Lu Heng couldn't help but laugh at the antics of the two troublemakers.
With the livestream drawing out their hidden talents, even if this were spliced into a fan-made video, it would blow up instantly. The contrast with their original personalities was just too stark.
Taking a sip of tea, Lu Heng said, "If you two keep rambling like this, we'll get nowhere even after half a day. How about we focus on the pulls first?"
"Oh, right! Almost forgot the main task!" Lumine quickly realized, scratching her cheek in embarrassment. "Guess my work habits are kicking in—sorry about that!"
Paimon: "…"
She could only sigh.
Somehow, no matter what happened, Lumine always found a way to dump the blame on her.
But that was fine. Next time, she'd make sure to push the blame right back.
Lumine refocused on the gacha. After going through another round of strange little rituals, she pressed down for a ten-thousand pull.
Nothing.
Another ten-thousand. Still nothing.
"Tsk…" Lumine scratched her head. She wasn't sure whether to call herself lucky or unlucky at this point.
On the one hand, she had pulled something decent earlier. On the other, it wasn't nearly as good as she wanted. She wasn't blessed with overwhelming luck, but she wasn't cursed either.
At least she had managed to pull a rare five-star Abyssal Flame card earlier.
Still unconvinced, she poured in another twenty-thousand. Finally—a golden glow appeared!
Lumine exhaled in relief. But that relief died instantly when she saw what was drawn.
A materials card.
"Perfect for alchemy," Lu Heng chuckled. "Didn't you say you had a talent for brewing potions? Maybe give it a try. Different systems or not, sometimes the principles line up. Who knows, maybe you'll discover something groundbreaking. Of course… the odds are also high you'll just end up making a big pile of junk."
In his judgment, results depended entirely on the person. With talent and skill, materials became treasures. Without them, they were wasted.
But when it came to Lumine, Lu Heng had no worries. She had level 38 magical talent, including alchemy, and she was relentless in execution. He truly believed she could achieve something.
"Alright then!" Lumine perked up.
And then another thought struck her.
The game had cooking. And food buffs always boosted attack, crit rate, and so on. With her "game mode" powers, couldn't she try combining food with potions?
She'd been eating takeout for days, but suddenly her mind lit up.
Things like Teyvat Fried Egg? Too basic.
But Dragon-Slayer's Stew? Now that had potential!
If she combined it with potions, Lumine could carry out an experiment so shocking it would shake heaven and earth.
After all, as the so-called Fourth Calamity, she had to learn how to use her strengths.
Drug buffs—essential skills for any true gamer!
"Leave it to me!" Paimon puffed up proudly.
Two minutes later, she was staring blankly at a materials card in her hand, doubting her entire existence.
"This… this can't be right."
Paimon looked at the card, then at Lu Heng, then back at Lumine.
No one wanted to admit their bad luck. Not when the result had just appeared. That was the moment when people always blamed the gacha system, never themselves.
But could Paimon blame Lu Heng? No way.
So she turned on Lumine. "I think you messed up my luck!"
"Excuse me? You're the one dragging me down!" Lumine frowned, though secretly she felt a little relieved.
When Paimon's pull had gone golden, she'd nearly panicked. But seeing that Paimon also got a materials card… that was comforting.
Sure, failure stung. But a friend failing with you? That was oddly satisfying.
"Maybe it's not either of us," Lumine analyzed seriously. "Remember last time? We actually had pretty good luck."
"So…" Paimon turned slowly toward the camera.
'Wait. Are they really trying to pin this on the viewers?!'
'Sitting at home, minding my business, and suddenly I'm to blame?'
'Stop whining about materials cards and reflect on yourselves!'
'Just wait! I'm heading to Mondstadt's shop right now. Only got a million Mora, but I trust my luck!'
'Good luck!'
'Listen, everyone—if all of us each spend ten-thousand Mora, the sheer numbers might shift the odds. Someone's bound to hit gold, and then we can laugh in the streamer's face!'
'That's not how probability works…'
'Doesn't matter! I've got twenty-thousand Mora to try. Even if I don't hit gold, four-star purples are strong, and three-stars are still respectable. That alone makes it worth it!'
'Keep dreaming! You'll know the pain when you walk out with a one-star food card—just something to warm you up when eaten.'
'I literally just came out of the Fontaine shop, and guess what? That's exactly what I pulled! (crying)'
Lu Heng glanced at his phone. The internet was buzzing with the "Lumine gacha" topic.
Most people said they'd give it a try—who knew, maybe they'd be the one to strike gold with a single pull? And if not, even a decent lower-tier card was still useful.
And if they really did get lucky, they could brag endlessly. That thought alone was worth it.
Lu Heng thought it was wonderful. With this much hype, business in the next few days was sure to explode.
After helping Lumine identify the rest of her four-star cards, he felt oddly exhausted. It had only taken minutes, but once you realized something wasn't necessary, it became tiring to keep doing it. Laziness had a way of creeping in.
Lumine and Paimon sorted the four-star cards, breaking down most into upgrade materials.
But Lumine set aside a pile. "Not these."
"Why not?" Lu Heng asked.
"These are for the fans." Lumine smiled.
'Wait—what?! She's giving those cards away as gifts?!'
'See? I knew Lumine was amazing! She's always been generous! The haters are just jealous!'
'You're literally one of the haters, don't pretend!'
'I hereby declare Lumine the most beautiful woman alive! Standing next to Lu Heng, they're the perfect couple!'
"Mark that one," Lumine said, pointing at the comment with a raised brow.
"Got it." Paimon hit follow, muttering, "Better reward him with a couple high-tier threes later."
"So generous?!" Paimon gasped.
"What can I say? He hit the right note." Lumine waved with mock grandeur. Then she told the chat, "Alright everyone, rewards will be random! Whether you get something strong or not… that's all up to your luck!"
The livestream exploded with gifts and cheers.
"…You're a natural at this," Lu Heng admitted.
"Just a bit of talent, maybe." Lumine laughed shyly.
He shook his head, smiling. "You two handle the rest. I've got something else to do."
"You're busy?" Lumine's smile dimmed slightly.
With so many wives already, Lu Heng's free time was precious. And when he wasn't with them, he had important clients to handle. Suddenly, Lumine felt his time was more valuable than she'd realized.
"Not exactly busy. Just teaching Hanachirusato how to identify cards." Lu Heng explained. "Think about it—if your people can do the work for you, would you still want to keep doing it yourself?"
Lumine gave Paimon a long, meaningful look.
"Don't you dare go turning into some lazy capitalist!" Paimon warned.
The sisters could work together, but if one tried to slack off, there'd be trouble.
Lumine said nothing, instead asking, "Hanachirusato—the shrine maiden with the fox mask at the Grand Narukami Shrine?"
"That's her."
"…So it is."
Memories stirred. The cleansing ritual hadn't been long, and they had already completed it. Lumine had once thought about visiting Hanachirusato herself, but then the Sumeru main quest had distracted her.
If Lu Heng hadn't brought her up today, she might have forgotten entirely.
It wasn't her fault. Her brain had just been flooded with too much information lately.
"How's she doing now?" Paimon asked curiously.
"She's doing fine. In fact, she should be here soon," Lu Heng replied.
Excited, the two waited.
Ten minutes later, the shop's teleport door opened.
"Lady Guuji!" Paimon waved happily—then froze at the girl following behind.
Long, flowing black hair. Shrine maiden robes. A face so exquisite it bordered on divine.
"Uh… who's she?"
"Hanachirusato. Aren't you going to greet the Traveler and Paimon?" Yae Miko teased with a knowing smile.
The girl bowed politely. "Miss Lumine, Miss Paimon. It's an honor."
"She's Hanachirusato?!" Paimon gawked. "My goodness! You're this beautiful? Why'd you wear a mask in the story?!"
"This face…" Lumine whispered, stunned. "It's like the Creator sculpted perfection itself."
Lu Heng crossed his arms, satisfaction gleaming in his eyes at the praise of his "work."
Yae Miko smirked at his reaction. "The Traveler guessed right. That body is your Lu Heng's handiwork."
"Huh?"
Lumine and Paimon exchanged wide-eyed looks.
"It's true." Hanachirusato nodded softly, her voice gentle yet tinged with shyness. "This form I use… was crafted by Master Lu."
"Wait—Master?" Paimon blinked.
Lu Heng only shrugged.
"Exactly." Yae Miko grinned. "Hanachirusato owes him a debt she can't repay. So becoming his maid to repay it—that's only natural, isn't it?"
Paimon tilted her head. "When you put it that way… makes sense, I guess."
Lumine, however, stared hard at Hanachirusato's flawless face.
Even hidden under modest shrine robes, if Lu Heng had crafted her body, then of course it would be stunning.
She bit her lip.
Competing with Teyvat's local beauties was already enough of a headache. But now she had to compete with women Lu Heng himself had created?!
This wasn't fair!
Her mind spiraled. If one day Lu Heng decided to have fun… couldn't he just sculpt his "perfect wife" exactly as he pleased?
Meanwhile, the chat had caught on too.
'Holy crap! Witnessing the greatness of Lu Heng firsthand!'
'That face is god-tier! If I had that power, I'd never worry about dating again!'
'Forget dating—just make the partner you want!'
'But without a soul, she'd just be a shell!'
'You have the power to create bodies—are you sure creating a soul is impossible?'
'Living the Lu Heng lifestyle is the ultimate dream…'
'No, no! Beautiful bodies are easy to make. But unique souls are rare! Lu Heng, don't get lost in your own creations!'
'His fangirls are in tears right now.'
'Come on, you know you've fantasized too. Same difference between men dreaming of women and vice versa!'
'I remember when Rex Lapis resurrected Bosacius… hey, could this be turned into a business model?'
'Insane! But if it's possible, sign me up!'
'You creeps! That's basically human trafficking!'
'Not if they don't have a soul!'
'Sister, what if Rex Lapis could craft a perfect boyfriend for you?'
'Then I'd shamelessly admit I'm down bad and beg him to help humanity!'
While chat devolved into madness, in the shop Lu Heng focused on teaching Hanachirusato how to identify and use cards. He even handed her a few four-stars to practice with.
Meanwhile, Lumine, Paimon, and Yae Miko whispered together.
"…You mean he sculpted that body himself?" Lumine asked quietly.
"I know what you're really wondering." Yae Miko's sly smile never wavered. "If it's humanly possible, he can do it."
"…" Lumine fell silent, though she had suspected as much. Hearing it confirmed still rattled her.
"Nervous about a new rival?" Yae teased, seeing right through her.
"Cough, well… it's manageable," Lumine stammered, eyes darting away.
"Relax. We're all family here. Share your worries with me, and maybe I can help." Yae leaned closer with a mischievous glint.
Lumine's expression shifted. She eyed Yae Miko seriously. "So… how far have you gone with him?"
"About the same as you," Yae said casually.
Relief softened Lumine's face—until Yae added, "But if I wanted, I could take things further tonight."
"Yae! Stop teasing her!" Paimon cut in. "She's going to twist herself up in jealousy!"
"No room for kids in this conversation." Lumine scooped up Paimon and hurled her out the door.
"Hey!!"
Paimon flipped midair, laughing instead of fuming. Being the "child" wasn't so bad. At least she didn't have to deal with these headaches.
Elsewhere, Azhdaha leaned in toward Zhongli, grinning ear to ear.
"Old friend, I've found a way to get rich—and it's completely legal!"
"Oh?" Zhongli raised a brow, intrigued. Times had changed; he couldn't just rely on his pension forever.
"Look!" Azhdaha forwarded him a digital proposal. "With the current hype, as long as we price it right, sales will skyrocket!"
Zhongli opened the file with keen interest—only to black out after a single glance.
Brother. You want me, the Geo Archon, to… sell fancy cups?!
Sure, they were much more advanced than ordinary cups. But still—cups?!
"Well? Interested?" Azhdaha wheezed with laughter. He wasn't serious; he still had pride, after all. He just wanted to troll his old friend.
"A five-star golden card… wasted on this?" Zhongli's face went blank, as if staring at his phone in disbelief.
The sheer absurdity of it was beyond words.
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T/N:
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