The bar stank of spilled beer and sweat. Buggy the Clown slammed his mug down, frothing with anger.
"You bunch of losers! You let a thief get away?!" he barked, eyes wild beneath his blue face paint.
"Boss… she had backup," one of his goons stammered, voice cracking. "Three guys. One of 'em… he was strong."
Buggy's glare intensified. "Strong? What kind of strong?!"
"They're outside. Said they wanna see you."
Buggy's eyes narrowed. His lips curled into a sneer. "Bring them in."
We walked into the bar—me, Luffy, and Zoro. The place reeked, and every set of eyes turned on us like they'd just spotted a stack of treasure maps.
Buggy's gaze fixed on Luffy.
"The guy with the straw hat," one of Buggy's men whispered in his ear. "He's with the thief."
Buggy squinted, leaning forward. "That hat... it pisses me off. Who gave it to you?"
Luffy didn't even blink. "A pirate named Shanks."
Buggy's face contorted, voice dropping like a cold anchor. "Shanks…"
Then, suddenly—explosively—he screamed, "WHO CALLED ME RED NOSE?!"
…What?
No one had said anything. Not a single word about his nose. Zoro and I exchanged confused glances.
[Is he just permanently triggered or what?]
Before I could finish the thought, Luffy tilted his head. "Lock… what are we here for again?"
I blinked at him. "We're here because that woman you like stole something from these guys, and now we're getting involved."
"Oh yeah!" he grinned, suddenly fired up.
Buggy didn't care for the side chat. He threw his arms wide and bellowed, "Kill them! Grab that hat!"
Luffy's mood shifted in a blink. His face tightened.
"You tried to mess with my hat," he said, voice colder than usual. "Gomu Gomu no… Pistol!"
His rubber arm stretched back and slammed straight into Buggy's face, knocking him into the wall. Buggy's red nose stayed on, tragically.
Zoro took a step forward. "He's got some weird trick up his sleeve. That punch should've done more."
He was right. The dust cleared—and Buggy's head floated in midair.
"Let me guess," I muttered, unsheathing my blade. "He ate a Devil Fruit."
"Bara Bara no Mi," Buggy announced smugly. His head was bobbing in the air, torso elsewhere, arms and legs flying around like angry pigeons. "I'm a man in pieces… and I'm gonna piece you apart!"
A dagger shot toward me—just a hand, flying independently. I smacked it aside with my sword.
[Okay. This guy is weird… but dangerous.]
Zoro dashed in. "One Sword Style… Lion's Song!"
His blade flashed, slicing clean through Buggy's torso—only for the body to separate and reform behind him.
Buggy cackled. "You can't cut me, sword-boy! My body can split and rejoin at will!"
Luffy lunged again, "Gomu Gomu no… Whip!"
His leg caught a few of Buggy's goons, sending them crashing into tables. I stepped in beside Zoro, blade raised.
"We need to box him in. His body parts can't fly forever."
"I'll handle his legs," Zoro grunted.
"I got his hands," I added.
Buggy's grin widened. "Think you've got me figured out? I've sailed with the Pirate King! I've faced worse than the likes of you!"
[Okay, now that's believable. But you're still gonna get your clown ass kicked.]
Suddenly, his body twisted into something unholy. "Split! Cannon!"
Both his hands—still holding knives—launched like bullets at me and Zoro. We dodged. Barely.
Then came the kicker: "Split! Pancake!"
His entire lower half flew like a spinning sawblade right at me. I jumped back, blade clashing against the incoming attack.
[Did this guy name his attacks while drunk?]
As the three of us encroached on him, we slowly closed the gap—Luffy to his front, Zoro to the left, me to the right.
"You're just a sideshow now, Buggy," I said, eyes narrowed. "Shanks is out there making waves. You're stuck blowing up buildings over jokes about your nose."
Buggy froze for a second—rage seething through his painted features. "You dare compare me to him?! That bastard ruined my life!"
He pulled out a cannon from under his coat—how?!—and shrieked, "Buggy Bomb… FIRE!"
Three cannonballs screamed through the air.
Luffy puffed up. "Gomu Gomu no… Balloon!"
The cannonball hit his gut and bounced straight back, exploding behind us.
Zoro slashed another to shreds.
I ducked and rolled, narrowly avoiding the third as it blew up a nearby wall.
Buggy howled, "You brats!!! I'm gonna—!"
He never finished.
Zoro was already behind him. This time he slashed downward, severing the lower half again.
Luffy grabbed the floating head and body with his stretchy arms, slamming Buggy against a barrel.
I stepped forward and pressed my blade against the last remaining piece—his hand trying to crawl away.
Buggy's body parts all froze.
"This is over," I said.
Behind us, the door creaked open.
It was Nami.
She stared at the wrecked bar, the scattered goons, and the clown parts everywhere.
"…You guys are insane."
"Thanks," I muttered. "We tried our best."
Buggy's head groaned. "Freaks…"
"You're not wrong," I added, stepping on his hand as it twitched.