My lungs tightened, my head flushed red, like a decaying dawn beneath the blood moon. My palm throbbed like molten lava, as if it were still happening… but now only the rope's friction mattered, slowly wearing me down. My hair, tied in a ponytail, clung to my face like crazed tentacles from the sweat. I shut my eyes, my forehead tensed, as if doing so could push away the tormenting reality. My teeth clenched, barely letting air into my body.
The pressure kept building. It wanted to tear me apart. But human perseverance is boundless. When we get close to failing, something ancient awakens inside us: we charge headfirst into chaos as if loss didn't exist. We'd rather melt into failure than let it swallow us. We vanish embracing defeat – but at least we don't retreat.
— That's enough.
The voice was firm.
The pressure eased all at once. Uriel dispersed the mist swirling around me. I collapsed, gasping, into the soft belly of the flower-filled meadow. The rope I had clung to dropped beside me as if it too felt relieved. I heard a sigh.
— I'll say it again. This rope is so you don't lose each other in there – beyond the mist. — Uriel's voice was calm, but icy. — Even when it's hard, you must hold on. You mustn't let it drag you. You control it. Not the other way around.
He spoke coldly, like a master… but someone who no longer truly cared. Someone who teaches because he has to – not because he believes in it.
I saw the faces of Dave, David, Elis, Emily, and Michael. They had let go of the rope before me, so it tossed them aside.
— Those who let go are already dead. — Uriel continued, eyeing the others with scorn. He clasped his hands behind his back, staring at them. — When the mist fades, perhaps you'll crawl out like sewer rats – but I've got bad news. The mist doesn't fade in there.
— Thank you, Mr. Sunshine, truly inspiring words! — Elis snapped, brushing the grass from her clothes. She was a little afraid to speak to the Ruler like that, but after weeks of humiliation, I understood her.
The others — David, Dave, Emily, and Michael — struggled to crawl out from the cascade of flowers, tangled among the grass blades and daffodils.
The man's eyes grew even grayer.
— I've been trying to drill this into you for months. — he went on — Hold the rope. Don't let go. You lead it, not the other way around. It can only hold you together if you stay whole yourselves.
His words sliced through the air like blades.
— You knew full well that going beyond the mist wasn't a luxury vacation. The weak get lost in there. — He looked over the team, then at Emily. — That girl didn't even touch the rope, and she was already two meters away from it.
Emily lowered her gaze, shrinking with shame.
— That's enough of this tone! — I stepped forward firmly.
But Uriel didn't even glance at me. He just stared at Michael with a gaze like stone.
— And you! It'd be nice if you didn't let go of the rope only after everyone else already has. At least someone needs to stay in control!
— It's not that heavy for me. — Michael replied quietly — If I keep holding on, the mist drags the others away. With all due respect, I'm trying to save everyone. I won't leave anyone behind.
Uriel curled his lip with something like contempt.
— Interesting thought. But do you really want to save someone, or just perish together? Because with that heroic act, you're ensuring the whole team gets swallowed by the mist. I can't be there to hold the rope for you.
— Maybe we couldn't even fit near it with your massive ego. — Michael hissed, and I stepped between them.
— Fighting gets us nowhere. — I said softly.
Uriel looked down on us like we were nothing. Like a know-it-all who's only here because someone forced him. Though he volunteered.
— Enough! — Alice cut in angrily. — We've been stuck in this dream for months. Every single night is about getting humiliated by this… ruler. He's supposedly helping, but he looks at us like, and I quote, sewer rats. Where's the help in that? Where's the selflessness? I can't even feel the rope in my hand anymore. I wake up more exhausted than I was at night. And now we have to leave at dawn, but if we can only hold the rope for half a minute, what's the point? I love you, Avarka — she looked at me — I see you as a sister, I want to help, but this way we'll just be soul-snack or worse, toys for demons.
— Elis, I understand. I truly do. — I said quietly, guilt weighing on me because I'd pulled them into this. I'd created a suicide squad out of people I'd never want to harm. I looked at them with tired but honest eyes. — I understand all of you. And I don't expect you to follow me.
— We tried — I heard Emily's quiet voice, growing fainter. I had never seen them like this. They were tired, drained, even Michael. He just looked in silence, but that said everything.
Everyone was silent. No one wanted to end the conversation, and no one wanted to continue it either. Slowly, they drifted away like dream-shreds. Everyone wanted rest, and only two of us remained: Uriel and I.
The man said nothing; only my voice was carried away by the wind.
— Seeing the others suffer shattered my soul. — My tired voice was soft. — I'm selfish.
— Why do you think that?
— Not once during preparation did I think of Chloe or Zach. I keep telling myself I'm doing it for them. But it's like I forgot why I even want to go in. I didn't care what I did, as long as I didn't have to be in reality. — My voice broke as I sat down in the grass. The man followed my movement. — Gabriel's been distant every day, like he's avoiding me too. — My eyes darkened.
— I renounce my marriage!
The Ruler looked at me in a way I'd never seen before.
— That would be sacrilege. If you renounce it, you break the promise of your existence. You weren't just married for this life. For your eternal existence too—
It was as if… his voice trembled. Just for a moment.
— Maybe I should've done it from the start. — I said. — I was afraid I'd be banished to the deepest part of the mist. So I grabbed the helping hand, held onto whatever I could, but if it's meant to happen, it will. Running out of fear always makes me do the stupidest things.
Uriel nodded. His coldness sent chills through me.
— I'm glad you realized that. But know this: from now on, the responsibility isn't just yours. If you break your marriage, Gabriel suffers too. The bond can only be truly dissolved if one soul ceases to exist. Or… if Gabriel loses his rank, disappears from the face of the Earth, and over time, a new soul is formed from him. Perhaps, after millennia, he might be worthy of the angelic title again.
— That's horrible! — I hissed. — It's horrible just to hear.
—You should have thought of that when you gave yourself to him. Playing with fate is never a wise decision.
—If I had known it could end up like this, I never would've gone through with it.
—That wouldn't have helped either. Foolish decisions are your specialty.
My breath caught. Who does he think he is? I knew from the moment I first stood up to him that he was an arrogant idiot. I stood up, frustrated.
—I was stupid to let you help… You were just toying with us the whole time. It's pathetic. Your silly tale about our "sanctuary" and your pitiful kisses. You enjoy watching Gabriel live in your shadow while he's the one who put your empire back together.
—Don't push it. You're tired and weak. And you know nothing about the order of my world.
I didn't even hear him—I just kept going.
—Other people's lives are just theater to you. You know what I am, but you say nothing. You know what I've been through, and you still won't tell me the truth.
—Don't start this.
—You enchanted me. From the beginning. Your scent, your eyes. Your voice. You danced me closer on purpose. You gave me an illusion to long for—but no value, only loss.
—You're getting personal. Don't continue if—
—If what? Get out of my head, and don't come near me again! Don't play the savior when God knows where you've been hiding. I could've been there for him more, but you never gave me a moment's peace to even exist!
My eyes burned blood-red as I stared at him. Words sharper than the last flew from my lips like blades I couldn't hold back. And then I stopped. A sharp pain shot through my skull. Uriel's pale, empty gaze was staring back at me.
—You're welcome.
That was all I heard.
The next moment, my eyes flew open. I tilted my head to the side, and the flowery wallpaper screamed at me where I was. I sat up, disoriented. My questions came crashing into my mind like fresh guests.
Had I dreamt it all? Why am I in the vacation house in Italy?
The answer came rushing up the stairs.
—Jesus! I thought you were going to sleep through your whole life!
Elis, with her usual feminine flair, leapt onto the bed. Her eyes were full of curiosity.
—Do you know what happened? —I asked, frightened. Nothing made sense anymore.
—Gabriel said you just fell asleep and wouldn't wake up. Then… —she paused.
—Then? —I looked at her with wide eyes.
—Then you told him in your dream that you wanted to leave… and not to touch you. Needless to say, that didn't sit well with him. Someone was keeping you in the dream, and Gabriel figured out who—it didn't help the situation… So we all thought it best to bring you here, at least until you woke up.
—I need water! —I blurted, flustered. I grabbed a glass of water, then jumped up to wash my face. I should've guessed it was a fabricated dream. It had been too fast, too messy.
As I stared into the mirror, the anger flared up again. Uriel… He showed me what could be. He's probably proud of himself. But now the consequences are mine to bear.
—Gabriel's arriving soon —Elis poked her head into the bathroom. —We told him…
The water turned to ice on my face.
We walked quietly down to the familiar living room, where the leather armchairs sat in perfect precision just like before. At the creak of the wooden stairs, Clara and John turned to us in unison.
I was tired, confused, scared, and weak. I felt the tension in my bones. Reality is always more oppressive than a dream. John was already confidently pacing, waiting for the convoy. Clara looked at me with concern, then wrapped her arm around mine.
—Don't worry, dear. Everything will be fine. If you don't want to go back, we won't give you to him.
I smiled weakly. It felt almost like Gabriel was the bad guy and I was running from him—but that wasn't it.
You know that moment when you think about something so much it just happens? And at the end, you try to explain it away, but it's pointless. This was that kind of moment.
It could've been beautiful… if my heart listened to my head. But the muse of life never was reason.
The sun hadn't completely left the sky, but its farewell was clear. The sky turned orange. Just as my stomach finally calmed for a second, a fleet of cars sent a fresh wave of nerves through me.
—Sir! They're here! —one of Clara and John's guards stepped inside.
—Open the door! Let them in! —John said calmly, though his strained face betrayed his unease.
No more words were needed. Boots thudded, scents filled the air. A flood of figures in dark clothing poured into the room. Loud, yet silent. But he entered differently.
Like a shadow. Like a blackbird fallen from a tree, stripped of wings.
A sharp pain pierced my heart.
He was broken, disheveled, weak. The always-cold, balanced, well-dressed, decisive man was now a shadow of himself.
It hurt to see him like this.
The moment he entered, his gaze found mine.
John, Clara, and Elis stood protectively around me. I could feel they were ready to act if something went wrong.
Gabriel only looked at me softly, deeply.
—May we talk?
He reached out his hand. The men in dark suits stepped back on either side, making it clear the path was open. I gave Clara and the others a reassuring glance, then walked toward him.
Outside, only two guards stood. They didn't follow. We walked side by side, closely.
—You don't have to be afraid.
His voice was thin.
I looked at him. His face was so close I could see the pain that wasn't just mine—it was his too.
—This isn't right —I whispered. My voice felt strange. Too quiet. Too fragile.
—I know —he stared into the distance— I thought maybe… maybe this time it would work. In this life. In this eternal life. I thought you'd be the one I wouldn't lose again.
Because you were always there, Avarka. Through your last five lives… —he laughed bitterly— When I thought the fire in me had finally gone out, you came.
And you just looked at me with those greenish eyes, and somehow made me smile.
Even when there was no reason to.
I couldn't move. My legs were rooted to the ground, and my soul even deeper. I just stared at him. Something inside my heart was screaming, but no sound came out.
—When I first saw you on the stairs in this life, I promised myself I wouldn't come near. Wouldn't give you false hope.
But when you kissed me… —he paused.
I wanted to know what he was thinking, his side of it all. He wasn't someone who talked about feelings often.
But I didn't want to hear it either. Every word was a blade, and I was already full of wounds.
—I believed this… could be something. That we could be something. But now I see…
—his voice shook— I see that your path is different. Not mine.
Your soul can't be held by chains, not even if they're made of gold and forged from love.
I… I should've let you go long ago. But I was selfish.
I thought… if you stayed just a little longer…
—Don't say that —I whispered, trying to reach for him. My hand stopped halfway— Please…
—My greatest fear —he continued softly, deeply, almost to himself—
was that I'd never find my twin flame.
That I'd remain a lonely archangel forever.
The others thought I was above such things. But I always believed.
That somewhere… someone would choose me too.
But that's no excuse to chain you to me forever, not if you don't want that.
He fell silent again. The quiet froze between us.
Then…
He slowly pulled out the blade.
—Gabriel… —my voice died like wind before it touches the trees. I started to tremble.
—I should've stopped myself the moment I first felt what your name meant to me.
But it was already too late.
You had already become my home.
The blade gleamed in the sunset. A shard of the sky itself.
I knew what he was going to do.
My soul understood before my mind did.
—No… please! —I grabbed his hand, trembling, clinging to him, one last time— Don't do this! It doesn't have to end like this! We can figure it out!
—But this is how it must be —he said quietly— You feel it too.
That your fate lies elsewhere.
If I let you go now… maybe years from now, we'll meet again.
As lovers, or siblings, or friends—or something else entirely.
You'll always be a smile on my lips, even at the edge of the grave.
—You can't give up your existence, what you are.—I screamed as I grabbed his hand.
But he just smiled. A smile that burned into me forever.
– I've lived too long in glorious light, in full awareness. Everyone deserves a new chapter.
And the blade was already in motion.
I didn't scream. The world screamed for me.
Gabriel knelt. He didn't bleed. Divine beings don't bleed the way we do. But his eyes… his eyes were watering.
I collapsed to him. I held him as he closed his eyes.
—They will cast you into darkness, but I won't let you be lost.—he whispered again.
I could barely see his face through my tears.
– My rank… I let it go. My soul… it's on a new path. But one morning… I'll return—he whispered before his body dissolved into light. – Because I was born a divine being. And I will remain divine.
My hand was left holding nothing. I stood, dazed, tears soaking my face, staring into the nothingness. I didn't deserve such a sacrifice.
Someone shouted at me: —Avarka! Move!
It was David's voice. Dave and Emily were there. Michael too.
They ran toward me at full speed.
But I didn't move.
I just stared at the place where Gabriel had vanished. Where a god had chosen me, and then let me go. I didn't sense the distance, the space, or time. I was lost in the present.
Someone grabbed my arm. Elis. Her eyes were red, but determined.
– They're coming for you — she said. — The convoy is already on its way. We can't leave you here. Those who brought Gabriel are all gone.
—Gabriel wanted this, to buy you time.—David took over from Elis. —But there's not much time, the palace people are coming for you.
—They want to take you, Avar…—Emily stammered, horrified.
—Guys, get here now, we need to go.—John screamed.
I wanted to say that I wasn't here anymore. I was nowhere.
But I just nodded.
They pulled me toward the car in panic.
Clara looked at me, terrified.
—Elis, come, let's get her in, wash her face quickly.
I heard, felt, knew I was going, but I didn't comprehend it. As the water touched my face, my tears stopped.
Elis held my hair, Clara washed my face, and I broke into a bitter sob.
—She won't come back… I sniffled… she won't appear at the door… not this time. They'll take me where I belong…
—Don't say that, darling, you won't go there, we won't let you.—Clara's eyes were wet too.
—She's an angel. A divine being. So much more than me… and I killed her…
—You did nothing, she chose this!
—But in the council's eyes, I'll be the murderer, and in my own too.—I trembled, clutching my head, collapsing to the ground.
—Stop this!—Elis bent down to me. —You're not a murderer, but we need to go!
I just stared at the door. Somewhere deep inside, I waited for it to open, and for Gabriel's cool gaze to look through it. For his sea-blue eyes to show fear, but also hope, for me. For him to look at me, hand me the dagger, then say: You've lost. This was not a fair fight, soldier!
—Hurry up!—John yelled, the convoy has left Rome, they're not far!
Elis grabbed my hand and dragged me behind her as she ran.
—Mom, the weapons! At least two!—Elis's voice cut through the walls of the room.
—There are four left, but just enough to get to the border.—Dave tossed one over to Elis.
—At the border, we'll shake them off at the intersection. We'll go on with three cars from there.—David countered.
—We're taking Avarka north.—Michael inserted the clip into his weapon.
They quickly jumped into the car, adrenaline and fear palpable, but for me, all of it was just quiet noise against the screaming inside me.
—Damn!!—Elis hissed in shock. —I see two cars! How did they get here so fast?
—They're the council's people.—Clara answered coldly. —John, turn off the engine!
—Why?
—Turn it off! Please!
John did so, and the car's engine stopped. We all understood. The last rays of twilight were hidden by something, or someone.
—They came in angelic form…—Elis's voice trembled.
There was no comfort for me now. I was there in body, but in spirit, I was destroyed. Perhaps the screams that came next brought me back to attention. Not screams, but a roar coming from above. The crying organ of the heavens.
It was so loud. So sharp. That we all froze as we got out of the car.
—Heaven mourns. The archangels have come down.—Clara whispered.
—My brothers haven't been on Earth for millennia…—Michael gazed at the sky in awe.
As we scanned the sky, a few cars circled us. Two lieutenants got out. Then Dahlia… Her voice made the sky tremble.
—Soldiers! Grab her and take her to the border! She leaves the Holy Land today.
She didn't even look at me. She didn't say my name. No harsh or offensive remarks. Her voice destroyed, yet trembled. Her eyes were tearful.
Even if I didn't kill him with my own hands, Gabriel the Archangel, the messenger of the heavens, I still felt guilty.
And when I saw that broken woman, who had never shown the slightest emotion on her face, I trudged behind with my hands bound, weak, like a murderer.
The murderer of the heavens.
Dear mind readers,
One season of the book has come to an end. If you would like to see what happens to Avarka on the other side and want a continuation, please let me know! If I don't receive any feedback, unfortunately, I will have to close the series.
Meanwhile, I warmly recommend my new book, The Edge Of The Mind. Although it's not fantasy, it's full of mysteries, CEOs, romance, and much more.