"Umm…"
Oh! Irelia just rubbed her eyes! She's probably about to wake up.
She sits up, eyes still sleepy and hazy, not fully awake yet.
Then she looks around and lets out a big yawn.
"Kaaaai… I'm so hungry…"
…?
Everyone immediately turns to look at Kai, who's now extremely confused.
Huh? What? Why is she suddenly calling my name??
"Hm? Where are we? Who are all these people? Where's Grandma?! Huahh! Don't tell me… we've been kidnapped by the Snow Queen?!"
"…why does that sound so familiar?" Baron raises an eyebrow at her.
"I remember I talked about the fairy tale The Snow Queen in class before," Tyler says, looking at Baron.
"Now that you mention it… In that fairy tale, there's a character named Kai who's… like a childhood friend or neighbor or something, right?" Alice says vaguely, starting to remember.
"Childhood friend and neighbor aren't that different anyway," Aura immediately chimes in.
Then everyone turns to look at Kai again.
Is this a coincidence or on purpose? Irelia's real name is Gerda, her skill is ice-related, and she can even turn into the Snow Queen.
While Irelia is confused and panicking, she suddenly notices the bandage over my left eye.
"Kai?! What happened to your left eye?!" She jumps out of bed, shoves Vellor aside, grabs my face with both hands.
Vellor watches how Irelia is acting, then glances at his subordinate.
'She really is completely different from before…'
"Uh… Irelia? Calm down a bit."
"Irelia? I'm Gerda, you know? Did you forget?"
'She really isn't the Irelia we knew anymore. Appearance, personality — everything is completely different…' Vellor calmly observes, book still in hand.
"Umm…"
Kanna's voice suddenly cuts in, making Irelia… or rather Gerda now, turn toward her.
"You're… standing way too close to Kai. Could you move back a little? Please?"
Gerda hears Kanna, then stares at her very carefully.
"Ah, you little demon! What are you doing here?!"
"Who're you calling little?!"
Kanna and Gerda glare at each other, clearly not liking one another.
"…" Kai looks at both of them, then calmly takes a sip of tea.
"Kai! Be careful of this demon! She'll use her magic mirror to amplify all the worst parts of people! She once used it on you and then you kept pulling your pants down begging to fuck me!"
Pfffttt!!!
"…dude" Vellor lets out a single word, now completely soaked in tea — and his book too.
"Uegh bleh! What did you just say?!" Kai looks like he can't believe his eyes.
"T-That's so rude! How dare you blame me and call Kai a pervert! I won't believe it unless the person he's targeting is me!" Kanna fires back.
…wait a second, something's off here?
"Of course I refused! Kai is my childhood friend, nothing more, nothing less!" Gerda points at Kanna.
"Phew."
"That's why I sucked his dick!"
"ALRIGHT WHAT THE FUCK?!"
Give me back my innocent image of her right now!
"W-Wow, what does dick taste like?" Alice asks, face slightly red.
"Alice, don't ask. This has gone way too far," Baron quickly covers Alice's mouth.
"Truly a man among men. Already banging innocent girls at such a young age," Rocker wipes away fake tears.
"Kai has grown up. Even though he's only 15," Tyler also wipes away tears.
What the hell are you guys proud of?!
'No way… Me, a total degenerate, actually fucked this girl?! Kai, oh Kai! She's only 15! The age I fear the most!!'
Sleeping with someone younger than you is basically insulting yourself. Kai only likes people his own age!
…well okay, physically they're the same age, but Kai's soul sure as hell isn't!!
"Y-You! You're making it up! The Kai I know would never do that to someone like you! Your pussy is way too cold for Kai's dick to even go in!"
"Of course! In my town it's always snowing, so we would never go beyond the allowed limit!" Gerda points at Kanna again.
"R-Really?" Kai asks in fear, terrified she's about to drop another bombshell.
"Of course, Kai! Did you forget? We promised each other we wouldn't take each other's virginity!"
"Phew."
"But anal was allowed. It keeps you warm pretty effectively, so I was usually the one putting it in your—"
"AGHHHH!!!!"
GIVE ME BACK MY FAIRY TALE RIGHT FUCKING NOW! THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH!!!!
STOP RUINING CHILDREN'S INNOCENCE!!!
"Why is Kai hiding under the blanket crying? Sex is pretty normal here, you know? 15 is old enough," Abaric says casually.
"Cuck Hell World really is a fucking unlivable place…" Reito makes a disgusted face.
"Alright, are you guys done playing around?" Vellor claps his hands and looks around.
Then he turns to Gerda.
"Well, she really isn't the Irelia we knew anymore. So punishing unrelated people would be unfair. Therefore, the case of Irelia committing murder and treason is officially closed starting today."
"However, that doesn't mean we'll let our guard down. Rocker will stay here on assignment and keep an eye on her while he's at it."
"Aye aye Captain!" Rocker stands up and salutes.
"Alright, this time of day they're probably still selling tons of Yaoi Furry books. Hope I make it in time. Bye." Vellor waves and just leaves.
Rocker's colleagues also sigh and exit the hospital room.
The people left in the room now look at Gerda, who's currently fighting with Kanna.
"Kai, how should I put this… You're pretty lucky, huh," Baron smirks.
"Lucky how?" Kai glares at him.
"Two girls already have feelings for you without even trying. I don't know about Aura, but you and her seem really close. I'll always support you."
"…dude, you're seriously saying that while Aura is right here?"
"Aura, does it bother you?" Baron says loudly so Aura can hear.
"A little, but I'm fine."
"See? She's not complaining."
"…"
Tyler and Rocker also sit down near him, both smiling.
"Even though it's been a while, you've really overwhelmed me. When you get a wife later, remember to tell me, okay?" Rocker grins happily.
"If you ever need someone to pretend to be your dad, just call me," Tyler pats Kai's head.
This body already has a dad and he's living with my little sister.
"Be honest, you keep getting weirder and weirder people around you, don't you?" Alice asks, opening a bag of apple pies.
"Ohhh Apple pie!!!"
Gerda and Kanna immediately stop fighting. Reito and Abaric, who were just watching, also look over.
Vokath is the only one still enjoying being pampered by his wife.
"…hey hey, why is everyone suddenly crowding my bed?" Kai scratches his head, staring at the apple pie now sitting on his blanket.
"This pie is kinda small. Not sure if there's enough for everyone," Baron turns to ask Alice.
"If it's not enough I'll go get more. What's there to worry about?"
"…Mom, I love you."
"Just eat."
And so everyone grabs an apple pie and starts eating, leaving only the empty tray.
"…" Kai looks down, then looks at everyone who already took one.
Hey.
Why am I the only one who didn't get any?