Chapter 92: From Loneliness to Warmth
For clumsy Ron, performing magic was always a challenge.
He learned slower than others, understood later than others, but he did have a commendable quality: once he got it, his magic was often more powerful than anyone else's!
Not just a little bit more powerful, either!
I mean, honestly, among all the current students at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, who else could cast a Hover Charm and knock out a troll with a wooden club?
A troll, a powerful magical beast with a 4X danger rating, just like Hippogriffs, Occamies, Thestrals, and Thunderbirds! Who else?!
But people always focused on his early clumsiness, either mocking or ignoring it, often overlooking his later intensity. Yet, he was a true Gryffindor! A true warrior! Confirmed by none other than Professor Lockhart, the Master of Magic himself!
He wouldn't want to disappoint Professor Lockhart, even if he also didn't want to disappoint his parents, though they were probably already quite disappointed. So, Professor Lockhart's trust and expectation were especially precious to him.
He had never so seriously considered his deepest joys, not even when he watched George and Fred play with their Patronuses during Duelling Club practice, or when Hermione triumphantly showed off learning things before him. He'd never been this serious.
Professor Lockhart had said, "You can open your mind and feel the beauty of life. You can also close your mind off, preventing any outside interference, and still feel beauty. Feeling beauty is a natural instinct; you just need to find your place and touch it in a way that suits you. It's very simple."
Yes, it's very simple, Ron told himself.
He kept trying until nightfall, but the silver light erupting from his wand's tip remained a misty blur, barely discernible. He felt no frustration. He simply told himself, No, I must cast it. I haven't failed; I just haven't succeeded yet.
If it didn't work, he'd just keep trying until it did. This was a determination he hadn't possessed before, pushing him to try relentlessly.
He started to think deeply, something he rarely did. He was too ordinary, and his thoughts often seemed laughable to his excellent brothers, which made him reluctant to engage in such introspection.
But he began to think, constantly recalling Professor Lockhart's gentle teachings, trying every possible method.
He finally made peace with his own mediocrity.
Yes, realizing one's own mediocrity was painful, especially for a child. But Professor Lockhart had said they needed a clear understanding of themselves.
What then?
He decided to give up on searching for his "most beautiful, happiest" memory. This abandonment suddenly seemed to widen the path before him.
"Most" was too hard for someone as ordinary as him, because it required comparison and measurement. But if he just thought of a beautiful and happy thing, there were so many.
Immediately, he thought of his pet, Scabbers. No one could understand his feelings for Scabbers, even if it was just an old, ugly rat.
But truly, would a lonely child's companion pet be disliked just because it wasn't cute enough? No, no one understood. Scabbers had accompanied him through so many lonely days and nights.
No one would ever know the bond between him, unloved and unnoticed, and his equally unloved and unnoticed pet. He recalled every past moment, a brilliant smile spreading across his face.
He remembered the summer he first got Scabbers. His village held a feast, and many children from surrounding villages came.
The adults would praise Percy, the children would be amused by his twin brothers, and they'd secretly and cautiously pay attention to Ron's two super cool brothers, especially Bill, with his long ponytail and cool fan earring.
Of course, the little girls liked playing with pretty Ginny.
Only he seemed to live in the shadows of others. No one saw him, no one cared about him. Only Scabbers, who would climb onto his lap, gently place its tiny paw on his hand, and offer him warmth.
Ron didn't notice the swaying patch of grass in the forest behind him, moving at a different frequency from the wind-blown vegetation. That was Peter Pettigrew, trembling.
He was terrified. No one had noticed how utterly distraught he was when Ron brought him here, just before being pulled into that strange scene by Gilderoy Lockhart's magic.
Thankfully, Lockhart had reminded everyone how to escape from that scene. As soon as everyone entered, he frantically resisted the so-called call to adventure and actually broke free.
Run!
He had already shown a potential flaw that could expose him!
He couldn't stay. God knew when he'd be revealed! He had such a keen sense of smell; he was always very sensitive.
But he couldn't escape. As soon as he jumped out of Ron's pocket, the Curled-Winged Demon began chasing him madly, desperate to bite open his rat head and suck out his brain.
Oh, for heaven's sake, the rat is going to die!
In desperation, he transformed back into his human form. How many years had it been since he last transformed?
The time was so long he was starting to forget. He began casting spells to resist the monster. To be honest, he was the runt of the Marauders, but that didn't mean he was genuinely weak; he could handle a winged demon.
Then he was surrounded. The Boggart was fine; he knew it was a Boggart and could easily deal with it using a Riddikulus charm. But the presence of the other two Dark magical creatures filled him with despair.
What was even more despairing was that he couldn't escape from this Crabbe family's Rainbow Fish farm! He had no way out!
He ran for his life like a madman, dodging the pursuit of these monsters, finally collapsing.
In utter despair, he cast a Disillusionment Charm on himself, closed his eyes, and prepared for death. But then, the monsters all left, as if they hadn't even noticed him.
That simple?
He could barely believe it was that easy to deal with? A Disillusionment Charm learned by a sixth-year wizard? (In reality, Lockhart had given him a pass.)
Ha!
He had thus miraculously survived, thinking about how he would leave with everyone later, and then completely leave the Weasley family and escape forever.
This made him sad. The Weasleys were good people; they all took care of him. As someone with nowhere to go, someone who didn't know how to live, he was quite content to live out his life as a carefree pet. Especially his young master, Ron, who genuinely cared for him.
Sigh, what a pity. He silently bid Ron farewell in his heart.
Then, he didn't know how much time passed, but he began to feel a powerful force influencing the entire farm, so terrifying, like how he felt when facing Lockhart's two Dark magical creature pets earlier.
Oh, and later, when Ron woke up and talked to Lockhart, he realized it really was a Dark magical creature. This Dark magical creature was so terrifying that it had ruined the Crabbe family's Rainbow Fish farm for decades, leaving the Crabbe family utterly helpless.
The sky-covering cloak swayed, and he felt a very uncomfortable sensation surging within him. If he weren't so sensitive, he might have just dismissed it as a temporary shift in his emotions.
As he felt lost about life after leaving the Weasleys, a feeling of loneliness involuntarily swelled within him, devouring his soul. He feared loneliness; his entire life had been spent in the shadows of others, unnoticed and uncared for, living without knowing why he was alive.
Initially, he followed the Potter trio, then he followed the Weasley family. This gave him a sense of security, a place to exist, which was nice.
He watched young master Ron's back from a distance, feeling the loneliness devouring his soul more and more. He yearned to return to Ron's side. But he told himself he couldn't move; if he did, Lockhart's monsters might kill him here. He had to wait until Ron passed by.
Then he waited and waited, and suddenly saw Ron beginning to cast spells at the Dark magical creature in the sky. It was clumsy.
Sigh. Oh, silly Ron, how can ordinary, even sometimes dull people like us learn from someone like Lockhart, who relies on talent? His methods are useless for you.
A Patronus Charm wasn't used like that. A Patronus, protecting one's own soul, how simple! Don't think about "beauty"; you have to crave to be protected, crave it enough, and it will appear. Dull people should face magic in a dull way, without all the flashy stuff.
But he couldn't show himself. Even if he did, he wouldn't dare speak to Ron; he'd scare Ron, and then Ron would abandon him completely, or he'd be exposed.
Peter Pettigrew watched Ron's back helplessly, beginning to pray that he would stop trying; it was simply not feasible. Just move around, aren't you quite the eater? How can one fish fill you up? Come gather mushrooms in the forest.
Then he froze. He didn't even realize the Disillusionment Charm he had cast on himself had faded. He just lay there blankly, dumbfounded, staring at Ron and the wand in his hand.
"Expecto Patronum!"
A flash of magical light, a swirling mist of silver, and a silver light-formed rat sprinted towards the cloak in the sky.
Is that me? Peter Pettigrew stared blankly at the scene, suddenly feeling a surge of emotion.
You were always the one taking care of me, always giving. How did that become your happiness? Oh, that foolish child—
His eyes welled up. He pursed his lips and cast the Disillusionment Charm on himself again, then lay there with Ron, gazing up at the little rat scurrying across the sky. He knew it wasn't him; that was Ron's courage. He wasn't that brave.
How wonderful~