I woke up on a soft couch. A thin blanket was draped over me, but even under it I was unbearably hot. Drowsily, I shrugged it off and sat up. A terrible pain shot through my head. I felt like I was trapped in some strange dream. I was enveloped by the twilight, heavy with the heat of the summer night. I tried to stand up, but my legs gave out and I sank back onto the couch.
Suddenly I heard a rustling sound, and quick, quick footsteps approached. In the light of a candle held by the figure that appeared beside me, I recognized professor Axel.
"Just sit. You're completely worn out. I brought you here after you collapsed at my feet. I thought it would be better for you to stay with me for a while, so everyone wouldn't immediately bombard you with questions. Right now, just stay calm, I'll bring you something to drink."
She was turning to leave when my hand suddenly shot out and grabbed the edge of her shirt. I stared wide-eyed into the darkness as memories of recent events flooded my mind. My head began to spin again, and my stomach churned.
"I… I… I killed him…" I stammered, shaking my head in shock and disbelief.
"Calm down, alright? Take a deep breath and tell me what happened," professor said gently. She sat beside me on the couch.
"I killed him," I whispered. Then, the rest of the story came tumbling out of me in gasps. When I finished, there was a long silence. Only the chirping of cicadas drifted in through the open window.
"Esme," the professor finally said, "what you did was self-defence. If you hadn't done it, you wouldn't be here. You simply defended yourself."
"I killed him, I killed him," I repeated over and over, like in trans.
Professor Axel took my face in both hands and looked me straight in the eyes.
"Calm down," she said the word firmly and decisively. "You need to settle down and look at the whole situation with some distance. You are not a murderer. And more importantly, I want you to know something about that Batui. You may have heard about it already, but he bullied a lot of kids. Everyone was too afraid to do anything about it because of his name. He was a cruel sadist. It was only a matter of time before he did something like this." She rolled up my sleeve, revealing a burn scar she had treated while I slept. "And it could have ended much worse. I don't want to downplay what you did, but I'll say this—I'm very glad I can sit here with you now, Esme. So, I'm glad you're safe… even at such a cost."
I didn't know how to respond. I just stared at her in shock, and then suddenly threw my arms around her waist, burying my face in her. For just those few moments, the cruelly grinning face of Kerluk Batui, now the blank expression of a corpse, stopped haunting me. I was still clinging to the professor when I looked up at her and whimpered fearfully, "What's going to happen to me now, professor?"
"Don't worry, I'll think of something, I promise," she nodded encouragingly. "I know this will be hard for you, but you can't stay here. Sooner or later, someone would find out. Your friends know you went to the baker and that you always take the path through the garden, and most importantly, Nekenghem saw you. It would be too risky to try and move the body. Someone might see us, and as a professor, I can't get involved in something like that."
"You're already too involved! I don't want anything to happen to you. I'm not worth that kind of risk."
She shook her head. "I've already decided to help you, Esme. I just won't expose myself to more danger than necessary."
"Why? Why go so far for me?"
Her eyes clouded over with memories. For a moment, she just sat there, staring into the distant past. Then she looked at me and smiled in a strange way.
"I remember how one student of mine asked me something similar a long time ago. She also felt lost and betrayed by life." After she said that, she paused again, as if something had dawned on her. A spark lit in her eyes, and she whispered to herself, "That's it. That might be exactly it."
I looked at her in confusion, but she quickly stood up and marched to the table, where she sat down in a chair and began to write something.
"What… what is it, professor? Did you think of something?" I asked.
"Yes, you could say that. I remembered that student I just mentioned—and where I sent her."
"Why did you send her somewhere?"
"That's a long story, but maybe one day she'll tell it to you herself. Though I'm not sure she's any less grumpy than she used to be," she added with a laugh.
"And who is she, and where am I going?"
The professor finished the letter, placed it in a velvet-white envelope, and warmed sealing wax over her wand before pressing a winged doe seal into it. She handed it to me, saying, "This morning, a ship named Skylark is leaving the harbour. It's almost absurd how much this mirrors that day five years ago. I might even start believing in fate! Anyway, I'll write another letter to the ship's captain. We've known each other a long time, so he won't say no. Your destination is the island of Kalkha, far in the northern sea. And the person you're looking for is named Mnou, the witch Mnou."
I was completely confused and terrified by how quickly everything was unfolding. Just a few hours ago, I was in my room with my friends, excited for another year of study, and now… now I was all alone, fleeing into exile for murder.
Professor Axel quickly ran to the costume room to fetch me some plainer clothes, so I wouldn't stand out in my bright blue school uniform.
I sat there in despair, watching as the sky slowly brightened and the outlines of ornamental fir trees began to appear beyond the window, their pine scent tickling my nose. I wondered what my new life as an exile would be like. What kind of person would that Mnou be? I had the overwhelming urge to just get up and go back to my room, where my friends were surely already waiting for me. We'd play and laugh together again. We'd eat that cake I went to get. Wait, I realized—I never actually got the cake. That little errand had destroyed my entire life. I would never see my friends again.
I began to quietly sniffle, but just then the door creaked open, making me jump in fear, and in came professor Axel. I quickly wiped my tears and tried to calm down. I put on the clothes she brought me. They fit perfectly. There was even an old witch's hat, which was rarely worn in Ashkan anymore, but I happily packed it in my travel bag.
The teacher handed me the letter for the captain and explained where to find the Skylark. Then she tapped the wall next to the large bookshelf several times, and to my great surprise, the wall slid away silently, revealing a dark passage.
"You probably didn't know this—few students do—but Ashkantt is riddled with secret passages like this. Some say they're magical and shift like a labyrinth, but that's just legend. The truth is usually much more mundane than we hope or wish. They were built during the occupation of Virsel by the Bashaari army. And when was that?" the professor raised an eyebrow in a question.
"From 1488 to 1500," I mumbled uncertainly.
A smile lit up her face. "Absolutely right. Just like in the textbook—except for a tiny detail. The occupation technically ended in December 1499, but yes, it's commonly rounded up to 1500."
I had to smile too. That was so typical of professor Axel. Only she could find mistakes in history textbooks. Suddenly it hit me—I didn't want to leave. I wanted so badly to stay, to spend time with my friends and attend professor Axel's lectures. I couldn't take it anymore. I started to cry. I stood there in front of the dark passage, cold air pouring out of it, and I wept. Then someone pulled me into an embrace.
"Esme… you have no idea how much I'm going to miss you."
I mumbled something like, "I'll miss you too," and once more buried myself in her warm hug. Then I slowly pulled away.
"Good luck, and stay strong—and above all, stay who you are. The world would lose something truly precious if it lost your beautiful smile." The professor nodded encouragingly and stroked my hair. I could see she was on the verge of tears too. "Now go, or you'll miss your boat."
I stepped into the dank, foul-smelling cold corridor and looked back. Professor Axel was already just a dark silhouette against the growing light of the room. Then she vanished in an instant, like behind a curtain, as the wall slid back into place. I was alone in the darkness. But inside me, an unexpected resolve was born. I lit a magical flame and stepped forward, toward a new tomorrows.