Simon's POV :
I had been following the emotionally and physically hurt boy for the last five minutes. Though he first sprinted, his legs eventually gave up, with lazy footsteps he just wandered and wandered until the tranquility of the greenery gave him a sense of peace.
Finally he settled on a bench in the hospital park where patients were given a momentum of fresh air. His shoulder shook with all the crying, he was continuously wiping his tears and they seemed to be as stubborn as him. A nurse who seemed to be returning from dressing a patient was passing by me and I took the opportunity to retrieve the kit bag for a while which she gladly handed over to me.
Striding quietly with careful steps I took the other side of the bench and the weeping boy immediately came over to me. Keeping his head on my shoulder, clutching my sleeves for more support, Jasper cried more.
Uncontrollable wails only turned into more unrestrained one, and I could only hold his hands tightly to let him know that he wasn't alone. Probably half an hour later, only quite sobs remained. The shaking of his body still present. My overcoat stained with his uncontrollable tears only made the throb inside my heart more intense.
Softly caressing his back, I tried to soothe him, "there, there, Jas. You're strong. Don't break yourself to this extent."
Heaving a deep sigh, I admitted, "it hurts to see you like this you know. Your cute dimpled smile suits you the most and you look ugly when you cry."
With a fake scrunch of my nose, I conveyed my fake disgust.
And immediately he left my body which he was using as a life support. Hastily wiping all the tears, he retorted with a hoarse voice, "whom are you calling ugly?! I'm definitely not that person!"
Chuckling lightly, I completely disagreed, "yes, yes you definitely are that ugly!"
"Simon!!!...."
He seemed to take it to a serious note.
And I immediately surrendered, "okay, okay. You aren't ugly. You are always the happy ray of sunshine after every rain, fresh, content and charming."
"What's all with that rain, sun and sunrays?" Still sniffling, he asked through a broken laugh.
Quite taken aback by his quick comeback, I only commented, "nothing... just."
He doesn't need to know what does his actions do to me, definitely not when he has already suffered a heartbreak. I just hope that he regain his solace in himself again. Of course it'll take time, but I know he'll come around and I'll make sure he feels loved in the time being. This clash with Felix had already taken toll on his emotions and he'll not be opened so easily. But that doesn't mean he'll have to lock himself in this heartbreak forever.
"Now, now, crybaby, lend me your hand." Breaking the stuffed silence, I asked for his wounded hand.
"Why?"
Completely caught off-guard, he asked.
"Just think of me asking your hands for marriage."
Trying not to break into a smirk, I voiced out with the most serious expression ever.
His drooping eyes immediately snapped wide at me, scrutinizing my every move.
Then his eyes filled again, his lips trembling, almost in a whisper, he retorted "Simon!..."
"Your knuckles are bleeding idiot! I need to treat them!"
Not wanting to upset him more, I just pointed out the fact.
While treating his wound, I pried softly, "what boundaries were you talking about?"
"Simon, I don't..."
"Just talk it through Jas. The more you dwell on this, it'll hurt you more."
Looking directly at his glossy eyes, I gave him an assuring nod.
Heaving a deep sigh, he started with a trembled voice, "ever since I met Felix, I had this crazy crush over him, but he always had seen me a friend, a brother most probably and he always claimed that he had someone else in his heart..."
Heaving another exasperated sigh, he continued, "since I had never seen the person, I never truly trusted him and one day he finally confessed that he had feelings for second prince Hammond..."
With a broken chuckle, he paused again, only to start the next second, "that seemed more unbelievable. There was no chance of them meeting directly, how could they even have this chemistry between them? But today what I saw....it just shattered the fragile hope I had been nourishing all along... I just can't take it the way it is...Simon.... just tell me what did I do wrong for getting this heartache?"
This time, at least he didn't break down and I was much relieved.
With the most soft voice, I tried to convince him as positively as possible, "Jas, you know Felix is not that type of person who will hurt someone intentionally. And here the person in question is you, a very cherished person in his life. It's only for your good, he clarified the truth. Love isn't something that you can force upon someone. And Felix isn't definitely someone who will take these emotions casually. You understand what I'm talking about?"
"I understand! Simon, I just witnessed my first crush kissing someone else..."
"And that someone else is the person whom your crush loves!" I completed his point.
"Exactly! And I don't know how to accept it! At least Felix could have thought about me before doing that infront of me!"
His mind was going disarray now.
"Does that change anything?" I tried to reason with him.
"No."
Averting his gaze, with a pout, he finally acknowledged. Hope this works.
Maybe one or two more minutes passed, when Jasper broke the comfortable silence, "thanks. For being patient with me and uplifting my mood. I really do feel a lot relieved."
"Anytime."
With a soft warm smile, I looked at him and he really looked shining.
"Tell me something, how do you get these ideas? To keep someone's emotions in such balance and reasoning side, must be really hard and you just elaborated it with such ease. So who made you realise this balance? Who is that lucky person?"
With a mischievous smile, he pried and it took a while for me to get the question correctly and immediately panic settled in my system.
However, someone interfered and saved me from the situation, it was some student from the general medicine department who came to find him as the professor was looking for him. Thankfully I was safe for the time being and Jasper finally left for his class and that in a much optimistic mood.
About two or three more minutes later, when I decided to leave for my resting day as well, someone approached me with cautious steps and I exactly knew who it was.
"Nicholas already left?"
With a soft sigh, I asked.
"Hmm. He has his Major classes."
Felix replied with the same small voice, his face unreadable.
"Don't worry, Jas will be alright. He just needs some time. You know he has a pretty much strong mindset."
"Hmm."
Again came the monotone. And I knew he was already beating himself inside.
"Lixie, stop blaming yourself already! It's not your fault that he fell for you and it's definitely not your fault when you decided show your feelings to the person whom you actually love."
"That still doesn't change the fact that my attachment with him in the past has caused this much impact on him and that affected your life too."
His eyes set ahead, as if he is ashamed to meet my eyes, voice still heavy with guilt, he finally responded with the truth through and through.
"Lix! What are you even talking about me?!" Taken aback, I couldn't help myself from asking.
"Your feelings for him, Simon."
He finally turned to me, meeting my widened eyes, he added, "the way you look at him as if he is some shining star and your Earth only acknowledge him, I know that look too well."
"Felix, first of all stop blaming yourself, it was solely his choice and he has learnt his lesson and about me, don't worry, I have my own way and my own pace to work on it. Just as I said, he needs time and I have the whole life to wait for him, unless someone tries to kill me again."
I tried to sound as convincing as possible.
Hopefully that worked, as with a small smile, he encouraged me, "all the good lucks to you with that then."
"Still, avoid showing your affection infront of Jasper for a while now or you'll just rip open the wound again and again." With a stern yet soft tone, I warned him.
"Roger that, your highness!" He gave me a freaking salute.
A few minutes of silence and I decided to break that.
"So, Nicholas? Huh?"
An inevitable smirk playing on my face and Felix's face immediately coated with a soft red tint, looked so much soft and cute.
As he nodded, I reminiscent our past years of friendship. Yes, I had been a very close friend with Felix since my college days in Gyanlo and I decided to call it close because we stick to eachother no matter what, despite our family background, despite his thousands of secrets and traumas, we still prioritise our friendship all over that.
The friendship I have with Nicholas is like a second soul growing inside me. Yes we had been detached from eachother for the past few years when he just decided to vanish from my side but still that didn't waver the synchronisation we felt, as if knowing what the other needed the most without spoken aloud. Nicholas has his own traumas to dwell, his mom, his childhood sweetheart, a sweet happy family ruined just in a single night and he isn't still used to it.
"You know, him and I have been close friends since high school days?"
With a genuine smile I asked.
"Hmm. Nicholas talks about it a lot. And he also said that he regretted leaving you clueless about everything."
"He is already making it up to me. Even to that extent where I regret forgiving him!" With an annoyed expression, I remarked.
"You're joking, right?"
Almost incredulous, he asked me.
"Of course I'm joking! He just became the better version of himself for the last few months. He talks a lot, laughs freely, shares his troubles, not to mention he definitely had become a lot clingy."
With a light chuckle, I informed him. Felix looked really surprised. Didn't he already know?
"Is that so?"
His eyes reflecting pain, his voice genuinely curious.
"Hmm. Why? Does he behave differently with you?"
"A few differences actually. Yes, he talks a lot now, but carefully. He laughs, but to a measured extent. He did share his troubles a few times but at the same moment he confirmed if he had caused any inconvenience to me. He never gets clingy to me, as if I'll just get annoyed by him and leave him."
The more he elaborated, the more he looked distraught.
"Lixie, he is afraid of loosing you! You know, he still blames himself for his mother's disappearance and Felix's absence in his life!"
With a exasperated sigh, I tried to make him understand, realising a few seconds later whose name I've taken.
"Felix...umm...the other Felix...he..."
I hesitated. I didn't know how to handle that topic. It should have been Nicholas talking about this. What have I done now? Did Nicholas ever maintain about that boy at all?
"... Nicholas's long lost childhood bestfriend for whom he still has a tender feeling in his heart."
Voice almost like a whisper, he conquered my hesitation.
"He already told you about Felix?" Genuinely surprised, I asked him.
"He has mentioned that name a lots of time but never opened up too much. As I told you he fears of offending me."
Just like before, his eyes stared at the distance as if he was lost in a deep contemplation.
"Then how do you...wait, since when did you even start growing feelings for him? Cause from the very beginning of your meeting nothing went pleasant at all. So, since when?"
Anticipating an honest answer I held him captive with my prying eyes.
"Since ever."
Eyes glazed with utter sincerity, he didn't even hesitate to reply immediately.
Quite shocked and caught off-guard, I stared at him with utmost awe. He is in that extent of love and we never realised it!
"Simon, I need to tell you a truth."
Breaking my trance, he started with the most serious expression ever. And I knew he was about to disclose a lifelong secret about himself.
"That you're a spy from The Knights..."
"I'm Felix Lawrence..."
We both stared at eachother for a good minute, before reacting in the same time.
"What?!!!..."
"How do you know that?"
Again staring at eachother for a good second and making sure no one was going to talk together, Felix finally initiated, "how do you know that I'm a spy?"
And I kept staring at him only to match his current look with the painting, Nicholas had made of his Felix. If you look really closely, there's only a little similarity in the eyes, except for that nothing matches at all. This 22 years 5 months old Felix doesn't match a single trace of that 12 years old boy. His nose was almost blunt, his lips not so perfect shaped, his hair not blonde at all, most importantly that birthmark on his left cheek! Where the hell is that?!
"Simon! I asked how do you know I'm a spy?"
Breaking my reverie, he asked again with a really urgent anxious voice as if knowing it was a trouble to him.
"Oh com'on, Felix! I'm a Kaiser royal for heaven's sake! I have my two older brothers at the top post of that very spy organization. You thought I won't know your route of connection with them?! You've underestimated me a lot, I see."
With almost a smirk, I countered.
"How long?"
The urgency didn't leave his tone.
"Since I came here after that Gyanlo incident. Why are you so panicking? Don't worry, I won't break this to anyone, not even to Nicholas."
Never breaking the stare at him, I assured him.
Only then he finally relaxed. And I couldn't help but confess, "I didn't expect you to be him at all. You know? If Nicholas has ever cherished someone after his mom, that person is you. And I know you have your reasons for hiding all these from him."
"Simon... I..."
Voice laced with heavy remorse, he struggled to speak.
"You're just keeping him away from harm's way. I know that, Lixie. At least after experiencing an almost death situation myself, I understand how you feel. It's just that don't keep him in dark for too long or he might feel deceived."
Sincerely, I tried to ease up his struggle and thankfully that worked.
"Don't worry, I'll tell him the truth, really soon." Determined, he affirmed his agenda.
"You better do as you say. I won't take your side when he'll be hurt. And I'll make sure you feel as much dejected!"
With a serious warning I looked at him.
"I'll gladly accept that if I ever fail to confront him." With a quite voice he accepted the threat.
A tranquil silence engulfed us as we decided to just digest the impact of a brutal confession and absorbing the very confession.
"Thank you, Simon."
Felix's utmost soft voice echoed again. As our eyes met, he added, "for understanding me."
And I could only give him a much appreciated smile, that he finally trusted me enough.
"There, there, if your heart to heart conversation is done, can you both please meet Steve for a moment!"
A very known voice spoke just behind us, successfully startling the hell out of us.
"Brother! Next time don't give surprise like that!" Clutching my own heart, I retorted.
And Tristan almost rolled his eyes as Felix stared at him with amusement.
"You knew he was here?"
Incredulous, I asked him and to my dismay Felix actually nodded with a wide grin.
"Tristan, you heard everything, right?"
He asked my older brother as if they had some kind of hidden deal within them and I could only watch them.
"Yes, I heard everything and I don't blame you at all, Lixie. I should've known that my little precious brother has grown up." Ruffling my hair, my older brother responded.
So they were hiding the whole thing intentionally?! But why do I get this feeling that they're hiding much more!
"So I was kept out from the whole thing just because you guys thought that I was still little?!" Really disappointed in them, I remarked.
"Simon, we were just protecting you." With an amused smile, Felix mumbled.
"And now that you've already known everything.... welcome to the world of The Knights!" Putting his hand around my shoulder, my brother gave me a light pat.
"You guys are unbelievable!"
"Trust me, we all know that!"
The audacity of him agreeing with me so nonchalantly and Felix laughing out loud.
"Now, before the whole Knights come searching for you two, you better get going to Steve's personal chamber. And don't ask me why he is searching for you two."
"But it's my resting day! I was up the whole night and now I want to sleep!"
As we made our way to my oldest brother's chamber, a really bothersome thought creeped in my mind ; our father's true intention.
If my brothers knew what our father was upto then why didn't they confront him already?
"Tristan, the Gyanlo incident...did our dad really try to kill me just because I accidentally discovered something forbidden?"
Before I could apprehend what situation we were in, the question left my tongue.
Pulling me inside the room, Felix first closed the door, Tristan genuinely looked panicked for a moment and Steve who was deeply engrossed in some paperwork immediately stood up. Only then I realised what I have said and thankfully we were already inside Steve's personal chamber.
However it was Steve who broke the palpable tension, "no Simon, dad never wanted any of us dead. The attack on you in Gyanlo was planned by the Hammonds. For all these years dad distanced himself from us only because he wanted us to be safe and secured. And we misunderstood his motives all along."
His voice laced with deep remorse.
"But the Hammonds are in good terms with the Kaisers! Why would they...."
Seeing their more tensed posture, I trailed off.
Steve immediately turned to Tristan, "who on earth told him about these?!"
His blazing eyes didn't leave Felix too.
"I knew these by myself! Brother don't blame Felix or Tristan for this." I interfered.
"Simon, it's much complicated than you think! Things aren't that straight with the Hammonds anymore. The king Hammond...he is not the old king Hammond you knew. This new king Hammond seems to be a complete different person maybe he isn't the king Hammond at all!"
Steve heaved a shaky breath. Then with a soft warm voice continued, "And that's why we are keeping out as much people as possible. But it seems like we are already in deep trouble."
"Does prince Christopher know about it?" Voice almost a whisper, I couldn't hide the thick layered tension brewing up in me.
"Yes, he knows. And he is helping us as much as possible."
"What about Nicholas?"
I can't even imagine how will he take this blow. His whole world will be crumbling down if not completely vanishing.
Steve shared an understanding gaze with Felix, only to answer later, "no, he doesn't know. But I'm pretty sure his sources will inform him sooner or later."
"And you guys will just wait and watch him getting hurt over and over again!"
My voice trembled despite the fact that I felt frustrated.
"Simon, you know how will he react if he comes to know the whole truth right now? He'll just make a head on encounter with the king!" Felix's almost choked voice resonated and I stared at him with utter helplessness.
He was hurting too, he knew what he was doing would end up hurting both of them the most, still he chose to hide, he chose silence.
"Lixie!"
"Just this month. Give me only this month. Everything will be revealed to him. And we'll make sure we're prepared for the outcomes."
Banning his emotions to show up further, he requested.
And I could only nod in agreement.
Turning back to Steve I asked, "why were you looking for us anyway?"
Seeing me back to my normal self, he visibly relaxed, "I am asking you to accompany Felix today."
Both Felix and I looked equally puzzled.
"Why? It's my resting day! I want to sleep!"
"I'm not stopping you from taking rest! Just, watch over him for the day."
"Is that some kind of mission now?"
"You can take it as one."
Chuckling softly, Tristan suggested.