A sigh slips from my lips as I watch the caravan recede into the distance. The farther they go, the heavier the weight in my chest grows. How I wish our journey with them had been longer, maybe a few days more. But as the saying goes, all good things must come to an end… leaving me no more excuses to avoid the road on foot.
I have not taken the first step, and already I feel drained.
My focus drifts toward the distance, settling on the small town. I don't think that place was built by the Nchāren people. The structures bear a vague resemblance, but the materials look different—their colour feels… off. And the buildings are unevenly spaced, scattered in a way that's certainly not the Nchāren n way.
"Let's go," Kayin calls out.
I sigh once more.
It is a shame that I cannot take a closer look.
I cast one last glance—first at the departing caravan, then at the town—before turning away.
I was stupid.
I had not realised what it meant to deviate from our original path when we stumbled upon that merchant caravan. I keep forgetting that this is not the Nchāren Empire anymore. A detour here does not simply mean a delay of a few hours, but of several days or weeks… and all that distance has to be covered on foot.
It is a bit selfish of me to think that, but a small part of me regrets ever accepting to help guide that caravan back on its path. Now there is a whole week's worth of road to catchup. I am so tired already, I can barely feel my feet anymore.
"Here you go."
I look up—startled to find Ike towering over me, a bowl cradled in his hands. There's something unreadable in his expression... But I can't be sure, the fire is at his back, causing his face to be almost completely shrouded in shadows. It takes me a second too late to snap out of it. I shakily clear my throat and take it from his hand.
He turns away before I get to say thank you, and I'm left staring at the shape of his retreating back.
I could be wrong… but these past few days I can't shake the feeling that he is avoiding me. I have noticed that our interactions are not as casual as they used to be. He is not rude to me, but more distant. Our conversations—if they can be called that—have become short and slightly awkward. Outside of that, he does not come near me... as if I don't exist.
Did I… do something to upset him?
I frown, dismissing the idea.
He started acting like that sometime after… after we left Dalisso's lair. But it does not make sense. He is the own who wronged me back then—I should be the one feeling upset. I did nothing wrong.
Hmph!
Who cares if he is acting cold and aloof with me, that is his problem.
"Vyswe'eyaga."
And I am pulled out, yet again, of my thoughts. This time, however, it is N'jobu who is standing before me.
"Yes?" I respond since he keeps gawking at me.
He stares at me some more before asking, "where are you going?"
Kayin springs up, "that's none of your business."
"I am not talking to you," he snaps back. He takes a deep breath, then turn back to me with a determined expression. "You have been heading north ever since your group left Asso, and there is nothing up there except the Death zone, the Nguo. A submerged abandoned city, blanketed by an ever-present mist. Countless explorers attempted to uncover what was hidden there but none ever returned."
He pauses, and by now everyone is staring at us. "It's amply clear that this whole excursion is linked to you and the Nchāren n people and I want to know why. Why do you want to go there? What could possibly motivate you to lead a whole group of people to a certain death."
"That's enough!"
Kayin marches in our direction, his face contorted with pure anger. I let out a gasp when he grabs N'jobu by the collar only to violently push him away.
"Kayin, stop!"
But he ignores me a grabs N'jobu once more.
"Who do you think you are to question other people's motive? No one asked you to follow us to this—Mind your own business!"
"Let go of him."
Sazayi stands up slowly, his eyes fixed on Kayin, and his voice even as he speaks.
"Don't make me force you to. Let go."
Tense seconds tick by before he eventually let go of N'jobu's clothes. He straightens his jacket as Kayin distances himself, utterly unbothered by what just happened to him, then eyes me.
"You have still not answered me."
"She doesn't owe you any answers. If you are so worried about safety, you are free to leave." Kayin retorts.
"Sure. But I want to know as well."
The attention shifts on Azikiwe, especially Kayin who is eyeing him dubiously, but he remains unperturbed.
"What?"
"You contracted us to escort you and the Nchāren n woman north. The only thing I was told on the job was that you were searching for something there, and that it could potentially be dangerous. The details you provided were vague, but the pay was generous enough that I did not care much for that." He looks straight at Kayin. "It becomes a different matter, however, if the job now implies venturing the Nguo, a matter you so conveniently forgot to mention. I like money, but not enough to die for it—What I am saying is, Kayin, my friend, you better clearly explain what is going on, or I will terminate my contract."
He lingers before adding, "And you will also give me the rest of my commission. Obviously."
"I agree with him," announces Gamba, "I have a family. I cannot risk my life for your suicide mission, no matter how valuable the artifact you are looking for is. You will have to count me out of it."
"But we are talking about the ancient Nchāren civilization here. Could be something really valuable," Ewa muses, "or very powerful. Are you not curious?"
"What's the point if I am dead?" Azikiwe shrugs.
"I don't care about an extinct civilization." Gamba briefly look at me, "No offence."
"This is not about a mere artifact!" Kayin exclaims. He looks at them in the eyes one after the other. "I am not stupid, I know how dangerous the Nguo is—I… I did not plan to go there in the first place. I hoped that we would find that evil before reaching it."
"Evil? What are you talking about?" Asks Sazayi.
"It's… complicated."
A heavy silence falls unto the camp, thick and suffocating. All eyes are fixated on Kayin. Their gazes pin him in place, sharp with unspoken questions. Accusatory in their silence. As if he had all the answers but stubbornly kept to himself.
I shift uneasily in place, a silent observer to what is unfolding. The guilt wells inside me—hot and bitter—rising until it sits in my throat like a stone I can't swallow.
This isn't right.
Kayin shouldn't be the one bearing this. He did nothing wrong—he only tried to help me.
And yet… I stand frozen. My limbs refuse to move. When I part my lips to speak, no sound comes. Just silence.
Should I just tell them the truth? But if I do that, what if they walk away?
None of them signed up for this, not really. They have already been led to this point without knowing the whole truth. They would not want to risk their lives to a cause they don't care about or understand. It would be their right if they did not want to be involved any further. It would be their right to leave… Kayin as well.
And I… I will be left all alone.
"I-I… I will explain," I force the words out.
From the corner of my eye Kayin whips his head back, wide-eyed. The look on his face is almost comical—I might've laughed if I wasn't so unnervingly aware of the silence pressing down,
I draw in a shaky breath, steeling myself for what is to come.
"I will tell you everything."
~~~~~~~~~~~
The night sky stretches like a vast ocean of ink—deep, dark, and unfathomably boundless. Its only adornment tonight is the moon, a soft glowing disc shaped like a bitten apple.
The peaceful sky above is the rival twin to the atmosphere below.
The camp is ghostly quiet. Not the calm, relaxed quiet it usual is any other night, but a tense one.
The fire crackles, defiant against the silence that has fallen. Around it is gathered a half-circle of haunted faces.
Gamba, Azikiwe and N'jobu stare at the fire, tight-faced, and lost in thought. Sazayi has his head cradled between his hands, and Ewa is sitting cross-legged, gazing blankly into the sky? Ike is now standing as well, staring arms crossed into the darkness.
Then suddenly, a chuckle breaks the silence.
"This is crazy, absolutely crazy." Sazayi blurts out, then falls silent again.
"Vyvy, what kind of evil was that boy talking about?" Ewa asks.
I lower my head. "I don't know. He was very vague about it."
"Are the words of that boy really be trusted?" N'jobu asks, "A revelation of that nature… it's not something so simple." He pauses before adding, "and why would he ask you of all people, why now?"
"I have no idea." I sigh.
His brows furrows into a deep frown. "You are woefully ignorant for someone tasked with the alleged fate of the world."
Kayin frowns besides me, and I can only shrug helplessly. "Sorry to disappoint."
Another silence follows.
"So, what now?"
I glance at the edge of the camp where Ike is posted, his eyes focused on me. The attention freezes me in place but thankfully Kayin answers in my stead.
"Nothing changes, we will continue north."
"You can't be serious," Sazayi blurts, "if this is true, if there is really something that might threaten the world, we have to inform the people who can properly deal with the situation. We need an army, not a bunch of mercenaries, archaeologists, and a sorceress from a fallen civilization."
"And who would believe it?" Asks Gamba.
"Well, we do have an individual from said civilization among us," points out Azikiwe, "but Gamba is right. Any establishment with authority would have a hard time to believe us—I barely believe it myself—and even if they did entertain the idea, they would be more focused on the opportunities of possessing a Nchāren n than the impending doom."
Sazayi shakes his head. "It doesn't mean that it is any less insane. The Nguo, that place is too dangerous, we don't know anything about it. We are all going to die for nothing."
They go back and forth on the pros and cons of venturing the Nguo for several more minutes, and as they do so, I finally resolve myself to speak.
So, before I give myself the occasion to talk myself out of it, I sit up and walk decisively at the centre of the group. The debate dies out and they all focus on me.
So, before I give myself the occasion to talk myself out of it, I sit up and walk decisively at the centre of the group. The debate dies out and they all focus on me.
"I... I owe you all an apology. I am sorry, for deceiving you, and embarking you on this without telling you the whole truth. It was... calloused of me." I look at each of them in the eye. "By now, you have already realized than I am no more informed on the state of things than you are--But somehow I have been given this task. I don't know why, and I really believe that there had to be someone more suited for this than me. I… I don't think I can do this on my own." I pause, trying to find the right words but there is no right way to say what I am about to say.
"... Please help me. I know… I am being phenomenally selfish, you never asked for this, and you are in every right to refuse, to walk away from this... Still, I am pleading with you—begging you—to help me. I-I can't do this on my own."
In my thirty-five years of existence, I had never felt as ashamed as I am now. I know I am not perfect; I am a recluse, awkward with people, nor am I a genius, I am not also the most courageous either, and I absolutely hate being in an unfamiliar environment—no, it terrifies me. But I always considered myself as a somewhat decent person.
Yet here I am, asking people to walk into danger because I am too scared to do it alone. And despite knowing that, despite knowing how disgustingly shameless it is, I am still glad that even if they all leave, Kayin will, at the very least, stay by my side.
"Vyvy, you really are terrible person, huh? Asking us to walk to our deaths."
"I-I…. I." But then I shut my mouth close. Do I even have the right to apologise?
"We need a moment."
Sazayi jumps off his seat, walks up to N'jobu and grabs his arm, at the latter's surprise. But he does not resist as they withdraw themselves out of ear shot, their steps quick and quiet.
I feel something drops deep in my stomach when I watch their retreating figures. I wonder if Sazayi is mad at me. I could not properly see his expression, but from the way he hurried away, he must be. I lied to him after all. He must feel betrayed, especially because he did not want to be here to begin with.
My nails dig into my palms to the point of hurting, but I register the pain. This is nothing to the feeling of having deceived someone I started thinking of as a friend.
"Let's say I accept," I jerk my head up so fast that I feel my neck crack, starring round-eyed at Gamba. "What do I get out of it?"
All I can do in the seconds that follow is stare at him as the meaning of his words barely register in my mind.
He is really considering it?
"If you want more money, just say it out loud." Kayin snaps, but he just shakes his head.
"Not exactly," Kayin scoffs, but he continues unbothered, "I want you to make me something. Will you agree?"
"Ah… Umm… Yes?" I stammer, "if it is within the realm of my capabilities."
"Protection charms, I want about seven of them. The wards you create are very powerful; you also appear to be quite knowledgeable in the craft of enchantments. So, I want you to make them especially potent."
"I… I can do that. What kind of items do you want me to turn into charms?"
He lowers his head as he considers my question. "Fabric, I guess."
"I would advise something denser, for the charm to last longer."
"Then Necklaces… and bracelets. Nothing too fancy"
"If you are going to make stuffs for others," Azikiwe says nonchalantly, "then make me powerful weapons, and I'll consider joining your mad little quest."
"You really had to ask for that?" Kayin snarls. To which he responds with a shrug.
"That's the least you could do when brazenly asking others to follow you in a suicide mission after deceiving them on the nature of their job for weeks." I flinch, and Kayin does the same next to me.
Then I say after a moment, "I am… not that good in that field. I know how to make a spell bank, but even then there are some specific materials than I need to make it—which I don't have… I don't even know that many powerful attack spells."
He frowns, and mutters something under his breath. Meanwhile I catch Ewa staring at me, she smiles when our eyes meet. She even waves at me.
"Do you… want something as well?"
"Mmmh… I'm still thinking about it—but I'll let you know when I have decided."
"Alright, let's get back on topic," Kayin cuts in, "you guys were deciding to leave."
"Why are you so eager to chase us out?" N'jobu stares down at Kayin, stopping right in front of him and folds his arms. Sazayi in contrast slips back into his seat, picks up his bowl, and starts eating with startling vigour. He never looks once in my direction.
My stomach churns.
"Ah-ah. You made your aversion for risking your life pretty clear, earlier. There is nothing else to discuss with you." Kayin answers coldly.
N'jobu frowns slightly but quickly buries it behind a calm mask.
"We will be coming." Then he frowns again when the silence becomes too long, "stop staring at me like that."
"Why?" Is the only question that surges. I am not sure whether it was Kayin or I who asked first… Maybe we did at the same time. And he said 'we'. Will Sazayi be joining as well?
N'jobu simply shrugs.
"You say that there is an evil brewing, and that it could potentially bring about our end. This concerns us, whether we like or not."
"I have to agree with N'jmbo, this once."
"—It's N'jobu!"
Ewa ignores him promptly. "If the world is really at stake, we have to do something. There are still so many things I haven't done yet."
"It still does not change the fact that going to the Nguo is pure madness," Azikiwe says.
Gamba shakes his head. "But we can't exactly just turn our backs and go our merry ways."
"I am very tempted to do just that." Azikiwe ruffles his head in frustration, "Massah, if I had known that this would happen, I would have never accepted this job."
The camp is deafeningly quiet for several minutes, with only the soft eerie sound of the wind and the small crackles of the fire.
"Let's at least check the place out," Ike announces, all heads turning to him. "The Nguo is dangerous, yes, and no one has ever returned from that place, but if that… boy Prophet sent Vyswe'eyaga there then must be a way to venture it somewhat safely."
"Very reassuring." Azikiwe drawls.
"I say we rest for the night." Sazayi suddenly declares. "We should give ourselves the time to digest all of tonight's revelations and discuss it again tomorrow with fresh minds."
His gaze slowly drifts to me, "Or is there something else you did not talk about?"
"Ah, n-no. There is nothing else…"
"Very well," Kayin says, sighing deeply, "then we will finish our talk tomorrow."