Chapter 46: Getting More Skilled
Maybe because it wasn't the first time escorting Miura back, this time with his experience, Hikigaya wanted to make an awkward face but just couldn't muster it.
In fact, not only could he not make the face, he actually felt kind of… skilled at this.
Fortunately, there exists a kind soul called the scapegoat—also known as the professional at salvaging awkward scenes.
Iroha Isshiki stood frozen in place.
Among everyone, she seemed the most frightened.
Her expression made the scene look a bit more normal.
Tamamo-no-Mae's appearance seemed to soothe her. When Hikigaya dragged Tamamo over, she instinctively hugged her tightly—and showed no signs of letting go.
This was a far cry from how she acted on the bullet train, where she wanted to touch but didn't dare.
"Are you okay?"
Hikigaya asked, a bit surprised.
This girl seemed to scare easily. Just from hearing a voice, she got this shaken. Was she going to turn into Miura 2.0?
"Ah, I'm fine, senpai. Thank you," Iroha returned to herself and looked at Hikigaya with a bit of curiosity.
It was obvious to anyone that she was a little shaken.
Compared to her, the others were fine.
Hiratsuka, though a teacher, practiced martial arts and believed it was a prank—not worth mentioning.
Yukinoshita Yukino's expression hadn't changed from beginning to end. After her family incident and becoming dead set on being a magical girl, this kind of scare probably didn't even register to her.
Hayama and goofball Tobe were guys and naturally braver.
They, along with Yui and the fujoshi, had already encountered a monster before—running into a ghost now wouldn't faze them.
In the end, the real rookie here was just Iroha Isshiki.
Still, she was better off than Miura.
"That's good. Don't worry, it was just someone pulling a prank. I went to check, and the mountain staff already took them away."
Hiratsuka's misunderstanding was very convenient in this situation and easy to accept. Naturally, Hikigaya used it without shame.
"Ah, that's great. But it was still dangerous for you to go after them, senpai. What if it had been some pervert? That would've been trouble… right, Hayama-senpai?"
Batting her eyes, Iroha subtly edged closer to Hayama—but everyone saw it, and no one missed her "found a good opportunity" face.
"Hikki, you take Yumiko back first," Yui said at this point.
Like in his original world she was a people-pleaser. Hikigaya didn't interact much with her anymore, but he had to admit she got along well with everyone. "She must be feeling really bad right now."
"Got it. I'll come back later," Hikigaya replied, then took the embarrassed Miura from Hiratsuka and helped her up.
Miura really didn't hold back. Probably still mortified, she leaned her face against Hikigaya's arm the moment he supported her.
Hikigaya was skilled at supporting her, and she seemed just as familiar with being supported.
"N-no, Hikigaya-kun, you don't have to come back so quick—pfft!"
Before Tobe could finish his sentence, he seemed to get attacked by an invisible force.
Hikigaya was pretty sure it was a silent elbow from the fujoshi. She was getting really good at it.
He still couldn't tell whether those two were a thing or not.
Not that it mattered to him. After saying goodbye to everyone, he supported Miura and began walking back.
After a while, he felt like he had forgotten something.
Then he remembered.
Because the person he forgot used an impressively strong voice to remind him.
"Hey! You just left your teacher behind and walked off?"
Hiratsuka Shizuka stormed up behind him.
She must've been holding it in the whole time, waiting for him to say something.
Though she was a teacher, Hikigaya really couldn't treat her like one.
"What nonsense are you spouting? You're the teacher! There's no such thing as a student ditching a teacher—only teachers ditching students," Hikigaya replied, looking shocked. "How thick-skinned are you to say that with a straight face?"
"Well, well! Getting cocky now, huh? You know saying a woman has a big chest counts as sexual harassment, right? Didn't I already tell you—if you want to date me, come back in ten thousand years?" Hiratsuka was still angry. "And seriously, why is it you kids fall in love and I end up alone?"
Fall in love?
If anyone else had said that—like Yui—Hikigaya might've had a moment of clarity and realized Miura was the girl Tobe had mentioned wanting to chase.
But coming from Hiratsuka?
Everyone knew this woman was desperate for a boyfriend.
In her eyes, as long as you were of a different gender—even if not the same species—if you were close, you were "in a relationship."
Hikigaya just couldn't trust her judgment on this.
And Miura hadn't said a word the whole time—definitely out of pure embarrassment.
Tch, already pushing thirty and still saying whatever comes to mind.
Didn't she know she was only a goddess when she kept quiet and didn't smoke?
"You're thinking something bad again, aren't you?" Hiratsuka, now walking beside Hikigaya, looked at him suspiciously.
To be fair, she was quite attractive when dressed up.
She had on a tight skirt, those signature black stockings—her figure was all woman.
Thinking that, Hikigaya chuckled to himself and didn't respond.
He just kept walking.
Seeing Hikigaya ignore her, Hiratsuka found it boring and stopped talking too.
So the three walked in silence for a while. Occasionally, hikers passed by them, most giving them strange looks.
Some couldn't even hide their weird expressions.
What made Hikigaya want to laugh most was that some people actually looked at him with admiration and envy…
Miura had her head down and didn't see it. Hiratsuka, on the other hand, was furious at all the staring but couldn't lash out.
After a while, the crowd thinned out.
Hikigaya sensed something, slowed his pace, and was quickly overtaken by Hiratsuka.
"Running out of energy already?" She noticed his deliberate slowdown and frowned, walking back to him. "Forget it. Things are already like this—just give her to me."
Hikigaya didn't argue. He smiled and handed Miura to her, then slowed down even more.
"Hey! Are you done or not?" Hiratsuka, noticing something wrong, shouted from up ahead, clearly even more annoyed—but she picked up the pace.
She had also sensed something unusual.
After all, she and Hikigaya shared more than just a student-teacher relationship.
They couldn't be compared to the other students.
"No choice. The way people are looking at me, it's like I'm scum," Hikigaya laughed. "You go ahead. I'll follow behind."
After saying that, he stopped walking.
God-slayers really weren't suited for going out. Trouble followed them everywhere.
Ahead of him, Hiratsuka didn't seem to notice anything.
Soon, she was out of sight with Miura.
Hikigaya watched them go, then shook his wrists and cracked his neck. He said to the air, "Come on out, isn't tiring hiding like that?"
Chapter 47: If It Hurts, Just Scream
"Heh heh, you're as impressive as I thought."
After a dry chuckle, a petite figure—one that Hikigaya was already quite familiar with—stepped out from behind a red torii pillar and stood before him.
"It's you," Hikigaya said, curling his lips in clear displeasure.
Before him stood none other than the paper-ball-throwing, deadpan-faced weirdo Aoyama Keiko, whom he had only recently encountered.
He had sensed the magic energy stirring in the air earlier but hadn't investigated, thinking it was just another nuisance.
Turned out it was her.
That meant his earlier reaction had been... idiotic.
"Why aren't you home having dinner with your mom?" Hikigaya asked dully, clearly losing interest.
"As a great exorcist swordswoman, did you really think I'd be so easily amused by your antics?" Aoyama Keiko replied in her usual expressionless tone. "You're strong, yes—but getting me to laugh? Too naive."
"You're overthinking it… That said, can you actually laugh?" Hikigaya rubbed his face, pinched his nose bridge—he felt exhausted.
"How rude. Of course I can laugh. But it's too much effort, so I choose not to."
"As if I'd expect your cooperation… So what do you want from me?" Hikigaya glanced at his phone, checked the time, and stuffed it back into his pocket. "Hurry up. I'm heading back."
"Oh, right. I got scolded just now," Keiko said. "Then my mom told me to thank you."
"Okay, much appreciated. Bye." Hikigaya turned on his heel, ready to leave.
But Keiko scuttled sideways like a crab, blocking his path with outstretched arms—further enhancing her crab-like impression.
She clearly had no intention of letting him leave.
"Impatient man. I'm not done. My mom said I don't train hard enough and told me to learn from you."
"Oh..." Hikigaya was now just annoyed.
What was he supposed to say to that?
Then Keiko continued, "So, let's duel. That way I can convince my mom."
"..."
Hikigaya fell silent.
What kind of absurd twist was this?
This girl's logic was so drunk it needed rehab. What made her think she was even close to his level?
She was the one who just got rescued, wasn't she?
"Where's your mom?" Hikigaya asked after a moment.
"Why are you asking that?" Keiko finally showed some emotion—but it was clearly the wrong kind. "Forget it, young man. You've got no money, and you're ugly. You could never be my dad."
"..."
Hikigaya went silent again.
He had been mistaken. This girl didn't just have terrible logic—she needed a serious re-education.
"Alright, let's fight..." Hikigaya exhaled deeply. "Just remembered, my iron fist has been itching for action."
He decided to use the special move he created for Komachi: the "Brat-Go-To-Sleep Punch."
Then he noticed a change in Keiko's expression.
"Could it be… you have feelings for me too? That face—that's what they call an 'M', right?" Keiko said with utter seriousness. "I won't call you daddy while hitting you."
"...If you keep dragging this out, I'm leaving." Hikigaya felt like he was reliving the horror of seeing his High school entrance exam scores.
"Alright, wait a sec, Mr. M." Keiko gave him a look that screamed "you're such a tsundere" and reached into her clothes.
She pulled out a large talisman—bigger than last time. Hikigaya had no idea where she was hiding it.
Just seeing this gave him a headache.
But this time was different. Instead of throwing it at him like before, Keiko carefully folded the talisman.
She folded it into a paper sword, about the size of a real Japanese katana.
Though it wouldn't do much against Hikigaya, he found himself intrigued.
Odd as it sounded, magic was a lot like literature—deeply emotional, and varied in style depending on the country, culture, and region.
Broadly speaking, Eastern magical traditions were more intricate, with abstract theories, complex classifications, and refined techniques.
Once Keiko had finished folding the paper sword, she made a strange hand gesture with her free hand, sliding her fingers inch by inch along the blade.
Magic energy began to gather along the paper, and her fingers made a metallic sound as they rubbed the surface. It seemed to harden into something like iron.
This reminded Hikigaya of Erica Blandelli's steel magic.
Though less bizarre than Keiko's Onmyodo, Erica's magic was more effective—able to freely manipulate and enhance actual steel for devastating attacks.
It was likely developed for large-scale battlefield use.
In contrast, Keiko's magic seemed more suited to assassinations or street brawls.
Hikigaya decided to test it.
He held up two fingers in a scissor shape, and before Keiko could react, appeared in front of her and snipped at the paper sword.
Snip—!
Without the slightest resistance, the blade broke cleanly in two. The cut was incredibly smooth.
Keiko froze, still making the same motion across the sword, but her fingers now rubbed empty air where the blade used to be.
"This paper must've been faulty..." she murmured and, acting like nothing had happened, tossed the broken blade aside and pulled out another talisman.
Hikigaya suddenly felt a strong urge to mess with her...
And he acted on it.
After Keiko refolded the new paper into a sword and hardened it again with cursed energy, Hikigaya, wearing a constipated expression, reached out once more.
Snip—!
"..."
Keiko didn't change her expression, but her cheeks puffed slightly, her lips curled, and there was a noticeable glimmer in her eyes.
"You scam artist!" she muttered bitterly.
Hikigaya pretended not to hear it—but was clearly delighted.
This girl's actually pretty fun.
With that thought, Hikigaya adopted the spirit of a patient hunter, waiting for her to finish her next paper sword.
As time passed, more and more broken paper blades piled up on the ground.
Surprisingly, Keiko was quite tenacious—she just kept pulling out more paper.
Eventually, Hikigaya started to feel guilty.
Her determination really was impressive.
Finally, Keiko successfully completed a sword.
"Whew—so tired," she said, wiping sweat from her forehead.
Holding the now-steel-like paper sword, she twisted her waist a few times, stretched a little, and then struck a heroic pose, ready to swing.
"I'm gonna chop you now," she said to Hikigaya, who was also wiping sweat. "If it hurts, just scream."