"Hmph... hmph..."
As Kamizuki Hikari arrived, Tsunade lightly sniffed the air, then frowned.
"You've been drinking!"
That was her first sentence.
[Damn, her nose is sharper than the Inuzuka's!]
"Why didn't you invite me?!"
[Lady, if I went out for drinks and debauchery, would it be appropriate to bring you along?]
"Did you bring me any?"
[I could just say I didn't bring any. Heh, bet that'd piss you off!]
Hearing Hikari's inner monologue, Tsunade smirked coldly before shamelessly frisking him.
"Hey, hey! What are you doing?! Broad daylight, clear skies, and you're molesting a handsome man like me? You pervert!"
"Alright, alright! Here, take it! Just take it, okay?!"
With a resigned sigh, Hikari pulled a bottle of sake from his storage seal and handed it over.
Tsunade accepted it, gave it a quick sniff, then disdainfully set it aside.
"This isn't what you were drinking. Hand over the good stuff!"
Hikari: I—
Fine!
He reluctantly pulled out another bottle—deer antler sake—and watched as Tsunade took a satisfied sip. His heart ached.
This was something he'd worked hard to swindle from Shikaku.
"So, what did Shikaku and Kakashi want when they called you over?" Tsunade asked after another sip, smacking her lips approvingly. "This is the Nara clan's secret deer antler sake. Judging by the quality and age, they must've used the finest ingredients. They really went all out for you, huh?"
[No wonder I felt a reaction even with my physique—this stuff is potent!]
Considering his own physical resilience, Hikari couldn't help but pity Shikaku. No wonder the man had bolted when he'd asked for two more bottles.
This had to be expensive as hell.
"Nothing much. Shikaku just said you should stop focusing solely on external affairs and pay more attention to what's happening behind your back." Hikari paraphrased the message.
Tsunade's eyes narrowed slightly before she nodded and took another swig.
"I know how stubborn they are about power, but I never thought they'd prioritize it over Konoha itself. One wrong move, and they'll drag the entire village into the abyss."
Seeing the village her grandfather had built being tarnished like this—of course it didn't sit well with her.
If she could, she'd smash every last one of those traitors into the ground.
But she couldn't.
As Hokage, she had to play by the rules.
"Fine. I'll handle it."
Gulp!
Gulp!
After downing the entire bottle, she handed it back to Hikari. "If you've got nothing else, go refill it with water."
"Don't tell me you actually think that'll magically turn it back into sake?"
"Of course not. If something like that existed, I'd have stolen it already. No way you'd get your hands on it." Tsunade said shamelessly.
"I'm saying it'll at least still smell like alcohol."
Tch.
Hikari didn't even know how to respond.
Did Tsunade think he was some kind of drunkard gambler like her?
Mentally scoffing, he turned and headed home.
For him, today had been a relatively peaceful and pleasant day. At the very least, nothing major had happened.
As for the issues with Iwagakure and Kumogakure? That was Tsunade and the higher-ups' problem.
He was just an ordinary chūnin, content to laze around and coast through life.
Another blissful day.
Though... he still had manuscripts to finish. Time to get back to work.
---
Three hours later...
*BAM! BAM! BAM!*
Violent knocking shattered Hikari's concentration, instantly souring his mood.
"Whoever's out there, you'd better have a damn good reason for this, or you're dead!" The incessant pounding had obliterated his inspiration, worsening his already foul temper.
Creak—
The door swung open, and a figure immediately lunged at him.
"Whoa—sneak attack, you little—Tsunade-sama?! What the hell?!"
"Just so we're clear, you threw yourself at me! I'm a gentleman—no funny business here!" Hikari raised his hands in surrender, emphasizing his innocence.
"Hehe... Hikari-chan~ Long time no see! When'd your hair get like this?" Tsunade slurred, her hands groping his face as she swayed unsteadily.
"Cut the act. A medical-nin getting drunk? Not buying it."
There was no way a master of medical ninjutsu like her would actually be wasted. She was definitely faking it to mess with him.
"Giggle... I'm not drunk. Totally sober."
Her wobbly stance said otherwise.
"Alright, what do you want? Spit it out." Hikari scanned the area—no ANBU, no spies—before wrapping an arm around her to keep her upright.
"I'm sleeping here tonight!" She pointed past him into the house.
Hikari glanced between his room and the woman in his arms, feeling like he was facing the ultimate test of willpower.
Tsunade, throwing herself at him?
What man with a pulse could resist?
"No. I'm calling Shizune to take you back."
For the sake of his dignity, he clenched his teeth and steeled his resolve.
(Hikari internally screaming: Does anyone understand my pain?! This is Tsunade! Tsunade, offering herself to me!)
"Don't call Shizune! I made her work overtime today—she's busy." Tsunade draped her arms over his shoulders, resting her head against his chest. "I'm the Hokage. You're my subordinate. I said I'm sleeping here. Now move."
"Fine."
Hikari stepped aside—
And Tsunade promptly face-planted toward him.
At this point, he couldn't tell if she was genuinely drunk or just putting on an elaborate act.
If she was wasted, well... that explained things.
But if not, this was one hell of a sacrifice.
"Whatever. There's a bed inside. Sleep it off. I've got work to do."
-----
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