Dude: this freakin pen doesn't work. the ink is even still there. it doesn't make any sense. did i get ripped off.
Dasch: what's the big deal. just use another pen. don't you have another pen. don't waste time on that one stupid pen.
Dude: you see. this is not just a stupid pen. i didn't just pay for this pen so that i can't use it because it breaks. i also liked writing with this pen. this is the pen that can finish whatever i was writing. my writing is not going to complete without it. my writing will be betrayed if it doesn't finish with its original companion.
Dasch: dude. you speak as if this pen was something alive. i don't think that's a good idea. otherwise you're gonna be attached to it as you would be with real human beings.
Dude: you know what. that's exactly right. and what i mean is this. i'm not actually attached to that many people aside from ones that really matter. this pen matters to me. so whether it's a person or not, i care that it works. this pen not working is like it has lost it's life. i want to recover it somehow. however, i don't think in all common sense there is a doctor of any kind for a pen like this.
Dasch: i can't stop you from being obsessed with that pen of yours. i'm sorry that there doesn't seem to be any healer to resuscitate that pen. it actually does suck that you did not get to use it to its fullest. the ink in there is now going to be wasted.
Dude: that's what i'm saying. it's like it had more to give. it's like a car not moving with fuel still in it. i cannot just let it be this way just because it's not a car. in fact, i don't even have a car and this pen is worth more than any stupid cars out there causing traffic or taking away innocent lives on highways.
Dasch: you know that might be a little overstatement on cars. there are definitely cars innocent of accusations you have just made. think of ambulances or helicopters that carry patients to emergency rooms in hospitals. i mean, yes, helicopter is not a car so that may not count but still. the point is that you cannot just demonize cars just because you love your pen so much. you know actually, i'm pretty sure there are pens that are as deadly as cars that caused casualties.
Dude: i swear my pen has never ever done any harm to anyone during its lifetime. this pen isn't a sword or even a weapon. i use it just for writing on a paper. i cannot speak for all the pens in this universe that have ever been in association with any kinds of crime. yet, this pen of mine has no such criminal history and has a clean record of being a loyal writing assistant.
Dasch: well. you see. you might be missing something though. that is. your pen has been stabbing your paper all this time. have you ever thought about their feelings. you know after all, they are essentially trees turned into planes. your writing is basically hurting those trees. it's being scratched and chiseled in all combinations thereof in english. they're getting tattooed against their will. how would you feel if some random tattooist start inscribing random words and symbols on your skin?
Dude: well, here's what i can say. these papers or trees are here because they want to be written. if they so much resisted, they would not stand being inked by my pen. you see, it is blank because it has let itself open and available so that i can skate over it with my pen however i want.
Dasch: i don't know how you can be so sure that just because they are blank they are agreeing to be written over. that's just an assumption you're making easily so that you can justify your daily violence on these papers. you're putting words into their mouths because they cannot speak for themselves.
Dude: well, you are doing the same thing. aren't you? you don't know what their real feelings and situation is when it comes to being written. like you said, they don't speak. you cannot be their spokesperson. so you cannot assume there victims and i am assaulting them.
Dasch: okay fair. we don't know what they feel. but does that mean you can still write on them without knowing their feeling.
Dude: well, let's go back to the previous. you said that it's not a good idea to think of my pen as a sort of living thing. but how come this time, you do exactly the contrary by imagining that these papers have feelings or sentience? how come you are not consistent this time?
Dasch: well, in reverse. i thought you would of course consider these papers to have life of their own since you were treating your pen like a living companion to your writing. then, shouldn't the papers also considered to be your companions as well? why would you discriminate against papers but only endear the pen? that's a biased love towards the pen. it's not fair.
Dude: i never said that papers are not my companions. they of course have much contribution to my writing process as my pen that's now broken. in fact, i would say these papers are more alive than my pen since they are still there as they have been. it's just that my pen out of blue stopped working. the ink isn't coming out.
Dasch: i don't know man. you know. actually, it's your writing. not mine. afterall. i don't know why i have to have so much nose into your affairs. i guess it wasn't necessary. it's just that you bring up these topics and you get me all started.
Dude: anyhow. whatever you do. do you. i will do me. why don't you do your writing too. maybe, you will get to see what i mean. i mean good luck with gripping the pen. i won't meddle with you on that. you figure out how it can work out for you.
Dasch: you know what. that really sucks that there isn't a pen for dogs like me. it basically assumes that dogs aren't interested in writing at all. but what if i do want to write just like you. only paper i got is this pad i pee on. i don't know if that counts as writing. i actually want to write more than that. my peeing doesn't have much meaning or style either. what's the stupid point of writing on a peeing pad? i don't even know what i wrote and no one can even read it. not even myself. that's just nothing but piss dried on paper.
Dude: well. it does suck for you. it really does. i don't know if this will help you though. i write actually just much like i piss. listen carefully. i basically have no idea what or when to write. just like we don't know when and how much we are gonna pee. but when it does hit me, i just piss out on the paper until it stops. yes, i do have more control on how the piss gets shaped and all that. but all i am saying is that, writing is very much like pissing so don't worry that you're not too far from being a writer yourself. you cannot totally dismiss your writing career. just because you don't have right tools like i do. it's all inside you. the piss.
Dasch: to my surprise, that does give me some relief. even though i'm still unsatisfied with not having same access to writing as you do. so as you said, it's just pissing, nothing more elegant or special about it.
Dude: exactly. any piss is just piss. nothing greater or lesser. it's just gotta be written out when it's ready. you don't want to miss out when it's there cause sometimes it won't be there forever to be written. it may never come back. it's like waves of pissing urges that come and go.
Dasch: i will never be able to piss the way i always have been. i think i have already been converted to a writer. i cannot wait for my next round.
Dude: anyways, just don't piss anywhere because that's not a proper writing that's more like vandalizing with graffiti. you want your writing to be welcomed not hated for writing in an unwanted spot. so yes we may not control how or when we piss or write but we may have a good control over where we write. let's not forget that.
Dasch: i mean i do lack some space to write in my situation so. i am sorry but i think i might as well just start writing wherever i want. you know how i don't have the same writing resources as you do. i hope you will understand a fellow writer's poverty. right?
Dude: no once you go that route, i don't think our writer friendship will continue. please don't do that.
Dasch: i hope you can understand how desperate i am as a writer. i have no other option. good bye.
Dude: dude, no.
Dasch: sorry, yes. thanks for your advice to help me enter the writing world.
Dude: do not thank me in such wrong way. that is not how you show your gratitude.
Dasch: i will surely make debt of my gratitude to you public so that everyone knows about the humble origins of my writing career.
Dude: let me tell you what. there's perfect place for it. you can basically do it anywhere outside. just not do it at home.
Dasch: but how can i get out on my own. i cannot reach the damn door knob.
Dude: i hate to do this but what else can i do. i gotta walk you.
Dasch: damn. i never thought such day would come.
Dude: just tell me if you are gonna shit or not. i don't want to carry a plastic bag if you're not gonna shit.
Dasch: i think you should, i probably will shit. not promised though.
Dude: phew... okay.