"Just as you deny me...I will defeat you with all that I am...
I murmur the words without realizing it. I raise my head. Pour determination into my dying body.
That's right...I already knew...
This is just a dream. But I kept on believing in it because I thought it was right. Kiritsugu pursued it because he knew it was an unattainable dream, an impossible ideal. Even if it may be unattainable...He believed that he would reach his destination if he kept running. I don't care about that.
"I won't lose to you. I don't mind losing to anyone else. But I can't lose to myself----!"
That's all that's filling my head. My ideal is fake. He's right. I can't be a hero. As long as I admire such a thing. I will end up like the man before me.
"....isn't..."
But I felt beauty in it. I know it's just hypocrisy to value everyone else over yourself. But still...I admired it, thinking how great it would be if I could live that way. That's the only thing driving my body.
"...It isn't..."
How long has it been since then? There were things I lost, and there were things I abandoned. There are always things that will be forgotten. So I swore to myself never to forget this one thing.
To become a hero. To save everyone I can see.
I will protect it even if it isn't my wish, or even if it is just a fallacy to soften my guilt. It has to come true...The person who saved me died, leaving those words behind.
I believe in the wish contained in those words. Even if everyone in this world disagrees and even if I am to curse myself. Even if Emiya Shirou is a fake, this is absolutely true. So I won't back down. Because this dream is...
"....IT ISN'T A MISTAKE....!"
- Shirou Emiya vs EMIYA Archer, Fate
---
Dreams huh?
...
How beautiful...
Oh. Sup.
Alexander here again.
I would normally have a joke here, but I got nothing.
Except for this mirror I have, when I hold it up all I see is myself.
The greatest joke is me.
Ehem.
Ehem.
Anyway.
Dreams.
Wishes.
Ideals.
They're beautiful things.
The means of staying motivated.
Of working towards a goal.
They are the fuel that sparks the flame of inspiration.
Inspiration to do great things, witness great things.
A spark of revolution to change the world.
I'm not saying this for a grand message or anything. Just speaking my mind.
Something so simple, so beautiful...
Its kinda awesome.
A simple dream can cause a guy to transcend the bounds of life and death all in the effort to accomplish said dream.
As for my own dream its mothing too special.
Actually, I'm a bit ashamed to say my own after all this aha..
My dream, its-
...
Oh.
I've run out of time for the minute huh.
...
Welp.
In this conclusion to this arc, we have ruffled feathers, poor attempts at negotiation, and not so sad farewells.
So for now, enjoy this tale once more, kay?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I saw hell.
Not the fire and brimstone hell.
This place was actually quite plain if anything. Random geometry floating haphazardly through the air, shadows of animals and other figures interacting.
Even, the air seemed to be alive, dancing with its own eccentric energy.
And at the core of it all...
A Sakura tree.
Pink flowers drifted from its branches, spreading through the air and overall enhancing the seemingly peaceful vibe.
Tranquil. Beautiful. Serene even.
So how could one call such a place hell?
"..."
But seeing that man with white hair lean against that very tree, arms crossed, and brows furrowed, I couldn't call it anything but that.
I saw Hell.
A self inflicted, man made hell designed to remind him of what he lost.
Of what he let himself become.
Of what he was forced to become.
And there he stood.
Cold, lonely, drowning in past regrets and sorrow.
Alone with no way out.
Reminiscing over and over endlessly in a cycle of self hatred.
A crack.
His eyes slowly slid open, a piercing blue. Cold and frigid like the relentless winter hammering at the door, trying to force it's way in.
He turned his gaze through the area as if having sensed something, before slowly closing his eyes once more upon seemingly finding nothing.
Kevin Kaslana...
Born a youthful, naive fool, but now a bitter withdrawn warrior...
I truly wonder if the price you had to pay was worth it.
And the many more to follow this foolish plan of yours.
I know of the burden you bear, of the enemies you will face and certainly the many more you will make in your attempt to shift the balance.
Not even out of your love for humanity, but your love for the only 'human' that matters to you.
You do all of this for MEI which in itself is more painful.
How will she react? Would she be mad or sad? Would she shun you for your methods? Or would she smile sadly, knowing that there was no other way.
You'll never know, we'll never know.
Because she's gone and yet here you remain.
It doesn't mean much but for what it's worth.
"I'm sorry... Sorry you had to bear such a burden. Sorry you have to feel the weight of the world upon your shoulder. Sorry I wasn't able to do more for you, despite promising you all of these beautiful things..."
I walked forward and gently patted his shoulder.
I don't know why I did, after all, the odds of him actually feeling the hands of someone who isn't supposed to be alive is unlikely.
But I did regardless.
His furrowed brow eased up a bit regardless. Maybe he sensed my sincerity?
I smiled then. A small soft smile as my hand started gently ruffling his hair.
His expression relaxed ever so slightly more as his labored breathing became more smooth.
Poor child...
"Even though I can't do much from here, may my presence be a small comfort for you, in the cold embrace of this cruel sea."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And at the end of your journey, you alone will bear witness to the final miracle. Once all available paths are severed, and finality is removed from the equation, then and only then will the layers over this false reality you view be peeled back anew. All falsehoods will be laid bare, and the truth of this world be revealed.
You who have inherited THEIR power, you are not allowed to fail me. You alone, are worthy of my wrath. Do NOT disappoint me...
_
Ship Bay of Hyperion, Alexander
Beep
Beep
Beep
Beep
*Inhale*
I slowly inhaled as my eyes creaked open sleepily.
Loud beeping was all I heard throughout the room, and for a sec I was confused as to where I was.
All around the room was various medical equipment, several of which had various wires and needles stuck in my body.
A med bay.
That's what I deduced.
But that does raise a question?
WHERE THE HECK AM I?
Last thing I remember was experiencing the big bang going off, and after that nothing.
And before that I remember looking for Sora.
...
Shit!
"Stupid, stupid, stupid!"
Upon realizing that I very much had no clue where Sora was, my previous lethargy was pushed to the back of my head as I immediately fought to stand up.
Only to briefly pause as I realized there were several straps to my chest restraining me to the bed.
"..."
My eyes narrowed for an instant as I stopped moving.
And then alarms started blaring one by one as I strained and ripped forward.
Metal started screeching as it was forced to bend in ways it shouldn't as I slowly but surely forced my way free.
I stumbled to the ground briefly, before standing up shakily and grabbing the various needles to remove from my body with a jerk.
As I looked around I realized I had no clothes on currently, which while definitely raised some concerns on who saw me naked, was paling in comparison to the fact I needed clothes.
"..."
I luckily found some hanging off a hanger on the wall, clothes I quickly put on without really caring whose they were.
"Huh. They fit well."
A bit concerning considering one of these items was less a shirt and more a top, but beggars can't be choosers so...
Current aesthetic aside, my attention was back on getting out of here.
While the smart thing to do was wait, with the alarms going off the minute I woke up and broke free, I'm inclined to think I'm a prisoner or at least unwilling guest.
And besides, I don't really have time to do any of that, Sora could be in god knows what danger, so the best option is always to just charge ahead.
I turned toward the wall in front of me.
With a clenched fist, I raised it and-
*BOOM!*
With a strong punch it was blown clean off its hinges.
Several more alarms started going off, but I ignored them as I quickly started running while ignoring them.
Whenever I saw a wall or something I otherwise couldn't open, I just kept running either through it or past it.
Such was my travel path of mad blind flight, that I wasn't even paying attention.
And thus my slamming into something I couldn't see coming was a foregone conclusion.
*Wham!*
The weight of something blunt and heavy slamming into my ribs knocked a wheeze out of my lungs as I was sent flying and slowly sliding to a stop on my back.
"....Owwwww..."
I groaned as I moved to stand up, only to pause as I felt the weight of something sharp against my neck.
Immediately I tried to pry it off, but a boot slammed down on my hand to prevent it from moving, while a hand pinned my hand down as well.
"For a person whose life we went out of our way to save, you're not very grateful it seems."
Upon hearing that voice I sighed before immediately giving up all resistance.
"Can you really blame me Major?"
"Sure I can. You know how much this is going to cost us in repairs to fix? We only have so much of a budget set aside for 'damages caused by self mutilating idiots'."
Sigh
Fair enough.
Now to those wondering who was currently introducing my throat to the wonders of near sword swallowing, may I present a spit fire of a woman.
Long auburn red locks tied behind her head in a strict ponytail.
Piercing gold eyes that seemed to twinkle with a strict mischief. Not mischief like as in planning something devious, but rather a restrained kind of amusement. Probably at the fact I was essentially pinned beneath her.
And last but not least, a uh...
Ehem.
Rather impressive chest...
May I present Miss Himeko Murata!
(A/N: Yall people are horny as hell I swear. Not a single decent teacher Himeko outfit. Mind you she's not wearing this, I just wanted a reference image. BUT MY POINT STANDS!)
"Now then. Seeing as how you've gone surprisingly docile, you ready to talk instead of blazing a trail of destruction through my ship?"
"I don't really have much of a choice in this do I?"
"Nope."
"Fair enough."
As for those wondering why I gave up so easily, three reasons.
One, I'm still not entirely feeling fully awake yet, I think they may have pumped me full of sedatives but regardless, I'm not at 100% quite yet.
Two, this is Himeko. No way in hell am I going to be able to blaze past her right now. Not to mention even if I could, I wouldn't. Knowing her condition, she would nonetheless risk killing herself faster if it meant stopping a rampage from a percieved threat. Arrogant of me to say or not, I think I could tear through a lot if I wanted to (she'd beat the shit out of me), but I ain't risking it.
Last but not least, Theresa. If this is where I think it is, then maybe Theresa will have answers for me on Sora's whereabouts.
So combining all of these facts, I was definitely down to be docile if it meant all these factors could help me in the long run.
Which is why, when Himeko pulled her claymore away from my neck and backed away warily, I slowly stood up myself, hands raised to show I meant no harm.
Still watching me warily, Himeko nonetheless sheathed her weapon on her back before telling me to follow her.
I did without complaint, being led through several hallways and bends, not even bothering to hide my curiosity as we walked.
I'm pretty sure I gawked a few times when I saw what looked like a portable star floating in a container. I quickly hid said expression, because I didn't want to look like a nerd or something.
"Pretty interesting right?"
I guess I didn't hide my expression well enough.
Crap.
"Yeah. It almost looks like you managed to contain a star inside a small sphere, and are actively siphoning its power."
Sorta like a Dyson Sphere if we're being honest.
Not that I know what that is or anything.
Nope.
Definitely didn't study how to build one as a kid before failing as my sister backhanded the shit out of me for being stupid.
Ehem.
As if humoring a child, Himeko smirked as she walked forward faster leaving me to follow as she started explaining about more and more stuff on the ship.
By the time we had reached Theresa's quarters my brain was filled with all sorts of weird tidbits and bits of trivia about the ship.
I was left wondering if I was even under scrutiny at this point...
*Wham!*
"You piece of @$#%@^# Frickin door frame!"
Or unluckily lucky considering that was the 7th time I had hit my head on a door frame or a door just happened to open in front of me.
Well whatever, through this door would lie the answers to my questions I hope.
As the door opened though, instead of seeing a room, I saw a sight I had once only seen in game CG's.
"Woah..."
"Impressive right? Welcome to your new home for the foreseeable future."
She gently nudged me through the door as I continued gawking.
"Welcome to Saint Freya."
End of Arc 1 - Nagazora and New Beginnings
Notes:
Hæc nihil nisi prima optata tua impetrata, meaning this is nothing but your first wish obtained.
Or in other terms, meaning this is just one wish of yours fulfilled, there are more to come.