Kim walked into the café, feeling a nervous knot form in her stomach as she spotted Ryan sitting at the corner table, casually flipping through the menu. She had tried to convince herself that everything was fine, that meeting him again would be just like any other lunch with a colleague or acquaintance, but there was something about Ryan that made her pulse quicken every time he smiled at her. She tried to ignore the feeling, telling herself to focus on the simple act of getting through the afternoon.
"Hey, Kim," Ryan greeted with a warm smile, standing up as she approached. "You look great."
Kim returned the smile, though it didn't quite reach her eyes. She was still trying to calm the nerves that were fluttering in her chest. "Thanks, Ryan," she replied. "You look good too."
They sat down, the waiter arriving promptly to take their orders. As he left, the conversation flowed naturally at first—light chatter about the café, what she'd been up to since their last meeting, and the projects she had at work. Kim kept things surface-level, cautious about diving deeper into anything that could make her vulnerable.
Ryan, however, seemed to be genuinely interested in her responses, nodding thoughtfully as she spoke. She couldn't deny that he was a good listener. It was rare for her to feel heard, especially by someone who wasn't a close friend. She found herself slowly relaxing as the conversation moved forward, but she remained careful not to let anything too personal slip.
As they ate, the conversation eventually drifted toward more personal topics—careers, dreams, and the difficulties of balancing life and work. Kim tried to steer things back to safer ground, but Ryan was persistent, probing gently for more.
"So," Ryan began, casually taking a sip of his drink. "What do you do when you're not working? Any hobbies or things you enjoy outside of your job?"
Kim paused, unsure how to answer. It wasn't that she didn't have hobbies; she just hadn't thought about what she did for fun in a long time. She'd been so consumed by work and keeping herself busy, she hadn't made space for anything else.
"Uh, I guess I enjoy reading," Kim said slowly. "But honestly, I don't have much time for that these days. It's all work, work, work." She gave a light laugh, trying to brush off the bitterness she felt toward her constant workload.
Ryan raised an eyebrow. "That sounds exhausting. What about spending time with friends or just... relaxing?"
Kim's smile faltered for a second. She hadn't really talked about her friends with him before. She didn't want to admit that she kept most people at arm's length, even those closest to her. Her friends didn't pry, but Kim had always shut down anything related to personal feelings. If she let herself relax or get close to someone again, it would mean giving up control, and that was the one thing she wasn't ready to surrender.
"I have a good circle of friends," Kim said, her voice careful. "We catch up sometimes, but I guess I don't really think about... downtime as much. I just focus on getting through the next day."
Ryan studied her with a soft expression, as if he could see right through her carefully constructed walls. He didn't push any further but seemed satisfied with her response.
The conversation shifted again, this time toward the future. Ryan asked her what she saw herself doing in five or ten years, and Kim found herself staring at her plate, unsure how to respond.
"I don't really think that far ahead," she admitted, her voice quiet. "I just focus on what I can control now. The future feels too... uncertain."
Ryan didn't push her to explain further, but his eyes softened with understanding. "I get that. But you know, sometimes it's okay to dream. To think about what could come next."
Kim nodded absently, not trusting herself to say anything more. Instead, she reached for her glass of water and took a sip, trying to ignore the unease building in her chest. She wasn't ready to dive deeper. She couldn't be.
Just then, her phone buzzed. Kim reached for it, relieved to have an excuse to break the tension. It was a text from Audrey.
Audrey:"Hey, how's lunch with Ryan going? Hope you're having fun! Dinner plans later?"
Kim quickly typed back: "It's going fine, just a little... busy. Dinner sounds good though, I'll catch you later."
She tucked her phone back into her bag, noticing that Ryan was looking at her with a slight grin.
"Audrey?" Ryan asked, his tone light. "You two seem pretty close."
Kim raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, she's my flatmate. We've been friends for years."
Ryan smiled. "I get the feeling you've got a good group of people around you. That's nice."
Kim nodded, but she couldn't help but feel a twinge of discomfort at his words. She'd never truly let anyone close to her, and even with her friends, there were walls she kept in place. Ryan didn't know that. He didn't know how much she kept to herself, how afraid she was of getting hurt again.
After they finished their meal, Kim stood up, trying to act like everything was fine. "Thanks for lunch, Ryan. I should probably get back to work."
But before she could gather her things, Ryan stood too, walking with her toward the door. She glanced back at him, her heart racing slightly at his proximity.
"Hey, Kim," Ryan said casually, "I had a good time. Maybe we can do this again sometime?"
Kim hesitated for a moment, her mind swirling. She couldn't quite get a read on how she felt about Ryan yet. Maybe he was just being polite. Or maybe he was genuinely interested. Either way, it was a risk she wasn't ready to take.
"I'll think about it," she replied, a small smile tugging at her lips. "Thanks for the lunch."
He nodded, giving her an easy smile. "Of course. Take care."
Kim walked away, her mind racing as she tried to process everything that had happened in the past hour. She wasn't ready to let someone in again. But something about Ryan—something in the way he made her feel comfortable, like she could breathe around him—made her think that maybe, just maybe, it wasn't so bad to try.
Later that evening, after she'd finished her work and had some time to relax, Kim found herself glancing at her phone again. She hadn't expected to hear from Ryan, but as she unlocked the screen, she saw his name pop up with a text.
Ryan:"Had a great time today, Kim. I'm really glad we could do this. Let me know when you're free again."
Kim bit her lip, unsure how to respond. Part of her wanted to shut the door right then and there, to end things before they even had a chance to begin. But another part of her—one that she wasn't ready to face—wanted to keep talking to him.
She typed back quickly.
Kim:"I had a good time too. I'll let you know when I'm free. Take care."
She hit send, but as soon as the message was sent, a strange feeling settled in her chest. She was afraid of what might happen next. She was afraid of him getting too close. But for the first time in a long time, a tiny part of her was starting to believe that maybe, just maybe, it was okay to take that risk.
As Kim laid down for bed that night, her phone buzzed once more. She looked at the screen and saw that Ryan had responded.
Ryan:"Looking forward to it. Sleep well, Kim."
Kim smiled softly before turning off her phone and closing her eyes. For the first time in a long while, she allowed herself to feel hopeful, even if just for a moment.