After an hour of stumbling and false directions, we manage to make it to her housing.
Fumbling for her device, she slams it against the door scanner. After it fails to verify, she nearly chucks her phone on the ground.
Before she can, I take it, tapping it on the scanner as the latch opens.
The room is dark, lit only by the blue caustic light projected on the ceiling. In the center lies a circular unmade bed, the fur blankets halfway slumped on the ground.
On the nightstand is a picture of Somnia, and a boy- they look related. "Somnia, who is thi-"
She suddenly pushes me onto the bed before crawling on top. "This is-" She hiccups. "what you were gunning for from the start, wasn't it?"
"I can't say being sexually assaulted by my teacher was on my schedule."
"Shush, I know how you boys work... I think."
Pressing the button beside her core, the white striped bodysuit encasing her, loosens, causing the baggy outfit to fall to her waist.
Her body is covered in various reflective snowflake tattoos.
I know I should be a little more bashful about a beautiful woman stripping before me, but I feel so damn tired. "Are you sure you should be doing this? I assume scandals could cost you your career." I sigh.
"Hmm..." She shrugs, "probably."
To think people look up to this women as a hero.
Leaning down, she clicks the button on my armor; with a drunken tug she yanks it off.
The blushing smirk she wears suddenly falls into a frown as her eyes widen.
Lurching forward, she begins bawling. "You can't imagine how difficult it is to be a pro, yet the only thing holding you back from being one of the greats is something you can't control!"
I have never been the best a comforting people, so I just pat her head? "I would imagine that's rough; but they're wrong, I saw how strong you were when you fought those Strain."
"Tell that to the government!" Wiping her eyes, she looks down at me. Her eyes narrow as she crosses her arms. "And, why do you look so discontent? Am I not only weak, but also not pretty?"
"No... that's just discontent with my existence. I don't mind doing this...." Taking a moment I realize this might be an opportunity. "But if I do, can you train me?"
She pauses, looking at me in disbelief as her eyes widen. "You- you make it sound like I owe you for doing this!"
"I want to learn how to compress the ice into the bullets like you do."
"Despite having a woman ontop of you, you still choose to be scholarly?" She pauses, placing her finger on her glossy lips. "Well... sure, I guess?"
Leaning down, she scrounges through my backpack. "Now, where are your condoms dirt-" She hiccups. "Dirty boy, I know you were hoping for this."
She misplaces her hand, causing her to slip forward and accidently headbutting me.
"Ow." She rubs her forehead. "Guess we're going commando."
"I don't think that's the right word."
Slamming her head down on my chest, she knocks the wind out of me as she begins to weep once more. "People always looking down on me cause I'm a girl or my ice affinity. Mom always telling me I should have a husband already, and dad... actually my dad's pretty cool. Still-"
Trying to find her balance, she presses down on my chest, causing the fuse to pop out with a chilly mist.
"Whoopsie."
She drunkenly fumbles for the fuse before looking down the core.
The dark azure lights in the room reflect of her widening icy blue eyes. "Wha-!?"
Grabbing my shoulders, she pins me back down. "How did you advance your affinity?! Tell me Coffy!"
"Well, it's..." I stutter.
"If I could advance, I could-" she hiccups as she begins to grin. "I could afford the Mark 7 Pluto Paunch! a new car! and I wouldn't have to live in that roach infested apartment!" She shakes her head. "Calm down girl, nows no time for daydreaming." She lunges back down on me with desperate blue eyes.
It seems I was right; the government doesn't understand the cores either- or at least not publicly. Then again, my hypothesis may be wrong, and she just miscalculated my initial affinity.
But it would make sense for a hyper emotional being to have their power determined by the strongest emotion of them all: the desire to find purpose.
I could tell her my theory of how to advance. But, for some reason, it feels like the wrong thing to do.
Still, it wouldn't hurt to give her a hint. "Why do you fight?"
Pushing off my face, she leans back while scratching her head. "Why do I fight? This is some odd foreplay, but I guess I'll play along." She clenches her fist with the utmost confidence. "I fight for the paycheck!"
That explains why she is stuck on ice. "But why? In the scheme of things, it won't matter. Whether you're a billionaire, or you're forced to scrounge up polar, it won't change the color of the sky, the sun will still rise, your dirge will sound the same."
"Damn, I was reaching for your rubbers, but now you've got me reaching for my razor. Nihilism is an odd way to get a woman wet. If anything, it sobered me up."
I ignore her carefree attitude; it feels as though I'm talking only to myself.
My words feel so monotone and defeated. "We defeat the Strain, then what? Something else will take their place. We will continue fighting until we meet a wall that cannot be climbed nor crumbled. In the end, we will be killed out all the same."
Jolting me from my hazy nihilism, she karate chops my head. "No shit."
"Ow." I groan, rubbing my forehead."
"Were you even listening to my awesome introduction speech bout us High Rollers?"
She throws her arms out with a theatrical grin. "Nothing matters! Our generosity, our self sacrifice will mean nothing in 100 ye- hell, 1 year. The High Rollers live only for themselves, chasing sins until we burn up, or out."
"Then, can one's sins be a purpose?"
She pauses, looking up. "It certainly seems shallow, then again I live for money, so we would be in the same sandbar."
"What if your only desire is to destroy others' dreams?"
She tilts her head, trying to hold back a snicker. "Uh... that sounds like something the villain of a children's show would say. So, Mojo Jojo, what exactly do you mean by that?"
"During the invasion, I killed a Strai-"
"Welllll, that was more of an assist."
"There was a different one, a speedster."
A smile evolves on her face as she beams at me. "Really?!" Scratching my head, she gives me a noogie. "All on your own? Looks like I'm not such a bad teacher after all."
"My entire life I felt so hollow. I spent so long trying to figure out why I exist, only to come empty-handed. Even when I fell upon the Nightcore, it was right after a failed suicide. At the time, death seemed so blissful."
A smile falls on my face as I begin to remember the feeling. "But when I killed that Strain, I truly felt happy. I had no noble thoughts in mind; my joy was purely from the idea of stealing their life."
My gleeful smile crumbles into a tired face of uncertainty. "Meanwhile, they attacked us with a goal and desire to achieve a purpose. Yet, when I killed him, I didn't; I was a husk who selfishly wanted to live. But, for what?"
Somnia raises and eyebrow with concern. "It seems like your life is an endless rainstorm. So, if that's what gives you purpose, I say go for it." She sighs lying down on me. "Still, it's quite the heartless sunshine."
"But why should my life, be prioritized over there's? If anything, it becomes a simple equation; my happiness comes at the cost of someone's life. The price of my joy is too expensive, so maybe the best thing I can not just for those around me, but for myself, is to end it al-"
I'm suddenly suffocated as she grabs me. Burying my face in her bosom, she holds my head.
"NO!"
Her drunken carefree attitude has vanished as her voice now trembles. "Suicide is never the answer. No one deserves to betray themselves." Running her hands through my hair, I can hear her breath stiffle as her eyes begin to water.
In this moment, she wasn't the useless carefree teacher that has been goofing off; It's as though... she actually sees me. But even so, the words seemed repressed, as though that speech was made for someone else.
Somnia quickly wipes her eyes before whipping her head away. "Well, after that dismal motivational speech, I'm as dry as a desert. But you only have yourself to blame for the blue balls." She sighs as she lies down beside me. "So, goodnight Coffy."
After a few moments, she's already asleep.
Propping her up on her side, I lie back down with a deep exhale.
What the hell is wrong with me?
I enjoy taking people's purpose?
I really do sound like a psycho.
But then why?
Why did killing that Strain feel so good?
In that moment of murder, I was no longer the enemy.