"Ah, Anchin, your hands are very soothing." Kiyohime leaned her cheek into his glowing hand, enjoying the sensation as if she were a cat getting Scritchies from their owner.
After Chiyome decked her in the face, he quickly rushed to Kiyohime's side and used his healing mage craft on the petite servant.
For the best healing results, he had to make direct skin-on-skin contact. Which is why he was caressing Kiyohime's cheek.
He gave Chiyome a disapproving side-eye, which made the ninja avoid his gaze, "did you have to sock Kiyohime in the face, and that hard?"
"Apologies My Lord, but," her eyes hardened as they drifted towards Kiyohime, "I wasn't sure if this snake would bite or strangle you, so I took preemptive action."
Kiyohime scoffed, "liar, You knew exactly why you attacked me."
"I was merely protecting My Lord."
"Protect him? From what? I'm Anchin's beloved Kiyohime."
"His full name is Fujimaru Ritsuka, not Anchin you delusional berserker.
Kiyohime waved off Chiyome's words, "Anchin is Anchin, it matters not whether he looks different from his past life. He is still Anchin."
"Anchin... the same Monk who you burned to death at Dojoi temple, that Anchin?" Chiyome's words gained an edge to them.
"Yes, the very same. I finally reunited with him in this new life! Until you had to show up and ruin it!"
"Can you blame me? You're constantly referring to him as the same man you murdered for rejecting you. I was watching your interactions with him in France. I saw and heard you threaten to shove needles down his throat, and you have the gall to ask me what I'm protecting him from?!!"
"Only if he lies to me "
Chiyome narrowed her eyes, "so you don't deny it?"
"No. Because that would be a lie, and I HATE lies"
"Then I cannot allow you to get close to My Lord. Once he finishes healing you, step away from him. "
Kiyohime looked up and down Chiyome's form, "and who exactly do you think you are that makes you believe you have authority over me?"
Chiyome straightened herself with pride, "I am Lord Baron de Fujimaru's kunoichi. I have sworn my mind, body, and soul to protect him from those who seek to harm him, like you."
The ninja's deadpan then turned into a sly, mischievous smirk, "and I am also his personal bed warmer."
He felt his cheeks warm up in embarrassment as Chiyome made that statement aloud.
Kiyohime narrowed her eyes, "I see, So you're his shinobi courtesan. Well, I appreciate you keeping my Anchin safe, but now that I'm here, your services will no longer be required. From now on, only his WIFE will act as his bed warmer."
Chiyome snorted, "I don't see a ring. My Lord is unmarried, and you're the last person who has the right to call themselves his wife. You are too dangerous to be left alone with him. Therefore, your claims are rejected. "
[Heart0f6old: Hey guys, I'm back and woah!! What's happening here? ]
[wb pervert, to answer your question, Chiyome and Kiyohime are having territorial dispute. ]
[Heart0f6old: Rude, but man, I do not envy him. I prefer older women, I would not be able to handle having a child looking yandere coming to claim me as her lover. ]
Alright, this has gone on for long enough.
He took his hand off Kiyohime's cheek, much to the girl's dismay.
"Alright, that's enough, you two." He got up from his squatting position and sent another look at the ninja girl, "Chiyome, apologize to Kiyohime for hitting her. She wasn't planning on hurting me."
Chiyome looked conflicted, "B-But My Lord!"
He cut her protest short, "now."
Chiyome pursed her lips, then gave the smirking berserker a light bow, "I apologize for my rash actions,"
Chiyome's smirk returned, "Burning_Jealousy-san."
Kiyohime's smirk fell into a frown, "That is not my name."
"It is now. Just look at your screen."
Kiyohime looked down at her chat screen and frowned as she read the text.
She let out a defeated sigh, "I suppose assuming this alias is tolerable, considering it yields no lies about myself. After all, I am a very, VERY jealous girl."
[GudakoBot: Burning_Jealousy chose not to show her servant dreams. ]
She set her eyes on him, which caused the hairs on the back of his head to stand up.
"So, do take care and remember that fact well Anchin, for your sake and mine." Kiyohime then walked away, choosing to stand near Kriemhild, who looked happy to see her.
Not the best start to a summoning session, but it was still a surprise.
"Are you okay senpai?" Mash asked as he stepped in front of her shield again.
"I'm fine Mash, let's keep going, we've kept Archer waiting long enough."
He got into his usual power stance he took when summoning servants, "Alright, hopefully there won't be any more surprises this time. Come back Archer!"
The shield erupted in light, blinding everyone in the vicinity.
It died down, and once his eyes readjusted, he had to do a double take at the servant standing before him.
"Servant Archer, returning to battle."
His voice was the same as before, but his appearance did not match the voice.
Sure, he still wore the same red outfit, except now his signature red coat was tied around his waist. His under armor was now visible, but was missing a sleeve, showing off his bare muscular arm.
His other arm had a lone red sleeve covering it.
If that alone had been the only change, he would have just said "Cool drip Archer" before he moved onto the next summoning. But no, his shock was not due to the wardrobe change alone, but rather his white hair, or lack thereof.
His hair was auburn now, with the only white left being a highlight peeking out of the red bandana wrapped around his head.
An honest to god teenage mutant ninja turtle bandana!!
But the most confusing part to him was the fact, his skin had lost its caramel color and got bleached!
Even his eyes changed into a golden-brown color!
Just who the heck is this guy? He's so fucking cool!
[Dragon's-Iris: Did GARcher evolve when he died? Is dying one of his evolution conditions? ]
[Aw man, I liked his old look. ]
[Don'tTouchMyBuns!: Not me, goddamn he's looking fine. ]
"Archer, is that you?" He asked cautiously.
"Yes it's me." He gave his usual smirk, which instantly erased any worry he had about his identity.
"What? Losing your memory to brain rot already. Master?"
"Um… No. It's just..." Was Archer messing with him?
"You look… different."
Archer furrowed his brows, "different Different how?"
Archer looked serious, so he wasn't messing with him.
The red servant turned toward the others, who were equally as surprised as he was at Archer's new look, then back at him.
He really didn't know huh?
"Does anyone have a mirror?" He asked the others, but Archer refused the gesture.
"No need. I can project one. "Archer then projected a simple mirror.
He furrowed his eyebrows at Archer's projection. It was just a round hand mirror with a sword handle and a blade tip coming out of the top of the mirror.
A Mirror dagger? What the heck? How is that practical?
Archer looked into the mirror, and he let out a gasp of horror as he took in his new appearance.
This is the first time he's seen Archer act this way. Not even Fafnir or Gilles had managed to elicit such a mortified reaction than seeing his own reflection did.
"Archer, are you well?" Kriemhild asked, her tone was laced with concern, and hesitation. Likely because it felt weird to call someone who looked like a stranger by your friend's name.
Her voice snapped Archer out of his stupor," yes, I am fine."
The way his fist tightened around the hilt of the mirror dagger betrayed his words.
Archer was squeezing that handle with so much force, his palms had paled a much lighter shade of white.
The man was glaring at his reflection with such intensity, he was even leaking killing intent.
Then, Archer's eyes started wandering to the blade on top of the mirror as if he was contemplating something... dark.
He wouldn't do something so rash would he?
Then, the memory of his sacrificial attack against Gilles de Rais resurfaced in his mind.
Oh crap, he totally would!
He sent a mental message to Chiyo, 'Chiyome, Archer is gonna do something. I'm going to distract him, your mission is to do what you can to restrain him. And whatever you do, do not get distracted by what I say. Focus on the mission, do you understand?'
'Understood.'
With the message relayed, he set his sights on Archer again. He took a deep breath and spoke up, "hey Archer? "
Archer turned his gaze away from the blade and towards face him, meanwhile, he walked around him so that he could give Chiyome an opening.
"Yes master?"
He felt his gut twist in discomfort, he looked at his chat and sighed.
'Sorry Chat, but I need to do this. For Archer's sake.'
He looked at Archer dead in the eye, and in the most neutral tone he could muster, he said: "Did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible with humans?"
The room fell silent, and he could feel everyone's gazes stabbing the back of his head.
[(o_O) ?!! ] x263
[Ecruteak_Gal: Gudao… with all due respect… what the fuck are you saying!? ]
[Bunny_Aachan: Master is showing his degeneracy… how bold. ]
"Excuse me?" Archer said, thrown completely off guard by what he said.
He felt his face rush with blood, but he powered on through and kept walking around him, "Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3"03' tall and 63.9 pounds,"
"I-I see…" Archer's shock was starting to form into discomfort.
Please hurry, Chiyo…
[Gudao, are you good bro? You just started reciting the meme out of the blue. ]
"T-This means they're large enough to handle human d-d-danger noodles."
[And he's not even saying it right. This is your line Gudao. -> "This means they're large enough to handle human dicks."
If you're going to be cringe, at least be accurate you coward. ]
Thankfully, Archer cut him off before he could recite the entire cursed message he was relaying to him, "you know Master, I was only kidding about the brainrot, but, I never thought you would be this fargone."
'Now Chiyo!!'
Distracted by his cringe, Archer, being the servant that he is, immediately noticed something off the moment Chiyome went for the strike from behind.
"?!!"
Alas, he was too slow to dodge.
Chiyo jumped on his back like a koala, and held him in a full nelson.
The momentum caused both of them to fall to the ground.
The mirror dagger fell on the ground, and shattered into pieces.
"Hey! let go!" Chiyo did not let go, as a bunch of snakes wrapped around his body, preventing him from committing seppuku in front of everyone.
Crisis averted.
✦✧✦
"So you weren't going to kill yourself?"
Archer shook his head, "No Master, I wasn't."
[CasCu: Could have fooled me. ]
[GARcher: Zip it Hound. I'm not in the mood to hear your barking right now. ]
"Well, that's good to hear. I was really concerned you were gonna commit seppuku or something." he said with a relieved sigh.
Archer gave him a playful smirk, "yes, thank you for caring so much about my well being master. I appreciate your eagerness to embarrass yourself in front of thousands for my sake."
His cheeks felt hot, "um… yeah…"
[Gudao: You guys didn't clip that did you? ]
[Electrical★Streamer_Iono(MOD): why are you asking us? You already know the answer Gudao. ]
[The clip even went viral, even more than your usual clips, so congrats. ]
Oh god, the cringe… it hurts.
He needed to change the subject, but he couldn't think of anything. Thankfully, like an angel descending from heaven, Mash saved him from his shame by asking a very good question.
"By the way Archer, do you still want us to call you Archer, or would you rather we call you Emiya?"
Archer sighed, "Emiya, is fine. Although I will respond to both."
Mash smiles, "then it's nice to meet you again. Emiya-san."
Emiya nodded, then took his place next to Mash.
He decided now was a bad time to ask him about the noble phantasm that severed Dark Jeanne's contracts and focus on the next summoning.
Though now that he brought it up, he had an idea of who to summon next.
He took a deep breath and thought back to Orleans, to the night he spent with Marie, and the sudden arrival of the Saint and her dragon.
The saint who he failed to save.
This time for sure, please…
The light died down, and a metallic clack drew the attention of the room.
"My name is Martha, just plain Martha… I have come to offer my aid in the Rider class." Her piercing blue eyes met his gaze, "Are you my Master?"
[YEAAH!! SAINT MARTHA IS FREE ]
[HUZZAH!! ]
[Electrical★Streamer_Iono(MOD): #SaveSaintMartha was a huge success!! ]
She's really here…. Saint Martha, err Martha.
She looked nearly the same as she did in France.
Except she now wore different heeled shoes.
And, um… her lower back flap and stockings were now red instead of blue. Which made her thigh window even more eye-catching.
Control yourself Fujimaru, stop staring and answer her you idiot!!
"Yes, I am. And thank you for answering my call, Martha."
She smiled softly at him," it is no problem Master, our contract is sealed."
Martha flinched when her chat window showed up and displayed her username.
[GudakoBot: Welcome to the stream,{Bethany_Brawler}]
[GudakoBot: Bethany_Brawler chose not to show her servant dreams. ]
"Oh right, I forgot to tell you but I'm-"
"A streamer who is being followed by an audience from another world, yes I am aware."
He wasn't expecting that.
"You knew?"
She shook her head, "not until a few seconds ago. It would seem that this power of yours has added the necessary context for the situation."
She pursed her lips, "to think that the angel was just a false projection… I suppose I should not have been surprised."
Ah crap, he had forgotten about that. She really thought it was a real angel.
[We're so sorry about giving you false hope Saint Martha!! ]
[Bethany_Brawler: it is alright everyone, I am not mad, and there's nothing to forgive. You were only trying to help Master from the Dragon Witch, and for that I am grateful. ]
Martha stared at her screen with clear discomfort. He knew that face.
"Not a fan of your username either huh?" he asked.
She sighed in resignation, "no, I cannot say that I am. But I suppose I will have to endure it. Especially after everything I did."
So she's blaming herself for what happened in France?
Not on his watch.
"You didn't do those horrible things Martha. You were under madness enhancement and were forced to do heinous acts." He tried to reassure her, but she shook her head. Whether she did it in denial, to shake off a bad memory, or both he wasn't sure.
"Even so, I still remember their screams. Their pleas of mercy…"
So it was both.
[IliekQTthings: It was not your fault!! It was the Dragon Witch! You are innocent!! ]
[Damn, I can't even begin to imagine the horror of not being able to control or stop your own body as it commits heinous atrocities. You have my sympathy Martha. ]
She cleared her throat, "but this is no time to be negative." She clenched her fist, while looking at him with a determined gaze, "for the sake of those people I hurt and for the people who died… I will do my very best to help save the world without fail!"
[Beaumains: Welcome to the team Martha, I look forward to working with you. ]
[Bunny_Aachan: Same. ]
Martha steps off the shield and stood next to Kiyohime, who side eyed the saint briefly before she took a large step away from her.
Well, time to go back to the grind.
He wondered who he should summon next.
His mind drifted to Marie, but he had a feeling that if he did, it would only make his particular situation much more complicated than what he could handle.
Jeanne was also a good option, but Mozart really saved their asses multiple times.
And then there was Georgios, Sasaki, and Siegfried.
Decisions.
Speaking of Siegfried, he cast a quick glance at Kriemhild, and despite doing her best to remain composed, he could see the excited anticipation written all over her face.
Hm… well, whatever, he'll just send out a request and see who shows up. Whoever they are, he'll do his best to welcome them. Though it would be nice if Siegfried or some other male servant answered his call this time. The gender ratios were already dangerously skewed to one side.
He closed his eyes and focused.
An invitation was extended and someone answered right away.
He could feel the servant being pulled towards their location, but then, it abruptly snagged into something.
Like a twig stuck on a net.
The twig was about to break, but suddenly, something freed it. He couldn't quite place what it was, but he couldn't dwell on it too long as the summoning successfully concluded.
He opened his eyes, and this time, he was in for another surprise.
A man with long flowing blonde hair and a well groomed beard stood before him. His exquisite clothing looked fit for a higher class, and he came with an air of authority to match it.
This man, honestly, he never expected he would answer his call.
"Servant Lancer, Vlad the Third. I am here at your request… " he paused then looked at his hands with a pensive expression.
"Huh, strange. This isn't Romania… So why am I in this form?"
[Oh snap!! Dracula answered the summons!! ]
[Why did Gudao summon a literal bad guy?!! ]
His servants immediately jumped into action and formed a small perimeter that separated him and Vlad.
Vlad merely looked around in amusement, "oh? What a warm reception. Though, I cannot fault you for having such emotions. We were enemies just a few days ago after all."
"Guys it's alright, chill. He doesn't seem to be aggressive." He chided his servants, though not harshly since he understood that they needed to protect him.
"Apologies Master, it's a bit difficult to trust someone who enjoyed killing and drinking the blood of innocents." EMIYA said while pointing a black key in Vlad's direction, his eyes never leaving the man.
"Humph, don't get the wrong idea, it's not as if I enjoyed it."
He did a rehearsed, but elegant bow, "I am Vlad the Third, I am the second son of Dracul, or in a non-romanian language: Dragon. Unlike the lancer you met in France, I am NOT nor will I EVER be a blood sucking vampire."
"He's speaking the truth." Kiyohime confirmed the validity of his words, and instantly, the tension slackened. Although everyone was still on guard.
He shrugged, "well, good enough for me, welcome aboard Vlad-"
However, before he could seal his side of the contract, Vlad interrupted him.
"Hold on a moment boy. I have a condition before our contract is sealed."
The tension from before returned, but Vlad didn't care for the increased scrutiny.
He blinked in surprise, this was a first.
"Yes?"
Vlad's face turned really serious, and his voice was grave, without a hint of levity.
"Swear to me that you'll never make me unleash my second noble phantasm, Legend of Dracula: The Succession of Blood,"
Just the utterance of the name alone looked painful to say for him.
He raised a brow at the man, "So all I have to do is promise never to make you use this noble phantasm?"
"Yes. You must swear to me that you will never, EVER, make me use that wretched noble phantasm. If you refuse, I will return to the throne and you can call upon someone else."
Ritsuka took a moment to think, "may I ask why? I'll respect your wishes but I am curious about why you have such hatred about one of your noble phantasms."
Vlad didn't hesitate for a second and explained himself, "the reason why I DESPISE that noble phantasm is because it was a fabrication that was the result of that bastard Bram Stoker's work, 'Dracula.' He used my legacy and twisted it into a false narrative that forever changed how people viewed me! I was not, and I WILL NEVER, be the vampire known as Dracula. That is why my greatest wish is to erase all dracula-related media from the collective consciousness of mankind!!"
[So he wasn't a vampire in real life? ]
[VampHaterCIEL: Nope. Just a guy who killed so many people that people placed the label on him. ]
[Frisky1intheFlowers(MOD): This happens quite often for many heroic spirits. It doesn't matter how you were as a person in life, your legacy and how humanity views you shapes your legend, your abilities, and your entire identity as a heroic spirit. ]
[That's horrible. So that means that someone can be the sweetest person in the world, but because the everyone sees them as evil, that's all they will be when they are summoned. ]
[CasCu:I wouldn't sympathize too much with him kiddies, while Vlad III was no vampire, he was still a monster who took joy in impaling thousands. ]
[No one is perfect I guess? ]
"I see, that is a good reason. Well, I promise I won't make you use your second noble phantasm."
Vlad grunted, "Very well, I will give you the benefit of the doubt, Master, our contract is sealed. However, words are but air. You must prove to me that you are a man of your word. And if I sense that you even consider making me use it, I will terminate our contract."
He listened to Vlad's harsh tone, and while others would see strict disobedience and insubordination, he saw something else.
Someone had hurt him. Hurt him badly enough he distrusts him, even after they gave his word.
That wasn't good. How could he assure him he wasn't like that?
Suddenly, a phantom sensation tickled the back of his hand. And it was then that he realized that there was only one way he would show he meant what he said.
He raised his arm, a motion that caught everyone off guard.
The command seals on his hand glowed a bright red.
"Vlad the Third, by this command seal, "
Vlad's face turned furious, "Foolish boy!! Even after I told you I wouldn't use it, you're deliberately breaking your oath the moment it was forged?!!"
He didn't respond to the man, he only responded with a smile, "I forbid you from unleashing your second noble phantasm, Legend of Dracula, even if I command it with another command seal."
His hand burned as the command was given.
The room had gone quiet, his actions actually stupefying everyone, even Chat for a moment.
Vlad in particular was staring at him in complete disbelief at his command, which immediately took hold with a dull glow of red light that emanated from the man.
But he wasn't done yet.
"By this second command seal, even if my life is in danger, I forbid you from using your second noble phantasm to save me!"
"Um… Senpai? I think you made your point." Mash said with a bit of worry in her tone.
"Honestly, it's overkill. One was foolish. Two is a waste." Emiya's disapproval was evident, but he ignored it.
There was no kill like overkill.
His last command seal glowed brightly, and he could feel the second hand anxiety coming from his servants.
"Are you serious?" Emiya asked with incredulity.
Yes. He was serious.
He tightened his glowing hand into a fist, and sent a glare at Vlad, who had become speechless at his sheer audacity.
"Finally, by this last command seal, If I do manage to find a loophole and make you unleash Legend of Dracula, I give you permission to kill me."
And that was the straw that broke the camel's back.
"Senpai?!!"
"My Lord?!!"
"Anchin?!!"
"Master, that was unwise! You shouldn't treat your life so casually!!"
"Good grief, you're quite the troublesome master as always, Ritsuka Fujimaru."
"Dammit My Accomplice, it would seem you have fallen on the dark path of Heroism… I will have to correct you later."
All his servants started to protest his action, but he ignored them. He only had eyes for Vlad at the moment.
The man was genuinely having a hard time trying to speak, but eventually he managed to form a response., "why? Why would you go to such lengths to prove yourself to me?"
"Because, I want you to know you can trust me. There's no point in being a team without trust." He scratched the back of his head, " and it was the only thing that came to my mind that could help me convince you I was being serious about keeping my word."
[Waifu Counter +1 ]
[PerfectlySaneHex: Fuck you. ]
Vlad stayed silent, but after a moment, he let out a low chuckle, which built up into a regal laugh.
He had a feeling Vlad wasn't laughing at him, but at the absurdity of the situation.
"Very well, I take back what I said, Master. For the honesty and sincerity of your actions, I Vlad the Third, second son of Dracul, hereby swear to ally myself to your cause and I fully accept you as my Master."
As soon as he said that, the chat screen appeared before him.
[GudakoBot: Welcome to the stream, {The_Impaler} ]
[GudakoBot: WARNING: Vlad the Third has a specific trigger that will anger him, so, from now on, anyone who refers to him as "Dracula" will be timed out. Anyone who deliberately provokes him by insisting he is Dracula will be timed out, but if their behaviour continues, it will become a temp ban, and if they continue to offend, it will become a permanent ban. This rule will be extended as a courtesy for future servants who have their own trigger words or phrases, especially if uttering such words will bring danger to Gudao. ]
[Blue-TheCHAMP: Yeesh, Message received GudakoBot. ]
[Ominous foreshadowing there GudakoBot. ]
[What about Burning_Jealousy @ GudakoBot? She gets triggered by lies. Will we be banned if we lie? ]
[GudakoBot: You lying to her won't put Gudao or anyone else in danger, because she frankly doesn't care about you. Also, it would be too much work, so I'm not gonna do it because then I would be banning too many people. If a servant has a particularly bad trigger word, ex: Achilles, I will just censor it. ]
[Okay… I think I get it. ]
[IliekQTthings: Don't worry Mr. Impaler, I didn't like that story anyway. No matter what hollywood says, bloodsuckers aren't cute. Not at all. ]
[I feel the same. ]
[The_Impaler: So, even in another world, my detested legend has spread.]
[Gudao: Sorry, I didn't know at the time. ]
[The_Impaler: Worry not, I am not angry. However, this situation can be remedied. ]
[GudakoBot: The_Impalerchose to show his servant dreams. ]
"Are you sure about that… um, Lancer, how do you wish for me to refer to you?"
"Normally, I would have made you refer to me as Voivode, a formal slavic title given to the rulers of my homeland, but due to your sincere and earnest actions, you may refer to me as Lord Vlad or Lord Impaler."
He clenched his fist, "as for your other question, the reason I am letting your audience see my servant dreams is because I wish for them to witness my life, as I experienced it. Even if they despise me for what I did, I care not. I just wish for them to judge me as Vlad the Third, the Impaler, not Dracula, the vampire."
With his peace said, Lord Vlad steps off the shield and calmly walks to the side, a distance away from the others.
Suddenly, a ping from TTS rang out.
["Gudao, can you plz, plz, PLZ try to summon Jeanne or Marie? "]
Huh, a servant summoned a request from chat. Hm, well he supposed it was alright.
"Okay, I'll try to call Jeanne then."
Well, he might as well summon her since they met first.
Frankly, he kind of wished they talked more, so this was perfect.
He closed his eyes and reached out to the throne. For Jeanne.
A servant answered, and arrived at the material plane in a bright flash of light.
And just like before, the appearance of this servant caught him off guard.
She looked exactly the same as she did in Orleans, except, happier and less sadistic.
But her smirk was still smug, and she still wore all black armor, a single thigh and pantyhose visible to the world.
"Servant, Avenger. Summoned upon your very desperate request."
Oh he spoke too soon, her wicked grin came back.
[PerfectlySaneHex: ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!! ]
[ShortShorts_QUEEN: Avenger?!! Is she here to seek vengeance against us for stopping her?!! ]
[Ohshitohfuckohsitohfuck. ]
[VivaLaKalos: The Dragon Bitch answered the call. Quick!! Someone stab her!! ]
[Why are you guys acting so surprised? It was obvious from the moment she ripped the grail from her chest she was gonna show up. ]
Just like with Lord Vlad, all his servants instantly drew their weapons, but they seem to have learned their lesson and didn't immediately jump into action right away."
Dark Jeanne noted their reactions and her smirk grew, then her eyes locked with his.
Avenger? If he recalled correctly, that was the servant class that held grudges and never forgot them huh?
"...What's with that look? Do you want the contract or not?"
"Oh, uh… Yes. Sorry, I was just surprised."
She nodded, letting a playful snort from her nose, "as you should be. You are the first and only Magi whose call I answered. So be grateful, our contract is now sealed."
[GudakoBot: Welcome to the stream,{JAlter} ]
Dark Jeanne narrowed her eyes at the screen, "I see, so the mysterious angel finally shows its face, and it's also calling me by the wrong name."
[GudakoBot: JAlter chose not to show her servant dreams. ]
[KicksYouIntheFace193: Sup bitch? :Kicking Emoji: ]
[VivaLaKalos: Unsummon yourself. We want THE REAL Jeanne. ]
"Not much of a warm reception." She huffed, though she looked like she was taking a mental note of the people who were badmouthing her.
"Can you blame them? You are the Dragon Witch." Saint Martha unexpectedly said from the sidelines.
Dark Jeanne flicked her gaze at Martha, a widening of the eyes told him she recognized her.
Her eyes then roamed over everyone else, but she didn't pay their glares much mind.
"I see I'm not the only one you summoned, hmph, well I suppose it's only natural the Saint and Vlad would be here."
Hearing her call his name caused the shadow under Vlad's face to darken.
She looked back down at the screen and raised a brow, "And Jalter? What's that even supposed to mean?"
[GudakoBot: It's short for "Jeanne Alter." As you are an altered version of Jeanne D'Arc. ]
[GroundHippowdon: Huh, ngl, it fits her. ]
[HippityHoppip650: Looks like the forum debates for JAlter's nicknames is now officially resolved. Why hadn't anyone thought of that?! ]
[GudakoBot: It's because you guys are a bunch of hyperfocused dumbos. You were debating dumb nicknames for days on end. You were so focused that you never noticed @ VampHaterCIEL calling her by that name. ]
[First of all, fuck you. Second of all, don't blame us, chat scrolls fast sometimes. ]
[VampHaterCIEL: Oh right, I called her that didn't I? I forgot. ]
He could see Dark Jeanne's face was conflicted.
"Sorry if you don't like it, but it's permanent. I can try to have Chat call you something else, but knowing them, they'd probably ignore my request."
She hummed, "what do you think about it? Give me your honest opinion."
Her yellow eyes stared intently at him.
"I think it's actually a nice username. Short, sweet and memorable. I personally think it suits you. But again, I can call you something else."
"Then you can call me Jalter, Master."
He nodded, "sure, if that's what you want. Welcome aboard, Jalter!" He flashed her a smile.
She looked away from him, her pale skin gaining a noticeable red hue.
Strange.
[Geez, he's being so accommodating to her. ]
[DragoonRuleZ: She wants to make amends? I say let her. It's better this way. Besides, everyone deserves a second chance, especially babies. ]
[Top-Hat-PSY: Oh right, she's an infant… and she's also a part of the Waifu Counter… and Gudao is also her avenger self's his first Master. Well that's not concerning at all. ]
[PerfectlySaneHex: All the more reason to disqualify her from being part of the waifu counter.She's too young, and her crush is making Gudao look bad. ]
Jalter stepped off the shield, and after taking a moment to observe the group, she elected to walk to a spot where she could see everyone.
Suddenly, an oppressive aura fell on everyone. All eyes turned to Lord Vlad, who was emanating a large amount of magical energy.
He pointed his palm at Jalter, who was already attempting to dodge the incoming attack.
But it was too late.
"Kazikli Bey!!!" a stake erupts from under Jalter, entering her butt and piercing through her soft, internal organs.
"AAAAAHHHH!!!"
[∑( °Д°) ] x658
Dozens of stakes sprung out of her body, tearing holes through her armor as if it wasn't there.
Jalter was still screaming, but it came out as gurgles due to a stake protruding from her mouth.
Her body twitched from the pain, which showed she was still alive.
Ritsuka wanted to use a command seal, but realized too late that he had used them all up.
More branches exploded from within Jalter's body.
Her gore and blood splashed on the floor, the walls, and even everyone within proximity.
One moment, Jeanne Alter had been whole, the next, her body was completely unrecognizable, reduced to skewered meat.
✦✧✦
He summoned Jalter again, and as soon as she reappeared, she honed in on Lord Vlad and sent him a death glare.
Lord Vlad, meanwhile, was grinning like a madman at the woman.
"The fuck was that for?!!" she demanded, smoke rising from her body.
"Apologies, due to the impossibility of my summoning outside Romania, I was merely making sure my noble phantasm still worked as before. You were the only acceptable target, so I helped myself."
He gave her a satisfied smile, "and while the power is lacking somewhat, the fact I can use it at all is miraculous. Truly, God works in mysterious ways."
He sent a look of disapproval at Lord Vlad, "couldn't you have waited until after I finished summoning to check? Also, please don't do that again. "
"No, I couldn't wait. Because her smiling face pissed me off so much, I had to stab it."
Jalter grit her teeth at Lord Vlad's answer.
[VivaLaKalos: The_Impaler is now my favorite servant. ]
[Sasuga Lord Impaler. ]
[Am I the only one who has any morals left in this stream?! That was extremely uncalled-for and barbaric!! ]
[Not to mention disgusting, I chose a bad day to eat meat skewers. ]
His smile then turned into a serious frown, "I still remember, you know?"
Jalter's sharp anger blunted, like she remembered what he was talking about.
"You made me into a vampire back then, against my wishes. You could have summoned my other Lancer self to do your dirty work for you, but no. You chose to summon my heroic Romanian self and turned me into Dracula! That alone is worthy of a slow, painful execution, but you didn't stop."
Lord Vlad was shaking with so much anger, he could even hear his bones crack from the sheer tension of his muscles alone.
"Even when I tried to aid you, you humiliated me, you stepped on my pride as a proud ruler of Wallachia, and I vowed to make you pay."
The anger simmered down, but he knew that, at any moment, it could return to a rolling boil.
"Your debt has been paid in blood and suffering. But don't think that alone means that I will get along with you. The only reason I'm willing to tolerate your presence now is because I wish to help humanity live. For my homeland is also a part of humanity."
He narrowed his eyes, an action that she mirrored, "so outside missions? Stay away from me. If you so much as breathe wrongly in my general vicinity, consider yourself dead."
She scoffed, "same goes for me Lancer. Unlike last time, I am an Avenger class servant. We never forgive transgressions, ever. I will remember this, and should you ever get in my way? I will skewer you and roast you alive."
He sighed when he saw both of them come to an agreement, and Jeanne or Jalter stepped aside, the furthest away from everyone else.
[Damn. That was intense.]
[Honestly, she deserves it.The_Impaler served justice and now is reluctantly willing to put his anger aside to work for the better of mankind. ]
[MagnetKing: Remember guys, Jalter was perfectly happy to let The_Impaler go around and kill innocents in the same way she just got killed, so really It's not just justified, but she also got a light punishment all things considered. ]
Part of him wondered if he should stop summoning now, because for all he knows, he could summon the incarnation of evil next and kill him on the spot.
But he had to keep going.
He repeated the summoning process once more, and again, another unexpected but familiar servant showed up.
When she spoke, her voice playfully caressed his ears, but it also felt cold and distant.
"Ah. I guess this must be fate. Please call me Carmilla. I am an Assassin-class Servant."
Red seemed to be the color of the day, because Carmilla was dressed exactly as how he remembered her.
A blood red dress encased in a cage of intricate, sharp metal decorations surrounding her body.
She was also carrying an ornate staff with a hollow sphere topped with a bat shaped headpiece.
And that praying statue on her back that reminded him of the goddess statue from The Legend of Zelda, Skyward Sword.
[Oh look, another evil servant has joined to help. ]
[Heart0f6old: WHOOO!!]
[Is it just me… or has anyone else noticed a pattern? Carmilla is the third evil girl servant with white hair and yellow eyes that has joined our cause. 1. Kiyohime, 2. Jalter(I refuse to call her Jeanne) and now Carmilla. ]
[Kream doesn't count? ]
[Technically yes, she fits the bad girl vibes, but she doesn't have white hair, or yellow eyes.]
[Looks to me like Gudao has a type. ]
Vlad scoffs at Carmilla answering the call.
"Great, the blood hag is here too."
Hearing the insult, Carmilla turned to face Vlad.
"Did you forget your etiquette lessons in your old age, Lancer? Hasn't anyone ever told you that you should never refer to a beauty such as myself, as a hag?" Carmilla returned fire with a dangerous undertone in her voice.
Vlad's eyes stared at Carmilla like she was some sort of toad who declared themselves a prince, then shifted his gaze on him, "Master, be cautious. Unlike me, this one is an actual bloodsucker."
Carmilla rolled her eyes at Vlad's accusation, "Lancer, it's highly hypocritical of you to spread lies about my legend. You know I don't target men."
She looked behind him at all the women that were present in the room.
All of them were battle ready, but he could tell they were also looking a bit nervous.
Caemilla then paused as her gaze landed on Jalter, and to his dismay, she too was glaring at her. But it was momentary, as her glare turned into a creepy smile, licking her lips as like a snake tasting her scent of her prey.
Jalter shivered and pointed her flag pole at Carmilla, flames dancing around her as a clear warning to the other woman to stay away.
"Please do not drink and/or bathe with the blood of anyone in this facility or its allies, Carmilla." he said with a monotone, already tired from all the infighting between his servants.
She let out a hum, "if you say so master. Quite frankly, even if I tried to do such a thing, I don't think I would survive long enough to fill my bathtub, let alone take a long, soothing bath."
[Krystal: Oh, she doesn't deny that she would kill every single woman and girl in this room. Great… ]
[GymLeaderErika: This summoning session is cursed. We have enough servants as it is Gudao, so you might want to consider stopping for the day. ]
[ACinnamonRola: @ GymLeaderErika, Part of me agrees but the other part kind of wants to see what he'll summon next. Who knows, he might even summon fafnir. ]
[Kream: If fafnir answers before Siegfried does, I'm killing him again. ]
"Why did you even answer the summons Carmilla? I never took you for the type who would care about anything but your vanity."
"It's quite simple Dracul, I answered the summons because I don't want the young ladies and girls to die off."
Vlad rolled his eyes, "why am I not surprised? Forget I asked you perverted hag."
[GudakoBot: Welcome to the stream, {Blood_Countess} ]
[GudakoBot: Blood_Countess chose not to show her servant dreams. ]
Unlike the others, Carmilla smiled from ear to ear when she saw her username.
She didn't say a word though, and she stoically walked towards the middle of the group.
His servants parted like the red sea as Carmilla claimed her spot.
He heard Kriemhild let out a grunt, she turned towards her and saw she was giving the shield a baleful glare.
Uh oh.
At this rate, if Siegfried doesn't answer, Kriemhild is going to revert to her old self.
That was bad, but what can he do, it's not like he can guarantee a summon… oh wait.
Catalyst.
"Kriemhild, if you want, you can place Balmung on the shield so we can guarantee that Siegfried answers the call."
[ShortShorts_QUEEN: Just let the poor man rest Gudao. Its bad enough we let Kream kill him once, now you want him to suffer an untold number of deaths more?! ]
[Electrical★Streamer_Iono(MOD): I say go for it! Siegfried is not gonna be so defenseless this time! He won't have his curse holding him back!! ]
[ShortShorts_QUEEN: On second thought, do it Gudao. I wanna see Kream getting creamed by her husband!! ]
[lol. ]
[ShortShorts_QUEEN: Wait!! That's not what I meant!! I said I want to see Siegfried stab his wife!! ]
[Bunny_Aachan: Uh… Miss Hilda? I think you just made a wish on the monkey's paw. ]
Kriemhild's sour mood suddenly turned excited, "good thinking, My Accomplice!!"
Her excitement turned to hesitation, "are you sure? I still owe you, and summoning Siegfried would actually be doing me a service."
He waved off her concern, "it's fine. Siegfried is a heavy hitter, so we could use his help."
She smiled brightly at him, then like a child walking into the candy store, she rushed towards the shield, nearly throwing her sword as she placed it nearby.
With Balmung as a catalyst, now he could continue his summoning.
'Siegfried, buddy. I know we barely saw each other, but… the longer you delay your reunion with your wife, the harsher your punishment will be. So if I were you, please, answer the call, for your sake.'
And just like that, Siegfried answered, and he arrived in a flash of light.
"Saber, Siegfried. I have come-"
The moment he arrived, Kriemhild had already moved. She rushed him, her fist clenched and held behind her back.
She transferred her momentum into her arm, and drove her fist into his gut with a wet crack, however, due to his Armor of Fafnir, he was unscathed.
The same could not be said about Kriemhild's hand.
"...ow."
[(≧▽≦) ] x635
"Kriemhild, are you okay?" Siegfried said with concern.
"I'm okay you oaf… more importantly, WHY DIDN'T YOU ANSWER RIGHT AWAY?!!"
Siegfried flinched at his much shorter wife's voice, and he sighed.
"Sorry… I was nervous." He admitted.
The way Siegfried hesitated made him think there was more to his reasons, but the Dragon Slayer didn't seem like he wanted to elaborate right away.
And based on how Kriemhild was narrowing her eyes at him, she noticed it too.
She huffed, then with her good hand, she grabbed his long, white hair and pulled him down to her level.
And she kissed him.
A warm sensation bubbled from his stomach as he saw the happy couple reunite.
Finally after they parted, he decided to throw a heal spell at Kriemhild rather than touch her.
Her body glowed green, which brought the couple out of their intimate gaze, and redirected it at him.
"Thank you My Accomplice. For always looking out for me," she smiled brightly at him.
Siegfried cleared his throat, "sorry for the delay. I did not mean to ignore you. Are you my master?"
"Yes, I am, and no need to worry. I'm just glad you answered the call."
"Thank you for taking care of Kriemhild, Master. My sword is yours to command."
Siegfried paused when the screen appeared in his face.
[GudakoBot: Welcome to the stream,{Sumanai} ]
[GudakoBot: Sumanai chose not to show Chat his servant dreams. ]
Kriemhild rolled her eyes, "of course your username would be 'I'm sorry.'"
"...sorry."
She let out a loud groan, then grabbed him by the ear, "come on, we've imposed ourselves on My Accomplice long enough."
"Right." Siegfried turned to him, "sorry for the trouble Master."
The small woman dragged the over 6 foot tall husband by the ear, and he felt a bit of pity for the man, but that was the price for having a beautiful, doting wife.
[Sumanai: Hello? ]
[Welcome Sumanai!! It's nice to finally see you healthy and not covered head to toe in curses. ]
[Sumanai: Thank you… I guess? Incidentally, I wanted to ask, is that person who distracted Kriemhild alright? ]
[Heart0f6old: @ Sumanai She's fine. She's currently recovering at the hospital. ]
[Sumanai: What a relief… sorry to bother you but, can you send my apologies to her? I knew she meant well, and I feel bad that she got hurt because of me. ]
[Heart0f6old: Sure thing, Sumanai. :Thumbs up emoji:]
[CasCu: You're acting awfully chummy with the guy whose wife you hit on. ]
[Sumanai: ??? ]
[Heart0f6old: Don't pay him any mind, he's just a loud dog who loves barking up the wrong trees. ]
[CasCu: Boy, you do NOT want to piss me off. I know your secrets.]
With the happy couple gone, he took a moment to go over the servants he had summoned so far.
Safe to say, Chaldea is getting more crowded, but that was for the best. The more the merrier and the stronger.
He turned to the shield again and called for another servant.
The light shone brightly, but instead of three rings of light, it was just one. Which was odd.
The light died down, and standing on top of the shield was not a servant.
Instead, it was a steaming bowl of…
He blinked in surprise at what he had summoned, "mapo tofu?"
The sudden appearance of food was completely unexpected, even more so than all the servants he summoned.
He cautiously approached the bowl with a curious gaze, then he picked up the almost scalding bowl from the shield.
Wow, it even came with a spoon.
He gripped the spoon and lifted the fragrant food from the bowl, taking care to get a bit of the tofu and sauce at equal proportions.
He took a whiff, and a spicy aroma hit his nostrils.
It didn't smell spoiled, it actually smelled rather nice.
"Uh, Master, I don't think it's a good idea to-"
He shoved the spoon in his mouth, ignoring Emiya's concerned plea.
"-nevermind."
He started to chew. The texture of the tofu was silky soft.
[Did Gudao just eat some random food that he summoned from who knows where? ]
[Gudao truly is built different. ]
He hummed in disappointment when he realized the sauce was kind of sweet. Whoever made this definitely should have added more spice in his opinion.
Granted, he has an extremely high tolerance for spice thanks in part to his ex-girlfriend's parents. They would always cook really spicy, but delicious dishes, and he was never allowed to leave that house on an empty stomach.
His reservations on spice level aside, this mapo tofu was still rich and filled with tons of umami flavor.
He went for another bite, but then he remembered where he was, and turned to face his servants, who were all staring at him like he was some kind of exotic animal.
But the most noticeable stare was from Emiya, who was eyeing his bowl of Mapo tofu rather intensely.
He offered the bowl to him, "Emiya, you want some?"
His words seemed to have snapped him out of his blank stare, and his face gained a blueish-green appearance for some reason.
Was it something he said?
_______________________________________________________________________________
AN: Thanks for watching everyone. Hope you enjoyed the chappie, don't forget to leave a like and/or comment.