At Adam's apartment.
"Oh, come on!"
Chandler's riding high until Monica lets out a dramatic sigh. Suddenly, his legs feel like jelly again, and he whines, totally wronged 😩.
"What's wrong?" Monica says, all innocent. "I wasn't even talking about you! I'm just jealous that Lilly almost got pregnant."
"Quit pretending," Adam cuts in, smirking. "Like you've never felt that rush yourself? Need me to jog your memory?"
"I haven't!" Monica fires back.
"July 23, 1998, 8:12:35 p.m.," Adam says, pulling the exact moment from his brain like a human timestamp, leaving no room for her to wiggle out. "We were all hanging out, talking about Rachel's baby.
While Chandler was in the bathroom, you got this wild idea and asked if we wanted to see something fun—said you'd show us how to scare Chandler good.
So, when he came back, you sidled up to him all serious and said, 'Maybe it's because Rachel's pregnant, but I think I'm ready to have a kid with you.'"
"Hahaha! I remember that!" Phoebe bursts out laughing. "Chandler just said 'okay' and freaked Monica out so bad her voice cracked!" 😂
"It wasn't just one word!" Monica protests, covering her face. "He said a whole bunch! He was like, 'I've been thinking about it too, and I think we're ready.' That's not one word!"
"Doesn't change the outcome," Adam teases. "You jumped back, hands up like you were ready to fight, totally shocked, waving at him to shut up and chill."
"You even asked if I was joking," Chandler adds, jumping in now that Adam's got his back. "Then you went, 'You think we're ready to get pregnant now?!'—dragging out the 'now,' arms flailing, looking like you'd seen a ghost."
"Heh," Adam chuckles. "You wanted to scare Chandler's voice up an octave, but you ended up scaring yourself instead. That panic? Probably not far off from Lilly freaking out over a 15-pound baby."
"It's not the same!" Monica insists, digging in. "Back then, we didn't know we'd have trouble having kids. We'd just gotten married and weren't ready for a baby anytime soon.
Plus, it's totally different—I'm talking about that pregnancy panic, you know, the thrill of sneaking forbidden fruit but not being able to handle the consequences…"
"Ohhh," Adam drags out the word playfully. "Got it. What you're really jealous of is the high school forbidden-fruit vibe, huh?"
"Exactly!" Monica doubles down, desperate to dodge admitting she was griping about Chandler. She spills some secret big-girl dreams from back in the day.
"You don't need to be jealous of anyone," Adam says, dead serious. "Didn't you and Rachel get your own taste of forbidden fruit when you went to Columbia?"
"Hahaha!" Phoebe's laughing so hard her stomach hurts. "Ross…"
"Shut it!" Monica slaps a hand over Phoebe's mouth and glares at Adam.
"Alright, enough joking," Adam says, wrapping it up. "Science says most guys pack on pounds after marriage, but look at Chandler—not only is he not chubby, he's slimmed down.
And those wobbly legs? Monica, don't you see how hard he's trying?"
"I'm not saying he's not trying…" Monica mumbles, deflating. "I'm not blaming him either. I'm just mad at myself… Look at Emma—so gorgeous. I want a baby with Chandler too…"
She covers her face and starts crying.
"Monica…" Chandler's up in a flash, pulling her into a hug.
"Monica," Juno says, shooting Adam a look before stepping in to comfort her. "I've heard from Adam that it's just tricky for you guys, not impossible. Isn't it nice like this?
No pressure, no precautions, just enjoying married life to the fullest. Who knows—maybe one day, an even bigger happiness will knock on your door…"
"Really?" Monica looks at Juno, teary-eyed.
"Really," Juno nods firmly.
"Thanks—ugh!" Monica starts to thank her but suddenly gags, pushes Chandler away, and bolts to the bathroom, hand over her mouth.
Blech! Dry-heaving echoes from the bathroom.
"No way…" Adam stares at Juno, jaw dropped. "That worked?" 😳
Juno's just as stunned.
"What's 'no way'?" Phoebe asks, not catching on.
"Is Monica pregnant because Juno said it?" Adam half-jokes, half-gripes.
"Heh," Juno catches the playful jab in his tone and smirks. "Maybe I've got that power. Anyone you want me to knock up? I can help!" She glances at Peggy.
"…" Adam's mouth twitches.
"Pregnant?!" Chandler and Phoebe yell from the bathroom doorway at the same time.
"PREGNANT?!" Monica, who'd just finished puking and rinsing her mouth, screeches at an ear-splitting pitch as she steps out.
"Adam, what'd you say?" She shoves Chandler aside, rushing to Adam with hopeful eyes. "You think I'm pregnant?"
"Maybe," Adam says, dialing back her expectations. "Nausea's just one sign. You'd need a pregnancy test to be sure…" He pauses, then adds, "And even those aren't 100%—an ultrasound at the hospital's the real deal."
Snap! Monica doesn't even wait, grabbing her bag and darting back to the bathroom.
"Uh…" Chandler gives everyone an awkward smile. "Ever since Adam had us get checked and we found out it's tough for us to have kids, she's been dying to try… Like, super dying. She carries pregnancy tests everywhere—five in her bag at all times…"
He doesn't mention that she's burned through a dozen or so in the last few months.
Hmm. Even with no symptoms, if she gets a hunch, she's testing right away.
Chandler's nagged her about it plenty, but Monica's OCD doesn't budge. Eventually, he figured it's a nice break for him, so he let it slide. He's not sweating a few bucks for tests—his back and sanity are worth more.
"…" Everyone's just staring, dumbfounded.
She's really desperate for a kid!
Ten minutes later—
"Two lines! I'm pregnant, I'm pregnant!!!" Monica's ecstatic shriek could shatter the sky.