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Neville looked at Hermione who was now blushing.
"Oh, alright! It was in Chapter 7 of the 1923 edition which I found in a used bookstore in Diagon Alley. It had a lot of wonderful spells that weren't in the current edition because they were deemed unsuitable for children to learn."
"Oh, that's a relief," said Neville. "Now, I don't feel so thick for having never heard of it."
"So to recap," said Harry acidly, "you were concerned about Jim and Ron doing something foolish, so you followed them out and then helped them break into an out-of-bounds area with an illegal lock-picking charm."
"It's not illegal, Harry, just ... frowned upon. Besides, they do teach it in upper year classes. You can't practice warding a door against the Alohamora if you don't know how to cast it."
"Ah, so you can ward the door leading to the deadly Cerberus against the Lock-Opening Charm that precocious First Years can cast, but the staff didn't bother to do so because ... you know, I don't even care anymore. I'll give myself a headache if I keep trying to apply common sense to this school."
Harry looked over at Neville, who seemed amused rather than embarrassed. "Wait a minute. You say you forgot the password to get into your dorm? I thought that Remember-whatsit was supposed to prevent that."
"Oh no. Apparently, it just turns red when I've forgotten something important, but it doesn't actually tell me what."
"That seems spectacularly unhelpful."
Neville stiffened. "It was a gift from my Gran. I don't care if Malfoy thinks it's stupid..."
"Easy, Neville. Draco was just being ... Draco. Besides, I'm reliably informed that he has one himself and was actually mocking you for yours being an antique. Apparently, the newer models are much smaller and sleeker. Probably a Scandinavian influence. I blame IKEA."
The other boy, on whom Harry's joke was completely lost, merely shrugged. "It's kind of a tradition for Longbottoms to reuse family heirlooms. That's why I'm using my dad's wand instead of a new one."
Hermione's brow furrowed. "You can do that? Just use a family member's wand? Mr. Ollivander must have made me try fifteen wands before we found the right one."
"And twice that number for me. He kept going on about how 'the wand chooses the wizard' and stuff like that."
Neville shrugged again, but Harry persisted. "Nev, I know you've been frustrated about how much trouble you've been having in classes, but it looks to me like you're doing fine in everything except wand-work. The book on wand lore I picked up at Ollivander's says that using a wand that's unsuited for you at best makes it hard to work magic and at worst can be physically dangerous. Is it possible that your wand isn't compatible and that's what's holding you back?
"It's my father's wand, Harry! He was a great wizard, and I want to be worthy of him!" exclaimed the boy, who was becoming upset. Pince shushed loudly from her desk, and Neville ducked his head.
Hermione patted his leg and said gently, "We know, Neville. But you're not a carbon copy of your father. Your mother was a great witch as well. And half of you comes from her. Was her wand made of the same materials as your father's?"
Neville closed his eyes. "I ... don't think so. I understand what you're saying. If ... if my wand work doesn't improve, I'll talk to Gran about getting a new one."
"Like you promised to talk to the nurse about your magic and your memory issues?" thought Harry, though he said nothing aloud.
"Well, I suppose we should head on down to breakfast before the Weasel eats it all. But both of you, please, stop trying to follow after Jim Potter and save him from himself. I understand the desire to stop Jim from costing you even more house points, but it's not worth the risk of you two getting into trouble or possibly even hurt." Harry shook his head. "By the way, I never heard. How many points did McGonagall take yesterday after that broom nonsense with Jim and Draco?"
Neville and Hermione looked at each somewhat nervously.
"What?" asked Harry, suddenly apprehensive..
Thirty seconds later, after the trio had been kicked out of the Library because of Harry's yelling...
"Unbelievable! This place is absolutely unbelievable! A teacher says 'don't do this or you'll be expelled,' Jim Potter does that very thing a minute later, and not only is he not expelled, he gets on the flipping house Quidditch team! Bloody hell!"
"Language, Harry!" said Hermione.
"I bet he's the youngest Seeker in, what, twenty years? Thirty?"
Neville coughed. "A century."
"GAAAAAAH!"
"Harry, please. Think it through."
"Oh, by all means, Hermione, explain what rational reason there is for putting Jim Potter on the Gryffindor Quidditch team, other than McGonagall caring more about a stupid trophy than any pretense of school discipline!"
"Professor McGonagall, Harry," Hermione corrected. Harry actually sneered at that, which startled Neville. He was used to sneering Slytherins, but he'd never seen Harry do it before. He was surprisingly good at it.
"Listen, Harry," she continued. "Yes, this seems grossly unfair, but think about it from Professor McGonagall's point of view. They've been using sticks pretty hard with Jim to no avail, so they've decided to give him a really big carrot."
Neville looked back and forth between the two. "I have no idea what you're on about. Carrot? Is this like that 'ninja' thing from last week?"
Harry sighed. "It's a Muggle expression, Nev. To get a donkey to move you can either hit it on the behind with a stick or dangle a carrot in front of its face. It means that they obviously can't control Jim with detentions, let alone loss of house points, so they're giving him something he desperately wants – the status of being on the house Quidditch team – which they can then threaten to revoke if he acts out of line."
"Exactly," said Hermione. "And as an added bonus, the Gryffindor captain is a madman named Oliver Wood who has set up a truly grueling practice schedule – twelve hours a week. Possibly more as the first match draws near. We are playing you lot after all. That's twelve hours or more a week he'll be under the supervision of upper year students and kept out of mischief."
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