Act I: Kingdom of Nobodies
Chapter II: A Child's Growing Years
"Sarah, look!" A young boy of only around seven years ran to show his older sister what he had found in the sand. His tiny feet left muddy footprints in the wet sand as he came to a screeching halt. In his hand was a large hermit crab that he waved side to side with an energetic smile on his face. His curly brown hair swayed in the wind along with the baby blue swim trunks he wore. Colorful dinosaurs lived peacefully on his legs - yellow t-rexes curled up to sleep while green brontosauruses picked at leaves.
Sarah lifted her head a nudge before giving him a mere nod and as she continued to pick seashells off the shore. Another lucky pink shell – the fourth one today. It had become a self declared challenge for Sarah to try to find as many pink seashells as she could. She had just met her record with time to spare. She wouldn't miss her chance.
"Go show Jane, she'll love it." It was clearly meant as sarcasm, everyone knew how much Jane hated things with lots of legs, but Jack wasn't able to pick up on such things. Sand flew as Jack dashed away with his arms flailing as he made way to introduce his other sister to a new friend. A wave of said grit splashed Sarah across the face, filling her mouth with a salty taste.
"Jack! You little crap!" Sarah yelled at her little brother, trying to violently cough out the bits of sand that choked her. A small, gentle hand began to pat her back, assisting her efforts.
A few taps later and the coughing stopped, bringing Sarah back to full throttle. She glanced around her shoulder to see the more mellow of the younger twin staring at her with a concerned look filling his solemn brown eyes.
"Thank you, David!" David gave a nod to which two arms wrapped around him lighting fast. However, Sarah's exaggerated expression of gratitude was not viewed equally as kind by the other party who began to holler in pain.
"Sarah! I got sunburned there!" David gasped as he wriggled and pushed free of the hug, sprinting towards the water in an attempt to cool his aching burns. A blood-curdling scream left him as he met the salty touch of the cold ocean on his wounds, immediately regretting his decision as he rolled around the warm sand in an attempt to stop the stinging under his skin.
Laughter filled coughs laced with concern came from Sarah as she attempted to crawl towards Jack who was screaming and bobbing side to side like an upturned turtle.
"You're overreacting," she teased.
"You crushed me! And then my… and then..!" David groaned at her in retaliation as his eyes met the side of her face with a glare.
Sarah was still giggling when a high pitched scream grabbed at their ears. Heads spun in unison to find Jane running for her life with her hands above her head as Jack chased her with his crab. Jane tore up the shoreline in full flight towards the direction of their parents who were attempting to rest peacefully under the sun.
Jack chased after her, laughing like a maniac.
"Jane! He's friendly! He won't hurt you" Jack shouted as he fought for air in between each snort of laughter,
"Keep that thing away from me!" she shrieked in reply, zigzagging through the sand.
Sarah watched with wide eyes before turning to face David and collapsing into each other with shared laughter. Their bodies folded into each other, wheezing breathless cries. They were just kids on a beach, having a good time.
Just kids.
Jane had finally reached safety where she hid behind their father who had just been rudely woken from his nap. Their mother was resting her head against his shoulder as she read. The untouched snack basket rocked in the wind.
Jack skidded towards Sarah and David with a proud yet also disappointed expression, one such as when you get a 98% on a test instead of the complete hundred.
"She ran away…" Jack muttered as he plopped down between them, poking the crab's shell with his finger. It attempted to scurry away, but was always grasped before it could get far.
"Because I hate it!" Jane yelled with her arms crossed from a few feet away, far enough to run away if need be.
"He! Is! Friendly!" Jack screamed back.
After a few more minutes of arguing, the four of them ended up sitting along a row, watching the sunset and tide. Jack would repeatedly have David watch the crab, which Jack had named Jeremy, as he walked to the water to get Jeremy a drink.
It was peaceful. The gold coating of the sun left them in a somber and calm atmosphere. The waves reflected the world like glass, clouds of cotton candy above the ocean. A salty and sweet breeze tossing hair while the sand sank you in. A fifth shell.
Perfect.
It was all perfect.
Even a magic lamp couldn't get you this, these people. Jane with her perfect laugh and hair, even with the wind flowing through it. David with his relaxing and chill words, even though he got embarrassed so easily. Jack with his goofy smile and impossible energy, even after a long day.
She loved them so much.
Every single one of them.
Even if it was hard to say. Even if she was always a little too sarcastic, a little too distant, a little too imperfect, she truly loved them.
"If I could just be like Jane… then everyone would be happier" Sarah thought as she watched her sister staring out at the water. Her smooth hair falling peacefully against her back once more after a particularly strong current.
Sarah didn't want to idolize her sister. She knew Jane wasn't perfect, but even Jane's fears and insecurities made her seem so much more beautiful in Sarah's eyes. When she walked into a room, the mood brightened. When she made a joke, people laughed. When she ran from a spider, someone came to help. Sarah wasn't like her…
However, Sarah was dragged away from her thoughts at the sound of a question.
"Do you think we'll still be like this when we're older?" David asked in a serious tone, his eyes focused on nothing in particular.
"Like what?" Jane asked.
"Hanging out and seeing each other…" David's face grew a shade more pink as he clearly thought his question was embarrassing and wanted to take it back.
"Of course we will," Jane brushed some sand off her shoulder. "Why wouldn't we?"
David shrugged. "We might live far away or have jobs or–"
"I'm not gonna have a job," Jack interrupted. "I'm gonna be a pirate."
"Pirates don't get paid," David replied, trying to restore the previous tone of conversation.
"Then I'll be a pirate who also works in a bank."
"That's not how that works!"
"Yes it is!" Jack shouted, kicking sand at David. "I'll have a ship, and a vault, and money, and–"
"Can you two please stop fighting?" Jane said with a sigh, tossing her hair over her shoulder. "Mom and Dad are packing up."
As if on cue, their mom called them over. Jane and David got up to leave while Sarah laughed as Jack said goodbye to his crab. And then he left as well. Sarah sat for a few minutes more as she watched the waves with a melancholy expression, one thought circling through her head.
"I never want this to end."
***
My tiny feet padded quietly across the velvet carpet of the west hall. The stone tiles near the walls made my feet bitter cold, forcing me to take care of where I stepped. Morning rays poured through the stained glass windows, each one a dark sky void of stars with only the yellow moon as company. I had long since learned that the Anderfell family were strict worshipers of the Moon, the Sun something to be hated rather than revered. Another thing I learned was not to touch the windows after the last time I had broken one.
Servants tried not to notice me slip by, paying me only a curtsey so as not to deal with the awkward encounter of talking to a two year old held in superiority to themselves. It was an unfortunate stage of not knowing whether to treat me as a grown princess to be served or an infant to swaddle. I was likely the only one who knew of the correct answer.
It was strange. I'd never known castle grounds like these in my past life, but now they belonged to me. The childhood I'd known was built from a simple three bedroom house, not diamond chandeliers and mosaic ceilings. Even the floor I stepped on was likely more expensive than I had been before.
The palace was beautiful, terrifically so. It stretched infinitely in each direction – a maze built by greed that was never denied. There were indoor gardens and sun drenched courtyards, spiral staircases carved of jewels, and vaulted chambers that looked like they belonged in history books. It questioned me, asking me if I belonged.
I wasn't sure of the answer.
I was Amarinda now – Amarinda Anderfell. Second daughter of King Alaric and Queen Lysandra. Born of royalty and heir of nothing. At best I'd marry a kind duke who would treat me well and at worst I'd die young and be remembered as such. Even so, I wanted to become more than that. I wanted to matter. Not for glory or fame – I just wanted to be someone they could count on. Someone kind. Someone real. Someone they would remember for something good.
I wasn't the only person wandering the halls that morning. As I turned a corner, I found myself face to face with Aurelia – my older sister by two years and according to her, the boss of everything important.
"You're not supposed to be out here," she said, her hands at her waist as if she were a miniature queen.
I stuck my tongue out at her as sassy as I could then started to walk away. She followed begrudgingly behind me, waiting for me to stop and listen to her.
"I saw you trip yesterday," she continued as I attempted to balance on one of my stubby legs. "You need to be more careful. What if you trip down the stairs and die?"
"Won't die." I had gotten relatively skilled at understanding this new language and was beginning to talk at the level of children my age.
Aurelia gawked for a moment, trying to come up with a witty reply. After a few seconds, she gave up and started to follow me around without saying another word. Although she liked to put me down, I could tell she did actually care about me and was likely trying to keep me safe.
We passed through a tall golden arch that led to the eastern wing, one of my favorite places in the whole castle. The tall windows there faced against the sea, and when the tide came by, you could hear it crashing against the cliffs. I climbed up one of the window ledges with Aurelia's help, curling my legs underneath me like a cat. Seagulls danced along the sealine below us, pecking at the water for their dinners. And above it all stood the Sun, watching me.
"Restore the Sun? What does that even mean? It looks fine to me. And what can a child like me for something as strong as a literal star? I'm still just trying to understand what my parents are saying and yet I'm expected to do that? Stupid…"
But I still wanted to try. I wanted to believe the Voice who gave me my second chance wouldn't force me on a quest without a conclusion. They have given me a chance to be. It couldn't be just a fluke – I wouldn't let it be.
However, as always my thoughts were interrupted by a quick set of footsteps. A few grunts and groans followed by an overworked nursemaid who we called Ms. Dyter came along with a large stroller. Aengus, Aicard, and Adonis sat inside like bored princes in a chariot. Alice, as always, refused to be pushed and thus was being carried. Her face was being smushed into the shoulder of the woman who looked to have lived through the stress of three lives just this morning although she was only around her early thirties.
"Princess Amarinda!" Ms. Dyter said in exhausted surprise, attempting to curtsy without dropping my siblings. "You shouldn't be out here–"
"She's fine." Aurelia replied as she grabbed my arm so as to prove that I was being protected and alright. Ms. Dyter looked as though she wanted to reply but gave up. Aurelia helped me off the window sills ledge and we began to follow the rest of our company.
Alice cracked one of her eyes open as I peeked at her before closing it again with a grumpy huff. She hated mornings. She might just be my spirit animal. The others continued down the hallway, leaving me alone to my own devices.
About halfway through the next corridor, my older brother Ambrose appeared from around the next corridor. Tall and confident, book in hand, faced carved with focus as he leaned against the wall. He gave the nursemaid a bow of acknowledgement despite his far superior status, to which she returned. The moment he saw me, he stopped.
"Amarinda." he said in a nonchalant, simple tone.
A shiver ran up my spine. Ambrose rarely used my name. Usually he just looked me in the eyes and nodded. I'm sure it wasn't out of coldness and more so that I assumed he didn't see any point in talking to someone who could barely even form full thoughts. But now, he was waiting.
"Hi," I mumbled in my baby voice.
His eyes softened slightly. "You're walking alone again."
"I wasn't… and I'm not anymore." I said, trying to sound clever.
He raised his eyebrow, then begrudgingly nodded. "Aurelia was looking for me."
"She found me," I looked to the floor with an annoyed tone. "Told me I'd fall and die."
He didn't laugh, but the corners of his mouth twitched which in turn brought a smile to my face. "She just worries."
"I don't need to be worried over."
"You don't?" Ambrose asked with a skeptical tone. "You're only two."
My chest clenched. That was the thing – I wasn't. Not really. But I couldn't tell him that. There was no way I could explain myself without sounding unhinged. And the last thing I wanted was for him to view me as a broken toy.
He scanned me for a few seconds, then offered me a hand. "Come on, I'm going to the garden to collect mints. I need your help."
I grabbed his hand enthusiastically as we made our merry way. We rarely spent time together so any chance was like a blessing for me. My family already meant so much to me that I couldn't believe it. They were truly my family now, and I already loved them more than the world. Each one of my new family members reminded me of my original life.
It was as though my twin brothers had reincarnated into the four younger siblings I was gifted with now. They may have just been born, but I could already imagine myself loving them just as much.
The age difference between them, me, and Aurelia was luckily close, only two years between each, so we would likely be something of best friends even into the distant future. Ambrose was much older than us, being ten years older than me and eight for Aurelia. Ambrose was our half brother, his mother passing away only a few months before my mothers coming of age. And yet he didn't treat mother nor us with any of the disrespect you would find in a classic fairy tale.
I turned my attention to his face, which was at a much higher level than mine. Everything he did was an inspiration to me. He reminded me… He reminded me of Jane. But I couldn't stand to build another wall between one of my siblings.
The palace garden smelled like sugar and Earth. It had rained the night before so everything glistened with dew. Flowers taller than I was gently bristled in the slight breeze, the cobblestone paths were slick with moss that had been aesthetically grown. I tiptoed behind Ambrose as he crouched near the herb beds, pointing out each plant one by one.
"That's feverfew," he said as he held some small daisies in his hands. "It calms headaches." His fingers ran towards multiple bunches of flowers colored from white to purple. "That's yarrow. It's good for bleeding."
"Shouldn't you just have the servants do this?"
"I'm doing it because I can do it myself. You shouldn't have them do everything for you. It's both impolite to others as well as makes you lazy and unable to do things yourself. Alright?"
He moved his touch away from the plants and onto my face, carefully brushing his fingers against my cheek. It was a very paternal embrace that made me relax instantly.
I hadn't yet grown comfortable with having others doing everything for me. It felt as if I was objectifying others. However, what confused me was that Ambrose, who had lived his whole life being doted on, still treated our servants as people. "Okay… Why do you need mint anyway?"
"For the kitchen. I like my tea strong."
"You drink tea?"
He returned a sideways glance, "What else would I drink?"
I shrugged, "Pirate juice."
He blinked once then chuckled. A real laugh. "I'll be sure to try that next time."
I wanted to save that moment. His laughter. The sunlight through the trees. The weight of his hands on my cheek. These were the types of memories I hadn't gotten to keep the first time around. I swore I would protect these ones.
"Do you think I can be like you?" I whispered, my voice barely audible.
Ambrose didn't look at me. "No," was all he said, making my heart sink. "You'll be far better." His arms enveloped me and he carried me away with a handful of mint against my back.
We strolled into the main corridors of the home. By now it had turned late afternoon, and the walls were buzzing with life. Preparations for some minor diplomatic event had the staff in a flurry – setting up banners, polishing silverware, and shoutinging instructions about guest etiquette as well as seating charts. I naturally wasn't expected to attend, but I sat on Ambrose's lap atop the staircase above the great hall to watch.
That's when I saw my mother.
Queen Lysandra.
She was standing in the center of the ballroom, kindly giving instructions as she balanced Alice on her hip. Her hair was tied up in a long braid, gold threads woven like sunbeams. She was laughing at something one of the maids had said, her eyes crinkling at the edges.
She looked so tired. But also so… real.
I clutched at the edge of the railing and leaned forward, watching as she set Alice down and crouched to help fix a crooked banner. No one told her to stop and no one rushed to do it for her. She was a queen, yet she was still fixing crooked banners.
Something inside my heart shifted. I didn't know what kind of person I was supposed to become in this life. Hero? Noblewoman? Savior of the Sun? But I certainly knew one thing.
I wanted to grow into someone she could be proud of.
Someone like Jane.
Someone like Ambrose.
Someone like… Amarinda.