Nothing beats a good shower to set you right.
After a tough day, a shower's always been the best way to recharge my soul.
I step out, towel wrapped around me, feeling refreshed and content.
'Alright, let's check my messages.'
I grab my phone from my desk and settle comfortably on the edge of my bed.
Seeing my inbox, I can't help but grin with pure delight.
Messages galore.
It's been over a week since my high school life began. And despite that nuisance, I've found my groove.
It took me just three days to get everyone's number in class, and I already know a ton of secrets.
[SGS (Secret Girl's Space) Members: 19
Arisa: Hey girls!
Ruri: Evening, Arisa-chan!
Arisa: Where's everyone else?
Ruri: Maybe still in study groups…
Sana: Yo girls! Seriously, it's 9 p.m. You think groups are still meeting now?
Ruri: From what Satō-chan said, their group leader's a tyrant.
Rina: Can confirm. Just got out of ours.
Sana: For real?
Kei: Evening, everyone.
Kei: Yukimura-san's intense. Glad I'm not in his group.
Arisa: Hey Karuizawa-chan!
Chiyo: You guys see the time? Some of us want to sleep.
Sana: Tomorrow's Sunday, so who cares?
Ruri: Totally! It's our only day off.
Ruri: Now that I think about it, don't group leaders work on Sundays too?
Kokoro: Yo!
Kokoro: Yup, they meet to review the week's sessions.
Ruri: I feel bad for them.
…]
I'm in the girls' group chat for our class.
Karuizawa and I came up with the idea. She didn't want to spill everything in the main class chat. Since I'm in charge of that one, she suggested a girls-only group, which I happily agreed to. What's better than a private circle for juicy secrets?
[SGS (Secret Girl's Space) Members: 19
Me: Hey girls!
Me: How'd your study sessions go?
Sana: Yo Kikyō!
Ruri: Hey!
Maya: Hi Kikyō!
Maya: Like Kikuchi-chan said, it was hell. Can't we switch group leaders?
Arisa: Hey Kikyō!
Ruri: Mine was fine. Hirata-kun's a great teacher.
Maya: Yukimura-kun's good too. Just way too intense…
Arisa: I'm good.
Me: Glad to hear things are going well!
Me: Guess the others are already asleep, huh?
Rina: I get why my group's out. Surprised you're still up, Satō-chan.
Maya: Had to hit my bed before sleep ditched me.
Kokoro: Welcome to the club.
Ruri: Kikyō, shouldn't you sleep early since you've got a leaders' meeting tomorrow?
Me: Yeah, but I wanted to check in with everyone first.
Kei: You, seriously.
Kei: Always thinking of others.
Arisa: Don't corrupt Kikyō!
Kei: ??
Kokoro: You're amazing, Kikyō.
Me: Alright, I'm off. Night, friends!
Ruri: Night.
Arisa: Night!!
…]
'An angel, huh?'
Yup, that's me. I care about everyone and aim to please them all. What else could I be but an angel?
I was about to put my phone down when I noticed a notification from another group.
[— Group Leaders ⚜🤴✍👨🏫⚜—
Rokusuke: Evening, all. Leaders' meeting tomorrow, 9 a.m., library.
Me: Evening. Got it, I'll be there!]
'Guess he's still up too.'
Kōenji Rokusuke. If I had to rank my classmates, he'd be at the top. Not only did he establish himself as our class rep, but he also got the whole class to agree to study groups in our first month. He's got it all. The perfect guy, basically.
As much as it irks me, I can't deny his superiority.
'Can't wait to find out what you're hiding.'
No matter how perfect someone seems, there's always a dark side. I'm sure our dear rep's no exception.
I put my phone back on my desk and slip into my pajamas.
Time to sleep.
*
"Kōenji-kun, I gotta ask… is it true you can read people's personalities from their faces?"
This question's been nagging me. It sounds absurd, but the guy in front of me is absurdity incarnate.
"Yes. Why ask, Kushida-chan? Doubting me?"
Is he serious?
I can't believe he's claiming he can do it. Looking into his eyes, I see total confidence.
But if it's true… then…
No, impossible. Otherwise, why… Ugh, might as well ask!
"N-no… Just…"
I can't get it out. My mouth clamps shut.
My heart's pounding so hard my vision tinges red.
"What's wrong, Kushida? You seem off."
You're really asking what's wrong? If you know who I am, then…
Oh, I get it—he's bluffing. No way he can read minds. How did I even consider that? Chill, Kushida, you're stressing too much.
But I can't stay quiet. Let's wrap this up and rest.
"Kōenji-kun, what do you know about me?"
It's more for reassurance than anything.
Obviously, he doesn't know the real me. No way he would, or he wouldn't look at me like that. Unless… he's like me?
What am I saying? Here comes his answer. Probably something like I'm an extroverted, overly open girl, hinting at a need for affection. Nothing special—anyone who's read a bit of psych would say that.
"You're a psychopath, Kushida. That's what I know."
…
I black out for a second—maybe longer, I don't know.
Did I hear that right?
"Kōenji-kun? I… I don't understand…"
My thoughts spill into words, my confusion overwhelming. Why's he saying this?
"You take pleasure in making friends not because you love being surrounded, but to feel known and loved."
What's this? What's happening? How?
"The more you're loved, the more secrets you can collect, which is your real thrill. You couldn't control things in middle school, so you switched schools—ideally one where your old acquaintances wouldn't be."
Wait, wait, wait…
"I call you a psychopath because of that mask you maintain constantly. Like now. You're probably in total confusion and panic from my words, but your face stays poised and normal. That's terrifying."
"Shut up."
Those are my words.
I can't believe I just said that to him. When was the last time I spoke so raw?
I look into his eyes. He doesn't seem fazed by what I said. If anything…
He smiles.
"What's so funny?"
I'm genuinely pissed.
Why won't fate let me have peace? Why? Why?
"I'm surprised you didn't try to deny it."
I could've, yeah. But you read me so well, I couldn't keep up the act.
"Kōenji-kun."
I slip back into my mask.
We're in a library. This is risky.
"I want to know what you expect from me."
No point asking how he knows. Though I refuse to believe he reads minds, the fact that he sees my true self means he must have. How else?
But is that even humanly possible? Sure, mentalists claim they can, but most are frauds who just read body language well.
Knowing that, I perfected my mask. Did I slip up somewhere?
No. I'm certain I've only shown the ideal me.
So how did he know?
"Good question, Kushida," he replies. "I just want you to keep being the masked you."
Huh?
Sensing my inner confusion, he continues: "You have a remarkable, if unsettling, ability to touch anyone's heart and make them a friend—or at least earn their respect. That talent will be useful for the years we spend here."
"That's why you've let me do what I want so far."
He nods.
"Then you know about Horikita too, don't you?"
It'd be absurd if he didn't.
"Indeed, I know the baseless hatred you have for her."
Baseless? Is he mocking me? You…
"From what I can tell, Horikita has no intention of spilling your past to anyone. If you want my opinion, she doesn't care about you."
What's he meddling in? Of course I know that ego-driven bitch won't reveal my secret. The problem is…
"But you already know that."
His words cut through my thoughts.
"What bothers you is her existence, reminding you of the past you want to forget and the constant risk of facing it again because of her. Am I wrong?"
He's really reading my mind.
"Now with you, that makes two thorns in my side."
I tell him.
I thought I just had to deal with one bitch, but now I've got a damn mentalist to handle too.
"I don't care about your past."
He shoots back.
What guarantees that? You know your disappearance would be the best outcome.
"The masked Kushida interests me, and I want to work with her. As for Horikita, I'll keep an eye on her if you want."
He extends his hand.
"Let's work together, Kushida."
You… Die, die, die. That superior look. I know it well. It's the gaze of someone who dominates others.
And the one field I took pride in, he's stolen. I loved holding others' secrets, but now he holds mine.
My fists clench. I'm furious, but also defeated.
Why can't I thrive anywhere? Why?
I grab my stuff and leave. No way I'm shaking your hand, asshole.
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