The room was silent—except for the muffled rustling of sheets and the soft, frustrated sounds escaping from Aiko's lips. Her long, silky brown hair spilled like chocolate over her pillow as she lay on her stomach, legs kicking the air and cheeks flushed with a mixture of shame and fury. Her toes curled and uncurled with every conflicting emotion that surged inside her like waves crashing over rocks.
"Baka…" she muttered, face buried in the pillow. "Baka Taa-Kun… You're such an idiot!"
She lifted her head, eyes already glossy with tears she refused to let fall. Her brows drew close in a cute, angry furrow as she slammed her fists into the pillow. "How could you!? How dare you fall for someone like that?!"
Her voice trembled. Not with anger. Not entirely. There was a sting buried under all of it. A kind of ache that twisted her insides in a way nothing else ever had.
She rolled onto her back, staring at the ceiling. The white lights above buzzed faintly, indifferent to her heartbreak. Her long hair fanned out beneath her like a curtain, framing her flushed face as she exhaled hard.
"Taa-kun… You're so stupid," she whispered. "Why don't you ever look at me properly…?"
Her fingers clenched into the blanket. She was trembling—furious, humiliated, and undeniably jealous. That stupid trap-boy. That overly pretty Yuki with his soft voice and elegant mannerisms. And now, on top of that, even Ai—his own sister—was getting closer to him in ways that… that made Aiko's stomach twist into knots. Ai had teased her about it, wearing that smug little smirk that made Aiko want to throw a shoe at her face.
She knew she was beautiful. Everyone said so. The way boys turned their heads when she walked by, how girls whispered behind her back about her long legs, perfect skin, and that sultry, teasing smile she knew how to wield when she wanted to. She'd even modeled for magazines once—tasteful stuff, but enough that even Shin had seen her in everything from a swimsuit to—
Aiko covered her face, her blush deepening into red-hot embarrassment.
"He's seen me naked…" she mumbled into her palms. "He's seen everything… and he still doesn't see me…"
Tears pricked the corners of her eyes again. She blinked them away, sniffling.
*We kissed, she thought. It was our first kiss… back when we were kids. Doesn't he remember? Didn't it mean anything to him?*
She sat up, hugging her knees to her chest. Her oversized shirt slipped slightly off one shoulder, revealing the pale skin beneath. Her eyes narrowed as she thought about his smile—that stupid, smug grin he always wore after teasing her. The one that made her want to punch him and kiss him all at once.
"Stupidly handsome jerk," she whispered, lips trembling. "Why do I love that about you…?"
Her mind went back to their last meeting. They'd fought again—kicks, slaps, and the usual back-and-forth. But then he'd hugged her, held her like she was precious, even though he tried to pretend he didn't care. That moment clung to her skin like the memory of heat, of something warm she didn't want to admit meant everything to her.
Taa-kun… why can't you just see me? As a girl. Not your childhood friend. Not your punching buddy. As someone you could…
She buried her face in her arms again.
"I hate you!" she wailed into the silence, then groaned and flopped backward again, legs kicking. "I hate how much I love you, you bastard!"
She kicked the blanket off and rolled dramatically across her bed, limbs flailing as if wrestling with invisible enemies. "I'm hotter than Ai! I'm hotter than Yuki!" she huffed, arms crossed beneath her ample chest, which rose and fell with every breath. "So why? Why aren't you looking at me?"
A beat passed. Aiko's lower lip quivered.
"Why does it hurt like this, Taa-kun…?"
The room stayed still around her. The light hummed. Her heart thundered.
Aiko lay there, breath hitching in her throat, hands trembling. She could feel it now—deeper than just jealousy. More than just wanting attention. It was this aching need, this gnawing hollow inside her that only grew every time Shin smiled at someone else, touched someone else, held someone else. That emptiness kept clawing up her spine, rising to her throat, trying to choke her with unsaid words she never had the courage to speak aloud.
"I can't take this anymore…"
Her voice was small. Shaky. But honest.
"I don't care anymore if Ai's his sister. I don't care if he likes Yuki."
She sat up sharply, hair cascading around her like a curtain of dark silk, eyes now gleaming with tears and heat.
"I don't care if I have to share him," she hissed through her teeth, shoulders trembling. "I just want him to see me. To touch me. To want me…"
The way she said it, that word—touch—sent a shiver down her body. It wasn't innocent anymore. Not with the way things had changed between them in the past year. Not with the way her body reacted every time he brushed against her. Every time he laughed too close, or reached behind her to grab something and his breath brushed her neck.
That frustration had been building for months. Years, maybe. Every time she shoved him. Every time she shouted "Baka!" and kicked his shin. Every time he laughed at her pout and ruffled her hair.
But she didn't want to be patted on the head like a puppy anymore.
"I'm not just your childhood friend, Taa-kun…" she whispered.
She crawled across the bed, tugging the collar of her oversized shirt tighter around her neck. Her skin tingled—hot and flushed from all the thoughts running wild in her mind.
She lay back down again, breathing heavily, fingers curling against the mattress.
"I want you to see me as a woman. As someone who wants to be kissed… not like a kid, not like some stupid joke… but for real."
Her breath caught again.
"I want your hands on me… I want to feel your weight. I want you to want to touch me…"
She squeezed her thighs together, face burning.
No more hugging like we're friends. No more pretending we don't get embarrassed. I can't pretend anymore, Taa-kun. I want your hands on my skin. I want to be close to you… like her. Like Ai. But more. Closer.
She slammed her pillow again.
"Why not me?!" she screamed, voice cracking, lips trembling as tears finally fell from her eyes.
"I'm the one who's always been by your side…! I'm the one who knows you better than anyone! I've seen your worst! I've seen you cry, and scream, and sulk like a baby. And I loved you through it all! I still love you!"
There it was. Said out loud for the first time in forever. And now it was echoing in her heart, shaking loose the chains of pride and fear she'd kept locked around her feelings.
"I love you, Taa-kun…"
It was barely a whisper now. But she said it again.
"I love you."
The pain didn't ease—but something else bloomed in its place. A fierce, glowing heat. A will. A resolve.
Her fists clenched.
"I'll confess. I'll tell him. I don't care if it's embarrassing. I don't care if he laughs at me, or runs, or says it's complicated because of Ai or Yuki."
She stood up, the hem of her oversized shirt swaying just above her bare thighs.
"I'm not letting them take you away from me without a fight."
She walked to her mirror, stared hard at her reflection. Her cheeks were still blotched red, her eyes puffy from tears. But she didn't look weak. She looked real. Raw.
"I'll fight for you, Shin. Even if I have to share you… I'll make you want me. I'll make you need me."
She wiped her tears and squared her shoulders, lifting her chin.
"I'm not satisfied with memories anymore. I don't want to remember our childhood, I want a future. I don't want to just joke around and fight and hug and pretend I'm okay. I want to be in your arms, naked, vulnerable, yours…"
Her voice dropped lower.
"I want you to kiss me like I'm the only girl in the world… I want you to run your hands all over me and forget about everyone else. I want to make you feel so good you can't even think of anyone else when you touch them."
She smiled now. It was a dangerous, beautiful smile. Sharp. Seductive.
"You like bold girls, don't you, Taa-kun? That's why you fell for a trap with a cute face. Why you let Ai get so close."
She leaned forward, resting her hands on the dresser, chest heaving slightly with every breath.
"Well, I'll be bolder than all of them."
She turned away from the mirror, a new kind of confidence settling into her bones.
"I'll confess tomorrow."
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END OF CHAPTER : 92 : BAKA TAA-KUN...
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