"The legal proceedings depicted in this chapter are purely fictional and do not reflect any real-life judicial systems or practices."
Five weeks passed. Five weeks, and I barely remember any of it. Its vague if I thought about it. I stood next to Felicity's family during her funeral. A lot of people attended, her cause of death could not even be described and only her closest confidants knew exactly what happened. How do you come in front of a hundred people and tell them that the deceased was killed and her body paled through a tree and found half way rotting? You couldn't. That memory still haunts me, even in broad daylight. I'd never forgive myself for the last things I said to her.
Stuff I said for someone who never really waned me.
More happened. I got a suspension from school, nearly an expulsion if my parents hadn't made it their mission to keep me there. I don't even remember what happened? I nearly put someone in hospital, something about a comment the guy had made about the way Felicity's body was found. I was beyond sad and maddened. Mom called me mad, dad called me a sick child. I knew.
Tim called and called, but I let the phone ring as I watched his caller ID flash over my screen. My eyes always drifted to the window opposite mine, where that person would look over me. It still hadn't hit he was my stalker. I was stupid, no amount of comfort or reassurance could convince me otherwise. I let him play me, I let him toy with my emotions. I ran to him when I had a problem and I'm sure it was laughable how I was the problem and I would never realize it.
I spent my suspension days curled up in my room, ripping all the drawings he had made of me. Every single one. I had kept every single one of them as "evidence", laughable. My parents didn't care about what I did from then on. I became a ghost to them, a disgrace. I would pass them like they didn't even exist. Maybe that's why it was so easy to find peace in the monsters I let in. I had become a cage to shield them off from all the negativity the world had to give them. I didn't even know if Quincy's truth or Tim's pretense gets me.
Bart explained to me three days ago, told me I had to testify as a victim. I remember my hands shook and my foot started to thumb the ground. I wasn't that ready to face him again after those dreadful fifteen minutes. I thought about it, the thought of those thirty women who were burned and killed also became part of my nightmares. What if I had ended up like them? Having to beg a man to release me from shackles I never even deserved, treated like some kind of animal and commodity? No.
I called him back, and told him I'd do it.
"I'll let Elena, your prosecutor know. Venice, I want to ask something, regarding the last time I saw you," I could hear the hesitation in his voice.
"It's okay, Bart, what's up?" I said, I'm pretty sure I sounded terrible. I think my throat gave out, I don't think I've cried so much in my lifetime. Eighteen years of tears was enough to fill my fucking tub.
"I was talking it over with your prosecutor and asked her about the condition someone has to be in to attend a court hearing. You, let me be real with you, you don't look okay enough to go through with this. I asked if you'd be willing to testify hoping you'd say no." It made sense and absolutely no sense what he was saying. He thought I was going crazy, I didn't think I was. I was just going through something, and besides. I just needed to say what he did and didn't do.
"I'm sane enough to say what he did and did not do to me and Felicity. It's not like I'm reading from a script." He sighed from the line and my fingernails dug through my skin again. It was an itch that I couldn't feel but the pain relieved it. My skin turned red and top skin cut through and still my nails went over it.
"Then, see you tomorrow Venice. Sleep well."
I'm standing here after that phone call, feeling nothing but dread. I tried as much as possible to make use of the concealer I had, still dark circles took over my lower lids. That itch started again on my shoulder. It ached but I ignored it and stepped into the wooden ox of a room. I sat down at my seat opposite the judges bench. I put my head on the table, and I wanted to close my eyes. I had no one to talk to, nothing to say either, I'll testify and get out.
"I didn't do this too did I?" Tim's voice said over my shoulder, but I wasn't lifting my head for his sake. I was tired of him, of everything and of myself.
"I need to prepare for the hearing." I said in a quiet whisper and he replied in a whisper too.
"Then listen, I don't need to hear you speak. I wasn't trying to play you, not then, not now. I know you and I have so much history together. However can I take a guess at something? His love was what you wanted. To be honest, when our contract ended you looked like you moved on so fast. I knew where you had moved to, but I kept a promise, I would let you move on and so would I. I know I wasn't the best partner, but I want to tell you, I wish I could have warned you about-"
"About what Tim? This man, you had supposedly known about for months. The killings, his family, everything?! There is nothing you can say that will make me feel any less resentment towards you. Leave, its almost time." There was a silence after I said that, and he spoke again after I lifted my head.
"What did he do to you that you won't even look me in the eye?"
"I said leave! Tim, I am so tired, please leave."
The room suddenly filed with people of the Jury and a tall black elegant woman walked in and sat beside me just as the room settled in an almost silent calm. I smiled as best as I could, and she returned it and offered me a hug, which I fell into.
"Today, we are gathered here to oversee the case between French citizen Quincy Roux, and the crimes and evidence brought against him. I want to confirm that every participant coming through to the panel, should speak only on real events that have occurred leading up the provided evidence. I would like to urge our legal representatives to speak in fact of their own client to avoid conflict and rid of any kind of assumption. All rise." We all stood and when Q walked in In cuffs and in black overalls, I started having second thoughts about this.