his right side. The rest of his bodied his tightly fitted by white, nearly silver armor with accents of black. There's also a strange box-shaped container hanging on his side.
Stiyl has the same cape, complete with the insignia. His purple takes advantage of this time, overpowering the black accents present in his armor, which has a lighter feel to it.
Somehow strangely enough, the members of Sable Veil turn their heads in the opposite direction, all pushing up the masks adorned on their faces. I get the impression that they're probably embarrassed, given the fact that they're mercenaries in black, and these guys are…
What are these guys…?
"Where are you guys heading to?"
"Well, to Vultia. We're Paladins after all."
"Paladins?"
"Yep, to none other than Heavenrend."
"Is that some kind of organization?"
Wall looks at me, dumbfounded, then gazes at Stiyl, who looks equally as shocked.
I have a feeling this is like the equivalent of not knowing what the U.S is. It's most probably a giant organization, judging by these two's reactions towards me. Well, pretending I suddenly know the name isn't gonna do me that much good at this point, despite how tempted I am.
Stiyl shakes his head.
"Well, Amatsurans tend to keep to themselves, so we shouldn't be that surprised."
His gaze travels to me, an understanding look present.
"Heavenrend is the… what's a good word… guard to Vult's Monarchs."
I nod, understanding completely everything that just left his mouth. Just kidding, I didn't understand crap. I internally sigh. I really need a notebook to write all this stuff down. Well, maybe over time as I live here, I'll pick up on all these things.
When I used to consume entertainment, the concept of worldbuilding to me was always foreign, really. I didn't care too much about the detailed superficial things of that nature. What I cared about were the characters, how cool they were, and what they did. So you can imagine how it feels, actually being in one of these 'fantasy' worlds and being thrust with new information around every corner.
"It's going to be really fun explaining how two Paladins got caught up in a goblin nest." Stiyl sighs, crossing his arms.
"We'll just say we got caught offguard by a Nuckelavee and some freaky goblin hybrid.
"That seems reasonable—"
"Then a giant wyvern swooped down and crowned me king, so I used my—"
"Is resisting the urge to lie equivalent to holding a plank for you?!"
These guys are a real hoot, that's for sure.
Wall finishes his charade before turning to me.
"You really helped out a lot, though, Kaito. Without you…"
My ears perk up.
" —We would have been totally fine, but thanks for making the process faster."
A small hope dies within, its flames of ambition being swiftly extinguished. I don't think I'll recover from this, ever.
Suddenly, Wall digs into his pocket, shuffling his hands around. To my surprise, he reveals the same shield insignia on his clothes, this time as a physical item. Is this a badge of sorts?
A glint from the sunlight flashes quickly.
"If you're looking to join Heavenrend, you can turn in this to any VDC recruiting office. While you'll still have to go through VC training, you'll immediately head into the lowest rank of Heavenrend. Maybe even as a member of the Round Table, if you're lucky."
Aughh, no matter how many times my brain skims through the words in that sentence— Wait. Did he just say round table, as in the Arthurian legend? At least that I can understand. Well, that and also the fact that if I turned this thing in, I'd be able to join Heavenrend.
Wall suddenly leans in next to my ear, whispering.
"If a slave joins the VC, their freedom is granted."
He then steps backward into place, a smile present on his lips.
"If it were up to me, we'd take you back with us, but we're going to be cutting through Void country, so.."
I nod, taking the badge. Raising it up towards the sun, I examine it as I turn it around. The craftsmanship on this is actually fairly astounding. Along the edges of the shield, strange symbols are carved along it, each one being smaller than the last. Something like this can only be done by a laser or something. Nonetheless, it's impressive.
These guys want me to join them, something that seems awesome in retrospect. I get to join a group of holy knights, and maybe even meet King Arthur!
Does King Arthur happen to be a girl by any chance?
I shake my head.
The most important thing, however, is that I'll be free. This collar on my neck'll be just a figment of the past, lying somewhere else, rotting away. I won't be tied to a mercenary group, forced to do their dirty work. I won't have to sign my life away.
Yet, despite all the positives, there's one thing.
I clench the charm in my hand and close my eyes before taking a deep breath.
"Sorry, Wall, but I can't join."
His eyebrows raise before he takes a deeper look at me. I can almost see his eyes behind the shades. However, a smile crosses his features, signifying what I was feeling at that moment.
I don't want to be signed off with anyone else. I want to be strong alone. Furthermore, I alone will be better, and no one will be better than I. That's my goal. If I join a military organization, I'll be forever tied to it. I don't want to sign myself to everyone who offers me something, even if they're my closest friends.
"...Maybe one day I'll change my mind, but I'm not looking for that kind of thing in my life right now. I'll definitely keep it on me, though."
These are words to soften the blow of my refusal, a fact that everyone there knows. Whether it's an unspoken rule or not, nobody breaks the pretense of agreement. Stiyl taps his partner's shoulder, then jerks his head in the direction behind them.
"We'll be heading out now." Stiyl declares. "Make sure you guide these Varos townsfolk back to their homes. Surprisingly, all of them are residents."
"Mm."
The two of them raise their hands, their palms open. I respond swiftly by clasping Wall's right hand with my right, and Stiyl's with my left. The sound rings out through the forest, and I swear I see some birds in the distance scatter.
"I've got a strong feeling we'll see each other again." Wall grins. "It's my precognition ability."
I nod, grinning just as bright.
Then, with that gesture, the two of them turn around and give a final wave goodbye. After a few moments, their figures disappear into the forest, gone until the next time I see them. It's really crazy, honestly.
In this world, people who share a life and death experience with you are nothing more than strangers who'll part from you without a single thought. I'm not saying Wall and Stiyl are strangers, but I think you understand what I mean. We're leaving each other like we just finished a movie and are all departing from the theater. It's so mundane, casual, as if nothing had happened. Maybe for the denizens of this world this is normal. But not for me.
I kind of find it interesting. The idea that if someone went through some crazy stuff, they don't have to latch onto it for the rest of their life. Sometimes, you just need to let go and move on. It doesn't matter if it's life-changing. The thing is with humans is that we all go back to bed, wake up the next day, eat, go to school/work, and repeat.
But I find that lifestyle to be exceptionally boring. It's one of the reasons why I hate reality so much. You're expected to somehow fit into that life. Perhaps other people like it, and I'm not saying they shouldn't, but I personally hate it.
I place the item in my back pocket. Speaking of pockets, I've changed my clothes back to the attire I had before getting captured. Not that it's any better, honestly. I really need better clothes if I'm going to be in situations like these all the time.
Turning around, I catch a glimpse of Sable Veil, who has finally removed their masks. They seem to be taking a breath of fresh air. Was it from before?
I turn to Arivia.
"Why're you guys so nervous? Were they your enemies or something?"
"No, no!" Arivia laughs, waving a hand dismissively.
"Why would they ever be a danger to us?" Asakawa chimes in.
"We are friends with all those around us," Kors adds.
Navi stays silent.
"…"
"I'd believe you if you all weren't staring at the ground…"
" —…"
"Hey, hey!! What's casting that shadow over your faces!?"