After the plot to kill Ariel had failed, Zachariah would admit that he had been terrified. To come so close to killing the woman that his cousin loved... and then fail. Zachariah had take that to mean that the end of his own life was near. Whether literally, or him dropping down in the social ladder by either foing on the run, or being cut off, he had not known.
The not knowing had been awful. His paranoia had been at its highest. During that dark time, he had not been able to get any proper rest. Thoughts of what would happen to him were his cousin to find out, constantly plaguing him.
