Medical Center. VIP Ward.
"Barni, your fracture's healed up nicely, but don't forget that charm poison of yours hasn't fully cleared out yet," Adam said with a nudge. "Maybe hold off on wreaking havoc on the world for a bit, huh?"
"Oh, come on, don't try to fool me," Barni shot back with a smirk. "I've already done my homework. As long as I play it safe, it's no big deal. Half the doctors in this hospital have had it too—what, are they all waiting six months to get back in the game?"
"It's not the same," Adam countered, shaking his head. "You said it yourself: New York can't survive without you, Barni Stinson. All those other guys combined don't spread it like you do. They can get away with it; you can't—unless you're pulling a Joey."
"Joey? What's up with him?" Barni's eyes lit up with curiosity.
"He's turned over a new leaf," Adam said with a grin, spilling the tea about how Joey had toned down his playboy ways to avoid some messy family drama. "So, Barni, what about you?"
"That's, like, a decade away," Barni brushed it off. "I'll deal with it then." He flashed a smug little smile. "Joey Tribbiani? Psh, dude's getting old!"
"Yeah, well, you better hope your luck holds up next time," Adam teased.
"Barni, I think you should listen to Adam," James piped up hesitantly. "He's your buddy and a doctor—he's not out to get you."
"James?!" Barni spun around, staring at his brother-in-arms like he'd grown a second head.
"Don't give me that look," James chuckled. "Your luck's been absolute trash lately. As your bro, if it's between your wild lifestyle and keeping you safe, I'm picking safe every time."
"Good brother," Barni said, lifting his chin proudly before jabbing a finger at Adam. "If you really cared about me, you'd get me out of this hospital ASAP—away from this guy. He's my bad-luck charm. Keep him at a distance, and I'll be free to live my best life, no problem!"
"I'm still right here, you know," Adam drawled, unimpressed.
"Quit talking nonsense," James laughed, waving Barni off. Then he turned to Adam. "Hey, did someone just jump off a building earlier?"
"Yeah," Adam nodded, filling him in on the details.
"That's awful," James said, his face darkening with anger. "Everyone's got the right to live how they want—man, woman, whatever, it's their call. Who's got the nerve to judge or sneer at her? Adam, keep an eye on Barni for me—I'm gonna go check on her."
With that, he grabbed a high-heeled shoe and stormed out of the room, fuming.
"He's…?" Adam raised an eyebrow, piecing it together.
"Yup," Barni grinned. "James is gay. That's why we're the ultimate duo. Ted doesn't even deserve to shine our shoes!"
And then Barni launched into a full-on ramble about their epic brotherly adventures—how they'd team up and take on the world. Like that one time at the bar:
They'd split up to scout the scene. Barni checked out the hot guys; James scoped out the ladies. Then James would swoop in to "harass" a woman Barni had his eye on—say, some chick in low-rise jeans with a tattoo peeking out, sipping a drink at the bar.
"Hey, babe, that's one sexy tattoo," James would say, laying it on thick.
"Get lost, you creep!" she'd snap, swatting him away. Even the most chill girls weren't cool with a guy getting that handsy.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Barni would jump in, pulling James back with a straight face. "Her tattoo's not an invitation for you to grope her—it's about her depth. I bet her inner world's like a dolphin swimming through a field of flowers."
Adam couldn't help but crack up at that line. It was ridiculous—but he knew it worked like a charm on some girls.
Sure enough, paired with Barni's sharp looks and custom-tailored suit, the woman would melt into a smile. Then James would "lose it," and the two would launch into a classic East Coast-style showdown:
"What're you staring at?"
"Staring at you, what about it?"
"Look again, I dare you!"
"Oh, I'm looking!"
"Chill, fine, you win, happy now?"
Barni would puff out his chest, getting right in James' face, while James threw up his hands in mock surrender, shooting Barni a sneaky wink before slinking off "defeated."
That left Barni, the big hero, to play it cool. "Next time he bugs you, just let me know," he'd say, turning to leave while counting in his head: One, two, three…
"Thanks! You should stick around… just in case," she'd call after him, right on cue within three seconds.
Barni would turn back, lock eyes with her, and—bam—mission accomplished. Hero saves the day!
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Then they'd switch roles. Barni's assist move was even simpler. James would "collapse" in a crowd of guys, and Barni would yell, "Help! He's not breathing—anyone know CPR?"
James was a good-looking dude, so in a group of guys, some eager beaver would always jump up, eyes gleaming, "I can! I can!" But Barni would bypass the overzealous ones and point straight at the guy James had picked out.
That's how tight these two were. Their crowning achievement? A double date with a pair of siblings—four people, one epic night. If James hadn't been out of town, Ted wouldn't have even gotten a look-in.
Adam listened to Barni's nostalgic bragging while escorting him for an MRI.
Nurse's Station.
"Still thinking about earlier?" a young nurse asked, noticing John Carter lost in thought. "It wasn't your fault, you know."
"Thanks," Carter said, giving her a grateful glance.
"No problem!" she chirped with a sweet smile. "Besides, if it weren't for you, we wouldn't have seen Dr. Duncan's heroic moment—swooping in to catch that jumper mid-air, then pulling off a windmill move to yank them back like it was nothing. So cool, right?!"
Carter's face froze. He shouldn't have said thanks—she wasn't even comforting him; she just wanted to gush about Dr. Duncan!
"Carter, you were there—you've got the best view. Spill the details!" she pressed, grinning.
"Didn't you already hear about it?" he asked, forcing a smile.
"Yeah, but their angle's not the same as yours!" she insisted.
Carter sighed. Adam's first lesson had been clear: Never piss off the nurses. So he recounted the whole thing. She kept cutting in, asking about his feelings—nodding happily when he mentioned being shocked or grateful.
"You're so into Dr. Duncan—you must know a ton about him, huh?" Carter ventured cautiously.
"Totally!" she said, puffing out her chest. "Nobody knows Dr. Duncan better than me."
"So… he asked me about pig knuckles earlier," Carter said. "Said braised ones are the best. What's that about?"
"Oh, that!" She tapped her chin, eyes darting as she snapped her fingers and pointed at him. "I've got it!"
"What's it mean?" Carter asked, leaning in eagerly.
"Can you braise pig knuckles?" she asked, smirking.
"No," he admitted, shaking his head.
"That won't do," she said, waving a hand. "Tonight, you've gotta learn—preferably from a pro."
"Wait—you're saying Dr. Duncan wants to eat my braised pig knuckles?" Carter's jaw dropped.
"Nope!" She wagged a finger. "Dr. Duncan's a billionaire—he's got chefs for that. He's not after some newbie's cooking. You want to learn from him, right? This is your shot! Man, Dr. Duncan's just too nice."
Carter's eyes sparkled as it sank in. "Tonight, I'm finding someone to teach me how to braise pig knuckles!" he muttered to himself.