Catherine laid face down in bed, she was exhausted but was far too restless to take a nap.
There was an attempt to do things that would normally pass the time, reading, journaling, and playing the piano, but she couldn't concentrate on anything for more than ten minutes.
That last one would especially be a problem. There was a piano lesson today and Catherine was woefully underprepared. Still, the only thing she could manage to do about it was flip over on her back and stare at the ceiling.
You'd think something particularly troubling would've happened to put someone with such a fiery deposition into this sort of state, but no such incident had occurred.
It had been two days since school started, and everything was progressing normally.
The classes weren't particularly riveting, but Catherine would've taken anything over the incessant speeches that she'd been subjected to.
None of the subjects posed any trouble in terms of study, and even though it was still early days Catherine was fairly positive that the school year would be a breeze.
The suitors weren't even giving her problems. Oscar tried to, but Catherine was able to shut him down before anything went off the rails, Emil was still keeping to himself, and the prince was MIA.
Finally, Elise Wright still hadn't arrived at school, so Catherine didn't have to start worrying about that until tomorrow.
No, expectedly the thing clouding Catherine's mind was Alice. She just couldn't stop thinking about her.
The noble wasn't operating in full denial mode, she'd reluctantly acknowledged that ignoring her feelings on the matter wasn't going to work, but she still tried her hardest to contain them for the past few days.
Shocker, it didn't work. Catherine thought to herself.
One thing the young noble kept coming back to was why she'd been endeared to Alice in the first place, it was something that couldn't be accounted for and it frustrated her.
She supposed that love at first sight wasn't a completely unheard-of phenomenon, even if it was cheesy. It could've also been an initial physical attraction, but that seemed somewhat unlikely. Alice was by no means ugly, but she didn't exactly stand out in a crowd.
What else could it be though? It's not like I talked to her at all beforehand.
The point that Catherine knew of Alice's personality from Love and Malice couldn't be madebecause Alice Moore and her game counterpart were two completely different people.
Scratch that. It'd be inaccurate to say that the game version of Alice even resembled a person.
She was little more than a series of dialogue options for the player to pick, nothing but an avatar for the player to vicariously live out their fantasies.
Hell, I couldn't even remember the name Alice Moore. I always just changed it to my own. Thought Catherine
There was another theory. Before Claire had inhabited this body the Catherine before her was merely an NPC, mindlessly following her singular goal of antagonizing the main character.
This wasn't dissimilar from the suitors who similarly followed a certain set of criteria. However, they all enjoyed the status of the main characters, so of course it would stand to reason that they would be compelled to take notice of Alice.
Maybe since Catherine herself wasn't an NPC anymore she'd also share that same "spark" as it were.
"But wait, isn't every character in the game a 'real' person now?" Catherine thought. "It certainly doesn't seem like everyone Alice comes across is falling head over heels."
Catherine's head was starting to hurt, it wasn't an unfamiliar feeling.
Back when she first 'arrived' in this world migraines would often come following excessive bouts of trying to square how this was all possible.
The best solution to the problem of her migraines was accepting that this was reality now, there was no getting back to where she'd come from, so what was the point in fretting over it?
The situation was similar to her feelings towards Alice. Whether it was truly "love at first sight" or because Moore was the game's heroine, it didn't matter. That wasn't even the issue in the first place.
The initial spark of attraction would've no doubt dissipated if Catherine could've distanced herself from the commoner girl, but unfortunately, there was no way to do that.
In a sick twist of fate, the developer's initial intentions of ensuring that the player couldn't get away from the Villainess meant that Catherine was trapped with Alice.
Which was an issue, since the commoner girl was a very endearing person.
Catherine thought the girl was fairly meek at first, but it didn't take long for Alice to come out of her shell.
In reality, she was quite plucky. Maybe a teensy bit airheaded when it came to social interaction, but Catherine couldn't help but find that cute. Not only that she's academically gifted, polite, and easygoing.
I wonder if all of her traits from the game were boiled down into the perfect girl. Catherine Thought.
Catherine stopped, realizing that she was daydreaming of Alice again. Grabbing one of the pillows she smothered her face, before groaning loudly.
The worst part of the whole thing was that no one to talk to about it! Her family was out of the question, she didn't even want to talk to them about the weather.
The obvious choice would've been Elizabeth. Unfortunately, as far as her doting maid was concerned Catherine was still madly in love with the prince. Even if she thought it was a loveless arranged marriage the conversation would still be quite the bomb to drop on the poor thing.
Hey Elizabeth, you know how I'm supposed to be marrying the prince? Well, guess what? I've fallen for a commoner…oh also she's a girl.
That was another thing, would Alice even accept you know…a woman?
Things would've been complicated enough if it was a man Cathreine was dealing with, but this just brought on a whole other layer of complication.
Catherine aggressively threw the pillow that had been lying on her face.
God damn it, How do I deal with this? I don't even know where to start!
She brought a hand to her chest before grasping her locket. Catherine fiddled with it a bit before it opened, gazing at the two pictures inside the forlorn girl let out a deep sigh.
I wish either of you were here right now, I could use some guidance.
"Miss Catherine?" A voice suddenly came through the door.
The sudden presence of another person made her jump. She snapped the locket closed before getting up and opening the door.
"What is Elizabeth? I'm busy."
Catherine stated the bald-faced lie as if it were nothing.
"Sorry Ma'am, it's just that Miss. Morris is here for your lesson."
"Damn it, definitely not what I need right now!" Thought an exasperated Catherine.
"Very well, tell her I'll be down in a moment."
Elizabeth nodded before heading off to accomplish her assignment.
Catherine just stood there not knowing why she'd sent Elizabeth off. She hadn't actually been doing anything, there was no need to delay Edith.
Am I that desperate to avoid doing anything today? Am I truly content with acting like a child?
She steeled her resolve and headed down the flight of stairs.
Besides, I'm sure my mood won't affect my playing that much.
***
"Alright-, alright enough!'" Cried, Edith
The piano teacher was generally very patient with her pupils, but this outburst came at the end of a series of increasingly sour-sounding notes.
"If I didn't know better I would've suspected that you've never played before," Edith stated matter of factly. "At the very least it's worse than when you started."
Catherine didn't get indignant, or even say anything cheeky. She just stared at the keys with a blank expression.
Edith sighed, before putting a hand on the young noble's shoulder.
"All right, what's wrong?" She asked sympathetically.
"What makes you think anything's wrong?" Catherine replied sharply
"Even if you haven't been practicing at all there certainly hasn't been enough time for your skills to degrade this much." Edith pointed to the sheet music. "Besides, it's clear you know the notes your fingering is just off."
Catherine looked toward the bay window, there wasn't anything outside to garner one's attention. Miss. Moore's pupil was simply uncomfortable returning her gaze.
This shocked the piano teacher. Catherine had always carried with her an air of superiority. Not that the girl was rude to Edith or anything, rather it was merely evidence of an extremely bold and driven attitude.
Edith was seeing a different side of her today, and it was a drastic change.
Did she think I wouldn't notice? It's practically night and day!
"Alright out with it, sitting here in silence isn't improving your piano playing any, so you might as well get whatever it is off your chest."
Catherine suddenly got out of her seat. Moving swiftly to the bay window she cracked open, and soon enough she was at her cigarette case.
Taking a drag she weighed her options. Miss. Morris hadn't been a part of her life for long, but she was clearly dependable, it was unlikely she would go blabbing to other people about her pupils' secrets.
At least Catherine hoped so, because there was another huge point in her teacher's favor. She was the only person in her life that was outside the situation.
Catherine made her decision.
"If she blabs I can always just use my influence to paint her as a liar." Catherine thought about it more. "I'd probably strip her of any status while I'm at it, just to be safe."
"You understand I'm meant to be marrying the prince, correct?"
"Yes?" Edith responded hesitantly
Catherine unconsciously used her free hand to fiddle with her hair.
"Maybe, I should preface this with the fact that the prince has never loved me, not even for a moment."
She stopped fiddling her hair and took another puff of the cigarette.
"It's only natural that I should stop loving him, correct?"
Edith realized that she was perhaps getting more than she bargained for.
"In some regard, I suppose so." Edith stated cautiously, "I understand the marriage was arranged. It's unfortunate, and-. Well, I beg your pardon in my saying so Miss. Blackwood, but it's somewhat natural that those turn out to be…platonic."
"There's more to it than that," responded Catherine.
Of course, there is, Thought Edith.
"Honestly it would be fine if it were only a 'loveless marriage'," Catherine paused for a moment. "Never mind, it wouldn't 'be fine', but at least it would be far more convenient."
Catherine tapped the mouthpiece of the filter on her chin.
"I've- How do I say-, I like someone else."
Edith was silent for a moment stunned at the gravity of the revelation. In the meantime, Catherine finished her cigarette and was reaching for another one, but Edith put up a hand before she could.
"You best give me one of those."
Catherine was surprised at the request but was more than willing to oblige. She replaced the stub in her filter, before handing Edith her own cigarette. Striking a match the young nobel lit the piano teachers then her own.
The pair sat in silence before Edith spoke up breaking it.
"This person, did you meet them at school?"
"Yes."
"Lucky boy," Edith said sarcastically.
Catherine did not correct her on the gender, the conversation was already tense enough.
"Do you love them?" Edith asked softly.
Catherine thought for a moment.
"I'm not entirely sure how to answer that, it's only been a few days after all."
"Well, how do you feel about them?"
Catherine's face was starting to flush, it was quite naive to think that the conversation wouldn't deviate into this area, yet she still wasn't prepared for it.
"I really…enjoy their company."
"That's it?" Edith asked. "The same might be said about an acquaintance."
Under normal circumstances, Cathereine's face was almost white, but now it resembled a distinct shade of crimson.
"You're right, I'm downplaying it. The truth is…I feel-, I'd say comfortable I suppose? It's hard to put it into words, but I'm certainly happier around them."
Now we're making some tangible progress. Edith thought.
"Would you say that you're "happier" around them more than anyone else in your life?"
Catherine rolled her eyes.
"It's not much of a contest, but yes."
"And how does it feel to be apart from them?" Edith asked.
Catherine was about to answer, but Edith raised her hand up to stop her.
"Before you answer let me guess. I'd say every moment you're not with this person, you're wishing you were with them. Because being away even for even a second, cuts you deep to your core, It clouds your mind, your better judgment, and frankly, it's a nuisance."
Catherine didn't even need to answer the question, the look on her face had already done it.
"Well, I'm sorry to say Miss. Blackwood but it appears that you're head over heels."
"I was afraid of that," Said, Catherine with a sigh.
Truthfully she already knew, but hearing another person confirm it only solidified things.
"Well then, what should I do about it? Moreover, what can I do about it?"
"Well-,"
But Edith was cut off before she could continue.
"This stupid engagement to the prince. Engaged to a man that would rather have nothing to do with me, meanwhile my cowardly father and feckless brother's influence will grow ten-fold, while all I get is a wall between me and the person I want to be with!"
Catherine's fiery temperament had finally returned to her, she was raging now.
"I'm always left in a situation where my hands are tied at the behest of other people. What am I? Just some object to be tossed about for the benefit of those around me? All because they're 'kin'. Well, if I had the choice they'd be no kin of mine!
Catherine sat back down at the piano seat, her sudden fiery spirit was starting to dissipate.
"I'm completely sick of it, It's just…"
She trailed off at the end, the temper had completely gone, and melancholy found her once again.
"It's just not fair," Catherine said quietly.
Edith who had been listening quietly during the tirade finally spoke up.
"It rarely is," Edith responded matter of factly.
She looked Catherine dead in the eyes.
"I have to admit your situation is especially…problematic. I couldn't even say I'd blame you if you chose to roll over and do what was expected."
This wasn't the response Catherine was expecting at all. Using the phrase "roll over," it almost seemed like Edith was making fun of her.
"Well, you seem to know so much, why don't you explain to me a brilliant scheme to get out of the whole thing?" Catherine said with a venomous tone.
"Brilliant schemes? Oh no, nothing springs to mind. Like I said, from a surface level the book appears to be closed."
This is not what the distraught girl wanted to hear, Edith could tell by the expression on her face.
"Don't give me that look, this is something you need to listen to," said Edith.
"Oh, thanks. 'Sorry, it's hopeless.' Great pep talk. Why'd you even bother asking what was wrong in the first place?"
"You misheard me, I said that it appeared as if it were hopeless. Now, I wish I could give you a magic bullet that would solve all your issues, but I'm no miracle worker. I'm just a piano teacher."
She pointed to Catherine.
"The situation is up to you, and maybe you won't be able to do anything. From the sounds of it, that might be the case. The thing is if you don't do anything. Even if it amounts to useless flailing, you'll at least be spared any regrets."
By the tone in Edith's voice, it sounded as if she was speaking from experience, but Catherine thought it best not to pry.
The piano instructor got up as she spoke.
"Regardless of what you decide to do, I sincerely doubt we're going to make much progress with your lessons." She gestured to the piano. "We'll call it here."
Edith looked at Catherine sadly.
"I hope you take what I said to heart. It's your hands now, but just know that sometimes…things don't work out. All you can do is try your best."
Miss.Morris put out her stub in one of the decorative ashtrays, she thanked Catherine for the cigarette before heading out the door.
Catherine stood there for a moment unmoving, suddenly she sprung into action!
Leaving the living room she headed back up the stairs, it was time to formulate a plan.