(AN: I need to clarify this at the beginning of the chapter, so you don't get completely confused. MC in this chapter is going insane, so his thought process is messed up. This is done purposely as the memories and personality he's receiving are from Wrath Subaru, who is mentally ill. Read all of it with a grain of salt. I did it this way to befuddle you. Have fun.)
Whispers began to circulate among the crowd of knights and mages.
He hadn't released a single pulse of mana, yet the insignia had momentarily hovered obediently in the air.
"He must have the Divine Protection of Telekinesis," someone murmured.
Toyota hadn't considered the rumors that would spawn from such a minor action, but he didn't particularly care. There was no real downside to showing off a few cards this early. In fact, it would only make him seem more intimidating, a threatening figure cloaked in mystery and power.
His power over the unseen hand was like that of a delayed telekinesis, with more diverse abilities and worse drawbacks, so no point in correcting it.
Many in the hall began chattering among themselves, but Toyota's Grey World was busy sweeping through the surrounding buildings, looking through the thick walls of the hall, trying to find the towering figure of a giant he had been awaiting since earlier given Rom's debt and his earlier instructions he didn't doubt that the old man would show up but without felt there might not be the same sense of urgency causing him to show up later than the main story timeline which was to be expected.
If not, then he should have arrived by now.
That was, until a single comment snapped his attention back and made his thoughts momentarily spiral.
"Surely, you didn't just find a replacement for someone you failed to protect, Sword Saint."
The condescending voice oozed sarcasm.
"Maybe you were just desperate and gave up, Sword Saint. To think you'd choose… a cripple."
Toyota's emotions spiked as any attack to rei would be the same as insulting him only more effective as he didn't care what others thought of him.
His perception immediately flicked to Rei, her expression was dark, visibly distressed.
A deep rage built up in his chest, yet he forcibly suppressed it.
How cocky of these trash to insult, antagonize, and degrade a being with the strength to nuke a country merely by swinging a sword, who did these morons think they were?
These so-called wise men were scum. He knew this already. A portion of them, across every timeline, had even formed an informal Rei hate club, a collective effort to isolate, belittle, and contain the threat that was the Sword Saint.
Their thought process was completely misguided by isolating the being that was the sword saint; they only made her emotions more unstable if it wasn't for Rei's strange inherent subservient nature or if she had any ambition beyond her current post, then who could even stop her?
In the original timeline, that specific group of wisemen had gone so far as to submit a request for the assassination of the candidate supported by the Sword Saint, one that reached the underground network operated by the Sin Archbishop of Lust as a side gig.
It had failed. No affirmation of taking on the request had come.
The sin archbishop of Lust wouldn't risk going near the sword saint and the potential consequences or losses. Simply because if you were fighting the sword saint the best possible outcome was to escape.
But here, in this timeline... it appeared the sin archbishop of lust had taken the request.
And that was most likely his fault.
Carefully watching Rei's expression as a barrage of insults was hurled her way, Toyota felt the urge to purge these old farts on the spot.
He took one last look at Rei. Her face was clouded, darkened by distress. His concern twisted into something sharper. His expression turned cold and serious. Killing intent surged.
Then, like a switch flipping in his mind, he slipped into incomplete memories, memories not his. Again.
He was on a throne. Two subordinates flanked him. He flipped a gold coin into the air, off of his thumb. Watching as it spun in the air, his fingers moving with practiced ease. He was tired, he was fearful. Everyone was a threat. Especially his allies, he would have killed them if he could. Without color, he couldn't trust them, any of them, because liars, even when not lying, had the potential to lie. To betray. How many times had he died to betrayal already? Only those with color stay true stay the same.
But just as he started to focus, a resonance, faint yet powerful, echoed through his consciousness. Something foreign clashed with his thoughts, forcibly ejecting him from the vision.
No time to dwell on the strange vision. His Grey World flickered, alerting him to a familiar presence approaching fast: a mass of muscle the giant, Rom.
Mind now multitasking, he silently directed his Unseen Hand to retrieve a piece of paper and a quill he had purposely dropped outside the hall earlier.
"That's strike one," he muttered darkly.
"What do you mean, strike on—?" The anti-Rei faction wiseman snapped.
Toyota didn't respond. He didn't need to.
The heat in his chest, the burn crawling up his spine, he wanted to crush this man's heart in his invisible grip. To watch him cough up blood. To see fear bloom in his eyes right before the end.
He felt abhorrence, annoyance, and disgust toward this world. The colors, once faded but still present, were steadily draining away, leaving everything more and more monochrome.
"Answer my question instead of being an echo," Toyota snapped.
"W-Well..." The man hesitated, clearly intimidated. But why? Toyota had only asked a question. Wasn't he hiding his feelings? Wasn't this all just a performance?
Meanwhile, his Unseen Hand scribbled frantically, writing notes on the paper he'd retrieved earlier. A sharp headache pierced his skull. Long-term use of making the Unseen Hand tangible had consequences; it wasn't just about splitting attention. It was like growing an extra limb and then commanding every limb to do something different. His already overloaded mind began to splinter further.
(System Notification: Wrath Subaru has finished fully integrating into the Composite. Personality fully added.)
But Toyota didn't notice.
His focus was consumed: scanning the crowd's emotions with Grey World, monitoring favorability charts, writing with the Unseen Hand, and keeping up his performance. Every cognitive function was pushed to the limit.
Out of habit, he rubbed his fingers together, expecting the comfort of a familiar object. A gold coin. Why he expected it, or why it comforted him, he didn't know.
Yet sure enough, a coin appeared between his fingers. Was it gold? He couldn't say. But when it touched his skin, it chimed with a sound that rang deep in his chest.
Looking down, he realized something strange: his mouth was moving on its own.
But it wasn't confusion he felt. No, he understood. He had it now.
He had control.
"I am the one who decides," his voice echoed off the stone walls.
His mind caught up to his mouth just as he turned toward Commander Marcos. He couldn't sustain this split-mind state much longer. The only reason he'd managed this far was likely due to Gluttony's perfect memory, or some form of it. He was conscious of every action he was taking, fully aware of each thread he was pulling.
As he strode back toward the candidates, a sharp pain throbbed in his head. His perception zeroed in on the only person still in color, the one constant in this grey-tinted world.
Rei.
Still kneeling, head bowed.
His friend.
The only one he could trust.
He gave the Unseen Hand one last order. The note was finished, directed to Rom. It detailed when to enter, alongside a warning about the current guard positions. The moment it was sent, the pressure in his skull lessened slightly.
"Royal Selection candidates," Marcos announced. "Please step forward."
One by one, the candidates did their introductions, scripted, nearly identical to their anime counterparts. The event was proceeding as it should.
And yet, he had already changed the purpose of the event.
By diverting the attention of the Wise Men onto himself, he had successfully kept their eyes away from Subaru and Emilia. Roswaal's carefully laid plan to isolate Subaru was already unraveling.
Toyota's gaze flicked toward the edge of the crowd.
Beatrice.
Her role while in the capital was simple: silence Subaru's impulsiveness if it came to that. A last line of defense.
The easiest way to anger Subaru was to bring out his inner simp, his deep, unwavering dependency on Emilia. The only person who has never attempted to harm him.
And sure enough, her kind, innocent voice rang out across the chamber.
Toyota's attempts to ignore her existence failed the moment her words reached him. Her tone was soft, yet firm. Her eyes, clear and resolute.
"I only have one wish," Emilia said. "For all to be equal. I want to create a nation where no one is above another, where all citizens are equal."
Toyota's breath caught in his throat.
Wrath Subaru's memories flashed before his eyes as the statement triggered some kind of vision without warning.
A white room.
White walls.
White furniture.
White clothes.
White bed.
Confined to it sat Emilia, pristine and still, as he, walked into the room. Dark hollows framing his eyes, sleep-deprived and sunken. She still had her color left one of the only ones left he could trust.
"My wish," she smiled yet it was a forlorn smile, "is to create a world without discrimination. A place where being born a half-elf doesn't mean your life is decided before it begins."
She looked at him with bright, amethyst eyes. Eyes too bright. Sickly in their fervor.
"What's wrong, Subaru?" she asked sweetly.
"You look tired."
She patted her lap gently, like a mother beckoning a child. Her smile… twisted, stretching past comfort into something quietly terrifying.
Roswaals voice, sing song and dramatic, broke the image of Emilia beckoning to use her lap as a pillow.
Toyota knew that something was causing this weird phenomenon of being brought into memories. He had no time to figure out the cause or solution. Why couldn't this weird abnormality happen when he was in private?
Toyota began to recall Emilia's past.
Emilia's secondary wish was to free the residents of her hometown, to free the people of Elior Forest, still in ice-encased slumber caused by her own absurd power.
Emilia was way more powerful than portrayed in the anime. When not holding back, she could freeze a large city in less than 30 seconds. She became more powerful the more her emotions turned into outbursts, and that wasn't even taking into account her absurd physical strength; it might be because of her half-elf lineage.
What was he doing again?
Okay, it's my turn to get my introduction out of the way and start my little tirade.
"Finally…Lord Crimson and his attendant, the knight Reinhard van Astrea!" Marcos announced.
As they stepped forward, Toyota's eyes drifted again to Rei.
She followed silently, solemnly. Her face was unreadable, but not to him.
Was she really that affected by their words? They kept bringing up her failure to protect, Felt yet it was hypocritical since they were the ones who put her death into motion.
His hand clenched around the coin still in his grip.
If it had been a construct created by him, just another mana construct, then it should've vanished by now. But it hadn't.
The color was off, not quite gold.
Was it painted?
Or something else entirely?
His Gray Worlds perception only made him more curious.
His thoughts were interrupted again.
That same councilman, the one who had mocked Rei earlier, opened his mouth once more…
"The Astrea family offers a cripple to rule us, while the Margrave Mathers endorses a half-devil? This is utter foolishness."
The words were venomous.
I want to kill him.
That thought rang loud, too loud. Toyota had killed before. But now, his own thoughts felt disjointed, fragmented. What was going on with his mind? The dissociation with his memories was getting worse.
Am I becoming bipolar?
No… it's something deeper.
His glare sharpened, lips curling as he spoke with chilling composure.
"That's strike two."
The coin spun idly in his fingers. The more he touched it, the more grounded he felt, like it was anchoring him to something real. Control. He was regaining control.
His gaze flicked to Rei. If she was really being targeted because of the blindfold…
Should I take it off?
Maybe just keep his eyes closed, play it off with a squinty-eye illusion, like Ichimaru Gin from Bleach.
No. Subaru might recognize me.
His mouth moved again, words spilling out, unaware without his consent. Detached. Disconnected.,
He berated himself internally.
Across the room, Emilia flinched, her expression tightening. Silently, she turned and stepped down from the platform.
"You filthy woman—!"
The wisemen growled after her, veins bulging with rage.
Subaru surged forward instinctively, but was immediately stopped, Beatrice holding him back.
Then… Elsa.
Toyota had almost forgotten she was even there.
She stepped forward, drawing a kukri knife from the back of her dress With exaggerated flair, she mimed stabbing the antagonistic wisemen right in the gut, eyes flicking toward Toyota with a glimmer of mischief.
Was she trying to calm him or entertain him?
Elsa had noticed it, Toyota's sanity collapsing. The strange dissonance caused by something.
How she noticed was something she had personally experienced. Intense emotions, yet in her case, it was more of a way to cope.
She wasn't a genius, a therapist, or a doctor.
She was bored.
If keeping his mind grounded, occupied, it would help the one man who could perceive her, was aware of her—
Then it was a win-win.
Toyota's mind began to spin. Something was wet on his ears; it couldn't be sweat; it was too viscous, and sweat wasn't so bright. Putting a hand to his blindfold, he felt it. Wait. There was no coin in his hand.
This confirmed something in his mind. Something was wrong, and this fact actually had the opposite effect. He felt more calm and relieved at knowing he was not losing his mind for no purpose.
"Oh, I see now," he focused entirely on the wiseman. "So now you're switching sides from feminist to misogynist?" He turned slightly, mock inquisitive. "Pick a side, old man. Sooo hypocritical."
Letting out a deep breath, he steadied his body, which was light, too light, as if he were floating. His face scanned the crowd. Opinions of himself ranged from arrogant to attention-seeking.
He was Toyota Crimson, not Subaru. Those memories are just tools to reach the ending. He is not Subaru Natsuki. A drowning man will clutch at even straws to live; he did not need to panic; he wasn't underwater yet.
FOCUS.
His voice rang out loud and sharp like a whip.
"Shut up and sit down, let me do my introduction, then you can make a rambling imbecile out of yourself."
(AN: I will write the bonus chapter tomorrow. I know I'm dragging this out, but after re-reading all of the Re: Zero IF side stories, I got my mind more deeply rooted in psychological crap. I've got a few people asking about my other FF it's not posted anywhere yet. I'm stocking chapters. I might do a preview release to get some opinions about it in a little bit.
I've set an official release schedule: Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Although when I get bored, I add extra.
Bonus chapters will drop on Saturdays if my demands are met. 🔫
Trade deal:
You give me 150 power stones, and I give you a bonus chapter.
Sounds fair, right?)