White.
Pure white.
Nothing but white.
No sound, no air—just me, suspended in nothing.
Wait…
"Yo, yo, Kiyomi-chan!" A voice calls out within the whiteness.
I finally understand now: this must be hell.
"Yo, yo, Kiyomi! Call it whatever you want. Heaven, nirvana, whatever. I'm here with you now!"
"I didn't refer to this place as something so nice. What the hell are you doing here, anyway?" I ask.
"I thought you'd be lonely, so I blessed you with my company! Aren't you happy?"
"No."
"You know you could've monologued a bit so the response doesn't seem too instant. The readers will think that you hate me…"
I stare at her blankly. She's not entirely wrong.
What is she doing here? I thought this White World was mine alone—my punishment, my sanctuary, my prison. I never expected another being to exist here, too, in my life. I still don't even know where this is. Maybe she has some answers. It's not like I'll ask her anyway. I wanted this world to serve as some sort of break. But now this pure, white sanctuary has been tainted.
"Stop monologuing! It's just you and me in this White World. You finally have a partner in crime. There's nothing here to describe. There's no one else here to talk with. Just you and me. So, let's chat."
"What are you doing here? How are you here? What happened to you? You must remember, right?"
"Maybe I remember. Maybe I don't. Not like I'd tell you, anyway. Just like how you won't ask me anyway."
"Didn't I just ask you?"
"You asked me after staring at me with a blank face for what felt like years. You spent all that time thinking to yourself. I got lonely…"
She points her fingers at each other. I can tell she's trying to seem cute. Too bad she gives creepy vibes.
"Kagami. This is not the time for jokes. When I go back—"
"If you go back, that's what you should be saying. How do you know that you'll be able to return? Hmm. Maybe return isn't the right choice of wording. How do you know you'll see a new beginning?"
"It's not like I know I'll go somewhere. I hope I will. In my next life, I'll make sure nothing happens to Olympia. And you too, I guess…"
"I appreciate the sentiment, but that means nothing. You could have prevented what had happened if you wanted to. Oops, now you know that I remember. But you could indeed have prevented the tragedy. You could have prevented the death of Olympia. But you didn't. You actively didn't. You truly are The Fool With No Heart."
Like always, I have no idea what Kagami is talking about. Or maybe I do, and I'm actively denying that fact.
"Kiyomi, what sky do you see now?"
This question again? I'm certain you don't want a repeat of this conversation anymore. But since there's nothing else to do, I'll entertain her.
"In this world, this White World, there is no sky. Maybe the best way to describe what's above me is to call it a roof."
"A roof, you say. If we were to call it that, it would be implied that this world has a limit. But you've been here for quite a while already. No—You've been here for an eternity. You've mindlessly walked for as long as you can, or perhaps I should say as long as you've wanted to. And you've learned that, horizontally, there is no end. You've walked for as long as you wished, yet always found yourself where you began. The same would be true if you flew upward, or dove below—there is no ceiling, no floor. Only the distance between your wanting and your stopping. The same will be true if you were to descend and continue to do so until you've grown bored. There is no end to this world. But you already knew that, didn't you, Kiyomi Otonashi?"
She's right. With all the time I've had here, I've searched for a physical exit for a strenuous length of time. I didn't stop because I couldn't go any farther. I only stopped because I wanted to. Because I grew bored.
"This world has no end," I begin, "but then, where did this world come from? Why does it exist? Where is it meant to lead me? Why are you and I the only inhabitants?
All she does is shrug her shoulders.
"Kagami, can you at least answer me this: am I dead?"
She smiles at me. What type of smile is it? I don't know. "You're not that lucky, Kiyomi. Yes, you've died, but you are not dead." Her words linger. Died, but not dead. What kind of half-existence is that? "If I'm being honest, I'm not quite sure what this world is. I don't know why you exist in this world, and I don't know why I've joined you. But, even if I don't know anything, I at least know how we can take a step outside of this world."
"How?" I instinctively ask.
"You already know, Kiyomi. You know everything. All you have to do to exit this world and go to a new beginning is to wake up. You've already done so before. On your own, might I add."
All I need to do is wake up.
That's all.
I just need to wake up.
But how can I?
How can I return to a world where I know that someone wants to murder me?
Where someone wants to murder all of us.
I've been killed twice already.
I hate it.
It hurts.
It's scary.
It's—lonely.
So unbearably lonely.
I can't do it.
I—
I—
Then, all of a sudden, she grabs my hand—the only one who can. The one bound to me, as I am to her. My reflection.
"Everything is going to be okay. That, I know. Remember, Kiyomi? You can trust me. You can trust yourself. So, let's go—
"To a new beginning."
And like that, a new chapter begins. I'll wake up—pretending this was all just a fairytale.