"So, where should we go play first?" Hu Tao asked, placing her hands on her hips and looking around, as if talking to herself.
She hasn't even thought about that? Qin Yu thought, just as Hu Tao turned to her and asked, "Fishy Treasure, what do you think?"
"Me? Whatever you want..."
Though Qin Yu had accepted Hu Tao's invitation and come out, she had no particular plans in mind, figuring she would just go along with whatever Hu Tao wanted.
Qin Yu's laissez-faire attitude made Hu Tao shake her head.
"Cheer up! I'm your 'girlfriend' now... Wait, am I your 'girlfriend,' or are you mine?" Hu Tao suddenly looked perplexed.
Qin Yu didn't mind either way; it was just an experience, after all.
"It's all the same, right?"
"No, it's not. Think about it—in a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship, the boyfriend usually comes across as more assertive, while the girlfriend tends to be more demure."
Qin Yu thought about it and realized that this impression was indeed true.
"So?" she replied casually, while carefully scanning her surroundings.
Normally, when meeting Hu Tao outside, Qin Yu maintained her "character persona." Now, having to switch between roles felt unnatural. Her lack of experience made her uneasy.
Hu Tao analyzed earnestly, "But now that we're both 'girlfriends,' it's hard to tell who's supposed to be assertive and who's supposed to be demure."
After hearing this, Qin Yu sighed helplessly, "Does it even matter?"
"What if I said you're the demure one? Would you still not care?"
Qin Yu bristled instantly, retorting, "No way!"
"Really?"
"Of course! I'm definitely not demure."
Qin Yu preferred taking the initiative over being passive, so she refused to admit to such a role.
Of course, whether I'm proactive or passive sometimes isn't up to me... Qin Yu thought, recalling various memories with a touch of embarrassment.
"Hmm, is that so? Never mind, it's really not a big deal."
Just then, a voice called out, "Isn't that Yu'er!"
The stranger's voice triggered Qin Yu's instincts, causing her to instantly switch modes. Her facial muscles snapped into a standard polite smile.
"Ah, Sister Mei! Long time no see."
The woman chuckled warmly. "It has been a while, but we all know you've been busy working for Lady Tianquan. Are you out playing with Director Hu Tao today?"
Hu Tao grinned cheerfully. "Yup!"
"Oh? Speaking of which, Yu'er, I heard you're living with someone now? Whereabouts? I'll bring you something over when I have time."
"That won't be necessary."
Qin Yu had no desire for her and Shenhe to be disturbed. With fluent small talk and a natural segue, she easily steered the conversation away from personal matters.
Finally, she excused herself and Hu Tao, explaining that they needed to hurry, and bid farewell to the acquaintance.
Hu Tao clicked her tongue in amazement. "Fishy Treasure, you're actually quite capable!"
"Mmm... even I'm a little surprised."
Qin Yu had expected to feel at least a little awkward, but the transition had been seamless.
This persona has truly become a part of me.
Qin Yu's emotions were complex. Even if the persona no longer influenced her, the many matters it had affected remained difficult to change.
But for outsiders, there's no need to change anything.
"There's nothing wrong with it at all, Fishy Treasure," Hu Tao emphasized. "For you, this disguise is like armor, right? You only created it to protect yourself from getting hurt. Everyone does this to some extent—it's perfectly normal!"
Qin Yu knew Hu Tao was emphasizing the normality of her behavior to support her, so she smiled gratefully.
"Thank you."
"Don't mention it! Though if you want to be formal, that's fine too."
Qin Yu's face flushed. "You can't do that outside!"
"What are you talking about? I just wanted to hold your hand! Did you think I was going to—" Hu Tao realized Qin Yu's misunderstanding and grinned mischievously, a faint blush coloring her cheeks.
"No."
Qin Yu's denial only fueled Hu Tao's mischievous spirit.
She leaned close to Qin Yu's ear, her warm breath tickling her skin. "Actually, I kind of do want to. It would definitely scare everyone around us!"
But I'd be the first one to die of fright! Qin Yu thought frantically, covering her ears with her hands.
"Enough! If we don't get to the point soon, we'll run out of time."
Hu Tao giggled. "Getting shy, are we? Me too, a little... Alright, let's get down to business. I've come up with a brilliant plan! Guaranteed to help us find the perfect experience project."
Hu Tao's plan?
Qin Yu immediately tensed up. Given Hu Tao's whimsical and unpredictable nature, who knew what mind-blowing stunt she might be plotting?
Still, she played along, asking cautiously, "What is it?"
"Look over there—isn't that a couple?"
Qin Yu spotted a man and a woman. "Uh-huh, so?"
"Couples do couple things, right? We'll just follow them and see what they do!" Hu Tao snapped her fingers, grinning triumphantly.
Just as I suspected, another terrible plan.
"We'll get caught," Qin Yu said.
"Then we just need to avoid being discovered."
Qin Yu shook her head vehemently. "No, no, no! Not even if you kill me! That's disgusting!"
"Sigh, I knew you'd say that. Fine, let's tweak the plan a bit. How about this: we'll go interview people on the street. We can call it a social survey. That's acceptable, right?" Hu Tao asked.
Compared to the previous plan, this was a definite improvement.
If forced to choose between the two, Qin Yu would only pick this one, so she nodded in agreement to Hu Tao's Plan B.
"Great! Let's go!" Hu Tao exclaimed cheerfully, seizing Qin Yu's hand and lacing their fingers together. The sensation of their interlocking fingers sent a flutter through Qin Yu's heart.
This kind of hand-holding isn't so bad after all... she thought.
After wandering the streets for a while, Qin Yu and Hu Tao gathered thoughts from several passersby:
"The thing I most want to do with my girlfriend? I don't have a girlfriend, but if I did, I'd want to feed each other food."
"Travel and explore scenic spots, of course!"
"Girlfriend? Ah... um... It's a bit embarrassing to say, but I want to be held. Ever since I was born and came into this world, I've never been hugged by anyone other than my mother."
The third passerby sighed, "Before we grow up, we compete with our peers; after we grow up, we compete with our colleagues. Our entire lives are spent chasing money, making life so exhausting. That's why I wish I could be hugged and comforted by a petite, sweet-faced girl... even if she's not my girlfriend!"
Instead, he had witnessed the harsh realities of life.
Hu Tao sighed, "The myriad facets of life, indeed."
Qin Yu nodded.
Of course, sympathy was one thing, but if someone actually acted like the third passerby, it would be disastrous.
With time running short, continuing the investigation would drag on indefinitely. So she suggested, "Shall we end the investigation here?"
"Hmm, we don't have much time left. Let me think... how about 'mutual feeding,' 'scenic outings,' and 'hugs'? We'll experience them in that order."
"Sounds good."
None of these seemed particularly difficult to accept.
But experience... Hu Tao wanted to experience the feeling of being in love. Could this really work?
If she didn't experience it, wouldn't that be a failure?
Conversely, if she did experience it, wouldn't that mean Hu Tao had feelings for me?
Despite having kissed several times, Hu Tao didn't seem to have any romantic intentions. She simply enjoyed the act itself, fueled by curiosity and a genuine interest in exploring such things.
Just enjoys it. The implication was unsettling.
Qin Yu herself didn't exactly hate it... No, she definitely didn't hate it. But this feeling of merely craving physical contact felt bizarre.
As Qin Yu was lost in her thoughts, Hu Tao's eyes suddenly lit up. "That's it!" she exclaimed.
"Huh?"
"Let's make this even more interesting!"
Ha?
Qin Yu sensed trouble brewing. What had started as three simple tasks could easily become complicated with Hu Tao's meddling. She definitely didn't want things to escalate.
"N-no need, right? If we just want to experience romance, can't we just follow the standard script?" Qin Yu blurted out anxiously.
"But couples aren't all the same, are they? Some love cuddling, others prefer eating out together. If we're going to experience it properly, we need to consider each other's individual preferences!" Hu Tao insisted, unfazed.
That was undeniably a valid point. Friends vary, let alone lovers.
But where would this lead?
Forget it, Qin Yu thought, giving up on trying to reason with Hu Tao.
After all, making Hu Tao happy was the most important thing. If she wanted to do it, then let her—as long as it wasn't something too outrageous.
"Okay, then how can we make it more interesting?"
Hu Tao grinned. "Fishy Treasure, you spoil me so much! That's what I love about you! Let me think... I've got it!"
"What is it?" Qin Yu asked, twirling a strand of hair around her finger.
"You'll find out later! Come on, let's grab some takeout and eat outside first. We can knock out our second objective while we're at it—we definitely have enough time," Hu Tao declared confidently.
With takeout meals and drinks in hand, Qin Yu and Hu Tao headed outside the city walls.
They found an empty spot to sit, and Hu Tao opened the lunchbox.
"Here, your chopstick."
Hu Tao handed Qin Yu a single chopstick.
One chopstick?
Qin Yu's expression turned peculiar. "Why only one?"
There was only one serving of food as well. Not that she had much appetite, so she didn't need a lot.
"That's the fun part! I'll use one chopstick, you use one, and we'll feed each other! What do you think? Aren't you excited to try it?"
"I want to go back," Qin Yu said.
Hu Tao quickly replied, "Don't be like that! Let's just try it once!"
"Even if you say that..."
Can this really work?
Though skeptical, Qin Yu reluctantly agreed to Hu Tao's suggestion.
Each of them held a chopstick and tentatively tried to pick up a slice of meat from the lunchbox.
More like pressing than picking up, really. The two chopsticks awkwardly clamped down on the meat from opposite directions, lifting it together.
"I'll eat it first!" Hu Tao declared.
Even the way she ate was awkward, but seeing Hu Tao's determined effort to get the food into her mouth, Qin Yu couldn't help but find it amusing.
Hu Tao shook her head in disgust. "Ugh, no good! It's not even satisfying to eat like this."
"Then why did you even suggest this in the first place?" Qin Yu asked, exasperated.
"How would we know if it's fun if we don't try? Oh, I just thought of something new!"
With that, Hu Tao snatched the chopsticks from Qin Yu's hand, picked up a small meatball, popped it into her mouth, closed her eyes, and leaned in close.
Whoa, what's she planning?! Qin Yu panicked, pushing her forehead away with her hand.
"Wait, what are you trying to do?"
"Feeding you."
Ha?!
Qin Yu stammered, "Y-you can't possibly mean...?"
"Mouth-feeding."
"N-no, no, no! I can't accept that! Isn't that a little gross?" Qin Yu shook her head vehemently, desperate for Hu Tao to end this absurdity.
Hu Tao tilted her head, looking doubtful. "Is it?"
"Of course!"
"Hmm... alright, if you say so." Hu Tao stepped back, chewing and swallowing the meatball in her mouth.
Qin Yu let out a sigh of relief.
"Besides, I'm not hungry anyway. You can have it."
"Why didn't you say so earlier?"
Hu Tao seemed bored, which made Qin Yu uneasy.
It was true that she was used to dropping her guard around Hu Tao, but she couldn't help but scrutinize her every move—every glance, every reaction.
In moments like these, she almost wished Hu Tao would kiss her.
"Then feed me instead. After all, we're supposed to be girlfriends now, even if it's just an experiment. We can't achieve my goal without some intimacy," Hu Tao added.
"Alright."
This, Qin Yu could accept.
Hu Tao took off her hat, carefully placing it aside, then plopped down in front of Qin Yu, her back pressed against Qin Yu's chest.
She then struck a pose of utter laziness, opening her mouth expectantly, waiting to be fed.
"Are you a child?"
"Yep! Hu Tao's eight years old now!" Hu Tao declared without a shred of embarrassment.
Good grief, this girl's skin is as thick as Rex Lapis' shield!
Realizing this, Qin Yu sighed in resignation and picked up a piece of green vegetable with her chopsticks.
"It's hot! Blow on it!" Hu Tao demanded again.
Qin Yu's emotions were conflicted. Could this really be what it feels like to experience romance?
Helpless, she obeyed, blowing on the food a few times before stuffing it into Hu Tao's mouth.
After finishing the meal and drinks, Hu Tao contentedly put on her hat.
"Full and refreshed, let's get back on the road."
"Mmm," Qin Yu replied weakly.
If this keeps up, I'm probably going to be on the road myself... spiritually speaking.
Hu Tao pulled out a black cloth, immediately putting Qin Yu on alert.
Every time I see that thing, I end up blindfolded. Could it be...?
Recalling both good and bad memories, Qin Yu blurted out, "L-let's get this straight first! I'm afraid of the dark!"
"I know! You were terrified when Yanfei blindfolded you last time. That's why I'm here this time. You blindfold me, then you can take me around." Hu Tao grinned.
Qin Yu was utterly bewildered.
"Wandering around blindfolded? How can that be fun if you can't see anything?" she asked.
"Try it and find out! Besides, even if I can't see, I still have you. You were my hands earlier, now you can be my eyes... my fisheye."
There's no need to correct yourself!
Since Qin Yu wasn't the one being blindfolded, she could accept it.
She took the black cloth and gently tied it around Hu Tao's eyes, securing it with a simple knot at the back of her head.
"How's that?"
"Whoa, it's pitch black!"
Qin Yu asked with concern, "Scared?"
"Not at all! Alright, let's go! Anywhere's fine with me—you decide."
Anywhere's fine? Qin Yu teased, "Then let's go underwater."
"Huh?"
"Because you're a fish and I'm a peach."
Hu Tao chuckled. "You're quite the smooth talker! But no way—too dangerous. I'm not ready to kick the bucket just yet. Even though I don't have any regrets, I still want to live as long as possible!"
Qin Yu took Hu Tao's hand and led her around.
But there wasn't anything particularly interesting—just descriptions of what they saw.
If someone who enjoyed teasing others were doing this, they might deliberately make Hu Tao look foolish for their own amusement. But Qin Yu was so afraid Hu Tao might trip or bump into something that she walked as slowly as a snail.
This only deepened the boredom. Hu Tao sighed, "Ah, getting used to it isn't so bad after all. It's just... so dull."
Qin Yu felt a pang of guilt. They rarely got out, and she didn't want it to be this boring.
After a moment's thought, she had an idea.
"Hu Tao, sit down for a moment."
"Hmm? Are you tired? Alright, I'll take the cloth off."
Qin Yu stopped her. "No need to take it off."
"Aha~ I get it! You've come up with a good idea, haven't you?" Hu Tao said excitedly, her eyes sparkling with anticipation.
"That's right..."
But don't get your hopes up, Qin Yu muttered inwardly. Seeing Hu Tao sit down, she glanced around to make sure no one was nearby. Then, she leaned close to Hu Tao's ear, her warm breath brushing against her skin.
Hu Tao shuddered. "Eek! Wh-what are you doing?"
"Are you happy?" Qin Yu whispered, her lips almost touching Hu Tao's ear.
Hu Tao's face burned crimson. With her vision blocked, her other senses had sharpened considerably. She was indeed happy, but Qin Yu's actions had thrown her off balance.
Wait a minute... Qin Yu's doing this to make me happy, so—
Let's try not giving her the satisfaction of a positive response.
Hu Tao declared boldly, "Not really."
"I want to make Hu Tao happy. Since you say that, I'll keep trying," Qin Yu whispered again, repeating her earlier actions.
"Whoa!?"
"Are you happy now?" Qin Yu asked again.
This time, Hu Tao replied with even more conviction, "Not happy."
More, please.
Still not happy? Qin Yu grew increasingly dissatisfied and decided to intensify her efforts.
"How about now?"
"Still not good enough!" Hu Tao protested, though her demeanor had become light and airy, as if she were completely immersed in the sensation of comfort.
"Hmph, not good enough, huh? Then I'll just—"
Qin Yu tugged at Hu Tao's cheek.
"Hehe, you saw through me!" Hu Tao laughed gleefully, which only irritated Qin Yu further.
"What's so funny?"
Hu Tao removed the black cloth and grinned. "Hehe, I'm happy! Isn't that what you wanted?"
"N-not really."
"Fishy Treasure, you're more stubborn than Rex Lapis's shield!"
Qin Yu tugged at Hu Tao's cheek again, then sighed deeply, feeling utterly exhausted.
Glancing at the sky, she saw it was already twilight. Time was running out; it was almost time to wrap things up.
But there was one last thing she needed to do.
Qin Yu wrapped her arms around Hu Tao from behind. "Thank you," she murmured.
"Thank you? For what? I should be thanking you for going along with my little performance," Hu Tao chuckled.
"No, I mean... thank you for all your help and support over the years."
Qin Yu didn't want Hu Tao to see the blush on her face, so she took off her hat and buried her face in her hair, inhaling the faint, elusive scent of plum blossoms. She murmured softly, "I've made quite a bit of progress compared to before."
"Progress?" Hu Tao asked.
After a moment's hesitation, Qin Yu decided to share her thoughts with Hu Tao.
After so many days, Hu Tao hadn't shown any sign of disliking her, making Qin Yu feel she could trust her a little more. Besides, Hu Tao might even have a solution.
Hu Tao listened intently, then exclaimed in realization, "Oh, I get it! You've wanted to tell us the truth all along, but you were trying to test the waters bit by bit. Hisss, maybe I should call you Cat Treasure from now on? You're more like a cat than a fish."
"Don't," Qin Yu replied firmly.
Hu Tao chuckled. "Hehe, fair enough. Fishy Treasure is still Fishy Treasure. You think telling Shenhe and the others directly would be too sudden, but testing the waters little by little is too slow, right?"
"Mhm," Qin Yu agreed awkwardly.
"You want a middle ground?"
"Sort of... yeah."
Hu Tao crossed her arms and pondered for a moment.
"I still think you should just be direct," Hu Tao said earnestly.
"But—"
Hu Tao pulled away from Qin Yu's embrace and sat facing her. "How could someone who risked everything to save you hate you just because you were pretending?"
"They might be a little taken aback at first, but after spending so much time with you, I've genuinely enjoyed our time together. There's nothing to regret. Have a little faith!"
"But what if they resent me because they risked everything to save me, only to find out I was pretending?" Qin Yu countered.
"That's a possibility, sure," Hu Tao conceded, "but even in the worst-case scenario, reconciliation is still possible!"
"Reconciliation?" Qin Yu murmured, unconsciously touching her bracelet.
Hu Tao grinned. "Exactly! Even the closest friends have disagreements sometimes, right? And sometimes, mending a broken bond can make it even stronger than before. I've seen it happen!"
Qin Yu thought of Keqing.
They had been separated for years, yet their bond was stronger than ever now. Perhaps, as her Teacher had said, human connections aren't so easily severed.
Even if broken, they could still be repaired.
Even after being repaired, relationships can become stronger and deeper.
Qin Yu felt a stir of interest. Since she couldn't bear the gradual testing of the waters, taking Hu Tao's advice to directly confess and take a big leap forward seemed like a good choice.
It's true that taking small steps is fine, but sometimes you need to take a big one, right?
I should just rush over to Shenhe and the others today and confess everything!
Wait, no, that's not a leap—that's flying off a cliff!
Even if she was going to confess, she'd have to do it one person at a time.
"Alright... I understand. I'll do it," Qin Yu vowed before Hu Tao, burning her bridges in the process.
Hu Tao clapped her hands in approval. "Great! As Director, I support you! So, who are you going to tell first? I think explaining things individually would be best, you know, to avoid a mob showing up at your door later."
Ugh, that would be a disaster.
After considering her options, Qin Yu decided Yanfei was the best choice.
Yanfei hadn't shown any signs of dissatisfaction so far; on the contrary, she seemed genuinely happy. It was a bit odd, but precisely because of this, confessing to her first seemed like the smoothest approach.
Will I be accepted? Qin Yu thought, feeling a pang of unease.
But I want it so badly.
The desire to be accepted, to earn what she had with her true self, the longing for everything about Shenhe and the others... These desires fueled Qin Yu's determination, allowing her to suppress her anxiety.
"Yanfei, then," Qin Yu said.
"Yanfei? That's perfect! She definitely won't think there's anything wrong with you. After all, as a legal expert, she's seen plenty of demons and spirits."
Qin Yu felt slightly reassured but couldn't help but retort, "I'm not some weirdo!"
"I know," Hu Tao said, beaming. "Fishy Treasure, you've finally grown up! I'm so proud!"
What is she talking about? She was just pretending to be eight years old the other day.
But Hu Tao's words did lift Qin Yu's spirits considerably.
Compared to the person she was at the beginning, she had indeed grown.
"I'm still a little nervous," Qin Yu admitted openly.
That's understandable, Hu Tao thought. It's hard to confess the truth proactively. Some people only dare to shout it out when they're about to kick the bucket.
She wanted to comfort and encourage Qin Yu with words, but when their eyes met, Hu Tao couldn't resist leaning closer. Gently pressing her fingertip against Qin Yu's soft lips, Hu Tao murmured with an unusual glint in her eyes, "How about we cast that magic again?"
Qin Yu immediately understood Hu Tao's implication, her face and ears flushing hot.
After a moment's hesitation, she nodded.
Hu Tao, having received permission, pressed her "magic" against Qin Yu once more.
Even as this moment drew to a close, she still couldn't quite grasp what romantic love truly felt like, or even what it was.
All she knew was that being with Qin Yu brought her immense joy and contentment.
But those feelings could also exist between friends.
There had to be a defining difference, something that clearly separated friendship from romance.
What is it? Hu Tao mused absently, her eyes closed as she savored the warmth between their lips.
In that hazy warmth, something clicked.
A melting desire. The thought flashed through her mind.
I want to melt her. I want to be melted by her.
As Hu Tao pondered this, she slowly opened her eyes and saw Qin Yu's closed eyes. She let out a silent ah in her heart.
So that's it.
Now I understand. This is what romantic love feels like.
With the question answered and her thoughts clear, Hu Tao's heart overflowed with clarity. She hugged Qin Yu tightly and laughed, "My Fishy Treasure is still the best."
"Eh? What's that?" Qin Yu asked, bewildered, not understanding why Hu Tao had suddenly said that.
But she couldn't help feeling a little pleased.