Daily Meme
What did you ask? Is the meme a teaser for my next fic? Maybe. Probably. Who knows?
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The dorm common area was packed, voices bouncing off the walls as everyone got ready. It wasn't every day U.A. students got a whole-ass press event dedicated to them, and of course, the class was treating it like some huge deal.
"Bro, we should have matching poses," Kaminari said, running his fingers through his hair like that made him look cooler.
Bakugo scoffed. "The fuck we should."
"Come on, man," Sero added, kicking back on the couch. "We look badass as a squad. Might as well play into it."
Mina threw an arm over his shoulders. "Hell yeah! Imagine the news headlines… 'U.A.'s Elite: The Coolest Class in Hero History.'"
"Or, 'Bunch of Dumbasses Struggle to Answer Basic Questions,'" Jiro muttered, tuning her earjack like she was already tired of this conversation.
I leaned against the counter, scrolling through my phone, waiting for someone to say something worth a damn. This was just some routine press bullshit, nothing new.
Toru plopped onto the couch next to me. "Are we gonna get to tell the real story?"
I glanced up. "The one where we got intel from a talking dog, played Secret Santa with convenience stores, and took down an overdramatic tea-drinking criminal?"
She giggled. "Yup."
I shrugged, tossing my phone onto the table. "It shows my genius, so I will allow it."
Kaminari and Mina fist-bumped like they had just been blessed with divine approval. Sero just grinned, kicking his feet up like he was already envisioning our group shot on the front page. The idiot energy in the room was reaching critical levels.
Bakugo, of course, had to find something to be mad about. He squinted at me, arms crossed. "Do you think I am extra?"
"No. I don't think so." I shook my head. He scoffed, turning away.
As he took a step, smug in thinking I folded, I added, "Everyone thinks."
Bakugo froze mid-step, like his brain was taking a second to process the sheer audacity of what I had just said. Then he turned, eyes narrowing like I had personally declared war on his bloodline.
"The fuck did you just say?"
I leaned back against the couch, stretching. "You heard me."
Kaminari wheezed, barely keeping it together. Mina clapped her hands, eyes sparkling with pure, unfiltered joy. "Oh my god, that was beautiful."
Bakugo's eyes locked onto me, shoulders squaring like he was about to make me regret existing. I could already see the fuse burning in his head, the sheer effort it was taking for him not to lunge at me in the middle of the common room.
I rolled up a newspaper from the coffee table and patted my palm with it. "Come," I said, tilting my head. "It has been some time since I tamed you."
Kaminari immediately lost it, nearly toppling off the couch. Mina doubled over, slapping Sero's shoulder repeatedly as she gasped for air. Sero just grinned, shaking his head.
Bakugo twitched. "The fuck did you just say?"
I smacked the rolled-up paper against my palm again. "Sit."
His eye twitched. I could see the exact moment he decided he wasn't just gonna let this slide. His hand sparked. "You wanna fucking die?"
Kaminari grinned. "Dude, Ryuu, say 'heel.'"
I turned to him, unbothered. "Don't ruin it."
Bakugo took a step forward, but before things could escalate, Aizawa's voice cut through the chaos from the hallway.
"If I hear an explosion before the interviews, all of you are running laps."
Everyone froze.
The door swung open, and Iida strode in, looking like he had been rehearsing a speech since sunrise. "Everyone, we should be on our best behavior during the interviews. The press will be evaluating our conduct as much as our words, and we must represent U.A. with honor."
Nobody answered.
He adjusted his glasses. "I trust that means everyone understands."
I shrugged. "Sure."
Bakugo scoffed. "Fuck off."
Iida sighed, massaging his temple. "Close enough."
Fast-forward thirty minutes, one painful commute, and ten minutes of Bakugo threatening to blow up his tie. The "press event" turned out to be more Dollar Tree than prime-time.
One camera, an enthusiastic but clearly underpaid reporter, and a backdrop that was barely holding up under duct tape and desperation. This wasn't some prime-time, headline-dominating coverage… it was a half-assed segment on a third-rate news channel, probably slotted between a rerun of some cooking show and a commercial about back pain relief.
The camera lights beamed straight into my eyes, and I was already getting sick of. They sat me front and center, of course. First-ever hero ranking while still a student, major successes, actual results… none of that 'potential' bullshit they threw at others. Yaoyorozu was next to me, Mina and Toru on the other side. Bakugo was shoved where reporters couldn't hear him. Mineta? Probably under a chair.
The reporter smiled too wide, like she had practiced it in the mirror before this. "So, tell us about that day! What led up to your incredible teamwork against such a unique villain?"
I tapped the mic twice, letting the sound pop through the speakers. "Got a call from the police chief."
Her smile twitched slightly. "Ah, Chief Tsuragamae?"
"The very same." I leaned back, resting my arm on the back support like I was barely invested. "Said a criminal was targeting convenience stores in our area. Seemed minor, but he was consistent, getting bolder. I figured, why not multitask? A lesson in community service, teamwork, and how to enjoy a little Secret Santa."
She blinked. "Secret Santa?"
Mina leaned forward, grinning. "Yup! We split up, visited different stores, bought stuff for each other while keeping an eye out."
Toru clapped her gloved hands together. "It was really fun! And it kept things natural, y'know? No way to tell we were watching for a villain."
The reporter nodded along, clearly scrambling to reframe that as some kind of masterful strategy. "Ah! So rather than waiting for him to strike, you made sure your presence was spread out, increasing your chances of spotting him?"
I flicked a finger toward her. "She gets it."
Yaoyorozu sat straighter. "Though, to be clear, we weren't trying to engage immediately. The goal was information gathering… identifying his methods, patterns, and confirming his Quirk capabilities."
The reporter turned to her. "Right! And who was the first to spot him?"
Mina shot a thumb at herself. "Me and Toru. Saw him checking a store, acting real twitchy."
I nodded. "They sent me a message, I put the rest of the class on alert."
Sero leaned into the mic. "At that point, it was about minimizing damage. We had civilians, tight spaces, shelves stacked with things that could turn into projectiles if a fight broke out. So priority one? Get people out safely."
The reporter looked at him like he had just spoken the gospel. "That is incredibly responsible thinking for students."
I scoffed. "What, you think we would just start swinging in the middle of a family-run store?"
She let out a nervous laugh, probably regretting giving me a mic. "O-of course not! But it is remarkable how smoothly you all coordinated."
Yaoyorozu took the easy save. "Thank you. We ensured exits were clear, reinforced weaker areas in case of stray impacts, and established a controlled engagement zone before making a move."
The reporter nodded, eyes flicking back to me. "And then came the confrontation. What was your first thought when you saw him?"
I tapped my chin like I had to think about it. "Oh. That is the guy from the internet."
Toru giggled. "Right? I recognized him too! His whole thing was being dramatic."
Mina grinned. "Dude had better editing skills than some pro heroes."
The reporter perked up. "Yes! That is right, the villain in question was Gentle Criminal, known for his online presence."
I waved a hand. "Yeah, yeah, he had some fancy speech going, but the second he started bouncing around with his Quirk, we cut the broadcast. No way were we letting him make content out of this."
Kaminari laughed. "Man was pissed! He tried so hard to monologue, and we just shut it down every time."
The reporter tried to mask her amusement. "So, how did you stop him?"
Yaoyorozu took that one. "Gentle Criminal's elasticity Quirk was powerful in confined spaces. He used it to manipulate the store's structure, turning walls and floors into unpredictable surfaces."
I rolled my neck. "Yeah. Annoying as hell."
Sero smirked. "We had to trap him, cut off his escape routes."
The reporter nodded, impressed. "So you didn't just fight… you contained."
Mina pointed a finger. "You are catching on."
She laughed. "And what about his accomplice? The hacker, La Brava?"
Toru waved her hands in front of the camera, making sure at least something was visible. "Ryuu tasked me with taking down La Brava using my invisibility," she said, grinning. "I disabled her equipment and apprehended her. Hehe."
The reporter's eyes lit up, probably at the idea of an invisible hero doing some stealth takedown shit. "That is amazing! How did you approach the situation?"
Toru leaned forward like she was about to share some top-secret classified intel. "Easy. She never saw me coming." She winked at the camera. "Perks of being the best-looking ninja no one sees."
Sero snorted. "Because she literally couldn't."
Toru puffed out her chest. "Stealth master."
Mina snickered. "You mean the girl who giggles every time she sneaks up on someone?"
Toru pointed a finger at her. "Hey, I didn't giggle that time!"
The reporter smiled, nodding along like this was all part of the script. "And after that?"
I waved a hand lazily. "Boring fight. We charged and took Gentle Criminal down."
Kaminari scoffed. "That is the worst storytelling I've ever heard."
I shrugged. "What, you want me to give a play-by-play? Fine. I hit him, he bounced, I hit him again, he went down. The end."
Mina leaned in, eyes narrowed. "You are really underselling it."
I tapped my fingers against the mic. "Guy talked a lot, set up some bouncy bullshit, I cut through it and shut him up. What else is there?"
The reporter gave an awkward laugh. "Well, it is certainly impressive how quickly you handled the situation."
Yaoyorozu adjusted in her seat. "While Ryuu is simplifying it, the key factor was preventing collateral damage. Gentle's Quirk could've caused significant destruction if he had been left unchecked."
Toru grinned. "So, naturally, we left that to Ryuu."
Kaminari smirked. "Yeah, cause it is not a U.A. day if he isn't launching himself at someone like a heat-seeking missile."
I tilted my head. "What else am I supposed to do? Let him monologue about the 'beauty of villainy' or whatever the hell he was on about?"
The reporter jumped in, clearly trying to keep things on track. "And how did you stop him?"
I stretched. "Tackled him mid-air."
She blinked. "Mid-air?"
Mina grinned. "Yeah, dude tried to launch himself away, and Ryuu just…" She clapped her hands together. "Bam. Took him down like a damn falcon snatching a rabbit."
Kaminari snorted. "More like a bowling ball through a window."
Toru laughed. "Hey, either way, it worked."
Yaoyorozu cleared her throat. "Regardless, the situation was handled without anyone being seriously injured, which was the priority."
The reporter nodded. "And what was the aftermath like?"
I waved a hand. "Cops came. Took them away. We went home."
Toru huffed. "Okay, but let's talk about the real important thing."
The reporter tilted her head. "Which is?"
Toru turned to the others. "Who had the best Secret Santa gift?"
Kaminari pointed at himself. "Me, obviously."
Mina scoffed. "Lies. I got Sero that limited-edition All Might keychain."
Sero nodded. "That was pretty solid."
I pointed at Yaoyorozu, sitting next to me. "She got me a brush. A BRUSH."
Yaoyorozu crossed her arms. "It was a high-quality, handcrafted boar bristle brush, Ryuu. Proper hair care is essential."
The reporter let out a nervous laugh. "Well, it seems you may use one."
I turned to her, deadpan. "Bitch, that is why I don't need a damn brush as a Secret Santa gift. I don't brush. I am naturally awesome."
Kaminari choked on his own breath. Mina smacked the table, grinning. "Holy shit, you just called a reporter a bitch on live TV."
"Not my fault she earned it," I said, shoving my phone back in my pocket.
The reporter's forced smile twitched. "R-right, moving on-"
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Operation: POWER STONE
Commander: Ryuu Midoriya
Mission Status: FAILED.
Enemy Resistance: High apathy levels detected in Reader Base Alpha.
Casualties:
Bonus Chapters (7)
Author Sanity (Total Loss)
System Integrity (Critical Damage)
Next Objective: Tactical Guilt Deployment.
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