Her green eyes looked at him, waiting for an answer, and he didn't know how to begin. He sighed; after all, he doubted he would ever have another chance like this with her. Stubbornness was oozing out of his pores.
He took a deep breath.
"I'm really sorry for what happened," he began, staring at the floor. "I was a fool—a complete idiot. I never should've offered you money for sex. I never should've drunk so much. If I'd known you had never been with a man before…"
"Jade, you don't know what I went through. The guilt was eating me alive. I wanted to die when I woke up and you were gone. That stained sheet haunted me for so many nights. I didn't know what to do. I searched for you everywhere. Then I found out what happened to your father—and I'm so sorry."
Jade turned her face away. She didn't want to cry, but her eyes were already brimming.
"I thought the worst of you. I compared you to someone from my past who hurt me deeply. Her betrayal turned me into what I became, and I know that's no excuse for how I treated you. I did so many things wrong that now I can barely look at you."
"I wasn't to blame for what Christian and your ex did to you," she said, wiping away a tear. Dominick frowned. "He told me everything the night I… kissed him."
"That made me so furious," he admitted, trying to block the image from his mind. "I thought you were sleeping with him, with that bellboy—and then that other man came along…"
"I know I had no right over you, but that's how I felt. You'd become an obsession, a sort of challenge. Your defiance towards me kept me angrier than I'd ever been," he spat. "Then I found out Christian was in love with you, and I lost it. I wanted to hurt him, make him feel just a fraction of what I once did. I was irrational, Jade. I took out a betrayal on you when you had nothing to do with it."
"You always wanted to do whatever you pleased with me—kissing me without permission, touching me…" she looked away. "Do you think your insults didn't hurt? They did. But I always tried to act strong. I know it wasn't right for either of us to keep fighting, arguing, and insulting each other all the time, but you were always the one who started it," she emphasized.
"That night…" she alluded to the night she slept with him. "It was the worst experience of my life. It hurts, it haunts me. My father died that day, and I couldn't be there because I was getting ready for you. When Robinson threw that in my face, I felt like the worst person in the world. As if it wasn't enough that the first time a man ever touched me that way, he mistook me for someone else."
"Why didn't you tell me, Jade?" he tried not to sound accusatory, but failed. "You should've said something—stopped me, I don't know…" He covered his face with his hands, ashamed of the memory.
"I had too much on my mind. I was too worried about my dad to even think I should tell you I was a virgin and ask you to be gentle…" she wiped her tears with her sleeve. "Do you think I didn't try? That I didn't speak up for you to stop? I told you several times to leave it for another day, but you just kept drinking, saying things I didn't even understand at first, and when I finally did, you were already taking me like an animal."
"I turned what should've been a beautiful experience into a horrible memory," he said, hitting the arm of the chair. "If only I could turn back time, so you would never have shed a single tear because of me. I hate myself for it—for all the pain I caused you…"
"I swear I looked for you like a madman, desperate to beg for your forgiveness. One day I went to your house and argued with your mother. She said terrible things about you, and I got angry."
Jade's red eyes lifted to him, a sad smile curving her lips. She'd stopped being surprised long ago when someone told her Janeth spoke ill of her.
"I had problems with her husband too, and that same day he nearly killed me. He sent some guys after me—they shot at me."
Her eyes widened in shock, but he went on:
"You know what?" a faint smile touched Dominick's lips; he'd finally understood what Marcus had always tried to tell him.
"I'm glad I didn't find you sooner."
She frowned.
"I wasn't ready for this conversation back then. I was still a drunk, irrational mess. I went through hell—but I probably deserved it. Now I understand I had to hit rock bottom to truly see my mistakes.
"I detoxed from the hate I carried. I talked to someone who helped me realize that clinging to the past would get me nowhere. Their happiness finally tore off the blindfold I'd been wearing for so long. I understood that if I kept hating Jazmín and Christian, I would never be happy. It wasn't easy—far from it. I had to accept I had a problem with alcohol… a serious one."
He took a deep breath, trying to keep his composure. He couldn't fall apart now.
"I realized that back then, I wasn't ready for anything—or anyone. I pushed away everyone who tried to help me. But today, after all this time, I'm glad I made the right decision when I stopped drinking.
"I know you have the worst opinion of me, that you see me as the lowest scum on earth—and I don't blame you for that."
"I don't trust you," she confessed, and her words hurt him deeply. "I was afraid of you—and I still am. I always saw you as temperamental, lashing out, showing me only your anger…"
"And I regret it so much," he said quietly. "As I told you, if I could change what I did, I would. Your pain hurts me, even if you don't believe it."
She cried silently, her eyes fixed on a point ahead. Dominick stood up and sat beside her.
"I'd give anything to bring back the smile I took from you, Jade," he whispered, wiping her tears.
She thought about everything he'd said, analyzing his words. Even if it wasn't her fault and Dominick had acted horribly, she also knew she wasn't entirely innocent either.
"I know I'm asking a lot after everything that happened," he said, "but I need to know that you forgive me—that after all we've been through, I can finally live in peace knowing we could, for once, talk like this. No yelling, no insults." He took her hands, and she tensed.
"I forgive you, Dominick," she said at last, realizing there was no point in carrying that hatred any longer—it was only poisoning her day by day. "I do it because I'm tired of living like this. Because it's useless. I forgive you because, like people say, we all need to close the vicious circles that are destroying us. I want to move on. I need to become a better version of myself…" She paused, wondering if she was doing the right thing.
A tear slipped down her cheek. Deep down, she knew it was for the best—the cowardly part of her told her so. The part that still feared him, that imagined terrible reactions that never came.
"I'm sorry too, Dominick," she said, acknowledging her share of the blame. "No matter how much I want to blame you for everything, it wouldn't be right. We both paved our own dark road. We're both guilty for what happened—me, for giving in and arguing with you; and you, for drinking and starting every fight."
"Thank you," he murmured.
"I think there's nothing else to say," she said, looking out one of the windows. It was very dark outside. "Will you drive me back to the restaurant?"
Dominick nodded.
They both stood up and left the house in silence. They got into the car and drove away, just as they had arrived—only now the air between them was quieter, no longer tense.
Dominick kept thinking about what she had told him earlier: "After this conversation, I want you to leave the restaurant—and my life—for good. It's for the best. You and I can't be near each other…"
He clenched the steering wheel, frustrated.
When they finally stopped in front of the restaurant, the air between them had grown strange—not tense, but heavy. Neither knew what to say. Dominick got out and opened the door for her.
He walked her to the entrance, and they stopped there.
"I guess I should leave the restaurant," he said. She nodded. "It was nice seeing you again, Jade." He brushed her cheek.
"Goodbye, Dominick," she whispered.
"May I have one last boldness?" he asked with a faint smile, taking her hand.
Jade frowned, looking at their joined hands. A strange sense of loss filled her chest, and she didn't know what to do with it. What was happening to her?
"Yes…?" she murmured, but Dominick didn't give her time—not even a few seconds to reconsider.
He pulled her close, their chests colliding, and wrapped his arms tightly around her—the second time he'd ever hugged her. Jade froze, but the warmth of his body molded to hers. His scent—rich, intoxicating—filled her senses, and before she could think, she returned the hug.
They stayed like that for a few seconds while Dominick memorized the moment, believing it would be the last. Then he let her go, slowly, and their eyes met. Contrary to what he expected—though he didn't know why—he leaned forward and kissed her forehead.
Even after he released her, got into his car, and drove away, she remained standing by the entrance, wondering why she had expected the kiss… to be on the lips.
She turned around and walked back inside the restaurant, heading to her room with a bitter taste lingering inside her.
[...]
Saturdayz August 10th
Two days had passed since she and Dominick last spoke. He had come back only to cancel the contract—but as quickly as he arrived, he was gone again.
Jade had spent those two days in terrible spirits, feeling as if something had been left unsaid… something was missing.
She finished putting on her sweater and tied up her hair, frowning at her reflection. The roots were turning blonde again. No matter how many times she dyed it darker, the blonde always found a way back.
She sighed.
Grabbing her purse, she left the apartment to buy a few things at the supermarket.
"Hey, Isa, are you going out?" Casmin asked, closing her door.
Jade nodded and shut hers too.
"I'm heading to the store. Want to come?"
"Of course! Let me just ask my mom for permission. She's in a terrible mood—doesn't want me to go anywhere." The girl rolled her eyes and called her mother.
"I'll tell you in a minute… Yes? I'm going out with Isabel… Of course it's with her," she said, rolling her eyes again. "You're not going to let that go, are you? Let's talk about this later, I don't want to argue." She hung up.
"What did you do now?" Jade asked.
"My mom found me with a guy in my room. She completely misread the situation and embarrassed me to death," Casmin complained.
Jade raised her eyebrows as they went down the stairs and out of the restaurant. They got into the car.
"My mother has this fear—or trauma, really—about the idea of me having sex, so she's always jumping to conclusions," she sighed. "Always assuming the worst."
"What did she misunderstand this time?" Jade asked, knowing Casmin often gave Floren headaches.
"Well, I was in my underwear, and he didn't have a shirt on…"
"Casmin!"
"It's not what you think!" she blurted. "I'd just taken a shower, and he spilled juice all over himself. Klair is my best friend—and he's gay." She slumped against the seat.
"Well, it's none of my business, but… are you still…?"
"A virgin?" Casmin interrupted.
"Yes."
"Of course. I'm waiting for the guy I like to come back from the U.S.," she smiled. "Once he's back, Floren won't be able to stop me."
Jade smiled faintly.
What was she supposed to say to that?