Hermes sat in a van next to Travis and said, "Alright everyone, mic check. King."
Crowley's voice crackled over the radio, calm and clipped as he said, "En route."
Hermes nodded and continued, "Tri-Color."
Neo answered over the radio, her voice quick and confident. "In position."
Hermes leaned back in his seat and said, "Sly."
Chris replied over the radio, steady and focused. "Ready and waiting."
Hermes gave a small grin and said, "Murray."
Connor's voice came through next, full of eager energy. "Let's do this."
Hermes tapped the radio one more time and said, "Matchstick."
Roman replied over the radio with a dramatic sigh. "Standing by. And also, I'm picking the codenames next time."
Hermes rolled his eyes with a smirk and said, "Noted. Now let's roll."
-----
Crowley walked into Gringotts holding a massive duffle bag. He approached the front desk and said, "Hello, my name is Crowley Ferguson. I recently re-immigrated from America. I'd like to open a new vault."
The goblin at the desk looked up sharply and said, "Hello, Mr. Ferguson. My name is Griphook. Thank you for choosing Gringotts Bank, but naturally I'll need to see some paperwork."
Crowley calmly brought out several papers and IDs that Hermes had made, placing them neatly on the desk. He waited with a polite smile as Griphook examined them. After a few moments, Griphook nodded and said, "Very well. Everything seems to be in order. Now, you said you wanted to open a vault, sir?"
Crowley responded with a confident grin, "Indeed. And I'd like to deposit the contents of this bag."
Griphook dipped his head. "Very well, sir." He tapped a bell, and another goblin marched into the room. "He'll take you to another room to check the contents of your bag, make you a key, and escort you to your vault."
Crowley smiled pleasantly and said, "Very good," before following the goblin into a private room.
Inside, he set the bag on the table. As the goblin reached to unzip it, Crowley lifted a hand and said, "Hold a moment. It has a trap on it. Just let me disengage it."
He bent over the bag. Before the goblin could react, Crowley's body collapsed to the ground as Red smoke slithered from his mouth and rushed into the goblin's body. The goblin's eyes widened, then snapped coldly into Crowley's sharp focus as he fully possessed him.
From inside the bag, the small and flexible Neo crawled out. She stretched, popped her back, and whispered, "It was tight in there." She stepped fully out, brushing dust off her clothes, and added, "You okay in there, Crowley?"
Goblin-Crowley scowled and muttered, "Bloody hell, this guy stinks. Let's hurry this along."
They stuffed Crowley's lifeless body into the magical bag. Goblin-Crowley hefted it onto his shoulder and said, "Alright, Neo dear, if you don't mind."
Neo nodded and used her Semblance to transform into Crowley's exact image. She took the bag from goblin-Crowley and straightened her coat. Together they walked out of the room.
Goblin-Crowley announced with a stiff bow, "Everything is in order, boss."
Griphook said, "Take him to Vault 1016. It's vacant."
Goblin-Crowley nodded, and he and Neo started heading toward the carts.
Neo quietly murmured into her hidden radio, "We're on the move. Sly, get into position."
Sly's voice came back smoothly, "Roger. On my way."
Crowley and Neo climbed into the minecart. Unseen by anyone else, a shadowy figure dropped silently from the ceiling and landed on the track behind them. It was Chris, wearing a blue hoodie, grey pants, blue fingerless gloves, and blue boots, carrying a long brown cane with a golden hook. He took off running along the track after the cart and called, "Go on ahead! They'll get suspicious if you move too slow!"
Crowley gave a curt nod and accelerated the cart until they reached the waterfall. He parked directly beneath it, causing the curtain of water to part around the cart.
Neo leaned slightly forward and whispered into her radio, "We're at the Thief's Downfall. Sly, are you close?"
Chris answered, "Right behind you." He dropped onto the track, wrapped his legs around it, turned upside down, and climbed along the underside until he passed beyond the waterfall. Once clear, he swung back up on top and said, a little breathless, "First obstacle taken care of."
Crowley climbed back into the cart and said, "Alright, you two, this is as far as I go. I have to give this idiot his body back and finish my alleged business before someone comes sniffing around. Remember, your targets are Vault 711 and Vault 705. Your exit is Vault 12. Neo, do you have everything?"
Neo returned to her true form in a shimmer of color and said, "Yep. I've got the key, the dagger, and the bag."
Crowley nodded with approval. "Good. Get going."
Neo smirked, hopped onto Chris's back, and locked her arms around his shoulders. Chris groaned dramatically and said, "Oh great, I'm a pack mule."
Neo tapped his head and replied, "You're the climber. Get climbing."
Chris muttered something under his breath, then jumped onto the cave wall and started moving, Neo clinging to him like a very smug backpack.
Crowley watched them vanish into the tunnels, exhaled slowly, and got to work on his exit plan.
-----
Outside Diagon Alley, Hermes and Travis sat in the van, keeping watch. Chris's voice crackled through the radio: "Approaching the first vault."
Hermes leaned forward, eyes narrowing as he replied, "Good. Continue with the plan. Watch out for the dragon, and remember to take care of the curses."
Travis adjusted his headset and added, "Alright. Murray should be headed to them from Vault 12 with the cart we got from Merlin."
Hermes smirked faintly and said, "Yeah. It's a good thing you can exit that vault from the inside."
Travis shrugged, tapping the dash with a nervous rhythm. "Actually, it's a good thing we all played Hogwarts Legacy before trying this, or none of us would be able to go through the vault." He paused, glanced around the street through the tinted windows, and asked, "Also, Dad… how is no one seeing the van?"
Hermes gave him a flat look and replied, "Just like everything else we've done today. Magic."
The van door slid open with a soft scrape, and Crowley stepped inside, dusting off his coat before taking a seat. His expression was smug and satisfied as he said, "Phase one complete. How's phase two?"
Hermes didn't take his eyes off the monitors. "In progress. How'd you get out, by the way?"
Crowley stretched his legs out and said casually, "Parked under the Thief's Downfall, dropped a large rock on the goblin after I smoked back into my body, then called for help. The goblins apologized for my inconvenience and were happy to sweep the whole thing under the rug."
Hermes blinked once, processing the absurdity, before nodding slowly. "Okay… that works."
------
Back in Gringotts, Chris made his way through the cavern before dropping down in front of Vault 711. Neo climbed off his back with a stretch, then stabbed a colorful, wavy dagger into the door, shattering the security enchantments in a burst of sparks.
Chris blinked at the display and said, "Wait, we don't have a key. How are we gonna open it?"
Neo knelt down, pulled out a lock pick, and began working the mechanism with quick, nimble motions. "Without magic, it's just another lock," she said, voice light but focused. After a few seconds, a hard click echoed out, and the door slowly swung open.
Once they stepped inside, they were met with piles of gold, silver, jewels, artwork, and magical items stacked like a something out of a dream. At the center sat a golden chalice that radiated an ominous aura, the air around it practically humming.
Neo plunged the dagger into the vault floor. A ripple of energy pulsed outward like a shockwave, and all the security enchantments and curses dissolved into shimmering dust.
Chris stared at the dagger with wide eyes. "The hell is that thing anyway?"
Neo dusted off her pants and said, "Rule Breaker. A magic dagger that basically cancels out all spells and enchantments. Lord Hermes gave it to me for the heist."
Chris nodded, impressed. "Cool."
He approached Helga Hufflepuff's cup with caution and used his cane to scoop it into a magic bag that he tied off quickly. Neo, meanwhile, started efficiently storing the rest of the loot in her bag.
Once she finished, she said, "Alright. Now on to Vault 705."
As they made their way over, a sudden torrent of dragon fire cut them off. The chained beast had spotted them.
Chris smirked, adrenaline sparking in his eyes. "Well, it's not a proper heist if everything goes perfect. You head to the vault. I'll keep him busy."
He leaped over the railing and instantly drew the dragon's attention while Neo sprinted forward. Chris ran circles around the creature, dodging its tail and flames with narrow, heart-pounding escapes. Between breaths he muttered, "Come on… gotta think of a plan."
That's when he spotted familiar blue sparkles dancing along the chain holding the dragon down. A grin lit up his face. "Bingo."
He dashed toward the chain, sliding under another blast of fire. Reaching the spike anchoring the chains, Chris swung his cane into it. The spike cracked loudly. He ducked another furious swipe from the dragon and struck again, harder this time, until the spike shattered completely.
The dragon froze for a heartbeat, then reared its head, realizing it was free. No longer concerned with Chris, it launched itself upward, climbing the cavern walls toward the skylight with newfound determination.
Chris didn't stick around to see what happened next. He sprinted to catch up with Neo just in time to see Connor pull up with the cart. Neo burst out of Vault 705 and she and Chris hopped in without missing a beat.
Connor grinned over his shoulder. "Next stop: Vault 12."
He slammed the lever, and the cart rocketed off toward their exit.
They reached vault 12, and after cutting their way through its defenses, they stepped out of the portal that sat near Hogwarts and regrouped with Roman. He lounged on a large rock, surrounded by the twitching bodies of dead giant spiders, calmly smoking a cigar as if he were waiting on a late bus rather than holding off a swarm of monsters.
He exhaled a lazy stream of smoke and said, "Took you all long enough. Next time one of you is guarding the exit. Now let's go before more of these things show up."
Roman raised his radio, irritation slipping into his voice as he spoke. "This is Matchstick, ready for extraction."
A cool, feminine voice responded through the static, steady and almost amused. "Roger, Matchstick. Beginning teleportation now. Remember my cut."
A flare of light washed over the group, and the four of them were teleported straight to the van. They climbed in fast, slamming the doors as the magic faded.
Hermes twisted around in his seat, eyes scanning everyone with quick concern. "That everybody? Good. Let's roll."
He hit the gas, and the van tore away from the forest, kicking up dirt as they sped toward safety.
-----
Back at their safe house, they sifted through their mountain of loot. Hermes methodically divided everything into even piles, set Merlin's cut aside with care, and finally straightened up with a satisfied nod.
"Alright, Chris, the cup please," he said, holding out his hand.
Chris stepped forward and handed Hermes Helga's cup, watching closely. Hermes' eyes glowed with divine power as he gripped the artifact and ripped the fragment of Voldemort's soul straight out of it, letting the corrupted magic dissolve like smoke.
With the job done, Hermes looked around at the group, a proud spark in his eyes. "Alright, everybody, successful heist. Now, before everyone goes on their merry way, I'd like to say something. You can all take your loot and be satisfied with what you have which, to be fair, is a lot. Or… we can find another target and keep this streak going."
Roman leaned back in his chair with a slow, dangerous smirk. "Why settle for millions when you can go for billions?"
Crowley swirled a glass of whiskey, amused and half-lounging as usual. "Who am I to turn down the god of thieves?"
Neo raised a hand with a playful shrug. "I'm in."
Chris folded his arms with a small grin, eyes flicking between the others. "We wouldn't be your Sons if we said no."
Hermes smirked back at all of them, the glint of opportunity already forming. "Alright. Just give me time to find us a target."
-----
Later that day, after the goblins had finished sorting out the damage left in the wake of the dragon's escape, they finally surveyed the deeper vaults. Once they reached the lower levels, they discovered two vaults completely empty: vault 705 belonging to the Malfoys, and vault 711 belonging to Bellatrix Lestrange.
The goblins were furious. Their snarls echoed through the stone corridors, claws tapping angrily against metal as they searched for any sign of the intruders. The only clue they found, sitting neatly in the center of vault 711 like an insult, was a blue and white card shaped like a raccoon.
The room went silent for a heartbeat as the goblins stared at it, rage simmering just beneath the surface. Whoever left that calling card had made a very dangerous enemy.
(Authors Note:Geez I'm leaving these a lot more often these days anyway this will not be the last heist done by Hermes and his team I'm planning to do more in the future each one hopefully better than the last )