If Tesah Clover insisted on doing this in public, then he would certainly get a scene.
"I have!" he snapped. "I've changed. I can't stop thinking about this baby. In my head, she's a dark-haired, green-eyed little princess in a pink tutu and white leggings, and she's been appearing in my dreams since Monday."
That made her pause and look at him. Really look.
His tie was crooked, she noticed absently. One white cuff stuck out slightly more than the other, one of his shirt buttons wasn't done up, his hair looked like he had run his fingers through it all morning, and he had cut himself shaving. Tesah Clover looked . . . disheveled. He looked like a man who had lost control of his life.
"In my mind, he has dark hair, your golden eyes, as well as your mouth and jaw, and he's wearing the world's smallest little sheriff's uniform. He can't walk yet, but he's grinning a big, drooly, toothless grin."
They were both silent for a moment, and her shoulders relaxed slightly.
"What do you want from me?"
"I don't know," he admitted, which was quite a confession for the usually confident Tesah Clover to make. "I don't think I'd be a great dad. In fact, I'm pretty sure I'll be terrible at it."
It was so similar to her own fears about the kind of mother she would be that she was surprised by the lack of confidence from a man who always seemed to know exactly what to do.
"But I was hoping to be . . . someone she knows?"
"This is such a huge change of heart, Tesah, and it's not at all what I want."
"I know that. I'm just asking that you allow me to properly take care of her, and that I get to see her sometimes."
"What does 'properly take care of her' involve?"
"Trust fund, private schools, good living conditions."
"No. You're trying to control my life and how I raise my child."
He just stared at her, his face frustratingly expressionless.
"Does this have to happen right now?" Jake asked pointedly, and they both looked at him in surprise, having completely forgotten he was there. He rolled his eyes. "It's starting to rain. And you, miss, have an appointment that you're going to be late for."
"Oh, crap," she muttered, before glancing sideways at Tesah, who looked back at her with an unusually sad expression.
"Tesah, you can't just show up here, tell me you've changed your mind, and expect me to be okay with that," she said. "I don't want you at my ultrasound. I don't think I want to share something so . . . personal with you."
"You're having my kid, lady," he reminded her, and Jake snorted. "It doesn't get much more personal than that."
"Jake's going in with me," she insisted.
"I don't have to." Jake shrugged. He looked at his fingernails and ignored the angry glare Kira gave him. "I'm squeamish. Blood makes me nauseous."
"Blood?" Now Tesah looked a little pale, and Kira wanted to scream in frustration.
"There's no blood involved. Jake, you're coming with me." She pointed firmly at Tesah. "You can wait for us, I'll . . . I'll see if they can give
you a copy of the DVD or something."
"You'd really do that?"
"Maybe."
What am I even doing here? Tesah sat hunched in a small, uncomfortable plastic chair, surrounded by women in various stages of pregnancy. They were all openly staring at him, probably wondering why he was in a pregnancy doctor's waiting room without a pregnant woman. He didn't understand what had made him come here this morning. All he knew was that, at random times over the past two days, the image of that tiny, toddling baker with the charming smile and sparkling green eyes had popped into his thoughts, making him wonder, imagine, and want to be better.
But he wasn't sure how much better he could, or wanted to, be. He and Kira were now strangers forever connected by this situation. He couldn't pretend there was anything more between them. His knowledge of the woman was very limited, and he didn't really want to get to know her, but he had discovered a strange desire within himself to know that baby. Because of this, he would have to find a way to reach a friendly agreement with Kira.
He had closed more difficult deals than this in the past. Every problem had a solution, and he was confident he would find the solution for this one too. He just had to find a way to convince Kira that his way was the best approach.
If only he knew what his way actually was.
"He drives me crazy," Kira complained to Jake as she lay down on the examination table as instructed by the ultrasound technician.
"Don't think about him now," Jake said. "You're about to see your baby for the first time. Where's your sense of wonder and excitement?"
Her eyes welled up at Jake's words, and she felt guilty for her initial hesitation in having him join her for this. He sometimes said and did the perfect thing at the perfect time. She should be excited, she should be amazed. She had been waiting for this moment since she had decided to keep her baby, and Tesah Clover wasn't going to ruin it for her.
She reached for Jake's hand, offering him a watery smile as Doctor Klein applied the cold gel to her abdomen and stomach. She gasped slightly at the unpleasant feeling.
"This is the transducer," Doctor Klein explained as she held up the wand. "I'll move it over your tummy to get the pictures. I'll measure the baby's size today so we can estimate the due date more accurately. We'll check the baby's heartbeat, make sure everything looks good, and . . . do you want to know if it's a boy or a girl?"
"No," Kira said firmly. "I want it to be a surprise."
"No problem." Doctor Klein smiled.
"Don't press down too hard with that thing, okay?" Kira warned, and Doctor Klein chuckled. "My bladder feels like it's about to burst." She wasn't feeling very comfortable at all, thanks to all the water she had to drink in the past hour to prepare for the test.
"You have no idea how often I hear that," Doctor Klein replied. "Are you ready?"
"Yes." Kira nodded and watched as Doctor Klein lowered the wand. "Wait."
Doctor Klein's hand stopped just an inch above her belly, and Kira sighed. She was such a soft touch.
"Jake," she whispered. "Maybe we should . . ."
"You want me to get him?" Jake asked.
"Would it be okay if we had someone else come in here?" she asked Doctor Klein, who raised her eyebrows before shrugging and nodding. "Jake, tell him he's not allowed to speak. He has to stand quietly at the door while I pretend he's not there."
"Mature," Jake muttered.
"Shut up," she replied without anger. It didn't feel right to leave Tesah sitting out there, even though she still didn't want him involved in her pregnancy. She was so confused and really just acting on instinct right now. After all, her own reaction upon finding out she was pregnant had also been disbelief followed by a complete rejection of the idea of a baby, but she had changed her mind, and nobody had judged her for it. Was it really so unlikely that perhaps Tesah also, after getting over the initial shock, now had similar feelings?
He had signed papers basically giving up his rights to this child, but would it be fair to enforce that document? It wasn't just Tesah she had to think about. She had to do the responsible thing and think about her baby as well. Surely having Tesah around would do more good than harm?
The door opened, and Jake came in with Tesah following meekly behind him. Kira heard Doctor Klein's breath catch slightly at the sight of him and felt a little sorry for her. Tesah Clover's strong physical presence was hard to handle without warning. Just standing there, trying desperately to look shy and unassuming, he gave off sexual magnetism and complete self-confidence. Seriously, it was like someone had put a leopard among house cats, and it turned Doctor Klein into a giggling girl.
"Okay," Doctor Klein said quickly, self-consciously tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "Are we ready now?"
"Yeah, go ahead."
"Right." Doctor Klein was all business again, despite the blush on her cheekbones. "Let's see what we can see."
She moved the wand around, pausing in some places, gliding over others, and Kira, Jake, and Tesah all stared at the monitor in fascination as the blurry image began to form right in front of their eyes.
"Ah, there we go, beautiful . . . Look at that little heart beating away." She pointed to a blurry, twitching spot on the screen and smiled, making a few notes before looking back up. "There's the forehead. And down here is where the nose is forming. Look at that little jaw and mouth."