"Let me inspect the merchandise— Pa."
A "dignified" figure appeared—the camera even swayed left and right as if struggling to locate its target—before finally tilting downward to reveal… Pom-Pom.
[HAHAHAHAHA.]
[HAHAHAHAHA...]
[What a majestic figure. I'm wheezing—how is this Luocha special so damn funny?!]
[HAHA… urk… Sorry, I laughed so hard I puked.]
[So the Astral Express is a crime syndicate now? I'm cackling like a madman.]
[HOLY SHIT, POM-POM?! My brain would've never guessed this!]
——
Even Stelle was struggling to keep it together. "Why Pom-Pom?!"
March 7th shrugged. "When you say 'Mr. Yang's boss,' who else could it be?"
"Pu'er" (Welt Yang) cleared his throat and gestured grandly: "This is our boss— Taro Bubble Tea. Show him the goods, quick!"
"…Taro Bubble Tea? Like, the drink?"
"Bubble tea is still tea! It's totally normal for the Tea-Drinking Society to have bubble tea members!"
[FUCKING TARO BUBBLE TEA LMAO—]
[Why didn't Himeko make a cameo?]
["Bubble tea is still tea"—March 7th's logic is technically flawless.]
[By that logic, cooking wine is still wine, and rotten eggs are still eggs, right?]
Luocha glanced down at "Taro Bubble Tea" with mild disdain. "Payment first, then the goods. Surely you understand such a basic rule?"
Pu'er snarled (but politely): "Enough chatter—just hand it over!"
[Pu'er's attempt at being polite is killing me.]
[Polite… but barely.]
[This is what we call aggressive courtesy.]
[I NEED the behind-the-scenes footage. How did they film this without cracking up?!]
——
Pom-Pom—no, Taro Bubble Tea—spoke with the gravitas of a seasoned underworld boss:
"No matter, Pa. This item is exceptionally dangerous—caution is understandable, Pa."
Meanwhile, Welt Yang's voice-over cut in:
"…Does Pom-Pom actually say 'Pa' that much?"
March 7th quickly covered: "Probably, Pa—I mean, probably!"
Taro Bubble Tea then gave Pu'er a look.
"Pu'er, pay him, Pa. Well? Satisfied now, Pa?"
In true gangster-movie fashion, Luocha accepted a metal briefcase full of Strales, gave a curt nod, and warned:
"Handle it carefully. This thing is lethal. Farewell."
Just as he turned to leave, Taro Bubble Tea's voice turned icy:
"Indeed. We won't meet again, Pa. Pu'er— eliminate him , Pa."
Luocha paused. "I thought our transaction went smoothly."
"Selling me something this dangerous makes you an accomplice, Pa. To keep secrets… some mouths must stay permanently shut, Pa."
Stelle gasped. "Damn… that's actually solid logic. I've got no rebuttal."
Welt Yang nodded. "March's attention to small details is impressively logical… even if the rest is…" He then blinked. "Wait, why did I suddenly turn into a Automaton?"
"Oh, that's Pu'er's hidden setting! He transforms in emergencies."
"…Right. Of course."
Luocha drew his rapier with a sigh. "The local gangs here truly lack… vision."
After a flashy duel, Pu'er's Automaton form exploded spectacularly.
Pom-Pom stomped its feet in rage. "Curses, Pa! You'll regret this, Pa!"
Luocha shook his head. "With this much noise, the Cloud Knights will arrive soon… Best to leave." He then dashed toward a starskiff dock—only to be intercepted by patrolling knights.
Luckily, a mysterious figure pulled up in a starskiff:
"No time to explain— GET IN !"
——
With that, March 7th concluded her "deduction":
"And so, Luocha escaped aboard the starskiff with an unknown ally's help. Thus concludes the full story of the 'Luocha Disappearance Incident'!"
[Finally over. This "deduction" turned me into a laughing hyena.]
[Peak Star Rail comedy. This Luocha special deserves a triple-like.]
[After all the Belobog depression, we needed this levity.]
[Wait, what was the original plot again? I laughed it out of my head!]
——
Back at the Diheng Division, despite March 7th's… creative reasoning, the trio decided to revisit the scene for missed clues.
But the moment they stepped out, they spotted Jingyan talking to two comedians—Ah Wang and Ah Lai—whose conversation included keywords like "blonde," "foreigner," and "savior."
Turns out, the duo had been practicing a new skit near a sewer when they both fell in. Luocha happened to pass by, rescued them, and even prescribed detox herbs—folded into a paper rose for "romance."
March 7th unfolded the rose and gasped. It was the Fisherman's Case title page—one side had the prescription, the other a spoiler:
"The culprit is Chang Hong—Ninth Uncle Chang's nephew."
March 7th raged: "What kind of spoiler gremlin does this?! That's just rude!"
Jingyan nodded. "It seems the Luocha you suspected isn't a villain—but a kind-hearted soul."
March 7th: "He tore out the page to protect others from spoilers… That proves he loves The Fisherman's Case. And how could someone who loves the great detective Fisherman ever do evil? We were wrong about him!"
Welt Yang sighed. "Judging by appearances is unwise… Let's drop this. Where to next?"
"Where?"
"Zhuyu Sheng Yuan. My treat."
...
Just as the story seemed resolved, Stelle got another message from Jingyan: "Newly restored footage of Luocha available. Come watch!"
The clip was brief—Luocha gazing at the Ambrosial Arbor, murmuring:
"Don't worry… I'll handle it. Yes… None of this concerns you or me… The journey has only just begun…"
March 7th groaned. "Huh?! Why's the audio cutting out?! Leaving a sentence half-finished is like developing half a photo— MADNESS!"
Beside her, Welt Yang's glasses gleamed ominously in the dim light. His expression was unreadable.
The screen faded to black—leaving only the Astral Express logo.
[…Wait, is Luocha actually shady?!]
[Probably. Why else end on this note?]
[Eh, I forgot the original companion quest anyway. Today's comedy was gold.]
——
"Whew~"
Su Chen removed his VR headset. "Not bad!"
Herta, busy coding, side-eyed him. "The filming was decent."
"Oh?" He smirked. "You complimenting me? Nah, I meant the VR immersion—especially the interactive choices. If Kafka's Companion Film uses this first-person style, viewers are in for a treat!"