Location: The Guild Marketplace – Early Morning
The marketplace in the center of Solencia was bustling with activity. It was an ordinary day—or at least it was supposed to be. Stalls were lined up with all sorts of goods, from cured meats to glittering trinkets, but the real spectacle was happening near the heart of the market. A massive banner, flapping in the wind with the words "Hiroto, the Merchant God!" written in bold golden letters, hung above the central square.
Hiroto, who had just stepped out from his apartment with an intention to find some peace and quiet, found himself face-to-face with an absurd sight. People were gathered in a circle around a large statue—no, not a statue. It was a monument, painstakingly carved in his likeness, holding a teacup aloft, the embodiment of a god of commerce.
He rubbed his eyes. He had to be dreaming.
But no, the banner above him confirmed it. Hiroto, the man who just wanted a nice cup of tea and maybe a nap, had somehow become a divine figure of worship.
"Guildmaster Hiroto, welcome!" a voice rang out from the crowd.
He turned to find a short, eager man wearing a robe made entirely of receipts—yes, receipts—approaching him with a hand outstretched. His face was a mixture of excitement and reverence. Hiroto blinked, but the man continued.
"Greetings from the Order of the Ledger! We have been awaiting your arrival!" He nearly shouted. The crowd murmured, a chorus of whispers filled with admiration.
"Um, what?" Hiroto said, his voice flat, the deep confusion setting in. "Did I miss a meeting or something?"
The man in the robe leaned in conspiratorially, as if sharing a state secret. "We have formed the Church of the Infinite Balance. And it all began with you! Your unyielding dedication to the consumption of tea, your brilliance in managing resources—our followers believe it's a divine gift. They are already calling you 'The Teacup of Providence.'"
Hiroto looked around. The people in the crowd were all dressed in similarly bizarre robes, each emblazoned with what looked like a stylized teacup and ledger book. A few waved coins at him like holy relics, while others just stared at him with fervent awe.
"Look, I'm not… I'm not any kind of god," Hiroto said, stepping back. "I just want to sit down and drink tea. That's it."
But the crowd wasn't listening. A woman with a silver teapot placed it carefully at his feet and knelt.
"Please, Great Hiroto, bless this humble teapot so it may deliver the perfect brew to all who seek your guidance!"
Before he could respond, a booming voice called from behind him. "Hiroto the Merchant God has graced us with his presence! Praise be to his infinite wisdom!"
Hiroto froze. He turned, only to see none other than Cardinal Elgar, the man who had previously denounced the Order of the Ledger, now standing in the center of the marketplace. Elgar's normally somber expression was replaced by something resembling wild enthusiasm as he held up a gilded chalice filled to the brim with tea.
"We must thank Hiroto for his divine gifts," Elgar boomed, raising the chalice. "The world's economy will be forever changed under his rule! From tea taxation to bun subsidies—his laws will reign supreme!"
Hiroto's face twisted in exasperation. "This is insane."
---
Location: The Guildmaster's Office – Midday
Later that afternoon, Hiroto was seated at his desk in the Guild Administration Hall, staring at the piles of scrolls and paperwork in front of him. None of it made any sense anymore. The amount of official paperwork he had to go through had only multiplied since the "Merchant God" debacle. Now, every town, village, and guild in the kingdom wanted him to bless their tea supply or issue a decree on bun distribution.
A light knock at the door interrupted his thoughts.
"Come in," he called.
Virelya entered, her face lined with both concern and amusement. "I trust your day is going… well?"
Hiroto buried his face in his hands. "Virelya, I don't know what's happening anymore. How did this even happen? How did I go from 'Clerk Hiroto' to 'Merchant God'?"
Virelya crossed the room and sat down opposite him, her eyes gleaming with curiosity. "Well, it seems that your… tea policies have caught on more than you realize. People are calling it 'divine guidance.'"
"Divine guidance?" Hiroto let out a strangled sigh. "I just wanted everyone to share cookies and drink tea, not create a religion!"
"Well," she said, tapping her fingers on the desk, "perhaps the problem is that you're not embracing your new position. The followers of the Order of the Ledger seem very devoted to you. They might be willing to follow your every whim."
"Exactly," Hiroto muttered. "But I didn't want this! I don't want any of it! I just wanted some peace. Why are they making me a god?"
Virelya raised an eyebrow. "Perhaps they're just trying to elevate your social position. Or perhaps you're just that effective at what you do."
"I'm not a god, I'm a clerk," Hiroto snapped, pushing a pile of paperwork aside.
"But," Virelya added slyly, "it does have its perks, doesn't it? You have their loyalty, their resources. You could be king of the world if you wanted."
"Not this again," Hiroto groaned, rubbing his temples. "All I wanted was tea."
She chuckled lightly. "True. But you might as well enjoy it while it lasts. They'll need you to either lead them or… well, you could always run away again. But we both know that won't happen."
Hiroto let out another groan, slumping further into his chair. "If I could just… vanish for a while and let them figure it out, I would."
Virelya smiled. "Well, maybe it's time to embrace it, just a little. You could make some changes from the inside."
Hiroto looked at her, deadpan. "Changes? Virelya, I don't even know where to start. Do I start drafting economic policies for prosperity? Or do I issue decrees on how many buns are too many?"
Virelya gave him a playful grin. "Why not both? Make the world a better place, one teacup and bun at a time."
Hiroto sighed, rubbing his face again. "So this is my life now?"
Virelya's grin widened. "Welcome to the life of a god, Hiroto."
---
Location: The Order of the Ledger Temple – Evening
That evening, Hiroto found himself standing at the grand temple of the Order of the Ledger, the very center of the newly formed religion. The towering marble structure, adorned with golden teacups and ledger symbols, seemed both surreal and absurd. People knelt before his statue, whispering prayers to "The Teacup of Providence."
He couldn't believe it. A crowd of people—some dressed in fine robes, others in simple aprons—waved at him as he walked past.
The high priest, a portly man wearing an apron embroidered with the words "Blessed by Tea," approached him, hands outstretched.
"Great Hiroto! Your followers await your blessing!" The high priest's voice was full of reverence. "We wish to hold the Grand Tea Ceremony in your honor!"
Hiroto stared blankly at the man. "I… don't even know what that means."
The priest bowed deeply. "Please, sir, the people have gathered to hear your words."
---
And so, Hiroto was dragged onto the stage. He faced hundreds of eager followers, awaiting divine wisdom from the "Merchant God." He swallowed hard.
Looking at the sea of hopeful faces, Hiroto exhaled slowly.
"Fine," he muttered, holding up his teacup. "One sip for prosperity."
And so it began—his unlikely reign over a people who saw him not just as a hero, but as a god of trade, tea, and tiny buns. Despite every fiber of his being screaming at him to run, Hiroto was now part of something bigger—something completely, utterly, and absurdly out of his control.
But if there was one thing Hiroto was good at, it was rolling with the chaos. And tea.