"What the hell are those things?!" Naruto pointed at the summons with a shaking finger. "And where did they come from?! Eishin, your summons are weird, dattebayo!"
The three raccoons the size of a bear suddenly straightened up, adopting the swagger of street thugs who'd just spotted fresh prey. Rakū rolled his shoulders and cracked his neck with theatrical menace.
"Oi, oi, what you looking at, spiky boy?" Rakū sneered at Naruto, pointing his pipe like a weapon. "You got a problem? Think you're better than us street folk?"
Takū puffed out his already impressive chest, kanabo
"What the hell are those things?!" Naruto pointed at the summons with a shaking finger. "And where did they come from?! Eishin, your summons are weird, dattebayo!"
The three raccoons the size of a bear suddenly straightened up, adopting the swagger of street thugs who'd just spotted fresh prey. Rakū rolled his shoulders and cracked his neck with theatrical menace.
"Oi, oi, what you looking at, spiky boy?" Rakū sneered at Naruto, pointing his pipe like a weapon. "You got a problem? Think you're better than us street folk?"
Takū puffed out his already impressive chest, kanabo swinging lazily. "Gahaha! This blonde kid's got some nerve, staring like we owe him money or something!"
Pakū's grip tightened on his naginata, eyes darting between Naruto and the surrounding trees. "I don't like his face. Too... orange. Reminds me of that cat gang leader who tried to muscle in on our territory last month."
Naruto's jaw dropped, pointing an accusatory finger at the three of them. "Hey! What's with the attitude?! You're supposed to be helping us, not picking fights!"
"Help?" Rakū threw back his head and cackled. "Kid, we don't help nobody for free. This ain't a charity operation."
"Yeah!" Takū chimed in, though he looked confused about what exactly they were arguing about. "We got... uh... what were we talking about again?"
"Street cred," Pakū hissed. "Can't let some blonde brat think he can just summon us and expect instant service. That's not how this works."
"Ehh? What are you talking about? I'm not the one who summoned you!" Naruto protested, his voice cracking with indignation. "It was Eishin, and you're being total jerks about it!"
"Eishin?" Rakū squinted through the smoke from his pipe. "Never heard of that. Sounds made up."
Withholding a sigh, I ignored their ridiculous posturing and focused instead on the Wolf-mask. He had materialized among the hunter-nin circle.
My fingers worked at the paper tag on my forearm—the exploded firehand jutsu had fried the seal, leaving nothing but charred paper.
"Look," I called out, still wearing that easy smile that had gotten me laid and nearly killed in equal measure. I made to replace the jutsu shiki paper. "I'm willing to hand over your missing nin if you gentlemen would be so kind as to step aside and let my team pass. Professional courtesy between fellow shinobi and all that."
I was rather a sore loser. The words tasted like ash in my mouth, but desperate times called for bastard measures.
Zabuza merely snorted, leaning heavily on his massive sword like it was the world's most dangerous crutch. Blood still trickled from the corner of his mouth, but that feral grin never wavered.
"Too late for negotiations," Wolf-mask replied, his voice carrying the flat finality of a death sentence. "You've interfered with official Kirigakure business. That makes you all targets."
"Pity," I said, reaching into my backpack with movements that looked casual but felt anything but. My fingers found what I was looking for—two scrolls, one medium-sized, the other small and familiar. The same size as the one I'd given Naruto earlier. Food storage seal.
The moment the smaller scroll appeared in my hand, all three raccoons went dead silent. Their attention locked onto it with the intensity of addicts spotting their next fix.
"Watcha doing with that delicious-smelling little treasure there, stranger?" Rakū's voice had dropped to a reverent whisper.
I tossed the scroll to him without ceremony. All three raccoons immediately huddled around it like drug dealers examining the purity of their product, sniffing and prodding with the kind of professional assessment that would have been impressive if it wasn't so ridiculous.
They whispered among themselves in rapid, conspiratorial tones, passing the scroll between them with reverent care. Then, as if someone had flipped a switch, their entire demeanor transformed.
"Aniki!" Rakū straightened up and bowed with exaggerated respect. "What brings you to this delightful battlefield today?"
"Yeah, Aniki!" Takū chimed in, his earlier aggression replaced by puppy-like enthusiasm. "You shoulda told us it was you from the start! We've been waiting for your call!"
Pakū tucked the scroll away with possessive care, his paranoid twitching replaced by eager attention. "Orders, Aniki? Please tell me we get to stab something. I've been itchy all day."
Naruto's face went through several interesting color changes as he processed this complete personality flip. "What the hell?! They were just threatening me a second ago! Now they're calling him big brother?! Useless trash panda!"
I'd dealt with these three long enough to know that logic was a foreign concept to them. Instead, I unfurled the larger scroll, revealing intricate jutsu formulae that had taken me years to perfect—or at least make functional enough not to kill me on the first try.
The scroll hit the forest floor with a soft thump, and I formed the Ram handsign, holding it steady as I placed my foot on the central formation.
"Get them out of the encirclement," I ordered, nodding toward Naruto and Sai. "Make sure they reach safety."
"You got it, Aniki!" Rakū saluted with his broken katana. "Nobody messes with our boss's crew!"
"Gahaha! Time to earn our keep!" Takū hefted his kanabo with renewed purpose. "For honor! For food! For... uh... what were we doing again?"
"Protecting the blonde loudmouth and the pale quiet one playing turtle," Pakū reminded him, naginata spinning in lazy circles. "Try to keep up, cousin."
"Wait!" Naruto stepped forward, and I caught the worry in his blue eyes despite the lingering effects of the poison. "What about you, Eishin? You can't fight all of them alone!"
This is not the time for your protagonist bullshit.
"Don't worry about me," I said, injecting as much confidence into my voice as I could manage. "I've fought stronger opponents and bigger numbers before."
The lie came easily. True, I'd faced stronger individual opponents. True, I'd handled larger groups of enemies. But never both at the same time, and certainly never this many elite-level shinobi.
Naruto didn't need to know that. He needed to get out of here alive.
"But—" His stubborn streak was showing, that familiar determination that made him simultaneously inspiring and infuriating. "We should fight them together! That's what teammates do, right? We watch each other's backs!"
In a contest of words, Naruto's Talk no Jutsu was legendary for a reason. The bastard could convince a fish to climb a tree if he put his mind to it.
So instead of arguing, I decided to show him.
My foot pressed down on the scroll's center, Ram hand sign still held steady, and I activated the jutsu I'd been tweaking and cursing at for the past years.
"Frozen Domain Jutsu!"
Chakra flooded through my leg into the scroll like a dam bursting, and ice erupted from the ground at a speed that would have been beautiful if it wasn't so terrifying. The technique spread outward in a rapidly expanding circle, frost and crystalline formations racing across the forest floor.
I tried to stop the domain's expansion right where the hunter-nin had formed their circle, but the jutsu was still in development. It was not easy to control.
Long, thick peak walls of jagged ice jutted out into the air, curling and twisting to form an incomplete dome around.
Some of the hunter-nin were too slow to react. I counted three bodies impaled on the ice spears, probably more, their blood already freezing in the suddenly frigid air. The lucky ones had slipped out of the domain's reach in time. The others—thirteen by my count—were trapped inside the dome of ice, their animal masks reflecting the cold blue light of my ice prison.
My ragged breath came out in visible puffs as the temperature plummeted. Silence fell. The only sounds inside the dome were the creaking and settling of ice, and the soft drip of melting frost.
"See?" I called out to the stunned crowd, trying to project arrogant confidence while my chakra system screamed in protest. "Told you…. I didn't need help dealing with these masked wannabes."
The truth was, I felt none of that confidence. The Ice Domain technique — or rather, a Frankenstein of sorts, a jury-rigged amalgamation of smaller ice jutsu I'd cobbled together like a chakra-powered death trap—was fighting me every step of the way.
The structure itself would remain even if I lost connection, but that was the problem—once I broke the link, there was no regaining it. I had to stay immobile and focused, threading chakra through the domain to control its techniques.
And I had to fight thirteen elite, vicious shinobi, with the desire to turn me into sashimi, while standing perfectly still.
For a brief moment, Tsunami's words surfaced in my memory—how she believed herself cursed. How every man in her life ended up dead. Maybe…. she was right, maybe I was just another—
I cut that thought off before it could finish and forced myself to create a small breach in the ice wall, just wide enough for my team to escape through.
"Go," I ordered, trying to keep the strain out of my voice. The jutsu was like holding a wild animal by the throat—the moment I relaxed my grip, it would turn around and bite me. "Now, while I've got them contained."
"But Eishin—" Naruto stammered, his earlier confidence cracking. "You can't just—I mean, there are so many of them, and—"
Hmm, Naruto not having words? That was new.
Sai caught my glance and moved closer to him, placing a steady hand on Naruto's shoulder. "Eishin-san is a jounin," he said quietly, his voice carrying a calm authority that made people listen. "He's survived worse odds than this. Trust in his abilities."
I thought about pointing out that the hunter-nin were also jounin-level and they outnumbered me, but that seemed counterproductive to the whole 'inspiring confidence' thing I had going.
The trapped hunter-nin had recovered from their initial shock and were moving with coordinated precision. I didn't make it easy for them, lashing out with everything the domain had to offer—ice dragons that erupted from the walls, spears that shot from the floor, a blizzard of frozen shards that turned the air into a meat grinder.
Each technique strained my focus a little more, like trying to solve complex math problems while someone kept hitting me in the head with a hammer.
Naruto gritted his teeth, conflict written across his face in bold letters. Finally, he nodded with obvious reluctance. "Fine! But don't you dare die, bastard! I still have to get you back!"
That nearly made my concentration falter. Of all the things to be worried about at a time like this...
The three raccoons had already formed up around Naruto and Sai, who still carried Haku's unconscious form. They looked almost professional when they weren't arguing about conspiracy theories or street philosophy.
"Move out!" Rakū barked, suddenly all business as he led the group toward the breach in the ice wall. "Aniki's got this handled, but we ain't sticking around to watch!"
"Gahaha! Time to go, go, go!" Takū bounded after them, his kanabo held ready to clear any obstacles in their path.
Pakū brought up the rear, naginata spinning as his paranoid eyes scanned for threats. "This feels like a trap, but at least it's our trap now!"
They moved as a unit toward the opening I'd created, Naruto casting one last worried glance back.
"Zabuza," I called out to the missing-nin, who had remained ominously silent during this entire exchange. "You planning to stick around, or what?"
Zabuza's bloodstained grin widened. "Running away ain't exactly my style, kid."
"Could've fooled me," I shot back.
He snorted, spitting blood onto the ice. "Hah. That was strategic repositioning, brat. Completely different thing."
I didn't have time for a verbal sparring match, however, not with thirteen elite shinobi closing in and my chakra reserves burning like a house fire. "Look, I don't have the luxury of watching my back right now."
He would be more liability than help.
Zabuza scoffed, blood still running down his chin as he hefted his massive sword onto his shoulder. "Fine, fine. Don't get yourself killed over some misplaced pride, kid. It would be a waste of decent potential."
With that backhanded compliment, he turned and followed the others.
Really…. it was something else seeing the aftermath of Naruto's Child of Prophecy's superpowers. The vicious Demon of the Mist talking sentimentality.
The hunter-nin immediately split into two groups—one moving to engage me directly, the other racing to intercept my escaping team. I couldn't let that happen, not when I'd gone through all this trouble to get them clear.
More ice techniques erupted from the domain's structure—walls to block their path, spears to force them back, a maze of frozen obstacles that turned their coordinated advance into a chaotic scramble. The techniques were slower than I'd like, requiring careful setup and timing, but they served their purpose as both weapons and bait.
Each manifestation was like playing chess while running a marathon—one wrong move, one moment of lost focus, and I'd lose my connection to the domain entirely.
But that was a problem for future me to worry about—assuming there was going to be a future me, which was looking increasingly optimistic given the circumstances.
With the help of the summons, they cut all those who slipped through my barrage of jutsu, and made it through the breach. I closed it soon after.
They'd get him out. They'd get him home alive.
The tension that had been coiled in my chest since this whole mess started finally began to ease. Funny how facing thirteen, now twelve — one git shredded by an ice spear and a broken katana — elite hunter-nin felt like a minor inconvenience compared to the thought of explaining to shouldering the death of the world's savior.
With my hand locked into a Ram handseal, the two Firehands flared and formed the shadow clone jutsu.
"Well then, gentlemen," I called out, "shall we dance? Fair warning, though—I've been told I'm a terrible lead."
I found myself grinning.
I'd fucked Kushina Uzumaki.
How many men could say that and still breathe?
I should focus on the fight, but my thoughts oddly were on her and her red hair.
Was that the summit of my life? The peak? I wondered.
— — — — — — — —
You can read up to 8 chapters ahead at patreon.com/vizem (PS. Best girl Ino made her first appearance there)
swinging lazily. "Gahaha! This blonde kid's got some nerve, staring like we owe him money or something!"
Pakū's grip tightened on his naginata, eyes darting between Naruto and the surrounding trees. "I don't like his face. Too... orange. Reminds me of that cat gang leader who tried to muscle in on our territory last month."
Naruto's jaw dropped, pointing an accusatory finger at the three of them. "Hey! What's with the attitude?! You're supposed to be helping us, not picking fights!"
"Help?" Rakū threw back his head and cackled. "Kid, we don't help nobody for free. This ain't a charity operation."
"Yeah!" Takū chimed in, though he looked confused about what exactly they were arguing about. "We got... uh... what were we talking about again?"
"Street cred," Pakū hissed. "Can't let some blonde brat think he can just summon us and expect instant service. That's not how this works."
"Ehh? What are you talking about? I'm not the one who summoned you!" Naruto protested, his voice cracking with indignation. "It was Eishin, and you're being total jerks about it!"
"Eishin?" Rakū squinted through the smoke from his pipe. "Never heard of that. Sounds made up."
Withholding a sigh, I ignored their ridiculous posturing and focused instead on the Wolf-mask. He had materialized among the hunter-nin circle.
My fingers worked at the paper tag on my forearm—the exploded firehand jutsu had fried the seal, leaving nothing but charred paper.
"Look," I called out, still wearing that easy smile that had gotten me laid and nearly killed in equal measure. I made to replace the jutsu shiki paper. "I'm willing to hand over your missing nin if you gentlemen would be so kind as to step aside and let my team pass. Professional courtesy between fellow shinobi and all that."
I was rather a sore loser. The words tasted like ash in my mouth, but desperate times called for bastard measures.
Zabuza merely snorted, leaning heavily on his massive sword like it was the world's most dangerous crutch. Blood still trickled from the corner of his mouth, but that feral grin never wavered.
"Too late for negotiations," Wolf-mask replied, his voice carrying the flat finality of a death sentence. "You've interfered with official Kirigakure business. That makes you all targets."
"Pity," I said, reaching into my backpack with movements that looked casual but felt anything but. My fingers found what I was looking for—two scrolls, one medium-sized, the other small and familiar. The same size as the one I'd given Naruto earlier. Food storage seal.
The moment the smaller scroll appeared in my hand, all three raccoons went dead silent. Their attention locked onto it with the intensity of addicts spotting their next fix.
"Watcha doing with that delicious-smelling little treasure there, stranger?" Rakū's voice had dropped to a reverent whisper.
I tossed the scroll to him without ceremony. All three raccoons immediately huddled around it like drug dealers examining the purity of their product, sniffing and prodding with the kind of professional assessment that would have been impressive if it wasn't so ridiculous.
They whispered among themselves in rapid, conspiratorial tones, passing the scroll between them with reverent care. Then, as if someone had flipped a switch, their entire demeanor transformed.
"Aniki!" Rakū straightened up and bowed with exaggerated respect. "What brings you to this delightful battlefield today?"
"Yeah, Aniki!" Takū chimed in, his earlier aggression replaced by puppy-like enthusiasm. "You shoulda told us it was you from the start! We've been waiting for your call!"
Pakū tucked the scroll away with possessive care, his paranoid twitching replaced by eager attention. "Orders, Aniki? Please tell me we get to stab something. I've been itchy all day."
Naruto's face went through several interesting color changes as he processed this complete personality flip. "What the hell?! They were just threatening me a second ago! Now they're calling him big brother?! Useless trash panda!"
I'd dealt with these three long enough to know that logic was a foreign concept to them. Instead, I unfurled the larger scroll, revealing intricate jutsu formulae that had taken me years to perfect—or at least make functional enough not to kill me on the first try.
The scroll hit the forest floor with a soft thump, and I formed the Ram handsign, holding it steady as I placed my foot on the central formation.
"Get them out of the encirclement," I ordered, nodding toward Naruto and Sai. "Make sure they reach safety."
"You got it, Aniki!" Rakū saluted with his broken katana. "Nobody messes with our boss's crew!"
"Gahaha! Time to earn our keep!" Takū hefted his kanabo with renewed purpose. "For honor! For food! For... uh... what were we doing again?"
"Protecting the blonde loudmouth and the pale quiet one playing turtle," Pakū reminded him, naginata spinning in lazy circles. "Try to keep up, cousin."
"Wait!" Naruto stepped forward, and I caught the worry in his blue eyes despite the lingering effects of the poison. "What about you, Eishin? You can't fight all of them alone!"
This is not the time for your protagonist bullshit.
"Don't worry about me," I said, injecting as much confidence into my voice as I could manage. "I've fought stronger opponents and bigger numbers before."
The lie came easily. True, I'd faced stronger individual opponents. True, I'd handled larger groups of enemies. But never both at the same time, and certainly never this many elite-level shinobi.
Naruto didn't need to know that. He needed to get out of here alive.
"But—" His stubborn streak was showing, that familiar determination that made him simultaneously inspiring and infuriating. "We should fight them together! That's what teammates do, right? We watch each other's backs!"
In a contest of words, Naruto's Talk no Jutsu was legendary for a reason. The bastard could convince a fish to climb a tree if he put his mind to it.
So instead of arguing, I decided to show him.
My foot pressed down on the scroll's center, Ram hand sign still held steady, and I activated the jutsu I'd been tweaking and cursing at for the past years.
"Frozen Domain Jutsu!"
Chakra flooded through my leg into the scroll like a dam bursting, and ice erupted from the ground at a speed that would have been beautiful if it wasn't so terrifying. The technique spread outward in a rapidly expanding circle, frost and crystalline formations racing across the forest floor.
I tried to stop the domain's expansion right where the hunter-nin had formed their circle, but the jutsu was still in development. It was not easy to control.
Long, thick peak walls of jagged ice jutted out into the air, curling and twisting to form an incomplete dome around.
Some of the hunter-nin were too slow to react. I counted three bodies impaled on the ice spears, probably more, their blood already freezing in the suddenly frigid air. The lucky ones had slipped out of the domain's reach in time. The others—thirteen by my count—were trapped inside the dome of ice, their animal masks reflecting the cold blue light of my ice prison.
My ragged breath came out in visible puffs as the temperature plummeted. Silence fell. The only sounds inside the dome were the creaking and settling of ice, and the soft drip of melting frost.
"See?" I called out to the stunned crowd, trying to project arrogant confidence while my chakra system screamed in protest. "Told you…. I didn't need help dealing with these masked wannabes."
The truth was, I felt none of that confidence. The Ice Domain technique — or rather, a Frankenstein of sorts, a jury-rigged amalgamation of smaller ice jutsu I'd cobbled together like a chakra-powered death trap—was fighting me every step of the way.
The structure itself would remain even if I lost connection, but that was the problem—once I broke the link, there was no regaining it. I had to stay immobile and focused, threading chakra through the domain to control its techniques.
And I had to fight thirteen elite, vicious shinobi, with the desire to turn me into sashimi, while standing perfectly still.
For a brief moment, Tsunami's words surfaced in my memory—how she believed herself cursed. How every man in her life ended up dead. Maybe…. she was right, maybe I was just another—
I cut that thought off before it could finish and forced myself to create a small breach in the ice wall, just wide enough for my team to escape through.
"Go," I ordered, trying to keep the strain out of my voice. The jutsu was like holding a wild animal by the throat—the moment I relaxed my grip, it would turn around and bite me. "Now, while I've got them contained."
"But Eishin—" Naruto stammered, his earlier confidence cracking. "You can't just—I mean, there are so many of them, and—"
Hmm, Naruto not having words? That was new.
Sai caught my glance and moved closer to him, placing a steady hand on Naruto's shoulder. "Eishin-san is a jounin," he said quietly, his voice carrying a calm authority that made people listen. "He's survived worse odds than this. Trust in his abilities."
I thought about pointing out that the hunter-nin were also jounin-level and they outnumbered me, but that seemed counterproductive to the whole 'inspiring confidence' thing I had going.
The trapped hunter-nin had recovered from their initial shock and were moving with coordinated precision. I didn't make it easy for them, lashing out with everything the domain had to offer—ice dragons that erupted from the walls, spears that shot from the floor, a blizzard of frozen shards that turned the air into a meat grinder.
Each technique strained my focus a little more, like trying to solve complex math problems while someone kept hitting me in the head with a hammer.
Naruto gritted his teeth, conflict written across his face in bold letters. Finally, he nodded with obvious reluctance. "Fine! But don't you dare die, bastard! I still have to get you back!"
That nearly made my concentration falter. Of all the things to be worried about at a time like this...
The three raccoons had already formed up around Naruto and Sai, who still carried Haku's unconscious form. They looked almost professional when they weren't arguing about conspiracy theories or street philosophy.
"Move out!" Rakū barked, suddenly all business as he led the group toward the breach in the ice wall. "Aniki's got this handled, but we ain't sticking around to watch!"
"Gahaha! Time to go, go, go!" Takū bounded after them, his kanabo held ready to clear any obstacles in their path.
Pakū brought up the rear, naginata spinning as his paranoid eyes scanned for threats. "This feels like a trap, but at least it's our trap now!"
They moved as a unit toward the opening I'd created, Naruto casting one last worried glance back.
"Zabuza," I called out to the missing-nin, who had remained ominously silent during this entire exchange. "You planning to stick around, or what?"
Zabuza's bloodstained grin widened. "Running away ain't exactly my style, kid."
"Could've fooled me," I shot back.
He snorted, spitting blood onto the ice. "Hah. That was strategic repositioning, brat. Completely different thing."
I didn't have time for a verbal sparring match, however, not with thirteen elite shinobi closing in and my chakra reserves burning like a house fire. "Look, I don't have the luxury of watching my back right now."
He would be more liability than help.
Zabuza scoffed, blood still running down his chin as he hefted his massive sword onto his shoulder. "Fine, fine. Don't get yourself killed over some misplaced pride, kid. It would be a waste of decent potential."
With that backhanded compliment, he turned and followed the others.
Really…. it was something else seeing the aftermath of Naruto's Child of Prophecy's superpowers. The vicious Demon of the Mist talking sentimentality.
The hunter-nin immediately split into two groups—one moving to engage me directly, the other racing to intercept my escaping team. I couldn't let that happen, not when I'd gone through all this trouble to get them clear.
More ice techniques erupted from the domain's structure—walls to block their path, spears to force them back, a maze of frozen obstacles that turned their coordinated advance into a chaotic scramble. The techniques were slower than I'd like, requiring careful setup and timing, but they served their purpose as both weapons and bait.
Each manifestation was like playing chess while running a marathon—one wrong move, one moment of lost focus, and I'd lose my connection to the domain entirely.
But that was a problem for future me to worry about—assuming there was going to be a future me, which was looking increasingly optimistic given the circumstances.
With the help of the summons, they cut all those who slipped through my barrage of jutsu, and made it through the breach. I closed it soon after.
They'd get him out. They'd get him home alive.
The tension that had been coiled in my chest since this whole mess started finally began to ease. Funny how facing thirteen, now twelve — one git shredded by an ice spear and a broken katana — elite hunter-nin felt like a minor inconvenience compared to the thought of explaining to shouldering the death of the world's savior.
With my hand locked into a Ram handseal, the two Firehands flared and formed the shadow clone jutsu.
"Well then, gentlemen," I called out, "shall we dance? Fair warning, though—I've been told I'm a terrible lead."
I found myself grinning.
I'd fucked Kushina Uzumaki.
How many men could say that and still breathe?
I should focus on the fight, but my thoughts oddly were on her and her red hair.
Was that the summit of my life? The peak? I wondered.
— — — — — — — —
You can read up to 8 chapters ahead at patreon.com/vizem (PS. Best girl Ino made her first appearance there)