"The fact he has a house-elf to do everything for him?" the Overseer asked.
"The fact that by obtaining a house-elf of his own he's choosing to embrace a traditional side of wizarding life," the old litigator painted the mental picture for Barchoke.
"It plays in well with his decision to put people back on the land instead of selling it," the goblin agreed.
"H-how is this good for Harry?" Hermione asked, as if trying to find some grounds on which to accept all this.
"The Wizengamot has always been a bastion of 'traditional values,'" Lichfield explained. "One of the political wings - the only political wing nowadays, really - is even called the Traditionalists. They don't like to rock the boat unless it's to row us all backwards," he said with a wave.
He went on when he saw Hermione's puzzled look. "They seem to think the best laws are the oldest laws and the best solutions are the oldest solutions."
"That's great if you happen to be a stodgy old human wizard," Barchoke said with a disgruntled look on his face, "but not so great if you're anything else. The past they glorify wasn't so wonderful for a lot of us."
"It's your bad luck to have been born during two generations of Traditionalist dominance, but before that it wasn't so bad," Lichfield explained. "We had a lot of things roughly level for the most part, provided you're human," he stipulated. "But we were working on that," he finished with a glance at Barchoke.
"You were on the liberal side?" Hermione questioned.
"What do you mean 'were'?" Lichfield said with a look. "You're talking to probably the only person in the country whose best friend is a goblin."
"I think she only meant you don't look like a politician," Harry cut in quickly to defend his - er - friend.
The old man didn't say anything to that, though he did look at him with a slight upturn to his lips. Harry knew Lichfield knew what he was trying to do, but at least the old man wasn't calling Hermione his cuddle-bunny any more, for the moment anyway.
"That was your grandfather's area," Lichfield said with a wave as he sat back in his chair. "I never went for political clout like he did, but even he got this weird strain of Traditionalism I never quite understood."
"Exactly how Traditionalist?" Harry asked, concerned the growing picture he had of his family was about to be painted over in a Malfoy family portrait.
"There're no magically binding marriage contracts for you if that's what you're worried about," Lichfield said dryly. "They actually would've approved of-," he started, his eyes flickering to Hermione.
Harry shot him a look at said he's been poked quite enough on that already.
"-mug-non-magical people-borns taking over just about everything," Lichfield quickly shifted away as best he could. "No, that phrase doesn't sound right at all," he said critically. "If they're non-magical people, what do we call you?" Lichfield asked Hermione.
"A witch?" Hermione suggested with a deadpan voice that was probably as close as she could get to sarcasm even at the best of times.
"Good point," he said apologetically. "Looks like I'm still clinging to those old terms too. I hope I'm not going Traditionalist," Lichfield said like he'd rather eat his own sock.
"Are we going to spend another hour down here before you get to the point?" Barchoke asked with a look at his watch.
"It helps Harry," Lichfield said, trying to get back on track, "by giving the Traditionalists something to point to as evidence he hasn't been 'corrupted' by his non-magical relatives and is fit to run his own life."
"The Dursleys you can call muggles," Harry interjected. "They don't deserve any respect."
The old bailiff nodded to Harry.
"They'd really decide the case against him just because he was raised by muggles?" Hermione asked; her storehouse of ire seemingly endless.
"Some might," Lichfield nodded. "Others would agree to ditch Dumbledore but would want him placed in a 'proper wizarding home' - like the Malfoys - until he fully came of age at seventeen."
"I'd be worse off there than I was at the Dursleys," Harry said revolted.
"And you'd probably find your inheritance deposited into their vault to repay their kindness, if you didn't just 'disappear' first," Lichfield said dryly.
Hermione's look at that prospect mirrored his own.
"Showing he willingly and naturally embraces some aspects of wizarding culture," Lichfield continued, "gives them the ideological wiggle room they need to invalidate Dumbledore's claim of guardianship and maybe even let Harry go off on his own without getting too antsy, since he seems to be doing what they'd want him to do anyway."
"This segues nicely into the issue of inheritance," Barchoke said, pulling forward a bunch of files.
"I'd prefer to stick to damages at the moment," Lichfield said with a look. "There's plenty of time to deal with inheritance after the case is over. I don't want the kid to get a big head in case he's called into court."
"Taking a look at the damages alone will probably be enough to make his head explode," Barchoke said defensively.
"Then perhaps we should address the case itself before we get to damages," Hermione said in a business-like manner. "Damages won't matter much if we lose and there are several areas I have questions about."
Harry smiled as Barchoke's eyes got as big as Dobby's did.
"If it'll keep him from yammering on until midnight, then please, go right ahead," the Overseer said with a glance to Lichfield as if to ask if she was for real.
That look didn't change too much for the next several minutes as his girl - a term that gave him a pleasantly warm feeling - systematically outlined everything she thought concerning what he'd told her so far. Harry didn't even know a 'magical guardian' was even a thing, let alone what kind of power they had in a muggleborn's life, but he could see why she was concerned. By the end of it Barchoke's head was cocked over to one side and he looked in severe danger of getting it stuck that way. It was nice to see the Hermione he knew back in action again.
"Just how old are you?" Lichfield asked with a disbelieving look on his face.
"Thirteen in September," she replied, still in her no-nonsense voice.
"Can I interest you in an exciting career in the Gringotts legal department?" Barchoke asked, his head still cocked over to one side.
"Looking to replace me already?" Lichfield asked his friend, which finally got his head back the way it should be.
"With someone who won't yammer on or make fun of me? Yes, always," the goblin answered.
Hermione didn't look enthused about their response to her concerns.
"The magical guardian thing shouldn't be an issue," Lichfield said to Hermione with a placating gesture, probably sensing an outburst in the offing. "Those are only used for-," Lichfield paused for a moment, "'magicals with non-magical parents'? Yeah, that works - It didn't make sense when Dumbledore said it in the memories we have of his visit to the Burrow. Good job on that, by the way," he said to Harry. "You really handed him his hat. I just thought he was trying to confuse the issue, I never thought it'd be his legal strategy."
The old bailiff nodded when he was done, as if agreeing with himself on something.
"I should check it out nonetheless," he continued. "He'll have to convince the Wizengamot up is sideways and left is blue if he tries to use it in court, but it doesn't mean he won't confuse them enough they'll just agree with him because he must know what he's talking about. I've been holding off on interviewing the Dursleys," he said to Hermione, "because the boy doesn't want them involved. Sorry, kid," he turned to Harry, "You just got overruled."
Harry couldn't help but make a face at that. He didn't want the Dursleys anywhere near anything to do with him.
"Don't feel too bad," Lichfield said to him, "I've already interviewed just about everyone you've ever come in contact with, including your Head of House, that horrid old teacher of yours, and the squib you visited in Little Whinging."
Harry could only stare disbelievingly at the old man who so casually wandered through his entire life.
"Professor McGonagall?" Hermione asked, "What does she have to do with this?"
"She was there the night Dumbledore abandoned him," Lichfield said. "Though in her defense, she thought everything was legal, if not ideal."
Harry looked at her a little chagrined; he must've forgotten to tell her that part.
"What's a squib?" Hermione asked.
"A non-magical person of magical parentage," Lichfield said quickly. "I'm getting the hang of this," he smiled.
"I don't understand," Harry said. "The only person the Dursleys even let me be around was Mrs. Figg, and they forced me to go. Wait - Mrs. Figg is a squib?"
"Who's Mrs. Figg?" Hermione asked, trying to put the puzzle pieces together.
"She's the crazy old lady who lives on Wisteria Walk," Harry explained.
"That's the one," Lichfield agreed. "Dumbledore put her there to keep an eye on you; even set up an animal breeding business for her using your funds."
"Did she breed cats?" Hermione asked curiously.
"As a matter of fact, she did," Lichfield said with an odd look. "Why do you ask?"
"One of the shopkeepers said the breeder of the cat I liked was arrested for something," she explained.
"She wasn't arrested, but yeah, that was her. Huh," Lichfield grunted, "one of the baby aurors must've talked."
"Aurors?" Harry asked.
"Dark wizard catchers," Barchoke explained.
"A couple of trainees showed up when I paid her a house-call," Lichfield explained. "She didn't want to go and tried to do a runner."
"You kidnapped Mrs. Figg?" Harry cried disbelievingly.
"That's awful!" Hermione cried.
"That's brilliant!" Harry countered. "Sorry, Hermione," he said when she looked at him much like the ginger cat did, "but she really was horrible. Listening to her go on about her cats for hours was torture."
"That might be the case," Lichfield said, "but without her you'd be in much worse shape than you are now."
"What do you mean?" he asked confused.
"She grew concerned after she told Dumbledore how bad things were at the Dursleys and he didn't do anything," the old bailiff explained. "That's why she volunteered to take you whenever they wanted a day without you. She had to make sure you didn't like going there-," he said quickly, "but at least it gave her the chance to slip you health potions disguised as rancid tasting tea."
Suddenly Harry didn't know whether she deserved to be kidnapped anymore.
"So you mean I'm naturally supposed to be this scrawny?" he asked, getting a round of machine gun chuckles from Barchoke.
"When it comes to recouping your losses," the Overseer said when his laughter died down. "We have a couple of options regarding Mrs. Figg."
"What do you mean?"
"Because Dumbledore set it up as a business, with you as the backer," Barchoke explained. "You can exercise your rights and seize the entire operation and then sell off what's there."
"And because she's a cat breeder-," Harry said, taking the logical step.
"It means you'd own a bunch of cats," the goblin finished for him.
Hermione couldn't help but laugh; Harry looked at her and couldn't help but grin.
"So how many cats would Mr. 'I don't like pets' have?" she asked with a big grin.
"About a hundred," the goblin replied, causing her to chuckle again.
Harry had to admit, it was rather ridiculous.
"Lester and I would recommend you not take this option," he continued.
"It recognizes the investment as a legitimate one and could be used as an argument to underscore his right to manage your financial affairs," Lichfield explained.
"So what would you suggest?" Harry asked the Overseer.
"That we make some cat food," the goblin said with a grin showing his pointed teeth.
"What?"
.....
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