She's always, always following me.
Even though I don't really understand how good she is at hiding, the moment I step into the hospital, she immediately reveals herself in full.
No normal person would sit on a tree branch, muttering some nonsense right outside the window, roasting a bunch of cockroaches in plain sight—so blatantly it's beyond ridiculous.
AND YET NO ONE IN THE ROOM COMPLAINS AT ALL??
Do they not see her? Or am I the normal one in a group of weirdos… or am I the weirdo in a group of normal people?
…Probably I'm the weirdo. Calling them weird would be rude anyway.
"Give it back!" She tried to cover her face while pointing with her other hand at the skewer with three roasted cockroaches.
Too late to hide her face—I already saw everything clearly when she was staring at me through the window earlier.
"What? You want it back?" Kai struck a pose and pointed at her.
"Yes!"
"Then say your name."
"No! I—as a member of the Cult of Sexual Worship—will never reveal my name!"
"Ohhh, so you're from the sex cult? Interesting, very interesting~"
"Ah! I slipped up!"
"So… are you gonna tell me your name, little girl? Or else these fine boys are gonna be hugged tight in my arms~"
Kai stuck out his tongue and wiggled it toward the roasted cockroaches.
"Y-You! Don't be so cruel! I will definitely take back Cock-chan!"
That's the WORSE name you can choose.
She pulled out a dagger and started channeling mana into it.
"You'd better return my dinne- I mean Cock-chan!!!"
"Oh really? Why didn't you say so earlier? I already ate them all."
Kai chewed dramatically with exaggerated chomping sounds, looking at her with innocent eyes.
…Dude, I know your childhood was rough, but it didn't have to reach the level of actually eating cockroaches, right?
The girl stared in utter shock at the horrifying scene, instantly losing all will to fight and collapsing.
Fighting on an empty stomach is basically a death sentence…
"Y-You! Just you wait—I will have my revenge!!!"
"UFO!!"
"Huh? What UFO?!"
She immediately turned around, but there was nothing there.
"You tricked me, you bastard! I knew it—"
She spun back around, furious, only to see Kai squatting down, holding a white flower and smiling brightly at her.
"Tah-dah~"
She blinked rapidly, rubbed her eyes, blinked again.
"You… what are you doing?"
"Giving you a flower, little girl. You look like a kid who's malnourished and pitiful… poor thing, poor thing…"
"Hey! I'm not a little girl—"
"Yeah yeah, I know, miss baby."
"THAT'S EVEN WORSE!! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT?!"
Seeing her completely flustered, anxious, and confused, I gave a sly grin.
'Cute. I'm gonna adopt her as my little sister, then Reito, then Kanna, then Baron, then—'
Ehhh… Looks like this guy just really wants younger siblings to dote on. His sis-con / bro-con blood is screaming to be satisfied.
"So? Is it fun stalking me? Got any good notes to send back to the cult yet?"
"H-How did you know?!"
"Guessed right, huh?"
"Wh-What?!"
Kids are so easy to trick, especially someone like her.
"No way… I failed as a stalker… I'm no longer worthy to follow the cult…"
She slumped down in despair, giving up on life.
'Cult of Sexual Worship? And they sent someone to follow me? This is weird. Did I do something to catch their attention?'
Just the name alone already screams bad news—especially in this shitty world.
Chances are this girl will end up getting abused or worse by that group sooner or later. How can you trust those kinds of organizations?
"Since you're following me, that means your cult has some reason for it, right? Like… checking me out to recruit me or something?"
"No idea. I just follow orders. Also why the hell would I tell you?! You ate my cockroach!"
"Your cockroach was delicious. Let me repay you with something even better—as long as you follow me."
Her eyes widened. She covered her chest with both hands and backed away.
"I'm not following a pervert."
"Yeah, then keep stalking me while your stomach growls all night. I'll enjoy digesting your dinner in my belly and sleep like a baby."
"…"
Heh, look at her face—she's so mad she wants to bite me. Ragebait really works wonders.
"Fine… take me to eat. Hurry up."
"WITH ONE CONDITION!"
"You already ate my dinner and now you want conditions?!"
Kai stepped closer and placed both hands on her shoulders.
"Call me big brother."
"…"
"Call me or not?"
"…No."
"Ohhh, suddenly so sleepy. Bye then~"
"…"
She gritted her teeth, face burning with embarrassment, clutching her cloak tightly.
"B-Big… Big brother."
"Hm?"
"Big brother…"
"Hmmmm?"
"BIG BROTHER!!"
"Good job. What's your name, little sis?"
"…Just call me Eru."
***
"Huh?"
Eru twitched as she watched Kai walk into a dark alley.
This kind of place is usually where the worst crimes happen—including rape.
Coming from the Cult of Sexual Worship, she knew all too well, she could recite dozens of different methods by heart.
So this guy wants to do me? Of course.
Boys are all brainless dicks anyway. Next he's probably gonna say "my semen is your dinner."
Hah, what was I even expecting? Whatever, might as well get it over with—
"OI OI OI! I SEE YOU'RE ABOUT TO MESS WITH A DECENT GIRL, HUH?!"
Kai puffed out his chest and slammed it straight into the face of some ugly bastard who was gripping a terrified girl's arm in the alley.
"Who the hell are you—"
"Who I am doesn't matter. All you need to know is that if you don't let go of that girl right now, your asshole is gonna bloom tonight."
"You fucking—"
"DON'T BLAME ME FOR BEING CRUEL! CENTER PIERCE! MILLION YEARS OF AGONY!!!!"
Kai instantly teleported behind him, clasped both hands together, extended his index and middle fingers, and stabbed them full force into the guy's ass.
After training endlessly inside Pandora's barrier, his physical strength had reached his strongest, so this move was basically guaranteed to make the guy unable to shit for life.
"Hm?"
Kai blinked. The guy froze stiff.
Huh? Why? That hit was strong. Maybe not enough?
In that case—
MILLION YEARS OF AGONY! BILLION YEARS OF AGONY! TRILLION YEARS OF AGONY! QUADRILLION YEARS OF AGONY—
Pffft!
"…"
Kai stopped. The guy's pants were soaked in blood.
Shit… went too far.
So Kai gathered all his strength and kicked the guy flying into the night sky.
Then he turned to the girl. She thanked him nonstop.
Eru just stood there, completely baffled.
"Huh? Weren't you planning to do me? So your target was this girl instead?"
Actually… it doesn't really matter!
Just because he didn't touch me doesn't mean he won't touch the girl he just "saved."
Saving someone so coincidentally like that—no one would believe it! I understand men best—
"You got money? Consider it payment for me saving you from getting your virginity taken or raped or whatever. Deal?"
"Huh? Oh, sure!"
"…"
Eru watched as Kai kissed the bill, completely ignoring the rescued girl who was now looking at him with sparkling "first love" eyes.
Finally! Kai found his true JOB!
*****
The Church arc begin...