The apartment party was in full swing.
"So, this is the real Adam, huh?" someone teased.
"Yup, I'm just that loyal," Adam shot back with a grin.
Matthew caught on quick, exchanging a knowing glance with Adam.
Sure, that's what they said.
But deep down, Matthew knew Adam was the kind of guy who truly got friendship and valued it above all else.
Because, let's be real—how much of this world is actually about love?
What's the most basic thing driving a guy to chase a girl? Isn't it just instinct—heart, or something like that?
For Adam to put friendship over that? That was pretty damn impressive.
Okay, fine—Matthew conveniently ignored the fact that Adam wasn't exactly hurting for options like Robin…
---
Meanwhile, in Matthew's bedroom:
"Lily, where's your razor?" Robin demanded, gripping Lily's shoulders with both hands.
"No way!" Lily yelped.
"Yes way! Hand it over!" Robin insisted. "It's been days since I shaved my legs."
Western dating tradition 101: Shave your legs before a date. It's a basic courtesy to the other person.
Monica swore by it.
Honestly, that was tame compared to some.
Take Penny and the gang—they'd be getting regular bikini waxes down the line. Like that time Amy spent six or seven years wearing Sheldon down, and for her birthday, he decided to "gift himself" to her. Penny and Bernadette dragged her straight to the waxing salon.
Not every girl was like that, though.
Some had a vibe more like East Asian women—less maintenance, less fuss.
"You made your own rule, remember?" Lily shot back. "No shaving your legs for the first three dates. You said it'd build self-control—legs hairy, dignity intact!"
She paused, then added, "This doesn't even count as a first date. Where's your resolve?"
"It got surgically removed by the perfect doctor," Robin quipped, smirking at her own joke.
"No!" Lily shook her head, stubborn as ever.
She was regretting this more by the second.
Who could've guessed Robin would be this shameless—ready to go all-in the second they met?
"Please, Lily," Robin begged, clasping her hands together. "I don't want to be like this, but Adam's just too hot. You get it, right? You know how I feel!"
"…"
Lily had no comeback.
Robin wasn't wrong.
She did get it…
"Adam's a total player," Lily warned, trying to talk some sense into her.
"Really?" Robin's eyes lit up like Christmas lights.
Lily groaned inwardly.
Bad boys, huh? Women can't resist 'em. A guy with a reputation like that only made him more appealing.
"He's the worst kind of player," Lily pressed, psyching herself up. "His motto's literally 'more than friends, less than lovers'—and he'll never let you level up to 'lovers.'"
"That's perfect!" Robin gushed. "We're so alike! I almost never make it to the 'lovers' stage either—it just fizzles out naturally. It's chill, easy, free. I love it."
"…"
Lily was exhausted.
She hadn't realized Adam and Robin's weird worldviews matched up so perfectly.
What a pair of oddballs!
Ted, it's not that I didn't try. Their vibes are just too bizarre, Lily grumbled to herself.
"Lily?" Robin stared at her with puppy-dog eyes.
"Adam dates multiple girls at once," Lily blurted, making one last desperate move. "Word is, his stamina's insane—one girl can't even keep up."
"No way, really?" Robin frowned.
"Swear to God," Lily said, seizing the moment. "His energy's legendary. One of his old roommates—a girl—couldn't handle it and moved out. She just let his sleazy behavior slide. You'd never survive, emotionally or physically. Double whammy!"
"I don't buy it," Robin said, suddenly grinning. "Guys love to exaggerate. If he's really like that, I'll take it."
Raised by her dad like one of the boys, Robin was tough as nails—competitive, fearless, obsessed with violent sports and guns. A total gun nut.
Her? Scared? Please.
If anything, this made her more curious about Adam.
Lily slapped her forehead.
She was out of moves.
"Lily, I just moved to New York from Canada," Robin said earnestly. "My career's just getting started. Sure, I can say I'm a reporter for New York Metro News One, but all I get are tiny, forgettable stories no one cares about. And let's be honest—New York Metro News One's a nobody in the media world. I've got big dreams, though. I want to be the best journalist out there—a Pulitzer's gotta have my name on it someday. That means pouring my time and energy into work. Romance? Right now, I just want something casual. You get me?"
She went on, "It's not like I'm marrying Adam tomorrow. I need to test the waters and see what he's really like. With me being me, and him being him, neither of us is losing out, right?"
"The razor's in the bathroom," Lily said with a wry smile. "I'll grab it for you."
What else could she say?
Other than shouting "Hell yeah!" and handing over the razor, she'd done all she could.
"Thanks!" Robin beamed.
---
Back in the living room:
"Babe, what's wrong?" Matthew asked, rushing over as Lily emerged looking glum.
She spilled the whole story.
Matthew's jaw dropped.
"Maybe we should talk to Ted?" Lily suggested, glancing at Ted, who was still over there trying way too hard to play it "cool." She sighed. "Robin's after real casual—Adam-style casual. Ted can't fake that."
"Yeah," Matthew agreed. "Robin's all about her journalism career, Adam's obsessed with his doctor gig. They both put work first, heart and soul—relationships are just a side dish. Ted? He's all about love and marriage, heart and soul. They're on totally different wavelengths."
"So what do we do?" Lily fretted. "Ted seems super serious about this! Not that I blame him—Robin's got the looks, the personality, the vibe. If I were Ted, I'd think she was my soulmate too."
"I'll talk to him," Matthew said with a sigh. "Either way, this party's for Robin—Ted set it up. We can't let Adam and Robin mess with him tonight. I'll get Adam to leave early. After that, whatever happens happens."
"Think Adam will go along with it?" Lily asked skeptically.
"He will," Matthew said, grinning. "Honestly, he'd even turn Robin down flat for Ted's sake if it came to it."
"No way, really?" Lily raised an eyebrow.
"Babe, Adam might be a flirt like Barney, but their character? Night and day," Matthew said seriously. "He's all about loyalty to his friends—that's what I admire most about him. So yeah, he'll agree. But whatever happens later with him and Robin? We've gotta stay out of it. Ted and Robin aren't a thing, and if she keeps throwing herself at Adam, we can't expect him to hold out forever. That'd be inhumane."
"I get it, babe," Lily nodded.
With that, they split up.
Lily went to grab the razor for Robin.
Matthew headed off to convince Adam to ditch the party before Razor Robin pounced.