Ha...
No one will truly be able to understand me... or get close to me, huh? In this life I am just cursed with knowledge and power...
Ah...
Phew...
Calm down; it's nothing insane. I know about people who are strong and knowledgeable who can only connect with other people who are strong and knowledgeable… It's as simple as that, but well, what happens if you're the strongest? or if you are the smartest?
…
The answer is simple: you become alone…
Am I scared of being alone? Ah, why am I even thinking about this so deeply? This is the same thing about me being a hero… Why do I think and get fixated on things and questions like these?
In my past life none of these questions even came into my sight… and if they did, I would have a black and white answer for all of them…
But now it's different… Something changed, not on the outside but on the inside too… Something in me changed…
What is it? Ah, fuck no, calm down. When did this start? Uh, ugh… why am I thinking? again…
I stand up and speak, "Ava shut down… and also close all the windows in the mansion…" and I don't get an answer, but the blinds come down on all the windows, and I hear the front gate closing…
And without a second wasted, Leo fast twists the dial of the watch on his hand, and Leo pushes down… on Gray Matter! and a green light fills my eyes, and then I am smaller, and my mind moves more clearly…
I sat down on the floor, my small legs crossed below me, as I folded my hands near my chest and closed my eyes…
'Just what changed? And when did this happen? Did something even change, or is it just my mind playing tricks on me?'
20 seconds later~
What the hell? Something is wrong with me… Well, no, everything seems fine really, but the day I defeated Shou-Lao, that dragon… and got the iron fist. Something weird has been happening to my thought process… Not only that, but after I got the ten rings, it got even worse… I have not been doing things as I planned; I have slowed down…
For no real reason…
That is obvious… all reason as cause for me being more calm? thinking about morally right things? That started to happen when I first gained the iron fist… Not only that, but my view of the world got brighter, like I got some sort of enlightenment? Weirdly enough… I did not notice this because this only affected my mind in a very, very small way…
But now that I think about it, the signs are there… But something else happened when I got the ten rings. I was still calm, but things changed. I got more arrogant?? and I never noticed, but I also got weirdly obsessed with conquest… Thankfully, I was able to just assign that role to Jame Lee, a role I could act…
Was this the ten rings affecting my mind? Ugh, no, no, this is all stupid. There was nothing about the Iron Fist or the Ten Rings affecting someone's mind… I mean, in the movie, the ten rings did affect Xu, the Mandarin's mind, but that was because Xu was grieving for his wife… He needed to see his wife again, and he was weak, and the Dweller-in-Darkness somehow affected Xu's mind; it was as though the ten rings… But still I should not have this problem because I know about the Dweller-in-Darkness…
Not only that, I don't wear the ten rings every day; I take them off once in a while just because of this reason… They a weapon after all, not a part of me… But still the facts tell me they do somehow affect my mind…
Ok, then how does this all work?
The answer should be simple Chi is the core of everything, the energy…
The Iron Fist is like the reactor, helping me channel Chi at its strongest state, and the Ten Rings are pretty much external amplifiers…
In doing this overall, I am able to punch trees away like they are made out of paper… But still, how could this affect my brain now? Uh, let's say I do get some sort of weird enlightenment because of Chi. Then won't the Iron Fist and the Ten Rings somehow boost that enlightenment?
That would explain why I think about right and wrong nowadays and why I just look at the sunset and understand words like "breathtaking"…
My behavior is not random; it all makes sense if I look through this lens…
But now that I know what the problem might be, how do I fix this? I have to fix this before I do anything else… I can't have my mind or thoughts being fucked with… Plus, I don't know if this could get worse… Who knows? Maybe there will be a time when I become a hero! Eww…
Or a villain… The ten rings do, for some reason, make me more… rude? in the smallest ways…
Anyway, how would I fix this? Hmm, the core of everything is chi, right? Think about it: was there ever a case like this before? Hmm…
Hmm…
Ugh, I can't pinpoint the problem, but if I had to guess, it is maybe because of the imbalances… In the comics and movies in the MCU, the word "balance" is used a lot when it comes to chi… and I can't imagine my chi being balanced with my body or mind at all…
My body is too young; there was no Chi user younger than me if I am not wrong… Not only that, my mind might be somewhat close with my chi, but even that balance breaks when I wear the ten rings; they amplify my chi to the point the balance breaks, and well, I become slow. I go into this weird state of burnout? possibly…
Great, now I am suffering from mental issues…
That's just what I need!